u/Few-Bonus9517 — reddlx

Cmon at least make me cry every day. r/fortlauderdale mod only made me cry ONCE.

What's up with with all these parents trying to absorb other people's children? This happens to me all the time. One time I was in the riverwalk bathroom in Chicago and a woman reached under from the adjoining stall and tapped my leg and said, "Get off your phone! People are waiting." And I said, hey I'm taking a shit. And she said no you're not, your legs are crossed. And I said yes I am, I have wide hips and I shit cross legged all the time. If this happened today, I would've started yelling about peeping Tom and threaten to call the popo. But I took YMCA acting classes, and must I say I was a great 8 year old Wicked Witch of the West, except when I scratched the face paint off. And you know what they say, they give the villain roles to the best actors ;), so I start to ham it up and cry, and tell her about my IBS and how it's a big insecurity for me, I think she really believed me because she shut up and got out real fast. And you know what, I WAS taking a shit, and on my phone.

It doesn't help that I'm a small girl and look about 10 years younger than I am. But apparently Ariana Grande had her memory erased at the "Happy Days Clinic", I should sign up for that and make those horrible 10 years poof, say I dropped out of high school and spawned in Miami. When I dropped off my car at the valet last week, he didn't want to take it, "Why are your parents booking you hotel alone?" Anyway I am probably several dozen millenia years old.

These parents must have some sort of complex because their iPad kids suck. When I was in LA the Sicilian psychic who does the celebrities gave me the big hug and "Welcome to the family!", I thought that was her tactic to get people to sign up or that she was just really Italian, but then she had a hissyfit when I wouldn't sleep over at her house. Anyway I don't trust witchwomen

Well, at least all that noise is better than being accused of being a prostitute, despite it's all the girls in groups dressing like one, hey it's not my fault I roll up alone, Youtube ai video told me im a "Sigma Female"

How to erase my entire memory, and everyone else's on earth, and start a new timeline?