u/Far-Ad-9404

(reposting my post from r/longdistance)

For a while like especially after I stopped going to school I honestly haven’t had much of a life irl

My gf and I started dating february of 2025. When I say I have no life I truly mean it, I’m not in school at haven’t been since like 2023, still don’t have a job( have been searching for over a year). I also live with my mom so really the only time I go out is if I have something important like a doctor’s appointment and my literal only source of funds is essentially allowance from my mother.Which she’s fine with I guess, She’s my mom and she loves me but I hate it I feel childish and like a burden. But, not really the point. My gf and I are in a cross country long distance. I’ve done long distance before. talked to someone in another country PR (sure on paper it’s a “State” i don’t consider it that). They were a bit closer so saving to see them was much easier but. They broke up with me like right before I was gonna surprise them and tell them I’m coming to see them in a few months lol. And had a brief talking stage with someone that’s like an hour away(not really long distance ig), it was a tinder match so the reason it didn’t work is obvious from that lol.

Currently tho, things are sorta changing a lot for me In a good way so i’m like.. kinda having a “life”.Even my mental health is more well managed so it doesn’t feel like a chore anymore. I live in a major city so sometimes the only way to really get your foot in the door is via networking and connections 😕even if it’s working at a cafe. These past two weeks have been really busy with a class through said connections and chances have been much better even had an interview yesterday.

It’s really time consuming for me since I don’t live in the major downtown area, so I commute depending on where I go it could take like, maybe two hours. I also have been taking some steps for my health as I am very very overweight and working to lose it which, includes working out. I haven’t much because of possible lung disorders post covid years ago that Im getting tests for, that and a bunch of other shit lol.

Point is I really want to work out more even if it’s at home. And I want a job, and friends, and hobbies. But again thats time Im spending offline, away from my phone usually. And honestly maybe its also the undiagnosed adhd also on my list of many test, but man when I get home. Im tired, sometimes I kinda don’t want to text or call really anyone. I want to shower and eat dinner and sit in silence until it’s time for bed. That’s not really ig, doable I feel like doing long distance maybe? I don’t know i’m struggling with it. Especially when I want money to do both things I haven’t been able to do, and also saving to see her/for her to come visit and i’m not in school at the moment so to employers I am technically available for full time hours. I kind of also really want to move out 😭I’ll probably end up being a roommate which is fine just one of the many things I want to change

I talked to my gf about it briefly and apologized bc she’s also going through some stuff at home and, It was inconsiderate of me to not really respond in a timely manner everyday. But really it’s not bc I don’t want to I just have like, a daily burn out or something.

Anyways. All that to say I would appreciate if anyone could give me some advice on managing your changing personal life and a long distance relationship. Honestly even if it’s just advice about managing a changing personal life is useful lol. I might edit or, comment if I missed something or, didn’t really explain something I wanted to.

thanks If you do read this :)

For a while like especially after I stopped going to school I honestly haven’t had much of a life irl

My gf and I started dating february of 2025. When I say I have no life I truly mean it, I’m not in school at haven’t been since like 2023, still don’t have a job( have been searching for over a year). I also live with my mom so really the only time I go out is if I have something important like a doctor’s appointment and my literal only source of funds is essentially allowance from my mother.Which she’s fine with I guess, She’s my mom and she loves me but I hate it I feel childish and like a burden. But, not really the point. My gf and I are in a cross country long distance. I’ve done long distance before. talked to someone in another country PR (sure on paper it’s a “State” i don’t consider it that). They were a bit closer so saving to see them was much easier but. They broke up with me like right before I was gonna surprise them and tell them I’m coming to see them in a few months lol. And had a brief talking stage with someone that’s like an hour away(not really long distance ig), it was a tinder match so the reason it didn’t work is obvious from that lol.

Currently tho, things are sorta changing a lot for me In a good way so i’m like.. kinda having a “life”.Even my mental health is more well managed so it doesn’t feel like a chore anymore. I live in a major city so sometimes the only way to really get your foot in the door is via networking and connections 😕even if it’s working at a cafe. These past two weeks have been really busy with a class through said connections and chances have been much better even had an interview yesterday.

It’s really time consuming for me since I don’t live in the major downtown area, so I commute depending on where I go it could take like, maybe two hours. I also have been taking some steps for my health as I am very very overweight and working to lose it which, includes working out. I haven’t much because of possible lung disorders post covid years ago that Im getting tests for, that and a bunch of other shit lol.

Point is I really want to work out more even if it’s at home. And I want a job, and friends, and hobbies. But again thats time Im spending offline, away from my phone usually. And honestly maybe its also the undiagnosed adhd also on my list of many test, but man when I get home. Im tired, sometimes I kinda don’t want to text or call really anyone. I want to shower and eat dinner and sit in silence until it’s time for bed. That’s not really ig, doable I feel like doing long distance maybe? I don’t know i’m struggling with it. Especially when I want money to do both things I haven’t been able to do, and also saving to see her/for her to come visit and i’m not in school at the moment so to employers I am technically available for full time hours. I kind of also really want to move out 😭I’ll probably end up being a roommate which is fine just one of the many things I want to change

I talked to my gf about it briefly and apologized bc she’s also going through some stuff at home and, It was inconsiderate of me to not really respond in a timely manner everyday. But really it’s not bc I don’t want to I just have like, a daily burn out or something.

Anyways. All that to say I would appreciate if anyone could give me some advice on managing your changing personal life and a long distance relationship. Honestly even if it’s just advice about managing a changing personal life is useful lol. I might edit or, comment if I missed something or, didn’t really explain something I wanted to.

thanks If you do read this :)

On day one of my period 💔 I wonder if there’s a way to weigh your abdomen prior to and after to passing a shit ton of blood/clots. It was so fucking bad yesterday i genuinely looked pregnant and walking was hell. Passed it this morning and somehow my legs work. for now at least can’t wait for them to stop again and i have to pass out. oh that and since it’s officially day one I can not fucking eat anything and constantly feel like i have to vomit. Yesterday was mostly spotting so I was able to eat a subway sandwich… eventually.My nutritionist and I talked about basically having a smoothie diet on my period lol so, wish me luck. Wish I wasn’t out of my trusty cranberry juice either💔.

side note: happy mothers day to any mothers who my read this! hope you have a beautiful day :)

For the love of god. If you have never taken public transit in your life or just the cta specifically don’t start the day you have a sports game to go to at least not without coming into the city with like at least one practice run so you’re not frantically trying to figure out where to go on your phone. WHICH you don’t need to do just walk a few steps and THERE ARE MAPS. WHYYYY in the world would you stand directly in front of stairs as a group of like 20+ bro you’re lucky I didn’t kick one of your scrawny ass kids down the stairs please get it together.

edit: i take the 95th red line to go HOME from most places. So let’s use our context clues on if I would actually be complaining about this if I was actually someone who lives in the suburbs or whatever the first gentrified part of Chicago you can think of is.The people I’m complaining about are literally the fucking suburbians dude😭😭😭. God forbid a girl complain about obnoxious entitled white people once in a while.

another edit: I feel a possible surge of “well what about this thing” comments coming so let me just say in advance if they do happen. yes whatever you’re about to think of is less obnoxious and more tolerable than even breathing the same piss filled underground station air as cubs fans, including said piss air.