u/Familiar-War4189

identified as trans for like 2 years atp and i'm coming up at 6 months on hrt. i really like everything that has changed appearance-wise, but i will never look like anything other than a failmale. i think it's also starting to fuck with my circulation. i got a shitton of spider veins during the brief couple months i was on spiro, so now i'm just constantly anxious that hrt is going to give me some chronic disease.

anyways, how do you actually cope w dysphoria? how long do hrt withdrawal symptoms typically last?

i've spent about 6 months on hrt, and--while i genuinely like all of the changes to my appearance i've seen so far--i don't think it would ever be possible for me to be seen as a woman without extensive surgeries that i have no interest in getting.

also, i've been experiencing quite a few negative changes to my physical health that i feel could be attributed to hrt, despite my doctor's insistence that it was not likely; my weight has been dropping (i was already borderline underweight before hrt and i've lost like 7lbs atp), and--more recently--i've had to start taking an otc ppi for a "silent reflux" that was constantly burning the back of my throat. i didn't exactly have a healthy diet before this, but i hardly ever even got heartburn before hrt, and now eating anything remotely fatty makes me feel like i'm going to vomit.

have any other mtf (former or otherwise) people experienced something like this while on hrt?

also, if i stopped hrt today, is it likely that everything would just "go back to normal?" i have some slight breast development, but i'm under the impression that i'd see some shrinkage after quitting hrt. other than that, i assume that testosterone would just pick up where i left off after a couple months.

most importantly: how do you cope with living as a man? if i could keep taking hrt and become a somewhat passing woman, i'd do it. frankly, i've read the posts from detrans women on this sub talking about how they rediscovered their femininity and i seethe with jealousy. i'm not sure i would ever fully lose the desire to be a woman, but i've hit a point in my life where i've realized it's simply not possible or physically healthy for me.