53F and 53M
53F trying to understand partner’s cross-dressing and whether I should talk about it
I (53F) have been dating my partner (53M) for about 13 months.
A few months ago, during an intimate encounter where I was blindfolded and bound , I became aware that he was wearing women’s lingerie and heels. He doesn’t know that I know, and I haven’t brought it up because I get the sense that it’s something very private for him.
Outside of this, he presents as a fairly traditional, reserved, heterosexual man. He has never discussed cross-dressing with me, and I’ve never asked him about it.
The reason I’m looking for advice is that our relationship has some other challenges. After more than a year together, I still haven’t met any of his family or close friends. He also tends to be quite private about parts of his life, and lately he seems to be pulling away emotionally.
I’m not bothered by the cross-dressing itself. What I’m struggling with is understanding whether this is simply a private interest, or whether it might be connected to his general reluctance to be open and vulnerable with me.
For those who cross-dress themselves, or who have been in relationships with someone who does:
How important is privacy around it?
Is it common to keep it completely separate from the rest of your life and relationships?
If a partner accidentally became aware of it, how would you want them to approach the conversation?
What’s the best way to create a safe environment for someone to discuss it if they choose to?
I’m interested in hearing people’s experiences and perspectives, particularly from those who have personal experience with cross-dressing or have had a partner who does.