u/Few-Opportunity-8297

Mine is suggesting she has exclusive tickle rights, but can only use it for defense (to escape being pinned) not offense. I'm still weighing whether she gets this privilege, she's wily and has been known to use her powers for evil on occasion.

It'd be fun to give her a bit more of a shot without just straight throwing a match. So I'll probably say yes though it's still not going to be enough.

Also curious if there's any specific thing you do/don't do to keep from hurting her on accident. The biggest constraint I currently have is exactly that: using enough force to break a hold she tries without hurting her.

I initially asked on the sex subreddit and one of you kind people DMed me that I'd get better answers here and assured me that my wife's desires do indeed fit this subreddit. You be the judge?

My wife (45F) has recently let me (46M) know how important it is to her that I initiate sex and that we broaden out and try new things.

Sometimes she has tried to talk during sex, saying, "Please" or "Don't stop" and I find it kind of silly and haven't responded. I really don't talk at all during sex, but it's clear she finds that exciting. It just feels odd to try. (Does any verbal expression of sexual desire count as "dirty talk"? It startles me that it might--neither of us would be into anything crass or disrespectful. Like I said, pretty vanilla.)

She shared a fantasy with me for the first time a few weeks ago and it was a huge deal for her. I have a hard time being present in it. I mean, we're here now! I do try to talk and imagine it with her when she asks but I'm pretty stilted.

I would describe myself as uninhibited, confident, secure, open and free in every category but sex, and she agrees.

She thinks it could be about letting myself be vulnerable, and I hope so, because I'd like to give her more of what she wants and for sex to be more exciting. She points out that I've been an RPG gamemaster for 20 years so I clearly have imagination and storytelling.

I also do venue security as one of my gigs. I have natural authority and I am good at taking non-authoritarian control of a situation and keeping it from turning violent (though on rare occasions I do have to take someone down).

She says that's hot and she'd like those things to come out in the bedroom. For me to take charge during sex. That she'd find it exciting to be dominated a little. To get a sense of power from me, to surrender despite herself.

How do I take small steps in experimenting with this so it can feel authentic rather than ridiculous?

To be clear, she's definitely going to want me to be gentle with her still, and pain would not be fun for either of us. So we may be too tame for you to have much advice. . . but after being encouraged to ask I decided to try. You miss 100% of the shots you don't take.