My older brother, is getting married next spring to his fiancée. When they first got engaged a year ago, they announced the wedding would be local. About a two-hour drive from our hometown. Because of this, I happily agreed to be the maid of honor and chipped in for a few upfront planning costs, including a deposit for the rehearsal dinner venue.

Three months ago, Liam and Chloe completely pivoted and decided to change it to a luxury destination wedding in a specific Caribbean island nation. While it sounds dreamy for them, it's a logistical nightmare for me. Due to a complex, ongoing legal passport/citizenship documentation issue stemming from some paperwork errors made by my parents when I was a minor (which we are slowly trying to untangle with immigration lawyers), I currently cannot legally leave my home country or obtain a passport renewal.

I sat Liam and Chloe down privately, explained the situation with my legal documents, apologized profusely, and told them I wouldn't be able to make the trip. I offered to step down as maid of honor so Chloe could have someone physically there, and suggested throwing them a local engagement party or helping with digital coordination from home.

Instead of being understanding, Liam got furious. He accused me of "stealing his spotlight," claimed I was making up excuses because I was secretly jealous of Chloe, and said my passport issue was "conveniently timed" to ruin his big day.

To make matters worse, because I'm no longer attending, Liam is demanding that I still pay the remaining balance on the rehearsal dinner venue deposit that we originally agreed I’d sponsor for the local wedding. His logic is that "a promise is a promise," and my legal problems are my own fault for not fixing them faster.

I told him I am not spending hundreds of dollars on a party for a wedding I'm not even allowed to attend, especially when the entire event was uprooted against the original plan. Now our entire family is blowing up my phone. My mom says I should just "suck it up and pay the deposit to keep the peace," while my dad thinks Liam is being unreasonable.

I'm standing my ground, but the guilt-tripping is getting exhausting. So, am I the asshole?

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/Loud_Quarter_9778

Published on: r/whatdoIdo

Trigger Warning: >!Child Sexual Assault!<

Story is: ONGOING

Story timeline

• Main Post: September 09, 2026

• Update 1: September 13, 2026

• Update 2: September 15, 2026

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Main Post

^(September 09, 2026)

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I (38m) found out my wife (42f) had a threesome with my sister years ago. It has ruined any physical attraction I have towards my wife.

I don’t think I need to explain why this is a throwaway account.

I met my wife when I was 19. She needed her car fixing and my sister gave her my number and I fixed it for her and as a thank you she asked me if I wanted to go out for a drink. I ended up spending three nights at her house and then pretty much never left. I love my wife a lot and have never so much as looked at another woman. She told me she has a crazy time at uni and slept with loads of people but it never bothered me I’m not the jealous type and some of her stories were pretty hot.

About a month ago we went to a bbq that was hosted by someone she went to uni with. It was a bit of a reunion as someone from their friend group died a few months ago and they are making more of an effort to get together. Important detail my wife kept her name when we got married as she’s quite well known in her industry and didn’t want to miss any opportunities due to a name change. When I introduced myself to someone he gave his surname and it’s the same as mine. When I mentioned it he said “do you know teresa?” I said yes she’s my sister then he turned to my wife and said “wow Izzy have you fucked the mum and dad as well?”

My wife went bright red and walked away. I tried to follow her but she told me to leave her alone so I did but I wanted answers. In the car on the way home I brought it up and she wouldn’t answer. This went on for two days before she finally told me. At uni her and my sister were close and they had a few threesomes together. I knew my wife had participated in threesomes and moresomes at uni and I didn’t care but this is different.

Me and my sister don’t get on. Since she left home we’ve never once messaged or called each other just catch up. I only see her at family events and even then we don’t really talk. She isn’t a nice person at all and she falls out with everyone she is near. I knew her and my wife fell out over my sister bitching about my wife behind her back.

It’s been weeks now and I can’t even bring myself to kiss my wife. She’s done nothing wrong and I know this is a me problem but I don’t know how to get past it.

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COMMENTS

FederalSuspect69 (downvoted) > Average Midwestern marriage > > OOP >> Not even American

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Bluemicha > Yeah that’s pretty gross. I get it. With her being so open with you I am surprised she never shared that detail. Hopefully it will get better for you two. > > OOP >> I get why she didn’t tell me but I still wish I’d never found out.

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Solid-Nebula (downvoted) > Maybe..just maybe..you always wanted to get involved with them.. > > OOP >> My wife has offered me a threesome in the past and I said no. I don’t want to touch anyone other than my wife.

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Sujnirah > I wouldn’t say this is a you problem…having slept with someone’s siblings isn’t something you keep to yourself when you’re planning to marry them. > > I think this was selfish on her part and now you are left with a mess you don’t know how to deal with. > > OOP >> When I told a couple of friends they didn’t seem to understand what the big deal was it’s something that happened over 20 years ago which made me feel like I was being dramatic. >> >> onism- >>> 20 years ago for them but this is fresh for you >>> >>> OOP >>>> Agreed. It’s been barely 20 days since I found out.

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mrfarenheit1214 > Would it be the same consensus if we change the gender of the sister, what if it was a brother. > > OOP >> That’s what I said to my friends and they just said “it’s different”

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Update 1 - after 4 days

^(September 13, 2026)

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UPDATE I (38m) found out my wife (42f) had a threesome with my sister years ago. It has ruined any physical attraction I have for my wife.

Just want to make this clear to all the religious and misogynistic people who commented on my last post, if you are intimidated by a woman who enjoys sex thats on you.

Also my wife did say if she found out I slept with one of her siblings she’d leave so she does understand where I am coming from.

The people who said it’s different to her sleeping with my brother can you explain why please?

On to the update. I still can’t bring myself to kiss her or touch her. We’ve talked and cried and agreed to go to counselling together and me individually. We are going on holiday in February we are going to give it until then and if there isn’t any improvement we will call it a day. I’m trying to be positive but let’s see.

Thank you to everyone who took the time to comment and message.

Edit: for the people who can’t read I don’t get on with my sister and never have done and I’m not going to go in to why. For the people who have messaged me accusing me of abusing my sister when we were younger she was 5 years older than me. Think about it.

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COMMENTS

Parking-Gate6161 > Yea the way you view her now probably wont change. Its probably better to go separate ways. Im curious why the wife didn't tell you she slept with your sister once she knew you was related to her > > OOP >> We met through my sister so she’s known from the start.

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absoluteunitofspite > She definitely should have disclosed that before entering a relationship with you, that’s so insane. That’s the part I think would bother me most, the fact that she intentionally lied and kept it from me. > > OOP >> That is what bothers me. The act doesn’t it’s the hiding it.

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curatorthrowaway99 > Can you expand on why that bothers you so much? > Also, was that threesome before or after you met your now wife? > Has she explained why she didn't disclose it earlier? > > OOP >> It was before. I just don’t like the thought of touching someone a family member has. Even at school a girl who kissed my brother tried it on with me six months later and straight away it was a no. >> >> 0xPianist >>> Yes OP. Because if she had done that, you would be ok now. >>> >>> Basically this happened before you were a couple? Before you met? >>> >>> How is such a thing serious after 20 years of being together? >>> >>> How good is your relationship now? You’re better discussing this with a psychologist and likely couples counselling at the same time. >>> >>> OOP >>>> Because if she told me when we first started talking I’d have walked away.

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Fw0K > Why didn’t your sister tell you before you got married? > > OOP >> We’ve never got on. She didn’t even come to the wedding. >> >> wishingforarainyday >>> Cause you were marrying her ex! >>> >>> OOP >>>> No because we’ve never got on. We’ve never once text each other to chat or anything. I couldn’t tell you where she lives or what job she does or anything.

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Elephantry49 > Can I ask, if you don’t mind…. Was it like a full on threesome with touching or was it like one was with the guy for a bit whilst the other watched then they swapped? > > OOP >> My wife said they did everything and it wasn’t just one threesome it was multiple times.

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Oblisquo > So it was her sister and some guy? Idk I would let that slide tbh. 2 guys, hard no > > OOP >> It was my sister and some guy.

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Update 2 - after 6 days (after 2 days from last post)

^(September 15, 2026)

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UPDATE 2 I (38m) found out my wife (42f) had a threesome with my sister years ago. It has ruined any physical attraction I had towards her.

I was just going to edit my other update but I think this requires its own post.

Last night my wife came on to me and I rejected her. This obviously upset her and about three hours ago at 2am she left to go to her parents. I understand why. She said we will still go to our therapy sessions together if I want to and I do want to.

A bit more context about me and my sister but I’m not going in to detail. The problems started between us when I was 10 she was 15 and we were home alone and there was a webcam involved. It went on for about two years. I didn’t say this originally as I thought that being with someone’s sibling would be enough of a reason without having to go in to detail but it seems a lot of people would be ok with that. I ended up telling my wife about this a few years after we got together and thats the real reason they stopped talking as my sister has never apologised and had even joked about it on the couple of occasions I’ve tried to confront her.

That’s why I’m finding this new information hard. As I said I would have assumed that the sibling thing would have annoyed most people but apparently not.

As for the people saying things like my wife is for the streets etc grow up. If you were young and offered sex with multiple people you’d jump at it and you know you would. You don’t hate her because she’s had loads of sex you hate her because you haven’t.

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COMMENTS

totesnotJH > Do you have kids? What about property? Tbh this is pretty insane and disgusting. Life’s too short. If there are no kids involved just leave. You’re not old and have tons of time to find someone who doesn’t lie to you for two decades. > > OOP >> No kids and we own a house together that is now paid off. >> >> 10k_Uzi >>> Damn you have a paid off house? My grandparents bought their house in the 70s and it ain’t paid off lol. Well anyway. I think you’re financially stable enough to break it off with her. But I guess it depends how much it makes you upset. I usually take a don’t ask, don’t tell approach. But you’ve been told. No problem with her being bi. It’s just do you care you’re sibling hit once >>> >>> OOP >>>> We both work hard and saved hard so we could be mortgage free by 40.

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barleynrye > "The problems started between us when I was 10 she was 15 and we were home alone and there was a webcam involved. It went on for about two years."
> > What is that supposed to mean? > > OOP >> Use your brain. >> >> Dry-Clock-1470 >>> Use your words. Why the riddle. Don't make us ask questions because you think it's cute and edgy to be cryptic.
>>> >>> OOP >>>> You didn’t understand she sexually abused me and filmed it from that sentence?

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Known_Party6529 > Why didn't she tell you when you first got together? This is a lie by omission. > > OOP >> She says she knew I didn’t get on with my sister (she didn’t know why) and knows I would have left. >> >> Known_Party6529 >>> Are you going to stay? >>> >>> OOP >>>> I don’t know.

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wishingforarainyday > So your wife cut her off once she knew of your abuse? Has she genuinely apologized? Has she offered for you to go through her phone to verify she’s not hiding other things? > > I think what she did is cruel and I would end the relationship. But, if you want to find a way forward then I’m glad you’re in therapy together and I hope it helps. > > OOP >> Yes. Once she confirmed it with my sister who joked about it. No she hasn’t and I don’t need to I trust her that’s she’s not cheating or anything.

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Brief_Hippo5187 > Sorry you had to go through that as a kid. And that you're going through this now. Has your wife apologized?
> > OOP >> She has apologised profusely.

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loo_c_gu_c > Question to OP - And maybe, if I read through all post, I’d already know - If you had known this in the beginning of your relationship would you have called it quits? > > The sexual turn off makes sense to me as the disdain you have for your sister seems based on sexual trauma she caused when you were young. This all must be triggering for you. > > I’ve read you defending your wife’s sexual past and you come across as sexually mature, non judgmental, and open-minded. It’s obvious you deeply love your wife and accept her as she is. For these reasons I think your disgust comes from now being constantly reminded of your sister when sex is initiated. I did see you say when hearing her stories from uni you thought some were hot. It’s probably safe to say her sleeping with your sister multiple times would be your biggest turn off. > > Dealing with the sister trauma maybe necessary > > I wonder if you would have reacted differently if the “webcam” stuff not had happened years ago. > > OOP >> I would have called it quits at the start yes. I find it so difficult to be intimate with someone who has been intimate with my rapist. It’s breaking me. >> >> Voyayer2022-2025 >>> But did your wife know all this at the time? Seems your problem is with your sister not you wife who wasn’t dating you at that time. Are your parents still around? What’s that relationship like? >>> >>> OOP >>>> No she didn’t know at the time but she did know a couple of years in to our relationship and still didn’t tell me. My parents are around and don’t know.

&nbsp;

---

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

OOP: u/throwraw_FAFO

Published on: r/offmychest

Story is: CONCLUDED

Story timeline

• Main Post: March 05, 2023

• Final Update: April 14, 2023

---

Main Post

^(March 05, 2023)

---

My(26m) girlfriend(25f) decided she was going to go on a date with another guy.

I am so pissed off.

My girlfriend and I have been exclusively seeing each other for about 2 years. We agreed on both being monogamous(she begged me for the relationship and exclusivity). She moved in with me about 6 months ago and she is not on the lease.

Yesterday I came home from work and sat down on our couch. I notices she was getting ready to go somewhere. So I asked her what she was up to. She said she was going on a date.

I was like cool she planned a date night.

She finishes getting ready and starts to leave. I stand up and start to go with her. She turns around and gives me a look of WTF do you think you're doing

I asked her if she wanted me to change.

She said no.

I asked why she was giving me a look.

She said that SHE was going on a date.

I asked yeah where are WE going?

She said WE aren't going anywhere I (major emphasis) am going on a date.

I said okay. Well if YOU leave don't be surprised if YOUR things are on the lawn when YOU come back.

Her attitude was yeah right whatever and left.

As I promised I started putting her thing outside. My neighbor who is an awesome older man came over worried thinking we were being robbed. I told him what happened and he started to help me. He said if I need him just call.

She came back around midnight banging on the door. (I have one of those electronic locks and changed the code plus the video doorbell)

She was angry and upset. I told her through the Doorbell if she could please keep it down I was trying to sleep.

She said she didn't think I was serious. She didn't have a place to go. Why was I doing this to her?

My favorite line was it's not cheating if we didn't do anything.

I asked her what if I did the same what would she have done?

She said she would have flipped out but it is different with her.

I told her that none of that was my problem. She should ask the guy she went on a date with for a place to stay. She put herself in this situation and I warned her exactly what was going to happen. She left after my neighbor's lights came on and he asked her to keep it down.

This morning I woke up to messages and calls all telling me off. She lied to everyone. I sent them the doorbell video clips and they did a 180 and are now telling her off.

WTF is wrong with people nowadays?

&nbsp;

COMMENTS

HelpfulParking7319 > I’m so confused for you - how was any of this normal for her?? Sorry OP you didn’t deserve that and I’m glad you put her on the streets > > OOP >> That is what I'm struggling to understand. We were good. No abuse of any kind. Loving sweet and respectful the whole time. No odd behaviors. We are both in professional fields. Then out of the blue this happpens.

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in_formation > this is so unhinged- did you guys regularly go on dates? what on earth possessed her to just go out with a random > > OOP >> Yeah, we go out 2-3 times a week. I usually plan it but she does about once a week. Unless schedules clash.

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Anxious_Sound_9823 > What the hell. Like, seriously. What. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Your neighbor sounds like a great dude tho. Glad your friends/family seem to be on your side as well after seeing the doorbell clips. > > I'm honestly so confused. You can't just go on dates with other people WITHOUT any communication, ESPECIALLY if you friggin agreed to be monogamous. What. The. Fuck. > > OOP >> Yeah,and she was the one that pushed for it. I have no idea what her thought process was.

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ikoreynolds > did she admit she went on a date in the clip? > > OOP >> Yeah, that is where she said, "it's not cheating if nothing romantic happened."

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Jeffrey_Friedl > The chill way you reacted makes me think that her actions didn't surprised you all that much. > > OOP >> My upbringing has it made easy way to detach myself from those I love. It is like a switch inside me. I still care about her but I don't love her anymore. The fact that she knew this and still did what she did is what hurt the most.

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msancho_4201 > I’m sorry but wtf is wrong with her??? Y’all have been dating for over 2 years &amp; all of a sudden she decides to go on a date with ANOTHER dude??? Has she ever thought in the slightest that THAT shit ain’t normal to do cuz y’all are in a MONOGAMOUS relationship (&amp; SHE even wanted it to be that way)??? Tf did she think was gonna happen??? Do u have any idea what made her even wanna do that at all??? &amp; yet she gets all pissy if the roles were reversed… Something is really off… > > OOP >> That's why I was so confused. I did what she wanted. Treated her well. Was mono with her. I did a lot for her and followed what she wanted. The boom Im Going out on a date and you should be okay with that. Don't know if it was a test or what but I guess to her I failed it.

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SummerNothingness > OP, it seems like you are leaving out some critical details. were you guys not speaking/ fighting? (that wouldn't excuse it but would make this less baffling) does she have some kind of amnesia or mental illness because this is more than weird. > > why would someone living with their partner just suddenly go on a date with someone else?? > > i just find it really odd that you would leave out any explanation. > > OOP >> No, we were not fighting or anything. We went on dates regularly. We had just been talking about plans for the future. Kids, weddings, things like that. I'm not a doctor and she never told me about any mental illnesses or anything. >> >> I left out an explanation because I don't have any. I have no idea WTF happened. >> >> Ploopchicken >>> Are you sure she wasn't just hanging out with her friends? Some people will call a hang out a date even if everyone knows it's not. I tell my bf I'm going on dates with my girl friends all the time. >>> >>> OOP >>>> I'm like 98%. When she said "it's not like I cheated because we didn't do anything "

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young_ravioli > i’m surprised that after 2 years together you didn’t want to know WHY she was randomly going on a date with another man. like…something about this post seems so off lol > > OOP >> To me the why doesn't matter. The fact that she would do it knowing how I would react and still going through with it is what matters. Because of my childhood, it is easy for me to disconnect from people I thought I loved. >> >> young_ravioli >>> well most people would not like their partners to do what your ex did lol it’s good that you left her— it’s just that she randomly decides to go on a date in a committed relationship and you’re not asking “who? what? why?” after being with this person for 2 years is quite odd, imo. my boyfriend and i have been together for 3 years and if he RANDOMLY announced that he was going on a date with someone when we’ve never discussed non-monogamy before…i wouldn’t stay with him, but it would definitely cause me to ask some questions, especially if things in our relationship seemed to be going well! i also find it easier to disconnect myself from people (due to childhood abandonment issues), but i can’t say that i wouldn’t be curious enough to confront him about why he randomly decided to do that after YEARS of being together. >>> >>> OOP >>>> From what I gathered I think she thought I would just be okay with it. That she could do what/whoever she wants. My issues are child abandonment, with some foster/adopted parent abuse. If any more information comes from her I will gladly take it. I am guessing that she will reach out in a couple of days.

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thirtytwentytwo > what doorbell/lock stuff do you use? i'm curious because whenever I own a house (i'm 18 don't worry lol) I would like to have newer technology stuff. my response to the post: i think you handled this well. i'm sorry that this happened and i hope the best for you &lt;3 > > OOP >> I have a ring doorbell and cameras. But I can't remember the exact brand of the door lock. It is more of a deadbolt than a door handle/lock. But do your research and fund some that work for you! Also, you have like smart plugs or lighting systems. They are not cheap but make life easy.

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Sand_Mermaid (downvoted) > Your gf is trying to inspire you to put a ring on it or maybe she wants you to be more involvedwith your relationship. Do you plan date night or do you just leave it to her. . Has she been asking for relationship clarity or for better commitment? That's what this is about. If she has and she has resorted to this... she may be desperate or fed up at her wits end. If not then she needed to have communicated her plans. I would have done this but I would have made sure I had a place to stay and only if u was ready to lose my partner if it back fired like it has on her now. > > OOP >> We usually go out on dates 2-3 times a week, depending on schedules. I usually make the plans about 80% of the time. We had talked about the future. What we wanted and what timeline.
>> >> But if resorting to stepping out and seeing another guy is a ploy to get my attention, then I don't need her in my life. I did love her, but the moment she thought she should see someone else and I should be okay with it. This is the moment when I lost all love and respect for her. This is not a game you play. You don't threaten to cheat. Walk out and expect me to be on one knee when you get back. >> >> Clear communication is key. I can't read her mind. She can't read mine. I thought we were in a good spot. We didn't fight much(small things were never large). We had goals and ambitions. >> >> >Has she been asking for relationship clarity >> >> She begged me for an exclusive monogamous relationship. I don't know how much clearer you could be.

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Defiant_Wishbone_897 > So what happened before the big reveal? > > If she was going on a date you couldn't know about because that's not the agreed relationship then meh she's wrong and boring. > > If she's going on a date you could know about because that's the deal and you forgot the details then meh you're making a mountain out of a molehill. > > If she's going on a date you could know about but you don't because you guys have some super intense YOU WILL ONLY FUCK AROUND IF I'M COOL WIT DAT vibe then meh, boring. > > Also she begged for exclusivity? Damn think I wasted my effort, you is a troll. > > OOP >> Nothing happened. From the moment we agreed to be exclusive and monogamous. The deal was I was dating only her. She was only dating me. If one of us went on a date that was considered cheating. Cheating no matter what form it took was a deal breaker. >> He were literally talking about kids and marriage a week before.

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Final Update - after 1 month, 9 days

^(April 14, 2023)

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Update My(26m) girlfriend(25f) decided she was going to go on a date with another guy.

Hello, and good day to you all. Thanks for the comments and messages. To address some of the comments. No, I will not send the video to anyone on here. Not even to the 100+ people who DMed me. Yes, my neighbor is a total BAMF. He has become the one person I can go to for anything, anytime, anywhere. I have given him his beverage of choice and made him dinner a few times. He is basically a father figure. I also want to remind people I don't have any real family. Due to me having a bad experience growing up in the system. I form relationships, but I can easily just cut all feelings instantly. This happened the moment when she closed the door to go on the date.

Since my post, several things became clear to me after some self reflection, investigation, and some information I have found out from trusted sources. 

1. I missed so many red flags. Such as me deciding and making plans for over 80% of our dates. Her working more hours despite still not having a bunch of extra money. Things like that.

2. she had stopped talking to half of her friend group a few months before the incident. She would talk like she was still in contact with them and still seeing them. She got a new friend group from work. And they were the ones who convinced her to go on a date, and I was just a doormat. (Since she told them how our relationship started, they turned monogamous by her request) 

3. Things did happen that night. It might not have been romantic, so technically, she didn't lie. "Nothing romantic happened, so it doesn't count." But none the less the broke our number one rule we both agreed on. I even gave her a warning not to do it, but she did anyway. 

4. The new "friends" were just trying to see if they could get her to cheat on me with a guy from work. When she was working more hours she was really with this friend group and with this guy. He just wanted to eff her.

5. Her parents finally reached out to me, and my ex is now being treated for depression and a personality disorder (some one in the comments were right) she went to them that night. Reached out after they got her to talk and found out her side of what happened.

6. Overall, our relationship was good, I thought.  We never really had a fight or major argument. No shady behavior, like constantly on her phone. It was just her "working extra hours."

7. I was busy and worked more than I should. Ultimately, this was a test. She failed. I failed.  We both failed.

8. My neighbor is still a BAMF.

I know it is soon, but I'm already in the beginning stages of dating someone.  I have known them for a while and just recently got back in TOUCH.

Hope all is well with you guys. 

&nbsp;

COMMENTS

training_tortoises > Question: what are you gonna tell her if a year or more from now she comes back, says she got therapy and has worked on her issues, and is genuinely sorry for how she treated you and wants to prove she can be the girlfriend you deserve? > > OOP >> That I'm glad she got the help she needed. I'm sorry for what happened as well. But i can not be with someone who has hurt me the way she did. Betrayed my trust to the point I could no longer believe what she says. But I hope she has a long and healthy life.

&nbsp;

---

This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)

Please remember to follow the subreddit rules, especially the ones about brigading.

Let’s aim for a respectful and friendly discussion for everyone involved.

We do a family dinner the last Friday of every month (9 or 10 of us, it has been going since 2024). I book it because I am the organized one, and I put the whole bill on my card and everybody sends me their share after.

That worked fine for about 2 years. My cousin Rachel has paid me for 1 of the last 5. It comes to $147 across 4 dinners. I asked twice, both times over text, and both times I got back "I'll send it this week."

Then I stopped asking, because it was honestly starting to make me feel like a debt collector at my own family dinner.

So for August I called the restaurant and changed the reservation over to her name and her number. I didn't mention it to her. When the check came the server put it down in front of Rachel, because the table was under her name, and she then had to explain to the whole table why she was sliding it back down to me.

She paid that one, and the $147 landed 2 days later

AITA?

Hi all, long time lurker first time poster on this forum.

I knitted my brother's girlfriend a blanket for her birthday after she admired one I had made for myself. I'm not a great knitter and it took me quite a long time to make, and I bought the wool myself in colours I thought she would like. The wool was real wool and quite expensive, more than €100.

When I gave it to her she said thank you and seemed happy with it.

Anyway, over the weekend I was in a charity shop and saw the blanket there. I texted her and asked her about it and she admitted she had donated it. She said she wasn't really using it, that she "found it a bit itchy" and donated it because she thought someone else might like it more.

I know technically it's her gift and she can do whatever she wants with it, but it took a lot of time to make and the wool was really quite expensive, and I am still really upset about it. It was part merino wool as well so I don't know why she's saying it was itchy! I also feel a bit stupid because I spent hours making this yoke for her and I thought she genuinely liked it, but it turns out she didn't even want it.

Maybe I am stupid because I kind of thought they'd someday use it in their future kids' room or something and tell them how Auntie RaRa made that blanket when we were still going out.

My brother says I'm overreacting and says he doesn't understand why I'm taking it personally. He says she liked that I made it for her but she just didn't use the blanket enough to keep it. I don't think he understands the effort that went into it though. It's not like I bought some rubbish on Temu for her.

Also, if someone spends that much time and money making something especially for you, surely it means something that you couldn't be bothered to keep it?

Obviously this is awkward because she's my brother's girlfriend and I don't want to cause problems for him or our parents, but I feel like if she was a caring person she would have cared more about something made for her.

Anyway, AITA here, or is she for disrespecting my time and money?

I (30) come from a middle/upper middle class family. I know I will never be on the streets, I have multiple safety nets and very well off family that I can fall back on. My partner (32) comes from a lower/middle class family that is secure but not as much as I am.

Personally, I am financially literate and have worked really hard to keep myself secure. I make 45k at a nonprofit, save what I can and spend as little as possible. I am able to make so little because I was raised with financial literacy, and I know if I ever need anything my family will happily transfer multiple thousands of dollars to me, or co-sign (don’t get me twisted, this is max $10k).

My partner is financially illiterate; they “bank” through prepaid cards and I see constant texts from debt collection agencies on their phone. Their family is generationally okay. Their grandparent has money and has helped their other family members in the past. My partner is not destitute, just very bad with money.

I intend to get a prenup if we marry, my sibling is my beneficiary on all accounts, and the money I will inherit will be put into a family trust.

Me and my partner are trying to get an apartment. Because of my salary being $45k, and theirs being similar, we could barely be approved for shit.

I’m really torn between just putting it in my name and having my partner pay me (they have a bad habit of not paying me back in full). Or putting my foot down and saying that you have to find a way to make up the money! They are really pushing to move, and do not have the money!

Our lease is up 9/30, so it’s getting down to the wire. Realistically, I can just have my parent co-sign my lease and my partner will pay me half and not be on the lease. But I think that’s so unfair that the legal responsibility be on me because they aren’t as smart with money.

Is it worth it for me to just shut up and get the place that I want, and we can afford (but they can’t qualify for) and just have my parent co-sign. Or should I make my partner face the music and realize that we can only qualify for what we can qualify for with their credentials as well. I’m okay living in something smaller, and more out of the way if so.

I (39M) have been married to my wife (38F) for 12 years, and we have two young kids. A couple of years ago, my wife admitted she was feeling sexually unsatisfied in our marriage. I have an extremely small penis, so I already knew where the conversation was heading. I had tried my best with oral and hands and different objects but it was clear she just wanted to experience a normal penis. I asked her to please just be honest if that was the reason. She hesitated for a while, but eventually admitted that yes, it was.

I asked her if she wanted an open relationship so she could get those needs met elsewhere. She started crying and said she never wanted to hurt me, but she admitted she had thought about it before. I told her I loved her, I didn’t want to lose our family, and that if this was what she needed, then I could accept it. My only conditions were to be safe and to spare me the details.

It’s now been two years. Our marriage is pretty good, all things considered. We still have sex, she’s affectionate with me, we go on vacations, have regular date nights, our kids are happy, and she constantly tells me how grateful she is that I was willing to make such a huge sacrifice for our family.

As for me, I don’t think many women would be interested in a balding middle aged guy with two kids and an extremely small penis so I haven’t really explored the open relationship arrangement. Some days it really hurts to think about it, knowing my wife being intimate with someone else, but most of the times I just push those thoughts aside and focus on everything else that’s good in my life.

One thing I’ve realized since my wife opened the relationship is that I really like feeling wanted and appreciated. It doesn’t have to be romantic. Just feeling like I matter to someone. I’m very close with my younger sister. She’s a single mom with two young kids after her husband passed away five years ago. I helped her however I could after he died. But over the last couple of years I’ve become extremely close with my niece and nephew. They cry when I leave, they ask when I’m coming back, and I honestly adore them.

Financially, I’m fortunate enough to do well. My wife and I have a joint account for household expenses, but we also each have our own individual accounts. I use money from my personal account to spoil my sister’s family. I take the kids on fun trips, buy them expensive birthday and Christmas presents, and recently I even bought my sister a new car because hers was constantly breaking down.

My sister is obviously super grateful about everything and she always cooks me my favorite food, pasta, lasagna, key lime pies, seafood etc. She’s always pretty emotional and a lot of times just cries and thanks me for having a bond with her kids, and being a father like presence in their lives. She also gives me thoughtful gifts, like for example on my birthday she gave me a hand embroidered quilt which she spent an entire year working on.

Last night my wife told me she thinks I’ve gone too far. She said she wishes I’d spend more of that money on experiences for our own family instead of constantly giving it to my sister and her kids.

I completely lost my temper. I told her she should have some shame bringing this up considering our open marriage arrangement, where she’s free to be intimate with other people. I told she should be extra grateful I’m even still here after everything we’ve been through, and that I never wanted to have this conversation again. I told her she seriously stepped over the line, and I was pretty pissed and left the bedroom and went to the couch.

She was obviously shocked, and then followed me to the couch, started apologizing over and over, and admitted she’d crossed a line. She said she wasn’t trying to criticize everything I’ve done for my sister, just that she missed doing more things as a family. I told her to have some shame, and that yes my sister is my family too, and there’s no reason I need to prioritize one or the other.

I asked her to have some shame and asked her where does she get the audacity asking for family time knowing she’s riding another dude’s dick while being married. I told my wife to leave me alone, and my wife broke down in tears and apologized again and left.

Now that I’ve cooled off, I apologized to my wife for losing my temper. My wife said I was right, and that she took this arrangement for granted and she had no right to bring it up.

Was I wrong for losing my temper?

I am not The OOP, OOP is u/Sudowiec

The sleeping Jeremy pic destroyed my relationship

Originally posted to r/phineasandferb

Thanks to u/jayclaw97 for suggesting this BoRU

TRIGGER WARNING: >!Mental health struggles!<

Original Post Apr 3, 2025

Hello everyone. I would like to share this story as a warning and maybe to soothe myself a bit in this situation.

I (23 M) have been in a relationship with my girlfriend (23 F) for over 3 years. We had our ups and downs throughout the years but we've always managed to talk things through and communicate.

One improtant thing for the story is that I have a pretty sarcastic and "mean" sense of humour. I laugh at people and may act disrespectful but only as a joke. All my friends know about that and usually they don't get offended. Alright, there were situations where I went too far but it was rare and I always tried to make it up afterwards.

Lately I saw a few posts on this sub with the picture of Jeremy sleeping on the couch. I found it really hillarious and started using it as a reaction pic. Mostly in situations when people were ranting or writing too much text about something. You know, like a "too much yapping, too long, fell asleep" meme. Usually no one paid much attention to it but I couldn't not burst a laugh whenever I saw this pic.

Unfortunately one day I think I failed reading the room. My girlfriend was visiting her family that lives in another city so she was away for the weekend. At one point she texted me a block of text about her family situation. Her parents divorcing and her aunt getting sick or something like that, I don't remember exactly. I wasn't paying much attention to the text as I was in the middle of a game so I just sent the Jeremy sleeping pic as a joke.

Then she started sending text after text, about how I don't treat anything seriously, about me making stupid jokes about everything, that she can't count on me and stuff like this. And for some reason I thought that it would be very funny to send the pic AGAIN. And in my stupidity I did just that. Sent the Jeremy sleeping pic. Again. I know it's dumb but at that time I really thought it will be funny.

She blocked me after that. I tried texting her on other social media and calling her phone but she didn't pick up. When she came home the next day she immediately started packing up. I apologized multiple times and said it was just a stupid joke but she didn't listen. She packed her stuff, took our cat and left.

Didn't hear from her since. I think she also changed her phone number as I kept trying to call her. Our friends stopped talking to me as well. I'm afraid I'm gonna get evicted soon as she was paying most of the rent. All of that because of the picture of Jeremy sleeping.

And that's the story. If I want you to remember one thing from me is to be careful with your jokes. Take care everyone.

The pic mentioned

Update July 22, 2026 (Nearly 16 months later)

Hello everyone.

As I noticed my old post gaining views, reposts and even people on youtube talking about it I decided to write a follow-up. At first I was hesitant but some of you were curious about how’s it going for me so here it is.

Let’s start at the beginning. Shortly after writing the original post I actually got evicted. My income wasn’t enough to support the rent so I had to move back to my parents’ apartment. Can't say they were happy about the situation but at least they allowed me to sleep on the couch until I find a new place for myself.

I have to say - losing my apartment, the breakup and the fact that majority of my friends turned their back on me got me pretty depressed. I had trouble getting up for work, at some point I even took some time off. I told my parents that I wanted to focus on finding a new apartment but in reality I just couldn’t get up from the couch. I tried reaching my ex gf wherever she didn't block me, at one point I even drove to her current place but she didn't let me in and her flatmate told me to basically get lost.

Honestly I don't know where I would be now if not for one of my friends who still talks to me from time to time. They said that maybe I should meet new people, find a new partner or something. They suggested a dating app or going to a board games club at my university. At first I was hesitant but at some point I said “what the hell” and went with it.

I'll skip the app stuff cause it’s neither interesting nor important. Just a bunch of dead-end conversations with random people or bots. The board games club on the other hand was a great idea. It was so refreshing to go there once a week for a few hours and just chill with people. My mental state actually got better and I met some like-minded people.

At one point I started talking with one girl who would come on the same day as I. We had our first longer conversation after she beat my ass in MTG. Turns out we had many similar interests and hobbies so we started texting and talking outside of the club. We became good friends, even went on a “date” or two. After some time I actually started developing feelings for her but I couldn’t really tell if they were mutual.

Then there was one week that was exceptionally bad. I failed an important exam at uni because I had to do overtime at work, got into a big argument with my parents and my depression started manifesting again. I didn't go to the club meeting and I was kinda avoiding the aforementioned girl. I just didn't have energy to talk plus I felt uncomfortable with not knowing how she felt about me. And on friday evening when I was doomscrolling on the couch she sent me a long text.

She said a lot of things, mainly that she likes me but she’s not sure if we should go further with our relationship, considering my mental state and her own problems. I read it all and in my terrible mood I decided “fuck it, if it has to go, let it go with a bang” so… I sent her a Jeremy sleeping pic.

I know what you think. Yes, it was an asshole move. But I was so done with it all that I decided that I deserve at least a bit of fun in this whole situation. However, nothing could have prepared me for what happened next. I expected an angry text, instant block and all the stuff but instead… she sent back a laughing emoji. She said that she’s just realized that she genuinly loves my sense of humour and that I always know how to cheer her up. She apologized for the long text, said she’s also had a rough week and we should talk about our relationship in person.

Long story short - we’ve been together for six months now. We’ve managed to find an apartment with decent enough rent and we’re looking forward to adopting a cat together. The Jeremy sleeping pic became kind of an inside joke for us, we still send it to each other every now and then. I can honestly say, I've never been happier.

So this is it. I find it funny how once the Jeremy sleeping pic destroyed my relationship but then it saved another. Maybe it’s never been about the pic itself but more about how it’s used and in what context. Who can tell? What's important is that it all ended well.

Thanks for reading everyone, take care.

THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP

DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7

My fiance (27M) and I (25F) are getting married this October. We are both obviously very excited but I'm having trouble coming to terms with the fact that almost none of my fiance's family are going to attend. So far pretty much everyone from his family that we invited have declined except for his parents and grandparents.

His siblings, cousins, aunts, uncles, etc. All RSVP'd "no". I know he is hurt by this and I feel this intense urge to contact some of them and ask them why they are not attending but he has told me repeatedly not to do that.

My fiance is the youngest of his siblings by a few years. All of his siblings live kind of far from where we are getting married so I get travel is an inconvenience but it's not like we're having a destination wedding, we're just getting married close to where we live. I understand his siblings have kids and jobs and lives too but this is their brother's wedding!

I will admit that we are planning on having a somewhat non-traditional wedding. Neither my fiance nor I drink so we are not serving alcohol. We don't want to be paying extra hundreds or more for alcohol that we won't drink. The wedding will also be child-free because both of us have been to weddings with kids running around crazy all day and neither of us want that. Also, our wedding is being held at an organic farm so we are having an all-vegan menu for the food. I understand those things are not everyone's cup of tea but it's who we are and we want our wedding to be a reflection of who we are as a couple to really celebrate us on that day.

We've heard through my fiance's parents that his siblings are using their kids and their school schedules as an excuse as to why they can't attend. But if their kids can't attend the wedding anyway what does their school schedule even matter? It makes no sense to me. I have this sense of dread that when the ceremony starts my side of the aisle will be filled and my fiance's will have like 4 people and I'm worried he'll feel humiliated and embarrassed.

Since my fiance and I have been together we've attended 2 of his older siblings weddings. My fiance was in the wedding party for both of them. We aren't doing traditional wedding parties, just my best friend and my fiance's best friend as maid-of-honor and best-man. We traveled for both of those weddings too, although his parents did help us out with some travel expenses to make it easier on us.

I just don't understand how they can be so unsupportive when we've always made an effort to be there for them on their big days and now ours is coming up and they're all just ok skipping it. None of it sits right with me and I'm trying really hard not to take it personally or to call them out on it.

My fiance tries to play it off like everything is ok but I know it bothers him and I'm worried that it will only get worse as we get closer and that the actual wedding day will be a tipping point for him when he actually sees how many people didn't show up for him. His family is normally very close and supportive so this is really out of character for them and I just don't understand it.

I (46F) am married to my wife (45F). We have two kids. One girl (17F) and one boy (16 M) My daughter plays softball and my son does soccer. Both are athletic and have friends and are social. When they were little I brought them fishing with me on the boat. They had no interest and wouldn't even try it because it looked hard. I said whatever and didn't push. As they grew I noticed a pattern everytime they saw something hard they wouldn't even attempt to try it. The only reason they play sports is because it came easy to them. But other than that they don't do anything else. My wife and I make enough money to live comfortably and our kids are just expecting to get cars.

I spoke with my wife and told her about how I think they should work to get their cars. They have to go out on the boat and just catch one fish. Doesn't matter the size just follow our state regulations. I would even go with them to help. But all they have to do is try. My wife says its odd and my kids think it's completely unfair. I told them they just have to catch something. So reddit AITAH?

My car was in the shop for a couple of weeks, so my girlfriend let me use hers to get to work. She works from home so she didn't really need it during the day.

I work at a waste recycling facility. Instead of parking in the employee car park, I've always parked in a field at the back where I work because it's a much shorter walk. I've been doing it for almost four years and nobody has ever said anything.

Unfortunately, I borrowed my girlfriend's Mini Cooper instead of my usual car. One of the guys driving the CAT machines saw it parked in the field and assumed it was waiting to be recycled. He crushed it with a bulldozer before anyone realised it wasn't scrap. He wasn't required to crush it or move it at the time and was just having fun.

My girlfriend's insurance denied the claim because they said the car was deliberately crushed, so it wasn't covered as an accident. My employer also refused to pay because they said I wasn't parked in the designated employee parking area.

Now my girlfriend says I need to buy her a brand new Mini Cooper.

I think that's unreasonable. While it was in greay condition, her car was already four years old. I'm willing to contribute towards replacing it with something sensible, but I don't think buying a brand new Mini is justified.

Honestly, I think they're overpriced for such a small car anyway, and if I'm paying for it I'd rather help her get a reliable used car than spend loads on a new one.

She says the whole thing only happened because I borrowed her car, so I should replace it with what she actually had, not what I think is a better financial decision. She basically almost never used her car besides weekend leisure trips and I said she can use mine meanwhile.

[removed]

Hi, so I only posted my original post yesterday so I did not expect to have an update so fast. But I wasn't really able to respond to a lot of the comments because so much has happened these past 24 hours. Unfortunately this is not the update I wanted to give, but people were so kind to give me advice that I think it is only fair to inform everybody about what has happened.

To to answer a few questions I saw: Lily and her husband have been arguing the past 3 months since James found out I am his biological father. James never told me specifically how Lily's husband reacted but I have a feeling that the reaction was not good. Prior to James doing an ancestry DNA test, Lily's husband was a great father to him. James did not live with us full time but he often stayed at our house to get away from the arguing.

Okay now onto the update. After I made that post yesterday, Blake came and spoke to me about some incidents that have happened with James the past 3 months. Unfortunately James has some views that our family does not agree with, and Blake is a gay man (He is fine with me sharing this information) so he was a target of James's views. Leading to some really rude interactions the past few months. The only reason Blake told me now is because he heard from James that James did not want to invite Blake on the camping trip. Blake had tried to keep the peace these past 3 months bless him but James not wanting him to come camping.

Obviously I was angry at hearing how James had treated Blake. So I spoke to James this morning and confronted him about this topic. He didn't even deny his views, he tried to convince me that I should kick Blake out the house for this. I don't think this is the full reason he dislikes Blake but this doesn't help James's resentment.

As of right now I have told James he is not welcome back in my house whilst he still holds these views. Nor am I interested in forming a father-son bond with somebody who has these views. If and when James matures a bit he will be welcomed into our lives again but not right now.

Blake deserves to feel that his home is a safe space, James is not welcome back here. I am taking Danny and Blake on the camping trip because they do still want to go camping.

I have empathy for James's family situation but at the end of the day, I do not tolerate that hatred in my life. This was not the update I wanted to give but that is the situation. Thank you for all of your advice.

Edit: I should add that James's views also include racism, my wife is black, Blake is black, Danny is mixed race and my daughter is mixed race. I do think James is more subtle about his racism in comparison to how openly homophobic he was towards Blake. But after I had a chat with James I did realise he does also have racist views.