AITA for cracking and sensitive jokes about myself…
I 31f i’m pregnant with twins. This will be my third pregnancy. My last two have been horrible. My first pregnancy ended in a stillborn baby girl. And my second ended in preeclampsia where I had to have an emergency C-section at 29 weeks. Ended up with a nicu baby that weighed a 1 lbs. 11 oz. After this pregnancy, I am done!!! my husband, and I both decided that it’s best that I have a tubal ligation. Essentially, I’m getting my tubes tied, but I am choosing the option of burning them. I’m cauterizing my tubes. We hadn’t told anybody up until recently that we were deciding that.
My husband and I kind of make jokes about our past experience and traumas. I know some folks that’s weird and insensitive for our ourselves. But we laugh about it still. My brother and sister-in-law are also the same way as we are. They are currently having issues conceiving a child. Instead of taking it overly sensitive, they cracked jokes about it, which is fine. I think everybody kind of makes jokes about themselves, which is kind of normal. I feel like there’s tons of people that do that.
But my mother-in-law and the other hand thinks just because we make jokes about ourselves that it’s OK for her to crack jokes about us and our situation. She makes very insensitive jokes that are kind of crossing the line. She always tells my brother-in-law “ you should find a new wife because this one can’t give you kids” and laughs about it. And she always tells me “I’m praying that you’re tub tie fails cause I need more grandchildren you need to give me another boy” Knowing damn well that if I get pregnant again after this pregnancy, it could be very risky for me.
I ended up cracking a joke right afterwards about that I said “fuck no I’m burning these motherfuckers FTK” ( fuck them kids) I turn around and I give my husband one of those hell yeah you understand me handshakes laughing about it and he was also laughing. My brother and sister-in-law thought it was kind of funny seeing those joke about it cause they know how we are. And for some odd reason, my mother-in-law found it so offensive she started crying and called me an asshole for it. At the time, my father-in-law was playing with our son. He came over and asked what was going on and why she was crying.
My husband started explaining what was going on, and my brother-in-law also told him about the joke that she said about him finding a new wife. My father-in-law kinda was sympathetic with us and understood. But turned to me and told me that I was an asshole, making fun about choosing not to have any more children. I asked why I didn’t say a joke about her like the way she was joking about our situations. He said, cause she never had the choice to stop having kids that she was told that if she kept having kids, she could possibly die. She had preeclampsia with my husband and gestational diabetes with my brother-in-law. I was told that the next pregnancy could possibly end up harming her.
But I don’t understand why I’m the asshole she was cracking jokes about me, possibly almost dying with another pregnancy and telling my brother-in-law to find a new wife. It’s like he doesn’t want to get onto her about that but wants to get onto me about a joke that I made about myself. So am I an asshole for that joke?