u/First-Concept4304

As a mom, I’m struggling to figure out what to do next. My son is 11 and was diagnosed with ADHD and anxiety 2 years ago. He’s an overall very hyper kid, but also has explosive anger. He’s currently on a stimulant (Azstarys) and Abilify. He’s also tried guanficine and clonodine for his emotional issues. I do notice a slight improvement in his anger since getting on Abilify, but his anger and emotional dysregulation in general is still a big issue. He’s also tried other stimulants. He just recently got pushed down to a lower level team because his soccer coach no longer wants to deal with my sons emotional responses on the field. He used to be in therapy but he shuts down and doesn’t want to talk about anything. I’m currently looking to find him a new therapist in hopes that the last one just wasn’t the “perfect match” for him. I’m at my wits end. I’ve been dealing with these anger and emotional outbursts for years and just don’t know what else to do. He was taught quite a few techniques to try in the moment when he gets dysregulated, but in the heat of the moment, he has zero interest in doing any of those. I try to talk to him and work with him and I just have run out of ideas at this point. I’m so terrified for him to grow up and still be this dysregulated. I don’t know how he will function as an adult and I am so worried for him. His med provider says he can try risperidone next but honestly I’m a little afraid to put him on that due to some of the side effects he could potentially experience. Please tell me it gets better. Please give me any advice you may have. I just want him to be able to live a normal life 😭

I have an 11 year old son that’s been playing soccer for about 4 years ago. We struggle a lot with emotional regulation. If his team is losing, he misses a shot or the kids on the opposing team are being really aggressive/fouling him and his teammates, he struggles to compose himself emotionally. Sometimes this will just look like crying or yelling at the kids fouling him. He is a talented player and was being looked at for the top team in our club, but ultimately was passed on because of his emotional issues. His current coach will be coaching the middle team next year and assured us that my son will have a spot with him and he acknowledged how hard my son has been working to improve on his emotions during the games. My son had a bad game yesterday and lost all emotional control and began yelling at the other team because they kept fouling him and our coach ultimately decided he no longer wants my son on his team next year. Today we received an offer for the lowest team.

I’m struggling to figure out if we should accept the offer, or take a break from soccer altogether. He has anxiety and ADHD and is currently medicated for ADHD. He’s done therapy and has learned so many coping skills, but fails to apply them once he gets dysregulated. We give consequences at home any time there is poor behavior on the field.

Does anyone have any tips/recommendations/advice? I have had so many talks with him and I’m just exhausted at this point and very disappointed that he’s now being pushed 2 levels down as a result of his inability to control his emotions. I worry that playing on a team with kids who are less skilled at the game will trigger his anger/emotional side even more.