How to get over an annoying crush/ex friend situation
TLDR: got blocked after asking a very new friend out, frustrated at the circumstances surrounding it, unsure on what to do moving forward and how to just move on in general
Okay so I (21M) met these two guys Asher (28M) and Riven (32M) off of a discord sever for making friends a couple months back. It was a really nice thing too because it wasn’t like city/state specific and we all lived in the same city and Asher and riven met on the server like two days ago and we’re making plans for the next day to hangout for the first time and they invited me.
It was the start of what I thought would be like a nice three person friend group. I was also extra happy about it it because Riven helped me get a job at the place he’s a facilities manager for after it’s slow season, and I was REALLY looking for a new college part time job. We seem to all really hit it off when we hung out. We even made further plans to play DnD. I’m just, so happy and optimistic about this because this is like the best case scenario from meeting people on a server like that.
However, Riven is a pretty bad texter and had some rough life circumstances going on, he cancelled on us and ghosted a bit after frequent cancelling. Later on, Asher asked him out, he said yeah he’d like that and ghosted him. Asher saw him in person later too and Riven said “sorry I just got overwhelmed from talking to you”. Asher’s pretty over trying to be friends with riven at this point and In this time as well Asher and I grow closer because of all this.
I also had a crush on riven but never said anything about it. Now Like two months pass, I start working at the shop. I see him, things are nice & fine and we’re pretty jokey with each other. I make no mention of the ghosting/planning. However since we’re in different departments and at different levels, our interaction are very brief.
So, I try to hangout with him outside of work, because yk I want to see what’s there and short work interactions aren’t much, I haven’t seen him most of the time I’ve been there. texting goes slowly as expected but things still look good because after not responding to my text, he sees me in person later that week saying. “Things are crazy rn, I’ll get back to your text, we should make plans”. So then this kinda goes on for weeks because he keeps cancelling and asking to reschedule. Some of the same things that were happening when we met him are still effecting him and I’m sympathetic of course because it’s stuff like cancer treatment and a family member in the hospital.
But it just goes on for like 5 weeks, I’m sympathetic but I’m just kinda annoyed that a simple meet somewhere talk eat hangout has been so hard to schedule. On this last week, I ask him if he’d want to make our latest reschedule day a date actually. He doesn’t respond and I wait for the day of our rescheduled hangout, I ask if we’re still on for the day and he sends a whole thing rejecting me saying that he doesn’t think it’d be appropriate with his age and his position at work. Which is fair, and i ask if he’d still want to hangout as friends, doesn’t respond and two days later I send a question mark text bc I’ve had to do that a couple times days after a question to get him to respond. Then I find out I’m blocked
Now I’m just so frustrated because I’m not mad at him for not wanting to date me (I was kinda expecting like a 90% chance of being rejected) but it was after 5 weeks of trying to hangout. It just feels like everything before and my whole existence as a person just meant nothing to him. Asher has been consistently saying we already knew he was a dick but I guess I was just optimistic despite how disrespectful of our time he was. Now I’m just annoyed asf bc I had this whole expectation we would at least be friends, and I really like working there too. And the last time I saw him he was “busy” the whole time and i feel like that’s just going to be how it is moving forward. Him conveniently being busy anytime he sees me now without even greeting eachother, and im just like damn. I haven’t seen him since then which was a week ago.
It’s been souring things, I love working there but half the time now I get angry in my head over how I wrong I feel like he is. And how annoyed i am that his perception of me must be that I was only trying to fuck him. And now, thats it. That potential friendship just down the gutter.
I dunno, how do I get past this. I want to see if I can somehow fix things in person but that doesn’t seem likely. How do I stop getting annoyed with his ordeal and just, stop caring and not let it affect me bc I rlly do love working there.