u/Familiar_Order3583

My aunt and uncle have this weird dress code for everyone. No tank tops, no low shirts, your shirt can't show your belly button even if it's just when you lift up your arms, and no shorts/skirts that "show cheek" if you bend over. When we are swimming, we also aren't allowed to "show cheek" which is almost freaking impossible to find with most swimsuits and last year I had to buy these weird boy shorts to wear at the lake.

It's insanely sexist because even though they make the rules "for everyone" most boy's clothing naturally follows those rules anyways. I've only seen them call out my male cousin and once my brother one time for dress code but my aunt has pulled me aside at least five times in recent years about it.

Also it's just insane. It's not school and it's not church its a freaking vacation. I don't think they have a right to try to tell me what to wear.

I'm sick of their dress code on a freaking vacation and I don't think they should be allowed to tell me what to wear, they aren't my parents, and it's impossible to find clothes and outfits that meet all of their "standards". I think my mom should stand up for me. Also, what are they going to do if I'm not following it? Kick my family out? There have never been any consequences before except my aunt asks me not to wear it again.

This year I'm just going to pack whatever I want and say screw the dress code. And I think my mom should stand up for me. But even if she doesn't it's not like they can force me to change. My mom is annoyed with me and says I have to follow their rules since it's their place but also admitted she can't dress me anymore.

AITA?

She doesn't really use social media and isn't doing it in the cringey/millennial way it gets associated with on online. Not like "I'm his first love and his first kiss so his wife better watch out" or anything. Just more like she's excited about having a baby who is a boy. I think she'd be saying "girl mom" in the same way if he was a girl. But I don't think she knows about the association. I don't know if I should tell her that it's considered very cringey to say nowadays or not.

This year for mother's day I asked my husband for a trip I had really wanted to go on for a while. Because of the way the tour dates work, we are going on Monday and our "celebration" will be Wednesday when we have a special event booked I really wanted to do and lunch at a restaurant I picked.

However that means that my husband wants to dedicate Sunday to celebrating my MIL, specifically going to the family brunch. Last year at the family brunch there were four moms: MIL, me, pregnant SIL, and just had a baby SIL whose birthday was in a few days time.

While all of us recieved flowers, MIL and my two SILs recieved multiples gifts form multiple people, one for her birthday and one for upcoming baby, while the only gift I was given was from my husband and one from SIL she gave a duplicate of to all of us. I felt incredibly left out. Also, two SILs and MIL (and some other female relatives without kids) are sort of "in" the family clique and I am out of it. This can be very obvious at events.

I don't want to spend mothers day in that enviornment and think we could still do a small, free celebration. Like go on a picnic or have a movie night or something.

However my husband thinks that since we are going on the trip and are celebrating on Wednesday it shouldn't be a problem to go to the brunch so that he can celebrate his mother. He says he can just go and bring our daughter. But then I would be alone on mother's day, and I don't want to go.

I think that he should prioritize me over his mom as I am the mother of his child and more importantly his wife... he says thats not fair since we are doing the whole trip. But I dont think that means its okay to prioritize his mom on the actual day.

AITAH? Or is he?