Having a hard time with my LDR breakup…
My (22 F) girlfriend (23 F) just broke up with me 2 days ago after only 3 weeks of long distance because she said she just couldn’t handle it. We have been together for 7 months which maybe isn’t considered long term but it’s the longest and most real relationship (and she feels the same) I’ve ever had which I think makes all of this so much harder.
She moved out of state for her new job but I am still in state finishing school which is why we started doing long distance in the first place. We both knew it was going to be very hard, but I did everything I could to make her know I was there for her and how much I loved her by sending daily letters, planning remote dates, planning visits, and calling as much as I could. It was obviously more effort than it was when we were both in the same place but I was willing to put in that effort because I love her so much and she is so important to me. She told me that she was glad we were doing long distance, excited for our virtual dates, and that I was worth the distance.
She texted me while out one night that she didn’t feel like things were working which was totally out of the blue to me but that now wouldn’t be a good time to talk since she was out. Naturally I started freaking out because I know that’s a terrible sign. She told me that she’s been having a really hard time being in a new place and having a new job that she hates and she feels overwhelmed by all the change she’s experiencing after leaving school.
I’m just having a really hard time feeling like she was so quick to give up on me when things got hard and feeling like I still thought she was worth all the time and the distance but she didn’t feel that I was worth it anymore. I know she didn’t want to hurt me and I do truly believe her when she said that she still loves me and I was a perfect relationship for her but that the distance and the uncertainty was overwhelming, still I have a hard time understanding how she could let go so easily. I am just so heartbroken and lost and I feel like a part of me is physically missing. My sister keeps telling me that she let me go because she knew she couldn’t reciprocate the effort I was putting in and wanted to spare me that energy, but my mom is super unhelpful constantly saying things like “it just doesn’t make sense unless she’s found someone else” which I don’t really believe but it just feels awful to think about. I’m still so in love with her and no contact feels impossible and so draining.
I think it’s made exponentially worse by the fact that I’m staying at home with my mom right now and I don’t have any friends where she lives so I just feel extra lonely right now. If anyone has any advice for me or even just some reassurance I would be really appreciative, thanks.