What is the end goal of therapy for an adult who has been sexually groomed or manipulated?
I am having a hard time understanding what I should be working toward. I am in therapy now and have seen several therapists to help with this one relationship. I feel like intellectually, I understand what happened, how it happened, and why it happened. I understand the psychological tactics, the power imbalance, and the ethical violations involved. I understand why I was vulnerable to him and how my past experiences contributed. If I heard my story from someone else, about someone else, I would be livid, disgusted, angry, etc. But I cannot get there for myself. I am still attracted to this person and hold no negative feelings toward him.
I don't want to feel this way anymore. The experience has influenced my sexuality and desires in ways that I don't like or want. I don't like that my attraction and arousal are tied to him and the manipulation and control he had. I don't like that I want someone who used my vulnerabilities and trauma against me. I don't like that it's exactly why I want him. Is this just something I will have to deal with and hope it fades? I can't even get myself to feel angry about any of it. I've never continued to feel this way about someone once the relationship was over and I'd moved on. This feels very different, and I can't move past it.