This is something that's always perplexed me about my father: We can't ever have a normal, linear conversation about isolated things or events. Everything he says to me is some type of blanket statement or generalization about my character or my entire personhood or life or something; "Why are you so_____" "That's because you're not _____'" "In life, you have to _____" I don't know why we can't just talk about one thing at a time - Nice meal, nice weather, What about this shirt, et al. - Everything has to tie into everything else ALLL the time. It's so strange, and he's allllways pulling everything back to like when I was 6 years old and shit. Ha. Bizarre...

Anyway, I've always wondered if this seemingly bizarre trait has anything to do with his narcness...

Thanks.

This is something that's always perplexed me about my father: We can't ever have a normal, linear conversation about isolated things or events. Everything he says to me is some type of blanket statement or generalization about my character or my entire personhood or life or something; "Why are you so_____" "That's because you're not _____'" "In life, you have to _____" I don't know why we can't just talk about one thing at a time - Nice meal, nice weather, What about this shirt?" et al. - Everything has to tie into everything else ALLL the time. It's so strange, and he's allllways pulling everything back to like when I was 6 years old and shit. Ha. Bizarre...

Anyway, I've always wondered if this seemingly bizarre trait has anything to do with his narcness...

Thanks.

It's both of my parents, really, but my dad, omg - He's sooo bad. He's SOOOO BADDD...

"What's this? What's that? Who's this? Who's that? How does this work? What did you say? What did you say? What did you say??" Omg - He's helpless. Helpless, helpless, helpless - and he's been that way since I was a child. He literally has to proofread a text message, "Thanks, see you at 6" 10x for my mom's approval before he sends it. I don't understand how someone could get by in the world like this...

Does this phenomenon have anything to do with his narcness? What is going on? And, I wonder - what makes him think it's fair to ask his children (mainly me) for EVERY_SINGLE_LITTLE_THING?? Omg... Really struggling with the fact that he's constantly doing damage and simultaneously working with probably a 5yr old emotional state - Really struggling to reconcile the two...

Thnx.

Edit: I just realized something - He's helpless until it's time to SABOTAGE ME! Then he's a mastermind! Master of timing, knows exactly what to say... How can you work to sabotage your own children?? Good Lord, does it get any sicker?

It's both of my parents, really, but my dad, omg - He's sooo bad. He's SOOOO BADDD...

"What's this? What's that? Who's this? Who's that? How does this work? What did you say? What did you say? What did you say??" Omg - He's helpless. Helpless, helpless, helpless - and he's been that way since I was a child. He literally has to proofread a text message, "Thanks, see you at 6" 10x for my mom's approval before he sends it. I don't understand how someone could get by in the world like this...

Does this phenomenon have anything to do with his narcness? What is going on? And, I wonder - what makes him think it's fair to ask his children (mainly me) for EVERY_SINGLE_LITTLE_THING?? Omg... Really struggling with the fact that he's constantly doing damage and simultaneously working with probably a 5yr old emotional state - Really struggling to reconcile the two...

Thnx.

Edit: I just realized something - He's helpless until it's time to SABOTAGE ME! Then he's a mastermind! Master of timing, knows exactly what to say... How can you work to sabotage your own children?? Good Lord, does it get any sicker?

It's really wild watching my parents age. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt cuz they're getting older, but it's as though they literally have been the same people as long as I can remember; still saying the same shit, still putting down their kids in the same way, still the same patterns of gaslighting, like... do narcs never grow up? I'm really struggling to understand this... If anything, their narcness now is completely unhinged - they'll gaslight you in broad daylight - zero filter with anything whatsoever...

Odd.

Help me understand, folks.

Thnx.

Edit: I am OVERWHELMED at the response my little ramble got on here - Thank you so much to everyone who has contributed. I'm sorry so many of y'all have gone through so much bs, but I've truly gained so much insight into my situation from hearing all your stories... Thank you, Community. Be blessed.

It's really wild watching my parents age. I want to give them the benefit of the doubt cuz they're getting older, but it's as though they literally have been the same people as long as I can remember; still saying the same shit, still putting down their kids in the same way, still the same patterns of gaslighting, like... do narcs never grow up? I'm really struggling to understand this... If anything, their narcness now is completely unhinged - they'll gaslight you in broad daylight - zero filter with anything whatsoever...

Odd.

Help me understand, folks.

Thnx.

The process of my parents simultaneously ridiculing me and looking to me for literally everything is starting to really fck with me - especially as they're getting older...

You're still parentifying me and ridiculing me for everything. Like, you never were my parent, and... you still aren't?? You're still my child??

I feel like I've been cheated this entire ride. Like... how am I supposed to make sense of this?

I've always wondered - my dad could be telling me something to save me from sudden death and I swear it would go in one ear and out the other. The only person in my life like that. It's been that way forever. Never did I think till now that his narcness could be connected to this phenomenon...

Anybody have any insight?

Thnx.

This was something I noticed a long while back but recently was hammered home - Literally NOTHING my dad says makes any sense. Like, it's IMPOSSIBLE to have a linear conversation with him. I've tried several times to be like, "No, Dad - We're having a conversation. That means you listen to me and respond, and I listen to you and respond and we have an interaction..." Like, wtf? He literally looks at me bewildered like, "What is this conversation phenomenon you are speaking of??" It's so utterly bizarre - My mom does the same thing, but isn't as bad as my dad. Different kinds of narcs, but very similar. Anyway, I digress...

I've always wondered - my dad could be telling me something to save me from sudden death and I swear it would go in one ear and out the other. The only person in my life like that. It's been that way forever. Never did I think till now that his narcness could be connected to this phenomenon...

Anybody have any insight?

Thnx.