My middle name is Corbett, which is the same middle name as my father (deceased) and my little sister (age 40). It is a family name, and when I came out as nonbinary a year ago, I started going by my middle name, as it is already on all of my legal documents and suits me, as it has been part of my name forever.
However, my sister insists that taking my middle name as my first is hurtful to her and doesn't suit me because I am not "Irish enough" and is hers. For context, my fam is really into being Irish as a primary identity. While I am Irish American, I am not very interested in my family history & don't care about my heritage as much as my sister, which is one of the reasons she believes I am not entitled to my name. The irony is my middle name isn't even truly Irish. It comes from the French for "crow" and came into Irish use through French colonization.
I have come to accept the fact that she will continue to misgender me and call me by my given first name, which doesn't feel like me at all. When I try to talk to my sister, she gets pissed and either blows up at me or shuts down. She gas told her friends not to call me by my name, and has even gone so far as to to introduce herself as Corbett to my friends when she meets them, in an attempt to make intros awkward and uncomfortable for me.
Am I the asshole for taking my middle name as my first name? I am confused as to why she is so hurt by it, as her logic doesn't make sense to me. The whole situation is also complicated by the fact that I an nonbinary and this name change is related to that. When explaining this to my sister, she glibly asked why I couldn't just change my name to \\\*Leslie\\\* or \\\*Pat\\\* as they are more gender neutral.