This post is for my ates and kuyas sana in this field. Ano po ba yung mga skills na dapat I master or magkaroon na ng idea about sa bsce ngayong summer palang para di na ako masiyadong ma shock or mahirapan sa incoming years? Like yung mga tools or yung manual drafting, mas may advantage ba If aaralin ko na yan ngayon?
So with a friend's help I was able to realize that I can't really go on with life feeling like there's something unfinished between us, so I decided to finally text him after 6 days of no contact. He told me what he really felt now and during the no contact days. He told me that I was suffocating him by being too logical every time we have arguments and realizations started kicking in after that. While stuck with the feeling that I really did make him feel that he wasn't safe every time he shared his emotions, I came across a video on tiktok that really helped me understand what my partner wants. During arguments, it was not about how right one person is and how wrong the other, it was always about how you made them feel during the argument. Most of the time they know that you're right and they're wrong but you really don't need to shove it in their face. Proving how right you are doesn't really help because what your partner wants is to just feel whatever emotions they are feeling right now without it being analyzed. I deeply regret treating him like how I treat myself when I am in pain. I thought it would work but yeah we all have different coping mechanisms. And just because you had the same struggle with them before, doesn't really mean that your ways are applicable to them.
Now we're in a cool off (not a break up) but we decided to come back to each other when we are ready to try again. He reassured me that he's just taking a break from it because he's already drained from all the arguments that we had and I respect his decision. He needed the time to heal himself first but I assured him that if he is ready to come back, I'll always be waiting for him while also improving myself. I don't know when this will end but I hope when we're back to our regular routine, it will be stronger, healthier, and better.
This guy I'm involved with rn still sends me stickers like nudge for our streak which has been going on for 500+ days. Eventually all the restores would be used and I'm debating over whether to send him a sticker back to keep our streak but to also not send a single message to him even if it's for streak on tiktok. I should probably do the latter because I am really into the no contact rn. Sending even a sticker feels like I've broken it. Haha. I'll update once all the restores are used up but what do you guys think?
I am having the urge to break it first but then remembered the disrespect so yeah not gonna happen. Still going strong.
I don't even know what to feel. I feel physical pain in my heart but I can't cry. He was done. And I don't think we're ever going back together. I don't know what to do after this.