How can I heal from this
I (24 female) have been with my boyfriend (24 male) for 7 years. he had told me some lies throughout our relationship but last weekend I found out he had been lying to me for a year and a half. he used to fantasise about celebrities and even girls we knew. I told him I wasn’t comfortable with this and that I considered it to be cheating. he agreed and as far as I know he gave it up. last week I felt the urge to go through his phone and found on TikTok that he hadn’t cleared his search history from one day last month. it was a list of girls names. some of these girls I don’t know, but majority are local. two are my friends and one is his friend‘s girlfriend. he denied it when I confronted him but eventually he admitted to it. he said around March 2025 he had started to watch videos of girls again and pleasure himself. he said for lent this year he gave it up and after lent was just watching the videos but not doing anything physically. he was actively searching people on insta and tiktok. he has been crying and telling me he’s sorry. he handed over his socials to me and deleted them from his phone. he also asked me to delete the accounts. He started therapy today and told me that when he searched these girls he was viewing them as objects and it’s not emotional. to be true i never thought it was emotional, but I still don’t like it. one of the girls that he searched was his ex. they were very young teenagers when they were together and only for a brief period but I still find it weird. it’s hard because I can see he wants to change and obviously has some kind of dopamine addiction . I’m just so hurt, especially because I trusted him and now feel stupid. now I feel like I can’t even watch certain movies or shows with him in case there is a character that sets him off again. I want to make things work but I need to find the strength. has anyone else been through this and have any advice