u/Far_Tea_4183

Little background: I’m a 30 year old unmarried woman. My father has been abusive for as long as I can remember, physically violent towards my mother, me, and my sister throughout our childhood. He cheated on my mother as well. His brothers have similar behaviour patterns, so abuse was always normalised in that side of the family.

In 2019, he met with a major accident and suffered partial memory loss. Despite everything he had done to us, we took care of him until he recovered. Since then, he has not worked. Even before the accident, when I joined engineering college in 2015, he had taken loans in my name for his business, while my mother borrowed money separately to fund my education.

After the accident, I spent years repaying debts, recovering our mortgaged gold, paying off his credit card bills that were mostly used for alcohol and bars, and managing household expenses. In the process, I became a defaulter on my own education loan. We eventually moved into my paternal grandparents’ house, where we live on the ground floor and one of my father’s brothers lives upstairs.

Today, my sister and I live in another city and both earn well. For the last four years, my mother has been running a tiffin service, but my father steals her earnings to buy alcohol. The abuse never stopped, verbal, emotional, and physical.

Whenever we tried asking his family for help, they blamed us instead. They claimed we must be mistreating him because he no longer earns, while the reality is exactly the opposite. He tells people that we insult and beat him, and somehow everyone believes him.

Once, when he was violently attacking my mother, I called the police because I live away from home. But when they arrived, he pretended to be mentally unstable, cried, and accused my mother of abusing him instead. His brother immediately sided with him, and my mother ended up apologising.

Yesterday, it happened again. He beat my mother, abused her, insulted my maternal grandmother who was visiting, and broke my mother’s phone when she tried recording the incident. Then he called the same alcoholic brother from upstairs, who came down aggressively as well. At that moment, I felt helpless because even if I called the police again, we still have no evidence and the same drama would probably repeat.

I want my mother to move in with me, but she keeps worrying that this situation will affect my marriage prospects. Meanwhile, I feel trapped between responsibility, guilt, fear, and exhaustion. Since I started earning, almost every rupee has gone into surviving this family, my sister’s education, my father’s debts, his medical care, household responsibilities. I’ve tried to save for my own future and marriage, but sometimes it feels impossible.

What hurts the most is that despite being completely dependent on us, he still controls the narrative and continues to abuse us without consequences.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. If anyone has faced something similar, abusive alcoholic parents, family enabling violence, or carrying the financial burden of everyone while sacrificing your own future, I would really appreciate advice on how to handle this situation. I feel emotionally exhausted and constantly worried about my mother, my future, and whether life will ever become peaceful.

Little background: I’m a 30 year old unmarried woman. My father has been abusive for as long as I can remember, physically violent towards my mother, me, and my sister throughout our childhood. He cheated on my mother as well. His brothers have similar behaviour patterns, so abuse was always normalised in that side of the family.

In 2019, he met with a major accident and suffered partial memory loss. Despite everything he had done to us, we took care of him until he recovered. Since then, he has not worked. Even before the accident, when I joined engineering college in 2015, he had taken loans in my name for his business, while my mother borrowed money separately to fund my education.

After the accident, I spent years repaying debts, recovering our mortgaged gold, paying off his credit card bills that were mostly used for alcohol and bars, and managing household expenses. In the process, I became a defaulter on my own education loan. We eventually moved into my paternal grandparents’ house, where we live on the ground floor and one of my father’s brothers lives upstairs.

Today, my sister and I live in another city and both earn well. For the last four years, my mother has been running a tiffin service, but my father steals her earnings to buy alcohol. The abuse never stopped, verbal, emotional, and physical.

Whenever we tried asking his family for help, they blamed us instead. They claimed we must be mistreating him because he no longer earns, while the reality is exactly the opposite. He tells people that we insult and beat him, and somehow everyone believes him.

Once, when he was violently attacking my mother, I called the police because I live away from home. But when they arrived, he pretended to be mentally unstable, cried, and accused my mother of abusing him instead. His brother immediately sided with him, and my mother ended up apologising.

Yesterday, it happened again. He beat my mother, abused her, insulted my maternal grandmother who was visiting, and broke my mother’s phone when she tried recording the incident. Then he called the same alcoholic brother from upstairs, who came down aggressively as well. At that moment, I felt helpless because even if I called the police again, we still have no evidence and the same drama would probably repeat.

I want my mother to move in with me, but she keeps worrying that this situation will affect my marriage prospects. Meanwhile, I feel trapped between responsibility, guilt, fear, and exhaustion. Since I started earning, almost every rupee has gone into surviving this family, my sister’s education, my father’s debts, his medical care, household responsibilities. I’ve tried to save for my own future and marriage, but sometimes it feels impossible.

What hurts the most is that despite being completely dependent on us, he still controls the narrative and continues to abuse us without consequences.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. If anyone has faced something similar, abusive alcoholic parents, family enabling violence, or carrying the financial burden of everyone while sacrificing your own future, I would really appreciate advice on how to handle this situation. I feel emotionally exhausted and constantly worried about my mother, my future, and whether life will ever become peaceful.

Little background: I’m a 30 year old unmarried woman. My father has been abusive for as long as I can remember, physically violent towards my mother, me, and my sister throughout our childhood. He cheated on my mother as well. His brothers have similar behaviour patterns, so abuse was always normalised in that side of the family.

In 2019, he met with a major accident and suffered partial memory loss. Despite everything he had done to us, we took care of him until he recovered. Since then, he has not worked. Even before the accident, when I joined engineering college in 2015, he had taken loans in my name for his business, while my mother borrowed money separately to fund my education.

After the accident, I spent years repaying debts, recovering our mortgaged gold, paying off his credit card bills that were mostly used for alcohol and bars, and managing household expenses. In the process, I became a defaulter on my own education loan. We eventually moved into my paternal grandparents’ house, where we live on the ground floor and one of my father’s brothers lives upstairs.

Today, my sister and I live in another city and both earn well. For the last four years, my mother has been running a tiffin service, but my father steals her earnings to buy alcohol. The abuse never stopped, verbal, emotional, and physical.

Whenever we tried asking his family for help, they blamed us instead. They claimed we must be mistreating him because he no longer earns, while the reality is exactly the opposite. He tells people that we insult and beat him, and somehow everyone believes him.

Once, when he was violently attacking my mother, I called the police because I live away from home. But when they arrived, he pretended to be mentally unstable, cried, and accused my mother of abusing him instead. His brother immediately sided with him, and my mother ended up apologising.

Yesterday, it happened again. He beat my mother, abused her, insulted my maternal grandmother who was visiting, and broke my mother’s phone when she tried recording the incident. Then he called the same alcoholic brother from upstairs, who came down aggressively as well. At that moment, I felt helpless because even if I called the police again, we still have no evidence and the same drama would probably repeat.

I want my mother to move in with me, but she keeps worrying that this situation will affect my marriage prospects. Meanwhile, I feel trapped between responsibility, guilt, fear, and exhaustion. Since I started earning, almost every rupee has gone into surviving this family, my sister’s education, my father’s debts, his medical care, household responsibilities. I’ve tried to save for my own future and marriage, but sometimes it feels impossible.

What hurts the most is that despite being completely dependent on us, he still controls the narrative and continues to abuse us without consequences.

I genuinely don’t know what to do anymore. If anyone has faced something similar, abusive alcoholic parents, family enabling violence, or carrying the financial burden of everyone while sacrificing your own future, I would really appreciate advice on how to handle this situation. I feel emotionally exhausted and constantly worried about my mother, my future, and whether life will ever become peaceful.