u/Final-Argument-6059

so picutre this: we somehow kidnap ancient Greek philosopher Aristotle, strap him into a gaiming chair, inject modern english, internet slang, and basic coding into his brain, and force him to watch all 8 episodes of murder drones plus a lore timeline.

honestly, what is his immediate vibe check on the community and the show? here is my breakdown:

1. his actual reaction to uzi doorman Aristotle spends the entire first episode just violently rubbing his temples. when uzi starts screaming about "bite me" and teen angst, he immediatly grabs his notebook and writes:

"the adolescent female robot exhibits excessive unruliness. lacks proper civic virtue. will likely need to be exiled from the city-state for the safty of the collective."

fast forward to episode 4 when she starts losing control at that crepy house out in the woods, transforms into a terrifying winged solver monster, and tries to eat her classmates, and he doesn't even flinch. he just lets out a heavy sigh and goes, "ah, classic tragic flaw. called it."

2. his hot take on the "absolute solver" while everyone else in the fandom is arguing about patches, eldritch code, and lore timelines, Aristotle treats the absolute solver like a straight-up greek tragedy. he stands up, dramatically wraps his toga (or the sweatpants we put him in) around himself, and drops a 20-minute unprompted lecture on how the solver is literally just hubris personified—humans playing god and getting rightfully eaten by their own smarth-fridges.

3. calling the finale "battle-slop" literally just like that one guy on the subreddit, Aristotle takes one look at the final episode's chaotic planet-splitting space fights and writes:

"too much flashing lights, not enough rigorous dialectic debate. the plot has deteriolated into mindless spectacle. 3/10, plato would have hated this too."

4. trying to make sense of the reddit comments someone tries to explain shipping (like nuzi) to him, and the man literally has to invent an entirely new branch of philosophy just to comprehnd why thousands of people are drawing romantic fanart of killer robots holding hands.

what do y'all think? would Aristotle be a massive v simp, or would he sit down and write an entire scroll about why thad is the only morally sound sigma on copper-9? let me know below.