u/Famous-Ambassador822

My spouse (55) seems to have experienced permanent changes to her personality - snippy, often rude, cuts me off mid-sentence, constantly irritated - and when I calmly (sometimes not so calmly) express frustration she doesn’t seem to even be aware that she was being truly bitchy. Her RBF is permanent.

I notice when she smiles or laughs because it’s so infrequent these days. I often avoid contact with her at all. And I’ve noticed our grown kids and friends seem to be more distant these days. I usually get the worst of it. She’s like a grumpy old person walking around pushing our former life further and further away and has no idea her constant negativity is having this effect. Does this go away eventually?

Curious to hear from others that have experienced their partner choosing to stop work and physically slow down before originally planned?

My wife (55) prematurely stopped working a year ago. I supported the decision. Her job sucked - high stress, long hours. She wanted to explore “second career paths.” The problem is she hasn’t found anything. Doesn’t appear to be trying all that hard. Basically sits around most of the time while I continue working FT to pay all the bills and fund retirement - which I am pushing back for myself. Partly to make up the gap but also to get away from the situation when I need a break.

I couldn’t care less if she finds a paying job. Just a reason to get up every day and maybe make some new friends. I have always earned more and I’m fine with that - but I can see that sitting around home is making her age quickly. She’s younger than me and now acts much older.

Her physical and mental health is declining rapidly. Arguments are increasing. We used to be close and affectionate. Not so much lately. She blames menopause and not the daily drinking habit that she has developed over the last 5 years. The drinking cannot be helping the situation?

I am growing both concerned and a bit resentful. Has anyone else experienced this at such a late age?