I finally realized why I keep repeating the same mistakes, and it’s terrifying (Jungian perspective)
We’ve all been there: you promise yourself you won't react that way, or you won't choose that type of person again, and yet... you do. You sabotage it right when things are going well.
I was reading up on Carl Jung’s concept of "complexes" and the Shadow, and it finally clicked for me. Jung said: "Until you make the unconscious conscious, it will direct your life and you will call it fate."
Basically, our conscious mind wants to change, but an unconscious part of us (often formed in childhood) feels safe in the familiar pattern, even if it's toxic or painful. The ego thinks it's driving the car, but a hidden complex has its foot on the gas.
I've been trying to actively "shadow work" this by asking myself a hard question when I mess up: "What hidden payoff am I getting from repeating this mistake? What familiar pain is my ego trying to protect me from?" It’s deeply uncomfortable, but it breaks the autopilot.
Has anyone else experienced a specific pattern they finally broke by realizing what their Shadow was protecting? How did you integrate it? I'd love to hear your experiences.
(P.S. I actually put together a video breaking down Jung's exact mechanism for why we repeat mistakes and 3 practical ways to catch the complex before it acts. If anyone here is struggling with this loop, I hope it helps you as much as Jung's work helped me: [https://www.youtube.com/@BEYONDtheEGO-y8c])