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Hi! I’ve been teaching languages for over 34 years. I have two Master’s degrees in Education, I’m a certified ESOL teacher, a certified reading literacy teacher, a trained Cambridge examiner, and a former student of Stephen Krashen, among other things.

To date, I’ve taught more than 2,000 students, and I still get “thank you” cards from my students all the time. My students consistently pass exams such as IELTS, TOEFL, and Cambridge with flying colors. And when it comes to developing speaking skills, I have a 100% success rate. I make students fluent.

Some of my former students have even gone on to become language teachers themselves. That makes me particularly proud because it means they didn’t just learn a language from me. They also learned how to help other people learn languages.

So, based on my experience, here’s what works and what doesn’t.

What DOES NOT work

1. Grammar exercises

If any books deserve to be burned, it’s the ones full of grammar exercises. (I’m also a stand-up comedian, so please don’t take that literally.) In my experience, grammar exercises often do more harm than good.

There is one important caveat: if you’re preparing for a test, you need to know the format. It’s very difficult to pass an exam if you don’t understand the format.

That’s exactly why I don’t recommend taking tests or studying specifically for them. Studying for a test is not the same thing as learning a language.

2. Attending grammar classes and formally studying grammar

The main reason you need grammar is to write well. So yes, you need to learn some grammar rules if you want to write. I usually teach writing through modeling. Once I provide enough examples, my students become excellent writers. It’s more challenging when a student is dyslexic, but there are specific methods that can help overcome those difficulties.

As for grammar rules, you can learn hundreds of them from a book and still be completely unable to speak the language fluently. Some students actually love learning rules, especially those who are very logical. The funny thing is that the more rules they know, the less fluent they become.

In fact, it’s impossible to learn every rule because there are simply too many, and real language use is much more complicated than a list of rules.

3. Hiring a private teacher or tutor who doesn’t know what they’re doing

The tricky part is that if you’re not a language-teaching professional yourself, you may have no idea whether your teacher actually knows what they’re doing.

Here’s a hint: if your teacher speaks less than 90% of the target language during the lesson, makes the lessons boring or incomprehensible, or bases the entire curriculum on grammar, they probably don’t know what they’re doing.

What DOES work

1. Surround yourself with a target language but keep it comprehensible.
2. Make friends with people who speak your target language.
3. Participate in activities where people speak your target language, are friendly toward you, and use language you can understand.
4. Stay with a family / group where the other members speak your target language.
5. Watch and listen to easy-to-understand programs, movies, podcasts, cartoons, or anime in your target language. Use subtitles if you need them. Subs in your native language for A0, in target language A1-B2.

The important part is that you actually understand what they’re saying.

6. Listen to audiobooks while reading the text. Use side-by-side translations if you need to.

7. Stories. Lots of compelling, emotional stories.

8. Use the right kind of instruction for your level.

For example:

A0 to A2: TPRS, a special method based on storytelling and comprehensible input

A2 to B2: CI-based CLIL classes

B2 to C2: Authentic materials / classes for native speakers

So what should an ideal language class look like?

In my opinion, it should have at least these three features:

1. Tons of compelling comprehensible input

Ideally, there should be two or more teachers who speak the target language most of the time, articulate clearly, speak slowly enough for students to understand, and ask students tons of personal questions.

2. Make this input comprehensible

The input should be at the student’s level or just slightly above it. You should understand most of what you hear while still being exposed to new language.

Any unfamiliar words should be translated in writing only, on the board, in your native language, or illustrated with pictures. The goal is to make the language comprehensible without constantly switching to your native language.

3. Interesting, engaging activities

There should be plenty of movement, interaction, laughter, and positive emotions. Learning a language shouldn’t feel like sitting through a three-hour grammar lecture.

And that, basically, is what works for my students based on my 34+ years of experience.

The most important rule to remember is this: we learn other languages when we want to understand what is being said and when we want to belong and be understood. Meeting these needs is enough to learn any language in the world, no matter how difficult it may seem.

The only reason I’m writing all of this is that I’m waiting for a furniture delivery and have one more hour to kill.

You’re welcome!

Happy learning!

_____
Edit: My furniture is here, so I’m going to take off for now. Whether you agree with me or not, I honestly don’t care. My purpose isn’t to change your mind. You’re free to believe whatever you want. My purpose is simply to share my 34+ years of experience and research.

To everyone who claims that grammar is essential to learning another language: get a master’s degree in linguistics first. Then get a teaching degree. And only then come back and argue your point of view.

Growing up, I devoured books as if they were hot cakes. Most of the books I read, as far as I remember, had boys or men as the main characters. The few female characters I really loved became my best friends; some of them even became part of my personality. Back then, I didn't think about it much. Looking back, though, it does seem that male characters were usually the ones who got to have all the adventures, make mistakes, take risks, and actually drive the story.

Many years later, I've started to notice how different the reading habits of men and women can be. Did you know that a 2014 Goodreads study of 40,000 active users in the UK found something pretty striking? Of the 50 books most read by men, 45 were written by men. And of the 50 books most read by women, 45 were written by women. So, in both groups, 90% of the most-read books were written by authors of the same gender as the readers. Obviously, this was one study of one group of Goodreads users, so we shouldn't treat it as a universal rule. Still, the number is pretty remarkable.

And it's not just about the authors. The kinds of stories men and women tend to enjoy can be different too.

Books that appeal more to women often focus on relationships, emotional development, what's happening inside the characters' heads, and female protagonists. Books that appeal more to men often focus on external conflict, action, systems and rules, alienation, survival, or simply getting on with the plot.

There are plenty of exceptions, of course.

But here's something I've noticed in the books I've read: a lot of male-authored fiction puts men's struggles and experiences right at the center. When women appear, they can sometimes exist mainly in relation to the male characters — as love interests, wives, mothers, villains, or objects of desire. They're there, but they don't always feel like fully independent people with lives of their own.

Interestingly, I often notice the opposite in female-authored fiction. Men tend to be presented as people in their own right. They have their own problems, fears, ambitions, flaws, and baggage. A man is less likely to be simply a handsome prize that the heroine has to win. He's usually a person with his own story, whether he's helping her or making her life miserable.

That's probably the biggest difference I've noticed. In a lot of the male-authored fiction I've read, women can feel like functional objects inside a man's story. In a lot of the female-authored fiction I've read, men feel more like real people inside a woman's story.

Of course, this isn't true of every book or every writer. There are endless exceptions. I'm talking about a pattern.

So what makes a book appeal equally to men and women?

I'm not sure. The gap sometimes seems too big. But obviously, some books manage to cross it. Harry Potter is an obvious example, especially among younger readers. There are plenty of others.

Maybe the best books simply make us forget about the gender / ethnicity / age of the person telling the story. They give us characters we can recognize as universally human before we recognize them as men or women.

Just my thoughts.

This question is for those of you who have been watching dramas for 15+ years.

I’m watching Love on the Menu (KBS) right now and OMG — the cast, the script, the whole drama feels like it’s from 2017, if not 2012. Is it just me, or is this some kind of retro thing? I cannot shake the feeling that it was filmed years ago. Did they dust it off and put it on TV? 😂 Am I imagining things? Some of these actors — the last time I remember seeing them in a makjang was at least 7 years ago.

For everyone else: if you want to know what dramas used to be like back in the day, this is a prime example. It’s full of clichés, but they’re done right. Is it a good drama? No. By definition, it can’t really be, considering it’s 50 episodes long. 😂 And if they end up marrying the characters off to the wrong people, it’s bound to lose some of its appeal. BUT it feels familiar, and it’s actually interesting to watch. Way better than My Sticky Love, IMO — the script is more developed, and the FL isn’t annoying.

One more thought, if I may. I’m going through a rough period in my life right now — honestly, my life is more dramatic than the three saddest K-dramas put together (family issues, of course). So please don't write anything mean, I cannot handle too much rn. However, I can definitely tell that watching this drama is working as an escape mechanism, almost like a form of therapy.

The main character is a girl who works incredibly hard despite her unfortunate circumstances, while the guy is rich, attentive to detail, and courts her according to all the classic K-drama courtship rules. Of course, none of this is realistic in real life, but it gives me hope that maybe one day everything will be okay.

And I think that’s the whole premise behind Korean dramas. ❤️

I need to vent. I know people say you shouldn't air your dirty laundry in public, but I don't know what else to do. I could really use a sympathetic ear.

I started hating my father as soon as I was old enough to understand the world around me. When I was about seven years old, I asked my mum, "Do you realise our father isn't like other fathers?" She immediately shushed me and told me that this was our family secret and that we must never tell anyone.

When I realised she wasn't going to protect us or change anything, my seven-year-old brain came to a terrible conclusion: if he was the source of everyone's suffering, then maybe he shouldn't be alive. I even tried to act on that thought, although, being seven, I had no real understanding of what killing someone actually meant. Looking back now, I see that it wasn't a child wanting to commit violence, it was a desperate child trying to make the abuse stop.

Don't worry, my father is still alive. I have no intention of harming him. But that childhood hatred never went away.

When I was around fourteen, I was invited to my best friend's birthday party. While I was there, I confided in her mother that my father was a horrible person and that I hated him. I also told her that everyone in my family hated him.

By the time I got home, my friend's mother had already called my mum and asked, "How can your daughter say such horrible things about her father?"

My mum met me at the door and told me I was lucky she had answered the phone instead of my father. If he had found out what I'd said, I would have been beaten, or worse.

I understand why my friend’s mother reacted that way. To friends and neighbours, my father seemed charming, caring, and understanding. The man they saw was completely different from the man we lived with. At home, he was paranoid, violent, and made everyone’s life miserable. That day, I realised that I should never, ever say anything to anyone about my family because people simply wouldn’t understand. And after that, I never did.

By the way, nobody in our family called him "Dad." We called him "he."

The first question anyone asked after coming home was, "Is he home?"

Everyone knew exactly what that meant.

If the answer was "No," we could relax. We could laugh. We could be ourselves.

If the answer was "Yes," I went straight to my room as quietly as possible, trying not to draw any attention to myself.

When my father did something especially horrific, my mum would stop calling him "he" and instead refer to him as "it."

"Is it home?"

Needless to say, I spent as little time at home as I could. As soon as I finished school, I immigrated so I could put as much distance as possible between myself and my family.

Unfortunately, the abuse didn't end there. My father continued abusing my family, and my mum continued telling me about everything he did.

As for my mum, I have very complicated feelings. If my father was the abuser, my mum was the enabler. I will never forgive her for marrying him, and for staying with him for all those years. I asked her how she could allow us to grow up in that environment. I asked why she never left.

Her answer was, "I had very little money. With two small children, I was afraid I wouldn't be able to feed you."

My answer was always the same:

"I'd rather have starved."

Now, many years later, both of my parents are elderly and seriously ill, although my mum is much sicker than my father. She's a two-time cancer survivor.

Despite everything, my father expects me to take care of them. Once a year I go to their house and help with almost everything. In fact, about 95% of the furniture and appliances in their home: the beds, fridge, cooker, sink, toilet, kitchen cupboards, chairs, and much more were bought and replaced many times by me, not by them.

Yet every time I'm there, I have to listen to my father tell me what an ungrateful daughter I am because I moved away and don't care for them enough.

I never say what I'm really thinking. I simply endure it, because in my culture daughters are not supposed to speak back to their fathers.

Has anyone else struggled with the guilt of being expected to care for abusive parents? I'd really appreciate hearing from people who understand.

It's a rom-com ❤️. There's a girl 🍓. There's a guy 🍌. There's a meet-cute 👩‍❤️‍👨. You know the drill.

No sex, so don't keep your hopes up. 🚫🍆🍑
No restrictions.

Just a cute story 🐶

If rom-coms are your favorite genre, I'd love for you to beta read it and provide the following feedback:

1. Overall, what did you think of the play? Did you enjoy reading it? Why or why not?
2. Did the play keep your interest throughout? If not, where did you begin to lose interest, and why?
3. Did the dialogue feel natural and authentic? Were there any lines that stood out, either positively or negatively?
4. What did you think of the ending? Did it feel satisfying? Why or why not?
5. How predictable or original did you find the story?
6. If you could change just one thing to improve the play, what would it be?
7. What rating would you give the play (1–10)?

Please DM.

P.S. I will read your romantic story/novel and provide any feedback you are looking for in return.

Hello everyone.

Do you guys use beta readers? If so, where do you find them, and do you think they're worth it?
I feel like romance is such a specific genre that asking someone who mainly reads horror or mystery for feedback probably isn't the best idea. What has your experience been?

....................................

Edited: they do not allow me to post on the betareades subgroup. Anybody who wants to read a finished romcom script, 8000 words and provide me with general feedback? No sex scenes so don't keep your hopes up.