AITA for insisting my brother always pick last?
My parents (65F & 66M) rent a big house every year for a family reunion with all of their kids+spouses and grandkids. (I know, it’s extravagant, and I’m terrified for their financial future, but that’s another convo for another day.) At this time, we have 10 adults and 5 grandchildren:
* ”Alvin” (36M) is married w/o kids, very open about not wanting kids
* ”Simon” (35M) is married w/ two kids (3yo & 6mo), wants more kids
* ”Theo” (32M) is married w/ two kids (8yo & 6yo), very open about not having more kids
* I (38F) am married w/ one kid (6yo), not having any more kids
Perhaps obviously, it’s Alvin that I have insisted should always pick last—when bedrooms are chosen at the rental house.
In 2022, my mom implemented a rotating, age-based picking order:
2022: me, Alvin, Simon, Theo
2023: Alvin, Simon, Theo, me
2024: Simon, Theo, me, Alvin
etc.
But from 2018–2020, Theo always got first pick because he had the only (or the most) kids. No complaints.
I have always disagreed with my mom’s picking order (because equity is better than equality), but I got vocal during the planning of the 2023 reunion because Simon’s wife was pregnant for the first time (AND THEN GAVE BIRTH at a hospital DURING THE ACTUAL REUNION). I think the picking order (since 2023, and for the foreseeable future) should be Simon, Theo, me, then our parents or Alvin. At this time, grandkids sleep in the same room as their respective parents, but eventually the plan is to have all the grandkids in the same room, like a slumber party … but not for a few more years, depending on how many kids Simon & his wife end up having.
But Alvin & his spouse HATE my picking order. My parents have always insisted on picking last, but Alvin is my mom’s favorite (they are like 2 peas in a pod), so she low-key also hates my picking order. Dad wishes we would all just shut up about it in the group chat. lol My spouse says I should drop the issue and just keep giving Simon my spot when advantageous. Simon & his wife never ask or assume, but they always thank me for giving them my spot.
Now, I understand that always picking last would suck for Alvin (especially without an end in sight) and the rest of us chose to have kids, but Alvin & his spouse:
* never give up their picking spot (fine, but annoying)
* consistently pick the biggest room with the attached bathroom (annoying)
* have three sources of income—two FT salaries and a long-term rental property (Simon, Theo, & I are currently single-income households for a variety of reasons, and not by choice)
* are in excellent physical health due to their specific line of work (every other couple currently has one person with temporary or permanent mobility issues)
And so I just don’t think Alvin & his spouse need any accommodating in room selection at family reunions!
Hopefully that’s enough but not too much context. AITA for repeatedly advocating for my (perhaps unfair but IMO needs-based) picking order??
ETA: The rental house has 5 bedrooms, each bedroom has a king bed, two bedrooms have attached bathrooms (four bathrooms total), and the room dimensions vary in size. Only the grandkids are sleeping on the floor/couch. lol
ETA: My spouse and I love our kid. We do not wish we were child-free.