u/Few-Mall-52

Is there really no way to go back to the original item after trying to do a substitution?

Okay a little back story.

I F40 and my friend we will call her Sarah F40 have been friends for 18 years. We have had many many bumps in our friendship.

This most recent span of friendship is the only one I’m worried about. So back up to last year my birthday was in September and I was turning the big 40 and was not very happy about it. I had told her and my family I wanted to go out of town/state way in advance.

Family included my daughter and one other person. Sarah had agreed to go and was excited. She said she would start saving for her room. Month go by and we are still making plans and getting excited. Well two weeks before the trip she backs out with the excuse of money.

Understandable and I wasn’t mad. A bit upset that my best friend wouldn’t be there but ultimately I understood. Well her money issues also made it where she said she couldn’t get me a gift. Again. Totally understandable, we’ve all been there.

Until the day before my birthday she told me she was taking a guy out for his birthday. The same guy that’s been rejecting her and friend zoning her for years. She just thinks if she buys him things or takes him out that he will give in.

That where it kinda rubbed me wrong. Not because I didn’t get a gift more so the principle that she said she couldn’t afford to do anything with her best friend but this guy comes around and it’s the biggest deal ever. (Shocker: they still aren’t together.)

Second this past weekend was Mother’s Day. I have one kid and for the first time in the 20 years she’s been alive we weren’t goin to get to see each other. Her job had her out of state.

Sarah’s family throws a lot of family gatherings. Like someone farts a special way and family gathering. I get invited to all of the since 18 years we have basically became a big family.

Sarah knew how sad I was not getting to see my daughter but didn’t invite me to the Mother’s Day thing/ broke off plans we had for the day before Mother’s Day as well. I kinda understood because they said it was a small family thing and I assumed it would’ve the immediate family.

The actual reason? She invited a guy she had never met to the gathering. Her first time meeting him was bringing him around everyone in her family.

Lastly we have had plans for two weeks for this weekend. She just canceled them because the guy she met last week is a carpenter and is doing free labor at her son’s house to hang out with her.

End of back story. Her birthday is next weekend and honestly I don’t want to go. I don’t want to buy her anything. I don’t want to do anything for her. I can’t afford to buy some elaborate gift that I know she’s expecting.

Plus all the things she’s kinda missed/chose a guy over me for Mae’s me question why I even would. So would I be an asshole if I made up some excuse and didn’t go?