10 days actively dying
Update: my mamaw passed away peacefully about 7 hours after I made this post. I feel like now I can grieve the way I need to. Thank you for everyone’s kind words and support. Anyone going through this, I hope you know you’re not alone and that no matter the process there will be peace in the end. ❤️
My mamaw has been actively dying for about 10 days now. This is brutal and feels never ending.. I just want her to be at peace and let go, but I also understand it needs to be on her own terms.
She of course, has not had fluids or food in over a week. Her mouth is consistently open with her tongue hanging out and it is purple in color.
She has been unconscious since last week as well.
She has had a fever along with her blood pressure dropping fairly low.
It has just gone to a point where it is agonizing watching her go through this. Hospice nurses are saying she is comfortable. But I can’t help but think that she is in a torturous mental state. She had so much trauma throughout her life, well also causing a lot of pain and trauma to her children and grandchildren. We’ve all told her we forgive her love her and we’re also sorry for anything we may have done. We told her it’s OK for her to go and be with papaw (her husband) who has already crossed over.
I just can’t help but think that she is not letting go due to unresolved trauma and family issues which is truly heartbreaking.