u/WillingFriendship838

I got married in May. Small wedding, 40 people, we paid for all of it ourselves and it took us about 2 years to save for it.

My dad's side of the family didn't come. Not one of them. They all said yes on the RSVP, 9 of them, and then in the 3 weeks before the wedding they dropped out one at a time with various reasons. We had already paid per head for the food. It cost us around 900 dollars for chairs and meals that sat there empty.

I know at least part of it was because my dad's new wife wasn't invited, which was a decision my mom and I made together and which I still stand by.

Anyway. Last month my aunt started talking about doing a "celebration" at my grandmother's house in September so that everyone who missed the wedding could see us and give us their gifts. She's already picked a date. She asked me to send her our registry link again because a few people never got round to it.

I said no. I said I wasn't doing a second version of a day they chose not to come to, and that they were all welcome to visit us any time as normal.

Now I'm apparently punishing my grandmother, who is 88 and did want to come but couldn't travel alone, and who nobody offered to bring.

That last part has genuinely been bothering me. She's the one person in that whole group with an actual reason.

AITA?

Heads up for anyone hitting open enrollment in the next few weeks, because this nearly took me out last month and I've not seen it mentioned here once.

Both of my jobs use the same insurance carrier. Not the same broker, the actual same carrier, which I had no idea about until my wife got a letter at our home address asking us to confirm which policy was primary. She was showing up as a dependent on two active plans under one member file.

The letter didn't name either employer (small mercy) but it did list both group numbers side by side, and if that had gone to an HR address instead of our house, or if she'd had it forwarded to her own office like she does with half our post, that would have been the end of the whole thing.

I rang the carrier and said we'd enrolled twice in error and could they void the second one, and the woman on the phone said "no problem, happens all the time with spouses." It does not, in fact, happen all the time with spouses.

Go and check the carrier name on both benefits portals BEFORE you click through enrollment. Not the plan name, the carrier. It takes about thirty seconds and it is not the same thing.

My husband and I agreed before our daughter was born that we didn't want her on social media. No photos posted anywhere, period. We told both sets of parents. My parents were fine with it. His mom said she understood but clearly she did not.

First few months she kept posting pictures on her own facebook. We asked her to take them down. She did, complained about it, but took them down. Then she posted again a few weeks later. We asked again. This went back and forth like 4 or 5 times.

Last week a coworker sent me a link to an instagram account. Its called something like ""[baby's first name]_adventures"" and it has over 60 photos of our daughter on it. Pictures from when MIL babysits, pictures from visits at our house, and some that she clearly screenshotted off my private instagram. Like she's going through my posts and saving them to repost on this account. What the hell.

The bio says something about proud grandma sharing the baby's journey. She has like 200 followers on it. I had no idea this existed until my coworker recognized our daughter and sent me the link.

I showed my husband and he called his mom immediately. She said she ""needed an outlet"" to share photos because we're being unreasonable about social media. She said its her granddaughter too and she should be able to share her. My husband told her to delete the account. She said she would think about it. That was 4 days ago and its still up.

I reported it to instagram but nothing has happened. My SIL thinks we need to pick our battles and that MIL just loves the baby. My husband wants to go NC until the account is deleted but is worried about his whole family turning on us.

I honestly don't know what else to do at this point. We keep saying no and she keeps doing it anyway. What would you guys do