I need Help, dear god I need Help.
For context I am a sophomore in high school and have maintained honor roll my entire academic life. English has always been my worst subject, and I mean no offence to any teachers I have yet to meet when I say that out of 5 teachers that I genuinely hated, 4 of them where English teachers. I have dyslexia, ADHD, chronic depression, both social and normal anxiety, extremely low self esteem and worth, and a nasty habit of masking almost all of that all the time to please other people.
I have an assignment that currently I can not figure out. I have asked for help from my teacher but I just can't learn anything from her. her teaching style falls into a dead zone for me. I have put almost 100 hours into this dam paper, I have rewrote it 7 time so far; and in total the grade went from a 56 to a 74. I need it to get at least an 87 to pass this class.
The amount of stress that this one assignment has imposed on me, almost had me attempting suicide, and not the "oh, maybe I should just die." almost attempting suicide, but a "I was actively tying a noose when I had a panic attack so bad that I couldn't move for 10 minutes and in that time I talked myself out of it" almost attempting suicide
I know that this assignment shouldn't be worth all that stress, and that my half a credit is both disposable and repeatable. But its not the assignment or the credit that's making me feel like that. Its the feeling of not being enough, not living up to the mask I so confidently wear around others, and the fear of making others worry about me. Since I cant fix any of those problems right now, It would be great if any of you could give me any tips on the dumb MLA format so I can actually work on what I *can* fix.
Specifically I have been told that my writing is "unorganized" and that my "ideas are cluttered even if the info is there" so any crumbs for those would be greatly apricated.
I will finish this assignment, and while under other circumstances I would also say "even if it kills me." that is not the goal right now.
Ps. I have already got rid of that rope and any sharp objects around my work station and room so please don't worry, (hearing others worry about me makes it so much worse so please don't try and comfort me right now and if you do keep it brief. I promise that I will get help, I really will. But even just writing all of this out without a face or a voice tied to it makes me hate myself for having to ask for help.) My friends haven't seen the last of me yet! and I plan on keeping it that way!