Iowa unmarried parents — what do we need to do to make sure dad can make medical decisions for our newborn?
Location: Iowa
My fiancé (26M) and I (24F) have been together for 5 years, and we are expecting our first baby in just a few weeks. We are not married yet, but we plan to get married after the baby is born.
My family has been putting a lot of pressure on us to get married before the baby arrives, but we have decided to wait until after the birth. We are happy with that decision, so I’m not really looking for advice about whether we should get married right now.
My concern is the legal side of having a baby while unmarried in Iowa.
From what I understand, because we aren’t married, my fiancé does not automatically have the same legal rights as a married father. We know we need to establish paternity, and we have been told about the Voluntary Paternity Affidavit.
What I’m particularly concerned about is medical decision-making for our baby. If something were to happen during delivery or afterward where I was unable to make medical decisions for our baby, I want my fiancé to be able to step in and make those decisions and advocate for our child.
I haven’t spoken with my doctor or the hospital about this yet, but I plan to bring it up at my next appointment.
For other Iowa parents who had a baby while unmarried, what did you do before or immediately after birth to make sure the father had the legal authority to make medical decisions for the baby if the mother was unable to do so? Did signing the Voluntary Paternity Affidavit take care of this, or were there additional forms, paperwork, or legal steps you had to complete?
I’d especially appreciate hearing from anyone who has actually gone through this in an Iowa hospital. I want to make sure we have everything handled before our baby arrives rather than finding out afterward that we missed something.