u/Feeling_Credit_1439

Hey, so basically I need some advice/suggestion for a situation of mine. I'm 19(m) and um I recently I had a wet dream. So basically my domestic help lady has been with me and my parents since toward end/last quarter of 2023. She was with us till 2025 and left in 2025 dont remember when exactly. She returned in Nov 2025 and has been with us since. I've been speaking and chatting with her u know basically getting to know her and what not since when she came back in Nov. My wet dream was about her and in it I was apparently kissing her on the lips (embarrassed to say it but well have to or else how am I gonna get advise) When I woke up it felt real (very real) to the extent that I felt in my lips that it had occurred. So basically question is that should I tell her about my dream or keep quiet? I don't want to unnecessarily cause problems between us. To me she's a good girl at heart and that what's most important to me so I don't want to trouble her/hurt her in any way. Whatever advice u guys give pls make sure that its advice in which she does not get troubled/hurt. Thanks.

Hey, so I've been in a bit of a mess. I'm 19(m) and looking for some help. I'm new to reddit.

Basically rn I'm not living in the country I was born/am from family wise in and have not visited there since 13 years. Won't get much into the why but long story short, family can be a blessing or a curse and when the country is filled with corruption its even worse.

I've been living in my country since 18' end 19'startish. I was living in a gated community from Feb ish 2023 to Oct 2024. Fam aka parents had bought a plot there inside the gated community in 2022. I had started playing tennis from Feb-Mar 2023 and there I had 2 primary students/colleagues. One of them the first I met her/saw her I got attracted to her. I have not told her but want to. The thing is that I'm a Muslim not really religious and that girl I assume is Christian so I imagine yall know the emotions that can get stirred up when its that sort of situation. I come from a religious not ultra religious family. I'm a only child so I can imagine u guys can imagine the emotions that can get stirred up from this sort of situation. My parents are aware of this situation/of my feelings and they dont like it at least based on their reaction. I moved out from that gated community in Oct 2024 as I mentioned above and I was not happy when we moved and I expressed my displeasure/uncomfortableness at the decision. We still have not gone back at least not primarily living there but I plan living there again as my primary residence when we go back.

I myself am mixed in terms of religiosity. I'm not very religious with the rituals but am spiritually religious. I'm of the opinion that when ur genuinely good hearted, God makes a way. I'm of the opinion that God does not care or is affected by our level of ritualistic devoutness and pays attention to our overall actions in life. ''What we do in life echoes in eternity''. I get my above mentioned opinion from Marcus Aurelius's quotes/paraphrases of his quotes. I'm a big believer in Stoicism and Stoic philosophy and believe Stoicism is highly compatible with Islamic teachings and the way God wants us to live our lives. Not just Marcus Aurelius, Seneca, Epictetus, Zeno, Cicero. Even Plato, Aristostle, Socrates can be added.

Now, I'm fully aware of the risks associated with being in an interfaith relationship but I also do not want to live a life of fear and regret. I do not want to make promises that I know I won't be able to keep. I do not want to promise that I'll only marry or like Muslim girls and more specifically Muslim girls from my specific Muslim community which is small in number around a million people based on google search I did and that too scattered around multiple continents. I want to live a free life, but also a life that along with freedom I can give respect to people around me, fam, friends etc. I believe there are multiple ways to reach God. God has a name in every language, God in English, Dios in Spanish, Allah in Arabic, Dieu in French and so on and so forth. I don't want to break with my family so please save yourself the time and don't mention breaking with my family cuz that's not something I want to do. I consider that a sin.

My reason to dislike when we moved out from the gated community was not just this situation, it was another reason as well but I don't think its relevant to my post but if u guys want I can say that reason too.

As I mentioned above, I have not visited my country of birth/where my family is from since 13 years so I also feel that if my extended family from my country of birth and the extended family/cousins that are in other countries and family in general come to know about this, their of course going to have their opinions. I imagine the elders will not like it but I also don't want to let their opinions and certain community expectations which yall know how it can get dictate my life. The Muslim community I come from like I mentioned is small so it also which can be for good or ill, family members/cousins can get involved into each other's lives so basically if I'm with outside faith girl even if it's Abrahamic religion they can and might get involved and u know try to talk me out of it or talk my parents into convincing me to stay within the community which is something I don't feel I can honor my commitment because I was not expecting when I moved to the gated community that I'd get attracted to a girl. Basically my fear/worry I don't want my relationship choices to strain my relationship with my fam, parents and cousins/relatives. Another thing is that and this could be just my fear or maybe its genuine (God knows best) that since I have not visited my country of birth/where family is from where since 13 years so the elders like my grandparents may feel that I'm disconnected to the family and community. Where I live, there's next to none in my community. Reason why I'm saying all this stuff about my family is so that u guys know clearly of my situation in this regard.

Same thing with non family community people but same thing there that I don't want to let their opinions and certain expectations dictate my life. Same thing where I want to be respectful while living my life freely developing my relationship with God.

Thanks in advance and looking forward to seeing ur advice/help. May God bless you all.