I need advice
Hi all, M23 here.
I’ll start with some context.
In April 2025, I finally got out of a very unhealthy on-and-off relationship with my ex (M27). We’d been together on and off for around three years, although things didn’t fully end until August 2025.
He left me while my Nana was dying and started seeing someone else after moving back in with his parents on the other side of England. I didn’t know at the time, but he’d started dating a 19-year-old drag performer. While I was begging him to come and see me for support as my Nana was dying, he kept promising he would and even talked about us potentially getting back together. The day she died, he admitted he was with this new guy instead, and I completely fell apart.
A few months later, in November, he was crying on the phone telling me he didn’t think his new relationship was long-term. Things got very messy after that, and when I threatened to tell his boyfriend about some things he’d said, he threatened me with a restraining order. Since then, I’ve had no contact with him.
It took me over a year after the breakup, including six months of no contact, before I felt ready to start dating again.
That’s where my current boyfriend (M25), who I’ll call D, comes in.
We’d been friends for about two years before dating. He’d supported me through a lot of personal issues, including childhood trauma and everything that happened with my ex. I genuinely valued him as a friend long before we became a couple.
We started dating on 16 May. Things felt healthy. We already knew each other well, he was incredibly supportive, paid for dates, had a good social life, and I’d always suspected he’d had a bit of a crush on me. I thought maybe this was the kind of relationship that starts the right way: as friends first.
For the first couple of months, everything was pretty normal. We had the usual minor disagreements about plans, timings, and little relationship things, but nothing major.
Recently, though, something happened that’s really shaken me.
Out of curiosity—and honestly because of the trust issues my ex left me with—I looked through his Discord and noticed his Twitter account was linked. I found a comment he’d left six days after we officially got together under a video of a guy masturbating, saying something like, “I may need to visit where you’re from.”
I confronted him about it. He apologised immediately, deleted his Twitter account, and said he was sorry.
The thing is, I’m struggling to separate what actually happened from the trauma my previous relationship left me with. Part of me knows I probably should have processed everything with my ex more before getting into another relationship, but another part of me is terrified that history is going to repeat itself.
So I guess my question is: now that he’s apologised and taken responsibility, what would you do in my situation? Is this something you’d be able to move past, or would it seriously damage your trust?