r/AITApod

So I (23m) been dating this girl (26F) for only 2 months, but I’ve known her for 6 months. We haven’t been intimate as we’re both wanting to take things slow. Well Last night, we were on the phone just casually talking, and she asked me what my body count was randomly. It’s 7 which isn’t the best but it isn’t that much. Hers was 66..SIXTY SIX! When she told me I was speechless and instantly felt disgusted. She noticed I was shocked and told me she’s 26 and I should have expected it but damn. I’ve been thinking and I’m kind of put off, I know I shouldn’t judge but I can’t stop thinking about this. Am I overreacting?

am i the asshole? so let me get this straight, i had this one friend we'll call her kyla (not her actual name) but anyways i knew things about her and she knew things about me, we were in class and me and her got in an argument, the teacher didnt do anything because they thought we would 'work it out', she ended up saying "at least i never got raped" loud enough for the whole class to hear which pissed me off beyond imagination, so i decided to say "at least my adoptive father doesnt abuse me" and then she started crying. she knows what happened in my past is very traumatizing to me so am i the asshole for bringing up her stuff?

edit: i forgot to mention this is not the first time she has done things like this, but im being honest its the first time i've made a comment like this towards her

I'm an easy going guy. I've worked in an office for just over a year and everyone knows I can joke and take a joke. I'm a large guy (currently working hard on losing weight) and I'm okay with people calling me fat in jest.

We just recently got a new guy in the office that came in on day 1 talking about his lazy-eye as being one of his best features. Of the 10 people, myself and this guy included, in our office, everyone except me makes constant friendly natured jokes about the lazy eye.

Only twice have I made a comment, and both times were during group conversations where someone had just made a joke about him as well. Both times though, this person singled me out telling me to shut up about his disability. So, to make sure I can keep my job, I never talk to him unless directed to do so I don't talk to him about anything, not even the weather.

The day he noticed and asked why I had changed, I told him the truth: that he seems to be fine with everyone but me saying anything about his eye. He even posted a "thank you" in a group text where someone had made a comic book cover calling him the "LazyEyed Loon."

I told him I didn't appreciate being singled out as the only one in the entire office not allowed to contribute to the friendly ribbing. But if that's the way he wanted to play it, that was fine. I ended the conversation by telling him we weren't there to be friends but to do a job, and that's all I would ever do with him.

My brother gave me an espresso machine for my birthday. Not like a tiny cheap one, it was a good one that he said he never used anyway because he mostly buys coffee outside. I was pretty excited because I’ve been wanting one.

He told me it had just been sitting boxed up in their storage closet since they moved apartments, so I didn’t think anything weird of it.

A week later he and his girlfriend came over for dinner. We were all in the kitchen after eating and she noticed it on my counter. She got quiet and asked if that was their espresso machine. I said yeah, my brother gave it to me for my birthday. She said she had bought it for their apartment and it wasn’t his to give away.

I looked at my brother and he immediately got awkward. Later I texted him asking if he actually owned it. He said it was complicated, but she barely used it and he thought she wouldn’t care. Then he asked if I could just give it back so he didn’t have to deal with the fight.

I said no, because now I’m involved in something I didn’t ask to be involved in, and if he gave away something that wasn’t his, he needs to replace it for her. He said I’m making his relationship worse over a coffee machine and that family should be more understanding.

His girlfriend also messaged me saying she doesn’t blame me but she wants it back. I feel bad for her, but I also feel like returning it just lets him make this my problem.

AITA for keeping the gift?

I (28F) made dinner plans with four friends almost two weeks ago. We all agreed on 7:00 pm because one person had to work late and that was the only time everyone said they could make it. I booked the reservation and that was supposed to be it.

The day of the dinner, I was getting ready when I noticed I had a bunch of unread messages in the group chat. While I was busy at work, everyone had decided they wanted to push dinner back to 9:00 because someone wanted to grab drinks first and another person wasn't ready yet. Nobody tagged me or asked if that worked for me, they just started talking like the new plan was official. By the time I saw the messages, they were already saying see you guys at 9. I had already planned my evening around the original time, and staying out that late meant I wouldn't get home until close to midnight on a work night.

So I sent a message saying I wasn't coming anymore and told them to enjoy dinner. A couple of them got annoyed and said I was making a big deal out of a simple time change and could've just adjusted. My point was that if you're changing plans everyone already agreed to, shouldn't you at least check with the person who made the reservation before deciding for them?

Now one friend is saying I was being inflexible and another says I should've just met them later because it wasn't worth missing the night over two hours. I don't know, it just rubbed me the wrong way that everyone made the decision without me and expected me to go along with it. AITAH?

I’m passionate for animals, to a whole different level. Been foster rehabbing aggressive dog adoption rejects for 15 years. Volunteered training 3 service dogs for the VA. And took a break from my career to work for minimum wage at an African safari, working with aggressive wildlife, for six months. I’m this level of passionate.

When one of my pets is sick or dies, I get beyond emotional. 42m, I’ve survived war and 20 years in uniforms… but will fall completely apart over an animal.

Last week, my eleven year old Great Pyrenees died. I don’t want to talk about it, but since he went everywhere with me, going anywhere will trigger the questions. I recognize it’s unavoidable, and accept that.

My problem comes in that people won’t listen. They ask, and I say “He died a few days ago, it was just old age. I don’t want to talk about it at all.” Then either they ask questions, try to talk about it, or give me the old “well if you want to talk, I’m here”.

I’m getting flat out angry at this point. My saying I don’t want to talk about it, shouldn’t trigger people to offer to talk about it. Or ask questions. Or blow right through my boundary and talk anyway. I don’t want the comments, and flat out say it. I don’t appreciate them. I’m not grateful. I know the intent is there, I just don’t want to talk about it… and I want my saying that to be respected.

AITAH here? Is there really such a problem with wanting to grieve the way that -I- need?

I (31M) have been with my wife (35F) almost 7 years, married for several, and we're raising two kids together.

I'm a transgender man (FTM). From the start, my wife's mom has never accepted me because of it. As a result, I'm regularly excluded from holidays, birthdays, family dinners, and other gatherings. My wife and our kids are invited, but I'm expected to stay home.

What hurts most isn't even her mom anymore—it's my wife. She might mention that I'd like to come, but if her mom says no, that's the end of it. She still takes the kids and goes. She's never said, "If my husband isn't welcome, neither are we."

Even our kids have said they wish I could come too.

For context, my mom passed away, and I don't have family where I live. I hoped that when I got married, I'd finally have a family again. Instead, I feel constantly reminded that I'll never truly be part of theirs.

Now it's happening again for the Fourth of July. My wife's sister is visiting, and her mom invited my wife and the kids over, but not me. The excuse this time is that her boyfriend either will be there or might stop by, and apparently he also has a problem with me being transgender.

At that point, I walked away and told my wife I didn't want to hear about another family event I'm not welcome at.

I understand no one has to invite me into their home. This isn't about forcing myself into someone's house. It's about my wife continuing to attend gatherings hosted by people who openly exclude me for who I am.

If my family refused to invite my wife because of her race, religion, sexuality, or any other part of who she is, I wouldn't keep showing up. I'd stand by my spouse.

So, AITA for walking away and feeling hurt? Should my wife be setting boundaries, or am I expecting too much? What would you do?

A year or two ago I used to be friends with this one guy, I (16M) Knew him(16M) since we were young kids.

Now I don't mind if someone vents to me but I do feel like it was draining my mental health as well. He randomly stopped talking to me only if it was for him to vent. I told him that I wasn't comfortable with him constantly venting to me because it was draining me too.

He didn't care and would guilt trip me into listening. I told my other friends about it and asked them what to do and they were all saying to drop him. I didn't want to do that because he was depressed and I didn't want to be the reason why he would commit suicide.

So It went on for a couple more months and I kept trying to tell him that I was drained due to all of the times he vented to me when I told him I wasn't comfortable with it. He called me selfish and cruel for not wanting to be vented to. And the day I dropped him he would spam my phone cursing me out.

I still feel bad about it often and I wonder if I am the asshole.

I (20M) have a friend (21M) who loves embarrassing people for laughs. He constantly roasts everyone and acts like it’s harmless banter, but he targets me a lot.

Over the last year he’s made jokes about my appearance, my dating life, and private stuff I told him in confidence. I’ve told him multiple times that I don’t like it, but he always says I’m too sensitive and need to toughen up.

Last week we went out with friends and he took it way too far. He brought up something really personal in front of everyone and the whole table laughed. I felt humiliated.

I decided I’d had enough.

This weekend he had people over at his house. While he was distracted, I got into his room and found a box under his bed with letters, photos, and gifts from his ex. I knew about it because he told me he kept everything because he wasn’t fully over the breakup.

I took the box.
The next day I burned most of it in my garden and sent him a photo of the ashes with the caption, “Time to move on.”

I thought he’d be angry, sure, but also maybe finally understand what it feels like to have something personal used against you.
Instead he completely lost it.

Apparently some of the stuff in there was irreplaceable polaroids, handwritten letters, and even a necklace from his late grandmother that his ex used to wear. I genuinely didn’t know that was in there.

Now he’s telling everyone I’m psychotic and demanding I pay him back, but I don’t even know how you put a price on sentimental stuff.

Some friends think what I did was unforgivable. Others think he pushed me to breaking point and had it coming.

I know it sounds bad, but part of me feels like if he hadn’t spent years humiliating me, none of this would’ve happened.

AITA?

I (19M) went to one of my best friend’s (20F) birthday party the other night. We will call her Lily. There were 7 people there, all the same ages. One of whom, I had slept with multiple times before and was somewhat of friends with benefits with her. We will call the girl I slept with Amy (19F). The last person of importance to factor in is my best friend (20M), whose back acres we are doing this at. We will call him Jake.

It was a camping birthday party in Jake’s back acreage. Me, Jake, Lily, and Amy have all done camping 3 or 4 times before, every time me and Amy had slept together in my tent. There were 4 other tents around us, and me and Amy did nothing during the night after we all went to bed. Early in the morning when me and Amy woke up, we ended up having sex. It didn’t last long, maybe 10ish minutes, and NOBODY heard us. The birthday girl, Lily, ended up going up to Jake’s house with him right before bed, since she had a little too much to drink.

About an hour after me and Amy did it, myself and Amy came out of our tent and Jake was just getting back down to the back acreage. Jake make a joke asking if we did anything. Amy told him that we did, because us four share everything with just eachother, nobody else. We are all open books between us four. Keep that in mind.

Amy and Myself had to leave early since we both had work. We left and the others, Jake, Lily, and 3 others, went out and got breakfast at a local restaurant. Apparently, at the end of their breakfast, Jake blurted out that me and Amy did it in our tent last night. I was so confused to hear that because there is no way that you just randomly blurt that out to 3 others that myself and Amy barely know. Lily was shocked, and another girl that spent the night said that it is crazy that we did stuff because she didn’t even know, and her tent was five feet away from ours. (The other two tents were a good 30-50 feet away)

Fast forward to now, Lily refuses to talk to me or Amy because she said that we were being selfish. And that it was disrespectful to do that on her birthday night. But she didn’t know and nor did anybody else. She wasn’t down there. And once again, NOBODY KNEW.

So AITAH

She teaches at my school (not my teacher). I developed a crush on her during a rough phase in my life. After a fight, we didn’t speak for a few months, but we became very close when her boyfriend married someone else. She started sharing deeply personal secrets with me, and I became her emotional support.

A few months later, she got back together with him even though he was cheating on his wife with her. From then on, she hid our friendship—asking me not to text, deleting my messages, and even deleting my number whenever they were together.

She once tried to end our friendship the night before my chemistry exam, then apologized the next day and we continued talking. Despite several fights where both of us were at fault, we always ended up reconnecting.

Recently, she again texted that she was deleting my number because she’d be with her boyfriend all day. That made me realize how unhealthy the situation had become. I was tired of being a secret and carrying her emotional baggage, so I deleted her number too. We haven’t spoken since.

AITA for ending the friendship? She was genuinely caring, encouraged my studies, and always treated me kindly, but I felt the friendship was no longer good for me.

I (29M) made plans with five friends for dinner last Friday. We picked the restaurant earlier in the week, agreed on 7:00 pm, and everyone confirmed that morning. I got there a little early because parking around that area is usually terrible, so I grabbed the table and ordered a drink while I waited.

By 7:20 nobody had shown up. I texted the group asking if everyone was still coming. No response, spent another 30 min just scrolling on myprize and one person finally replied saying they were "running a little behind' that was it. No ETA, no explanation. I waited another 20 minutes, ordered an appetizer because I was starving, and still nothing. At that point I paid for my food, left the restaurant, and went home. What bothered me was sitting there for an hour and a half with almost no communication, wondering if I had somehow gotten the time wrong.

About 20 minutes after I got home, my phone started blowing up. Apparently everyone had arrived around 8:30 and was annoyed that I had left. They said I should have just waited because they were all together and assumed I knew they were coming. I told them I would've stayed if literally anyone had kept me updated, but sitting alone in a restaurant for 90 minutes with almost no communication felt disrespectful. Now a couple of them are saying I overreacted and made the night awkward for everyone. Am I the asshole for leaving instead of waiting even longer?

Yesterday I visited my dad and step mom. They like to sit outside in the summer. The high was 82 degrees Fahrenheit. I am disabled and cannot tolerate heat well at all. I dressed lightly, brought a fan, had multiple cold waters.

Eventually I started to feel delirious, and my neurological condition started flaring as I was struggling to walk and use stairs. They told me its cooler inside because the ceiling fan is on, and they refuse to turn on the AC because the grandkids run in and out of the house and would waste the cold air.

I head inside and lay on their couch, its just as hot inside. More symptoms of heat stroke appeared. Im trying to hang in there until dinner is ready, as I dont want to be rude and leave before eating since they spent the money on enough food for all of us. My dad walks in and says "its cooler in here right?" I say "Not really." We eat. I start slurring my words. We leave as soon as we are done eating.

Im feeling really sad and angry that they didn't turn on their ac for me, knowing my health is what it is and watching me struggle. I felt like I shouldn't need to ask. You see your daughter suffering and you have the means to help, but refuse for selfish reasons. Is it their house their rules? Am I the asshole to ask them to turn on their AC for me before I come over?

i had put in for a week off months in advance. approved and everything. i was on day three of a camping trip with my buddies. we're out in the middle of nowhere at a lake, no cell service for most of it but i had a small pocket of signal at the campsite.

i get a text from my manager saying there's a mandatory team meeting in 20 minutes and everyone has to attend no exceptions. i text back and say i'm on approved vacation. she replies with a screenshot of some policy about mandatory training and says if i don't attend it'll be marked as a no show and flagged on my record.

cool. fine. whatever.

so i connect from my phone using the tiny bit of signal i have. camera off mic off just sitting there. five minutes in she calls me out by name and says cameras need to be on for attendance verification. says if my camera isn't on she can't confirm i was there.

alright then.

i flip my camera on. i'm sitting in a camping chair shirtless, sunburned, beer in hand, lake in the background. one of my buddies walks behind me carrying a cooler and yells something i can't repeat here. the whole meeting goes silent.
my manager stutters and says maybe we can make an exception for today. i said no no you said cameras on for verification so here i am. verified.

she moved on real quick. the rest of the team was dying in the chat. one guy messaged me privately saying that was the greatest thing he'd ever seen on a work call.

never got scheduled for a meeting on my days off again. put in my two weeks about a month later anyway.

AITA?

I had vaguely interacted with this girl in HS to let her know some guy was saying they were dating when they obviously weren't. After a while she unfollowed me and removed me on Instagram and I just unfollowed her. Fast forward to University and we go to the same university. I saw another post saying awful things about her and I decided to let her know. (I generally tell people if I hear someone telling groups of people awful/false things) She said thank you and we had a couple of other interactions. Anyways, I heard her talking bad abt someone and I decided to unfollow her. I went to class afterwards but by the time I left class she had sent me a paragraph about how she's never going to be nice to someone like me and that she's not a fan. I told her I didnt realize how much of a b**** she was. Tbh it was all I could think. We argued and then i blocked her. Her friends started messaging me and saying similar stuff so I blocked them too. She emailed me through my school email threatening to sue me for defamation? Even though she's the one who had people message me? Is unfollowing without removing someone really this serious? AITA for unfollowing without removing?

My dad has been coaching youth football at our local league for almost 18 years now. Hes given up weekends and holidays and never asked for a single thing in return. At 20 years the league gives coaches this lifetime recognition thing where your fees are waived and you basically get honorary status and its a huge deal to the guys who have been there that long.

A year ago the league brought in a new coordinator and almost immediately he started going after the older coaches. My dad started getting written up for stuff that made zero sense like apparently his practice plans werent submitted on time and his first aid cert was expired even though he literally renewed it two months before.

My dad kept his head down and just fixed whatever they threw at him but I could tell it was wearing him out. He told me a few of the other coaches whod been around 15 plus years were getting the same treatment and two of them already quit because they didnt want the headache.

I did something that maybe I shouldnt have and I went through the leagues own records that are posted online for anyone to see. Turns out the coordinator himself had missed submission deadlines at least four times in one year and his own certifications had lapsed twice before he even got the position. I printed all of it out and gave it to my dad.

My dad brought it to the next board meeting and basically said if youre gonna write me up for these things then you need to explain why the coordinator gets a pass on the exact same stuff. The room went dead quiet and the coordinator tried to talk his way out of it but it was all right there on paper.

My dad kept his spot and hes still coaching but now a few people in the league are saying I made it personal and went too far digging into the coordinators records. My dad says I did the right thing but part of me wonders if I shouldve just let him handle it his own way instead of getting involved like that. AITA?

Last year somewhere around Christmas I think my best friend (we’ll call her Jane) and my guy friend (we’ll call him Frank) started dating. Me and my ex kind of egged them on to be together bc they both kind of liked eachother.

February me and my ex broke up and then a week or two they broke up. Jane was devastated and would come to me even though I was going through the worst. Me and ex were together for 3.5 year and they were only together for a few months. To this day she still is obsessing over him and won’t leave him alone. She keeps calling him asking him to come over, checks his location and when she sees he’s not at home she freaks out.

He was at his friends house last night who just so happens to be a girl and she freaked out even though it was just a grad party. She acts like they’re still dating. I can’t be fully mad at her bc he does play with her feelings like they’ll send spicy pics to each other and dirty talk every now and then but he doesn’t show interest in her unless it’s 12:30 at night.

I can’t take it anymore. Every sentence is about him. I had a pretty traumatic break up with my ex like cheating was involved and lying as well and I feel like she tries to fit her experience into mine even though none of those things happened to her.

I cant name a time she even tried to care for me when I went through that but I’ve been there for her many times with this. Me, her mom, and her sister were talking and think the same thing. It’s time to move on and she won’t accept that.

i signed up for this gym that does personal training sessions. not cheap either. you book online and they have a strict cancellation policy. if you cancel within 24 hours you still get charged. fair enough.

i booked a session for saturday morning because i had a specific goal i was working toward and my trainer only had one slot left that week. i get stuck in traffic because there's an accident on the highway and i walk through the door two minutes past my session time. two minutes.

the girl at the front desk tells me my session has been automatically cancelled because their system cancels any booking if you're not checked in within two minutes of your start time. and yes i still get charged the full amount.

i ask if my trainer is available. she checks and says actually yes he's free right now because my session was the only one he had for the next hour. i ask if i can just go in then. she says no because the booking has been cancelled in the system and they can't process a walk in without a booking.

my trainer is literally standing ten feet away with nothing to do for the next hour and i can't see him because a computer said no.

i sit down in the lobby trying to figure this out. while i'm sitting there another member walks in early for her session. checks in no problem. goes straight in. her session isn't for another 25 minutes but the system let her check in early without any issues.

i ask the front desk if there's a rule against checking in early. she says no you can check in as early as you want as long as you have an active booking in the system.

so i pull out my phone. open the app. book the next available session with my trainer which happens to be monday morning. walk back up to the desk and say hi i have a booking for monday morning and i'd like to check in early. about 47 hours early.

she stared at me for ten seconds. looked at her screen. looked back at me. called her manager over. the manager read the policy twice and couldn't find anything that said you can't check in early. my trainer was already warming up the room.

i was in and out within 40 minutes. they updated the policy the following week. AITA?