NEED ADVICE.
I was seeing a a guy for about three months. It was going really well. This was my first id say relational dynamic in my 20s. Im 26 female and him 29 male. Connection was there and everything seemed well.
I would say im somewhat anxiously attached so for some reason kept asking questions about his ex and past even though I had no reason to. Just my insecurity. He was always open. I then researched his family and told him about it and he didn’t say anything until I asked him a playful question like ‘what do you even like about me’ which seemed to trigger him and he said that if I cannot see through his efforts what I like then there are doubts. He did put in a lot of effort to be fair. He said it is exhausting because when I ask questions like this (I have before) it is like I need validation.
We ended up arguing and he withdrew and said he wants to end this dynamic and also brought up the searching of his family and said he feels like I want to know everything about him immediately and that trust has to be earnt. I tried to apologise and fix it but he told me Id find someone more aligned. He said I had crossed his boundaries.
He treated me well and it is a shame it did not work, but I also cannot chase. I did take accountability.
I am learning to self-soothe and not seek validation through others now.