My bipolar ass
It blows me away that when my daughter was younger, we always had people around. Her friends, my friends, her dad’s friends. Cookouts, random hangouts, everybody piled up at the river all summer long just playing in the water and laying in the sun. I used to love the chaos of it all. The noise, the kids, the people, all of it.
Now my kid’s grown with her own family. Which means her friends are grown too, living their own lives. And here I am... just me in the house with two dogs realizing I really don’t have any friends LOL.
Well... that’s not completely true. I do have friends. I just apparently suck at the maintenance part of friendship because I don’t always wanna be on the phone, text all day, or constantly socialize 😭
And now I’ve found myself in this lovely little predicament where my car doesn’t run at the moment and I’ll be damned if it doesn’t suddenly make you realize how small your circle really is when you can’t find a single person to help with a ride.
So now my bipolar ass is trying to figure out if I actually want friends or if I just wanna be left alone until I need human interaction again 😂 Because the truth is, friendships can’t only exist on my terms. I gotta show up for people too.
And it’s not that I don’t want to... I just genuinely don’t always have the energy for all the extra drama and emotional upkeep that comes with people sometimes.