u/FewNefariousness5939

I met this friend in 7th grade after changing schools, but we only got close in 9th/10th. At the time I was struggling a lot socially and personally, and after a breakdown at school I basically clung onto her because I had nobody else. I know I was overly attached and probably annoying back then, but eventually we genuinely became close and helped each other through a lot.

After 10th grade we went to different places she went to junior college and I continued in school we drifted naturally, and our friendship changed. I accepted that. We still talked occasionally, met sometimes, wished each other on birthdays, etc. The issue is that she constantly promises things and never follows through.

She’ll say we should meet, set a date, then cancel after I ask about it mind you AFTER. not even a thought would get to her ? That is be waiting? Instances like this has happened multiple times over the years. Recently I invited her to my sibling’s wedding when we had finally met after this back n forth she said she’d come, didn’t show up, Then asked for reception details a few days later and the reception was THE NEXT DAY and still didn’t come. No explanation, no acknowledgment after either. She just pretended like nothing happened.

The confusing part is that whenever we do talk, normally it feels alr we connect and are ourselves

she insists she cares about me emotionally and worries about me, and I believe and I know she means it. She's the kind of girl that would be avoidant even if she misses someone. But to me, repeatedly making promises and not following through feels disrespectful, especially when it keeps happening.

I’m not upset that we drifted apart or that we’re not best friends anymore. I’ve accepted that friendships change any sane person would. What hurts is the constant inconsistency and lack of accountability.

Now she's gonna leave for uni to another place and I asked her if we could meet before she goes and that's when I'll maybe tell her how I feel

At times I do get mad and feel like cutting her off but keeping in touch not very close like removing her from my spam account but I just can get myself to because I just want her there like we've been together and helped each other through a lot at times I'm completely detached from her without beef but then I feel sad

Am I overreacting for feeling hurt by this?

Sorry if this is too long

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hi,

let me get straight into this. So I met this friend when I changed schools (7th grade) and we didn't really talk but 9th grade we started speaking. I had like a close friend before this but she drifted off and I practically didn't have many friends I was kinda trolled but one day when both home and school got difficult I broke down in the class and ran to the restroom one day and the teacher asked if I'd want a friend so I had nobody in mind so she was my best bet.

Again, most of my classmates made fun of me for that too After that I started hanging around her as much as I could and tried to include myself in her friend group (which was annoying) and they used to tease me.

But then 10th grade i was kinda low-key she also didn't speak to many people because she was also going through something so one day we just sat together and we became friends and then started getting closer she said that I had "changed" and I wasn't like before (clingy and annoying) then we help each other through everything. We got really close.

Grade 10 was over and she went to junior college it's was a popular choice and I continued in high school 11th and 12th

She's the kind of girl who would mingle and socialise with everyone and we kind of drifted apart.

During the holidays between 10th grade and we would hang out and there was this insensitive thing I said (I don't remember what) and she felt bad I noticed it and apologized I don't remember if I apologised but I definitely noticed and asked if she was okay. She said she was fine. At the time I hadn't thought about it. I would always want to be on call and FaceTime but obviously that was kind of uncomfortable for her I get that thing is she was my whole world at the time and she didn't think of me like that obviously I accepted that this was my bad. As usual like any other friendship we drifted apart I was going through shit and she wasn't there when she promised she would. We stopped talking online too but then later we had a big conversation and learnt that this was a communication issue she never told me she felt bad and I never told her that I needed her atm

Things were fine

I obviously didn't expect us to be best buddies but at least friends that look out for each other.

Then there was this in between phase we were fine would occasionally reply to stories call on birthdays talk normally etc etc etc...

Then fast forward we've graduated and going to uni she's moving to a different city for it

So we still talk but like there's this thing she does where she says she's gonna meet up or she promises something but never follows up

Now I totally get that friendships aren't meant to last forever, they're there to complete and or help you through that part of your life or whatever and holding on to this wouldn't make any sense

Just because she does this promising and not fulfilling doesn't mean she doesn't care she said and meant that she does emotionally care and worry for me she's even gotten to tears while saying all of this when we were talking my point Is why do you not acknowledge anything then ? If you do care so much? I've seen reels where she's liked that she's avoidant n all and but still loves the other person and stuff in this genre she would be like,

Heyy I'm kinda caught up right now I'll call back later (she maybe burnt out) I had even stopped calling a her a lot cuz I realised I was being a pain we were good

Life went on whatever she still kind of was the same

Recently I had asked her to give me something of mine she had and she said the date time and then only. after. I asked her she told me she had plans and wouldn't be able to give it this happens **MULTIPLE** times even before this instance

Once we finally meet she gives it to me and we see each other after a long time ( I had deactivated my account and wasn't talking to anyone at all ) everytime wed meet it was fine but then again same thing would happen

so my sibling was getting married so I had given her the invite that day and she said oh yes see you there!

she didn't show up at the wedding.

I then get a text asking when and where is the reception she said she lost the invite I sent her the venue and the date, IT WAS THE NEXT DAY. she was like hey I can't come with my mum so I'm getting out friend I said ok

And again, she didn't show up. I thought maybe she would apologise or say something about why she didn't show up etc etc I accepted a long time ago that we aren't going to be friends forever any sane person would. But everytime she does this I feel hurt and disrespected and now I'm the one who's acting like a crazy bitch not getting over a god damn friendship

I thought oh maybe she's just tired of me but were both sensible and I don't think I do anything to annoy her or whatever

I along the way found the best best best friend ever and she's an angel and she's found her people too

My point is promising something and **NOT following IS FRICKING DISRESPECTFUL TO ME.** I wouldn't mind it but it's happened multiple times and I don't like it.

So I have this one last attempt to tell her about it I asked her when shes moving and asked her if we can meet properly she said yes and that's when I'll tell her maybe

**SO SORRY IF THE POST IS LONG I THOUGHT IT'D BE BETTER IF YOU GUYS KNOW THE CONTEXT**

Anyone who opted for the allied health sciences I heard that it's in the new kinya campus is anyone here from that campus how is it ?