r/AITApod

Im 28, my sister is 26. I moved back into my parents granny flat behind their main house about three years ago to save for a deposit on my own place, and weve had an arrangement where I pay them 600 a month which covers part of the utilities and the wifi. My sister moved into the main house two years ago after she finished her postgrad and has been working full time since, and I always assumed she was paying something similar to me but we never actually talked about it directly.

Last night I was bringing some laundry over from my flat and could hear my parents in the kitchen on speakerphone with what sounded like a bank or a credit card company, both clearly stressed about it. I waited until they finished and offered to bump my rent up to 800 or 900 for a few months to help them get on top of things. They were really grateful, my mum nearly cried.

I asked, just as a follow up, what my sister was paying so I could work out the gap. There was a long silence and then my mum said nothing, and my dad got a look on his face I have not seen in years. He told me my sister has not paid a single cent in two years, and on top of that she just bought a brand new car that my dad has been paying the insurance on because she said she was tight that month and the next.

We had a family sit down later that evening and my sister came in defensive from the start. When my parents floated the idea of her paying 300 a month and me staying at 600, she said 100 max because she was "trying to live her life" and "saving for her own future too." I told her I had been saving for mine for three years while paying her in, and she told me to fuck off, said I was being a snitch, and stormed off to her room.

After she left I told my parents I wouldnt be paying any more rent until she starts paying hers, and that whatever she ends up paying is what Im paying too, no more. My mum got upset and said they really needed the money, and I told her thats not my problem to solve alone anymore and went back to my flat.

This morning my dad knocked on my door and told me I was being an asshole for refusing to keep paying, and when I said make my sister pay he said she wont listen to them and they cant force her. I told him thats too bad and shut the door.

AITA?

Me (29m) and my fiancée (27f) dated two years and got engaged four months ago. She moved into my place after the engagement, i pay the mortgage while she covers utilities and groceries, and the plan is to put her on the deed once were married so she builds equity too. Her younger brother (23) is around constantly and hes polite enough to my face, but i never once agreed to him basically living here.

The thing is he treats my house like his second home. He lets himself in during the day to do his washing, eats whatever is in the fridge including the meals i prep for work, and crashes on my sofa for three or four nights at a stretch without anyone asking me, then leaves the place a tip. When i brought it up with my fiancée she said hes just close with her and itll settle down once hes more sorted, which has been the line for months now.

Then a couple of weeks ago i came home early and there were two lads i didnt know in my living room playing my console while the brother made them food in my kitchen. Turned out hed told them to come round because "no ones usually in during the day." I was fuming and told my fiancée i wasnt comfortable with him having that kind of run of the place, and she sort of agreed and then did nothing.

The final straw was last week when i found out hed got the spare key id given my fiancée for emergencies copied and handed it to one of those mates so they could "use the wifi and the xbox" while he was at work. A stranger had a key to my house. I sat my fiancée down and told her flat out that if her brother lets himself in again without me knowing im changing the locks and hes not getting a new one, no discussion. AITA?

Bit of context first. I (24f) have a pretty serious nut allergy, the proper kind where i carry an epipen everywhere, and everyone in my life knows this and has always taken it seriously, or so i thought. Its not a fussy preference thing, it can genuinely put me in hospital.

So a few weekends ago i was at a house party and ill be honest i got absolutely hammered, way more than i should have. At some point my mates brought over a plate of brownies and because i wasnt thinking straight i actually checked, i literally asked "theres no nuts in these right" and they all went "nah youre fine, theyre the safe ones." They tasted a bit weird to me but i was so drunk i just assumed it was me and carried on.

Turns out they were not the safe ones. I didnt have a full reaction thank god, probably because id eaten so little of one, but i woke up the next day with my lips and throat feeling off and genuinely scared about what couldve happened. Then my sister messaged me telling me to look at one of their stories.

It was them filming the actual nut brownie packaging, then filming themselves handing them to me, with the bit where i asked if they were safe left in, and then later clips of them doing impressions of me having a reaction, miming clutching their throat and pretending to inject an epipen while laughing. They thought the whole thing was hilarious.

I screen recorded all of it and i took it to the police, because to me they knowingly gave someone with a serious allergy the exact thing that could land them in hospital, filmed it, and put it online to humiliate me. Three of them are now dealing with the fallout from that and theyre all furious, saying im completely overreacting and ive ruined everything over a stupid joke.

AITA?

So i (29f) have a younger sister (26f) who lost her licence about a year ago after racking up too many points, totally her own doing, and ever since then ive somehow turned into her unpaid taxi service without ever actually agreeing to it.

It started reasonable enough, the odd lift to work when the buses were bad or a run to the supermarket on a sunday. Every time she would say it was just until she got herself sorted with a bike or worked out the bus routes properly.

The thing is she never sorted any of it out. The bike never got bought and the bus app never got downloaded, and i ended up doing the work run three or four mornings a week plus random evening pickups whenever she texted, and id just do it because saying no felt mean.

A few weeks ago she asked me to drive her forty minutes each way to a weekend thing with her mates and i finally said i couldnt keep doing all of this. I told her i was happy to help out now and then but i wasnt going to be her default lift anymore and she genuinely needed a real plan to get around.

She got really upset and said she couldnt believe i was abandoning her over something that wasnt even her fault, which is wild because it absolutely was her fault, and that family is meant to help each other without keeping count of every little favour.

And thats the bit thats stuck with me, because i wasnt counting favours, i just realised id quietly built my entire week around her not having to fix her own problem. Now shes barely replying to me and our mum keeps hinting i was a bit harsh about it.

I cant tell if i pulled the rug out from under her or if im finally just refusing to keep enabling something she has zero reason to ever sort out while i keep showing up. AITA?

I travel for work pretty often, sometimes gone for a week or two at a time. My neighbor, I'll call her Diane (she's in her 40s), knew my schedule and would occasionally ask if she could use my spot for guests or whatever. I always said yes, no big deal.

Came back early from a trip last month and there's a random car in my spot. I brought it up to Diane and she said it was her cousin visiting. Fine whatever.

Then my other neighbor casually mentioned he'd seen different cars parked there pretty regularly while I was gone and joked that Diane must have a LOT of cousins. That stuck with me so I set up a small camera facing the lot.

Turns out she had been listing my spot on one of those parking apps the entire time. Like actively making money off it, we're talking $15 to $20 a day in a pretty busy area near downtown. I had some money put aside so it wasn't like I was hurting financially, but she was straight up running a side hustle on something that belongs to me without ever asking.

I confronted her and she got defensive immediately, said I "wasn't using it anyway" and acted like I was being unreasonable for even bringing it up. I asked her to stop and said I wanted some kind of compensation for however long she'd been doing this. She called me petty and now a couple neighbors think I overreacted because apparently she had been giving a cut to the building HOA??? Like that somehow makes it okay???

AITA for pushing back on this

My aunt and uncle have this weird dress code for everyone. No tank tops, no low shirts, your shirt can't show your belly button even if it's just when you lift up your arms, and no shorts/skirts that "show cheek" if you bend over. When we are swimming, we also aren't allowed to "show cheek" which is almost freaking impossible to find with most swimsuits and last year I had to buy these weird boy shorts to wear at the lake.

It's insanely sexist because even though they make the rules "for everyone" most boy's clothing naturally follows those rules anyways. I've only seen them call out my male cousin and once my brother one time for dress code but my aunt has pulled me aside at least five times in recent years about it.

Also it's just insane. It's not school and it's not church its a freaking vacation. I don't think they have a right to try to tell me what to wear.

I'm sick of their dress code on a freaking vacation and I don't think they should be allowed to tell me what to wear, they aren't my parents, and it's impossible to find clothes and outfits that meet all of their "standards". I think my mom should stand up for me. Also, what are they going to do if I'm not following it? Kick my family out? There have never been any consequences before except my aunt asks me not to wear it again.

This year I'm just going to pack whatever I want and say screw the dress code. And I think my mom should stand up for me. But even if she doesn't it's not like they can force me to change. My mom is annoyed with me and says I have to follow their rules since it's their place but also admitted she can't dress me anymore.

AITA?

My cousin and I are both in our late twenties and shes been a trainwreck the last few years, a couple of bad relationships, a couple of fired-from situations, and she lost her share of a rental about two months ago. Family is small, so when she had nowhere else to land she asked if she could crash in my spare room while she figured things out. I have plenty of space and I dont need rent from the room, so I said three months tops, get yourself sorted and out.

I told her I wasnt charging rent but asked if she could handle the basic tidying around the house since I work long hours and the place was starting to get away from me, just the dishwasher, hoovering once a week, wiping down the kitchen. Id give her a hundred a week for it, partly to keep things fair and partly so she had some cash in her pocket while she job hunted. She agreed straight away.

This past Friday was payday for her little arrangement. I dropped a hundred on the kitchen counter on my way out the door and she stopped me to say I owed her more, and I asked what she meant.

She told me she had also been doing my herb garden on the back patio, watering and trimming it, which was easily another thirty quid a week. She had filed and sorted through the stack of unopened mail and household paperwork on my dining table too, which at organising service rates was another eighty quid. According to her she was owed two hundred and ten this week, not the hundred I had given her.

I told her I never asked her to touch the herb garden or the mail, and she said all of that fell under "keeping the house in order" so technically I was getting a bargain at the original rate. She got worked up about it and started saying she was being taken advantage of and how this is exactly why she has trust issues with family.

I told her to pack a bag, the three months was being cut short, and she had until the weekend to find somewhere else. She lost it and called everyone in the family to tell them I was throwing her out over money I could easily afford.

The money is honestly not the point, I have it, I would have paid her the extra if shed mentioned doing those things in advance. What disgusted me was the way she came at me with an invoice for things I never asked her to do, after I had given her a roof and a weekly paycheck for two months. AITA?

so i was hit by a car coming home from work three weeks ago and came off my bike at a junction, went over the bonnet and landed on the right side of my face, the short version is i fractured my cheekbone and lost a fair bit of skin from my forehead down to my jaw, i also have some road rash patches on my shoulder and upper arm, ill be left with proper scarring on the side of my face for life and ive only just started getting used to looking at myself in the mirror.

my consultant has told me that i need to stop covering the wounds now that the scabs have formed and im supposed to apply a topical cream a couple of times a day and otherwise leave it open to the air, it looks bad if im being honest because parts of it are still red and raw and the cream makes it shiny, but thats what shes told me to do and i trust her.

yesterday i had my follow up appointment back at the hospital, i got there a bit early and signed in and sat down in the outpatient waiting area, i was already not loving being out in public looking like this so i had headphones in and a book i was pretending to read.

about twenty minutes in a bloke whod been sat across with his little boy got up and walked over to me and said "sorry love do you mind covering that up, hes getting upset," i looked at him for a second and said the doctor told me not to cover it and that im actually here for an appointment about it, he said "well its quite graphic, theres no need to be rude, just a scarf or something would do."

i told him this is my face and its going to keep being my face and im not going to apologise for showing it in a hospital waiting room of all places, i said maybe instead of telling a woman half his age to hide hers he could explain to his son that people get hurt and they heal, he didnt like that, he picked up his stuff and went over to reception to ask if they could wait somewhere else and they got moved through a different door a minute later.

my name got called soon after and i held it together through the appointment but i sat in the car park and cried for about half an hour before i could drive myself home. AITA?

Quick context. At 22 I had a really short marriage to a man almost twice my age that fell apart within eighteen months in a pretty messy way. It made the local papers for a fortnight because of who he was, and people who didnt know me just assumed Id married him for money. I didnt, but Ive had to live with that hanging over me ever since.

I met my fiancé about three years ago, were 29 and 35 now, and his family found out about my previous marriage from a cousin around six months in. Things got weird for a while, his mum and aunts kept making little comments about me "moving fast," his BIL once asked my fiancé in front of me if hed done a proper financial check, and for a couple of months I was being watched at every family event in case I made off with the silverware. My fiancé shut most of it down and we thought wed moved past it.

He proposed last year and we found out I was pregnant five months ago, told his family straight away. His sisters and younger brother were thrilled but his mum pulled me aside and asked me to "be honest" about whether the baby was actually her sons. I rolled my eyes, told her yes, and let it go, which I shouldnt have.

Last weekend we were at his parents place with most of his family plus a few of his dads mates and we got onto what the baby might look like. There were the usual harmless guesses about noses and eyes, then his dad just goes "well with OPs history we might want to keep the paternity test number handy, in case it comes out looking like the first husband." He laughed, his brothers laughed, my fiancé went red.

Before my fiancé could say anything I said "Im sorry, I dont get it." His dad got flustered and said "you know, its just a joke," and I said "no, I really dont get it, explain it to me." He tried to wave it off but I kept asking him to walk me through why it was a joke and what exactly he meant by it. By the third time, one of his own mates went "yeah this isnt funny mate" and his dad muttered something and left the room.

His BIL pulled me into the kitchen later and told me I was bang out of order to embarrass his dad in his own house, that I knew what the joke was about, and that with my history I shouldnt have been surprised. Now the whole family is on the phone with my fiancé demanding I apologise to his father. AITA?

so my sister (26) and i (28) have always been close, weve been each others sounding board our entire adult lives, we live about 20 minutes from each other and see each other most weekends, weve always been a physically affectionate family, lots of hugging, sitting close on couches, leaning on each other watching tv, my mum is the same way with both of us, its just how we grew up.

my in-laws were over for the weekend last week and on the saturday night my sister had come over to ours for dinner because shes been going through a rough patch at work and i wanted her to be around people, after dinner we all migrated to the lounge, my wifes parents had brought a couple of bottles of decent wine, my wife and her parents were drinking, my sister had one glass then switched to tea, and we put on a film. about an hour in my sister had basically melted into the couch next to me, leaning on my shoulder, half asleep, the same way weve sat on a couch since we were teenagers.

once the film ended my sister woke up, gave me a long hug, said goodnight to everyone, and drove home, my wife and her parents stayed up to finish the wine. a couple more glasses in, my father in law sort of cleared his throat and said he didnt want to say anything earlier but he thought it was inappropriate that i still cuddled with my sister like that at our age, that my wife had said the same to him in private before, and that he and my mil thought we should "be aware of how it looks."

i sat there for a second waiting for someone to laugh, my wife didnt, my mil nodded, my fil pressed on saying he loved me and he wasnt accusing me of anything, he just thought adult siblings shouldnt fall asleep on each other on the couch like that, that it was the kind of thing people noticed.

i told all three of them to fuck off and go fuck themselves, very plainly and without raising my voice, and then i went to bed.

they all want an apology noW

AITA?

When I was 22 my dad and I made a deal. Im 26 now, sitting on the other side of four years of work, trying to figure out if Im being unreasonable or if I have every right to be done with him.

A bit of context first. My family is comfortable financially but the rule growing up was that anything I wanted beyond basic needs I had to save up for myself. Im not complaining, I think it taught me a lot, but it meant a deal with my dad was always a big deal because gifts of any size were never really on the table.

The other thing about my dad is that hes always been a loopholer. If we played any game growing up he found a technicality to win and laughed about it for days, and any time I called him out he would say "life isnt fair," which drove me nuts as a teenager and still does.

At 22 I was finishing undergrad and talking about taking a year off before grad school because I was burnt out, and my dad pulled me aside with a deal. If I went straight into my masters in architecture and finished it with distinction, then worked at a real firm for two years straight without quitting or pivoting, he would contribute fifty thousand pounds toward the deposit on my first home. We shook on it with my mum as witness.

I did it, I went straight into the masters and finished with distinction, then took a junior associate role at a mid sized firm and stuck out the brutal first two years. I hit the two year mark.

A couple of weeks ago he told me he had something for me and to come over for dinner. I showed up to a wrapped box in the dining room, bigger than a shoebox but not by much. I opened it and inside was a beautifully built wooden dollhouse. My dad burst out laughing and said "a deals a deal, I said Id contribute toward your first home and here you go, paid for in full." My mum looked horrified.

I asked if he was serious and he said of course he wasnt giving a 26 year old fifty grand toward a flat, we could discuss a more reasonable amount when I was ready. I told him we already discussed a reasonable amount four years ago and shook on it.

His answer was "life isnt fair."

Ive barely spoken to him since.

AITA?

OK so this involves complicated family dynamics and I’ll try keep it brief.

I (30s/F) grew up in a very abusive family. My father was absent, my mother was emotionally and physically abusive, and my older sister (“B”) was physically abusive toward me growing up. She pushed me down stairs badly enough to crack my tailbone, hit me, stole from me, and once locked me outside overnight in freezing weather.

My younger sister (“A”) later admitted multiple times that what happened growing up was abusive and wrong. Because our parents weren’t emotionally safe, I became very protective of her and spent years supporting her emotionally, listening to her problems for hours, reaching out first, and trying to maintain a close relationship.

Over time though, the relationship became very one-sided. She borrowed thousands from me when I was already struggling financially and later outright said she wouldn’t repay it because she was “in her 20s.” There were also incidents of stealing and hurtful behavior that were never acknowledged.

Growing up, whenever I achieved something or got positive attention, both sisters would accuse me of being conceited or attention-seeking. Even now I avoid sharing achievements with A because I sense coldness or irritation afterward.

The final straw was a road trip with A, her now-husband, my best friend, and me. They became controlling and argumentative during the trip. When I asked if we could visit family nearby, they confronted me together and said I was “ruining their holiday.”

Afterward we argued on WhatsApp, I suggested therapy because I genuinely wanted to repair things. She ignored it repeatedly and continued sending dismissive messages. Around that same time she also accused me of being physically abusive growing up, which I genuinely do not believe is true. My entire survival strategy as a child was avoiding B because she terrified me.

I blocked A because I needed emotional distance. During that period she got married and didn’t invite me, although she did invite my best friend from the trip.

I know I’m not perfect, but despite all the dysfunction, I was never abusive toward my sisters and would never wish horrible things on them. I often feel confused about how I somehow became the “black sheep” despite trying hardest to maintain relationships.

I’m single and would like some semblance of a family but should I simply walk away?

so ive been with my boyfriend (28) for four and a half years and last weekend was his 30th, hed told me what he wanted for his birthday but couldnt justify the money on himself so i dipped into savings and bought him a watch hed had his eye on for over a year and it cost about 2800 quid which is a lot for me because i grew up working class and still budget like it.

bit of context, my family runs a busy minicab firm where my mum still answers the phones some weekends and my dad still drives, and ive been open with my boyfriend about it from the start since he comes from a totally different world where his parents are both gps and his friend group all went to the same fee paying school he did. ive always thought he was fine with it.

his birthday was at a bar his best friend had booked out and i showed up with the watch wrapped and when i handed it over he properly lost it and made a thing of it in front of the whole table. about half an hour later his best friend who has never quite liked me came up to me at the bar and said something along the lines of "i suppose if you grow up counting pennies you get really good at saving for the big stuff well done you," said with a smile and the kind of pause that meant i was supposed to take it.

i pulled my boyfriend outside and asked him to say something to her because the comment was clearly aimed at my family and i didnt want to make a scene at his birthday, he said i was overreacting and shes just being messy and i cant take a joke and everyone knows where im from anyway so i should be flattered i could even pull a gift like that off, then he said the line i havent stopped replaying which was "honestly if i can get over your background to be with you, you can get over one joke from her."

i didnt say anything back, i went inside and took the watch from the gift table and left through the back door and drove home, the next morning i took it to the shop where they refunded me without any drama and i texted him to ask his best friend for the watch since she shares his opinion of my background.

AITA?

Im 23, my girlfriend is 22, weve been together for two years and live about half an hour apart. Around the same time we started dating I got really into baking, kind of obsessively, and its honestly the only hobby Ive stuck with for more than a few months. I end up baking something new at least once a week, sometimes more, and the funny thing is I dont actually like eating sweet stuff that much, the part I love is the process.

My girlfriend, on the other hand, loves desserts. So pretty much from the start whatever I bake ends up at her place. She has tried every single thing Ive made over these two years and gives me proper notes and ratings on each one.

Last weekend she had me over for dinner and after we ate she handed me a scrapbook she had clearly been working on for ages. Every single bake Id ever made for her was in it, photographed, dated, with a paragraph she had written about how it tasted and what she remembered about the day she had it. She gave it to me after I dropped off the hundredth one earlier that week, and there was a long letter at the back about how proud she was of me and how much she loved me. I genuinely cried at her kitchen table.

I went home buzzing and showed it to my mum and my older sister, who I see most weekends. I expected them to find it sweet but they both went weirdly quiet, and then my sister started in about how thats a hundred things Ive baked for someone else and how many of those have I baked for them in two years, which is honestly maybe five. My mum joined in saying she hadnt realised I had been doing this so much without ever once thinking of her.

I tried to explain that my girlfriend is the one who actually loves sweets and that theyve never asked me to bake for them, but they kept circling back to the count and how that felt. By the time I left my mum was barely speaking to me, and my sister sent me a message later saying she hoped I understood why they were hurt and that they felt second to my girlfriend in something that should be a family thing.

I dont know what to do with this, I genuinely love baking and I love that my girlfriend made me feel seen for it, but I also dont want my mum sitting at home thinking I value her less because Ive been giving most of it to my girlfriend. AITA for not having baked more for them all this time?

I (28F) have been married to my husband (30M), who is in the Marines, for 5 years. Because of his work, he’s gone for long periods, deployments, training, etc. I’ve always tried to be supportive because I know it’s demanding.

Here’s the thing that’s been bothering me: every time he comes back home after being away, the first person he hugs or greets is his mother. We live close to his family, so she’s often there or visits quickly after he returns. I understand she worries about him and misses him too, but I’m his wife. I spend months waiting, managing everything at home, counting down until he’s back.

Meanwhile, whenever I come home after visiting family or being away, even for a shorter time, the first person I greet is him because he’s my partner and the first person I want to see.

The last time he came back, he walked in, immediately hugged his mom, talked with her for a while, and I was standing there feeling… weirdly invisible. He eventually hugged me too, but it felt like an afterthought. Later I told him it hurt my feelings, and he said I was making something innocent into a competition and that “my mom is always going to be my mom.” This was happening even before we got married but I always assumed that it was because I was the gf not the wife.

I’m not asking him to stop loving his mother or ignore her. I’m just hurt that I don’t seem to be the person he’s most excited to see after months apart, while he’s absolutely the first person I think of.

He thinks I’m overreacting and being insecure. I think it’s less about the hug itself and more about feeling emotionally secondary in my own marriage.

AITA?

so my sister (27) has been with her boyfriend (33) for about a year, hes one of those "brutal honesty" types, says things that are quietly cruel and then leans on the fact that hes "just being honest" when anyone pushes back. shes told me a few times that hes not malicious, hes just direct, and that we should get used to it.

bit of context, im 35 and im in the middle of a divorce, my husband of eight years and i decided to separate four months ago, were doing it amicably, joint counselling, sorting the house, all of it as good as it can be. its still the hardest year of my life and the family knows i dont want to talk about it at every gathering.

we were at my mums 60th last weekend, about twenty of us at the house, food, wine, my mums favourite people. midway through dinner my sisters boyfriend turned to me with that little half smile he does and asked how things were going with my ex, and before i could brush it off he said "honestly though, anyone could see this coming a mile off, you were always the more intense one and that kind of energy doesnt last in a long marriage."

i went still for a second, my sister did the little laugh she does to defuse him, my mum looked into her plate, and i just looked at him and said "interesting take from a man whose own relationships have never made it past eighteen months, tell me, was the last one the intense one or were they all intense ones."

the table went silent then about three people started laughing, he stood up, said he wasnt going to sit here and be attacked, and walked out. my sister went after him.

AITA?

so we have an adult son (23) who moved back home after graduating last year, my husbands original idea was that hed live with us rent free and help with my husbands dad who has mid-stage dementia and lives with us. my father in law needs a lot of help during the day, my husband and i both work full time, my son was happy to help in theory and for a while it worked.

a few months in my son started saying he wanted to get a job, he wanted his own money, he wanted to start saving for somewhere of his own. my husband was against it from the start, even offered to double his allowance, but my son was getting restless and you cant pay someone enough to feel like an adult in their parents house.

so he started applying, over the course of a year he probably applied to forty different jobs in his field, every single one either ghosted him or quietly cancelled. he was starting to think it was him.

three weeks ago i was using the family laptop to print something and the gmail was logged in as my son. i looked through the sent folder and there were dozens of withdrawal-of-application emails sent from his account that he hadnt written, i then noticed sent emails to my husbands phone confirming each cancellation.

my husband had been logging in as my son and pulling the applications himself the day after my son submitted them.

i blew up at him, he didnt deny it, he said he was just making sure his dad was looked after, that our son had been a huge help and that him getting a job would mean someone else looking after grandad and that was complicated. i pointed out that we have professional carers available and the agency we use can expand to full days, and he just said it wasnt the same as family.

i drove our son out to a one bed flat near his old uni, signed a six month lease on it that day in my own name, and told him to live there while he gets a job and then take over the rent when he can. he was hurt and angry once i told him what his father had been doing, but he went.

my husband is now calling me unhinged, says i was separating the family and that ive taught our son to put a job over family, he also says it was a huge decision to rent a flat without running it past him, and that im a terrible mother.

i havent backed down. AITA?

i (M31) do woodworking on weekends. its turned into a small side income. mostly small furniture and gifts, sold through a couple of local stores and word of mouth. i have a workshop in my garage ive spent years setting up.

my sister in law and her husband have been staying with us for about six weeks while their kitchen renovation finishes. its been mostly fine. my brother in law (M34) is a friendly guy and weve gotten along fine the handful of times weve hung out before they moved in.

the issue is he keeps coming into the workshop and touching things i specifically told him not to touch.

first time was a chess set i was finishing for a customer. every piece was at the oil stage where a single fingerprint shows up in the final finish. i had told him before he came in not to handle anything on the back bench. he picked up the queen, said its beautiful, put it back down. i had to re-sand and re-oil the queen and one of the rooks hed also touched. half a day of work.

second time was a live edge cutting board i had just finished planing. he ran his hand along the rough side to feel the bark. skin oil in the grain took three rounds of sanding to lift out.

third time was last weekend. i was glueing up a panel for a console table. i had told him at breakfast that nothing in the workshop could be touched that day. he came in at the wrong moment and put his hand on the clamped panel to feel how warm the glue was. shifted the alignment about a millimetre. doesnt sound like much but on a panel that has to be flat the whole length, it was enough that i had to break the joint and redo it.

every time he says some version of i just wanted to feel what it was like, or it takes me back to my dads workshop when i was a kid. hes not malicious about it. he just cannot keep his hands off things.

today he came in while i was assembling a piece due tomorrow. he reached for a finished drawer front on the bench and i lost it. told him to get the fuck out of my workshop and stop touching things that arent his. yelled it. he put the drawer down and walked out.

i feel bad about how i said it. i do not feel bad that i said it. AITA?

My (24F) mother (60F) had a massive stroke last year. Her and my father (64M) got married August 15, 1982. My husband (25M) and I found out we were expecting a little bundle of joy last year and did not want a baby out of wedlock.

We spoke with our parents on both sides about the importance of us getting married were. As you can tell already my parents are on the older side, they told us they would be honored if we got married on their anniversary as it would be an amazing memory down the line. My husband and I decided to do so secretly and surprise them with the license the next day. They were so excited and happy for us beyond what words can describe.

Before we got married I was speaking with my friend (22F) about when we were getting married as I wanted her to be my maid-of-honor. Originally her and her now husband (25M) were supposed to get married February of 2027 and a few months prior to me speaking with her she had told me she was going to elope in August of 2025.

Obviously with all the chaos going on in my families day to day life it somewhat slipped my mind (they were eloping with no one knowing and going to still do a wedding in 2027). I had just been so excited I was talking to her and explaining the situation and that’s when things went south QUICK.

She proceeded to get overly mad at me and try to claim I am trying to beat her at all these life goals (have a baby first, get married first). That was not the case at all God just had a different plan for us. She began to post on social media talking about people backstabbing and trying to copy her. I tried to explain again the situation and that I am by no means trying to take her spot light (we are in different friend groups so it wouldn’t interfere with any of her guests).

My husband and I proceeded to get married on my parents anniversary and I literally hid it and didn’t post it as I knew she would get mad and I just wanted to enjoy this new step in life without the drama. Since she has always seemed to have a chip on her shoulder. It still messes with me months later at the fact this ruined our friendship.

So… AITAH for getting married when I did?