u/Few-Scratch6602

I have badly hurt myself two years ago with a razor. It left few scars that I hate so much and try to avoid all the time. Now whenever I'm agitated i just push my nails into it and try to hurt myself there even more to make it bleed and I guess I kinda overdid it now cause I'm skinny and any small injury makes me bleed and this is well a lot more so it's kinda scary. Blood makes me dizzy but I also kinda feel relieved to see that I'm dying. Idk I'm crazy but it's actually hurting so much, I can't tolerate the itching even cleaning and stuff doesn't remove the sting.

I have been nauseous for quite sometime now, usually I used to throw up when there was any strong smell around and it gets overwhelming for me. It can be from any string fragrance to smell from waste. It was hard for me to travel to places with a lot of garbage and waste. Usually it makes me triggered and I throw up. This makes me super nauseous. This is from 3-4 years now , not so common but like only in past two years it has become more frequent.

Now recently it has gotten so worse that I have begun to throw up everyday now after eating food, it happens everytime I eat. I'm feeling very depressed about it. I feel like it's acid reflux, I have been to a doctor and took some meds for it but they couldn't stop my vomitting much. I know some part of it has to do with anxiety too cause it has left me kinda traumatized now and and I get more and more afraid to eat stuff even when I'm hungry. I feel weak and like I'm kind of just losing my will to live because of this and other mental health issues I face. I don't what to do honestly cause it's like even my body is giving up on me but instead of giving me a quick painless death, I'm just dying in a slow painful manner. If anyone has any suggestion or thoughts then please suggest something. Thank you!