u/Fickle-Fennel-984

Context: baby is 5.5 mths old
Currently in the midst of sleep training
High needs/sensitive baby
Contact only napper
EBF

Looking for fellow parents with high needs, high sensitive babies. My LO is currently in the midst of sleep training. (Modified Ferber) last night was night 9 and she still cried 40min before sleep (we check in every 15min & do crib side support. Only pick up if she screams. Which she Is a screamer). Because of her sensitive nature, we have a 1 hour rule (we only practice it for one hour before we assist to sleep). She has successfully fallen asleep on her own—just takes time. When she wakes up 45-60min later she has been able to put herself to sleep mostly without support. Anyway—nights are getting better….not Perfect. She still wakes early AM (230a/330a) and I end up safe cosleep. (Yes I know this slows her overnight process but seriously my LO is extremely sensitive~screams till she bursts blood vessels)
Anyway—looking for assistance on scheduling
I plan to nap train after she’s got her nights down. But I try to follow her lead, but because she’s often moody…her wake windows usually hover around 1.5-1.75 hrs. And naps 30min 🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️
Help?

Context my LO is 5mth old. Very sensitive, high maintenance and strongly attached to me.

My baby has been contact sleeping for every nap; and began refusing to sleep in her crib at 12weeks. So I resorted to cosleeping out of desperation. Here we are—she’s now 5mths old and I just can’t cosleep in the regular. My husband and I (mainly me with my husband working the timer) did a modified Ferber method. Because I have a very strong willed baby, we decided that we wouldn’t do endless time. We decided that we would cap her training efforts after 60-90min. I understand this will take longer for her to learn, but I literally can’t leave my baby to cry for hours. I also modified the check ins…first 3 minutes, then 5min & then I did 15min. Mostly just crib side support and only picked up to deescalate because my baby escalates HARD (screaming till blood vessels break).
Here we are- night 2. Our session was 45-50minutes long & she went to sleep. On her own. In her crib (in my room). She woke after an hour—I went in nursed and after a couple minutes put her down awake. Because it was still fairly early in the evening, we decided we’d only try for 30min & not another 60min attempt. Put her down and she fussed but was back asleep within 3 minutes!!!
I understand we’re only on night 2, but this is HUGE for us. I also know that sleep training isn’t linear and we’ll still have hard nights. But I’m so proud of my baby and so relieved to see some improvement. Also, just to say—don’t be afraid to take these methods you see online and customize them to what fits YOUR baby.

My 5mth old is coming down with her first cold. So far it’s mild but I’m freaking out. She sounds hoarse when she cries and nasally when she makes noise. Breathing is fine. I have a tool that allows gentle suction for congestion in nose should she need it and she is used to it as I use it to clean her nose often. We have a humidifier going and she nurses fine right now. Buttttt, my normal anxiety on top of my post partum anxiety is making me freak out. Tips on how to help her!?

Don’t get me wrong. I ADORE my LO. Would do anything for her. She’s 21 weeks and I can’t imagine life without her. Buuuuttttttttt, I am so frustrated!! She doesn’t sleep!!!!!!!! Like, she does. But only with great effort. And only ON ME. So, my life is literally “okay she woke-set a timer for an hour cuz then we have to wind down for a nap”. At the 1.5hr awake mark I have about 15min before she goes to full meltdown. And then night sleep. Only ON ME. (Yes, practice safe cosleep. No it wasn’t planned but desperation left me no choice). That means I’m trapped in bed with zero evenings or adult time. Literally tonight cuz she had a split night, she was tired and needed to wind down for bed at 530p. FIVE THIRTY. she was fully asleep for the night (after a false start - cuz why not 🤦🏻‍♀️) at 650p. Leaving me isolated from my husband. I miss him so much. I miss US. All I am now is milk lady. Put to sleep, and mattress to my LO. I adore her. But I miss being able to be free.