u/Few-Astronaut1417

Boa tarde,

Queria saber a vossa opinião sobre a app Oscar e se alguém já usou os serviços, estou a pensar contratar alguém para vir cá a casa fazer limpezas, e tem sido muito difícil encontrar na minha zona alguém de confiança e que limpe como deve de ser, a senhora que costuma cá vir não faz o trabalho 100% em condições e nós temos de ao fim de semana tirar sempre um bom bocado do nosso tempo para fazer a limpeza.

Obrigado pela vossa ajuda

Hi everyone

I’m a grown man and I still feel emotionally trapped by my relationship with my mother.

We had an argument tonight over something small, but it completely destroyed me mentally. The problem is that it’s never really about the small thing. It’s years of feeling like I could never disagree with her without guilt, manipulation, emotional pressure or being treated like I’m against her.

She always needs to be right. Everything has to be her way. If you disagree, she takes it personally. I grew up learning to avoid conflict at all costs, and now as an adult I realize how much that affected me.

I lie or avoid saying what I really think because I’m terrified of hurting people or causing conflict. Even in my marriage, where I know I’m safe and loved, I still struggle with honesty and confrontation sometimes (even though I know they’re lies that don’t affect my relationship in the slightest, they’re still lies and it’s still wrong). I hate that about myself.

I also feel socially weak outside my close circle. Sometimes I freeze in conversations, overthink every interaction, and feel like I never learned how to be a confident adult.

The worst part is that I love my mother. She’s basically my only direct family (my dad died 10 years ago) besides my wife. But I’m scared that as life moves forward, especially if I become a father someday, the distance between us will only grow because I don’t want this dynamic around my future family.

Recently I’ve started realizing how much my childhood environment shaped me, and honestly it’s overwhelming. Last week I cried alone at night for no clear reason. I think I’m emotionally exhausted.

I’m planning to start therapy soon, but I wanted to ask:
Has anyone else gone through something similar with a parent?
How did you stop feeling guilty for setting boundaries and finally become emotionally stronger?