r/ParentingADHD

My 5 year old daughter was recently diagnosed with moderate to severe ADHD. It has been affecting her at school and at home, so we have decided to try medication.

We are starting with Guanfacine 1mg. I picked it up from the pharmacy today and found out it’s in pill form. She absolutely WILL NOT take it. She has always struggled with sensory problems with taking medicine, so we knew this would be an uphill battle. However we’ve been trying to convince her to take this for the entire day and I am beyond frustrated. Is there a different form that this med can come in besides pill form? If it was a liquid maybe we could at least hide it in her drink or something. Also any tricks to convince a very stubborn girl to take this medicine that could potentially help her so much?

Also would love to hear any success stories from Guanfacine! I was hesitant to start her so young, but her psychologist, OT, and teacher have highly recommended trying meds. And I do feel better starting her out on a non stimulant first.

After some disappointing stimulant trials for my son who has adhd and primary anxiety, we’re changing it up and trying an SSRI, liquid fluoxetine. I’m hopeful but nervous. We really need a break and something good to finally happen for him/us after struggling for so long.

If your child is/was on fluoxetine/prozac or another ssri, please share your experiences. Anything to except the first few days? I’m hoping we can avoid any major side effects.

We are really trying to figure out a homework system for our fourth grade son with ADHD. He isn’t defiant or angry about it, but he literally cannot focus on the page if he hears any noise at all. It’s not a large amount of work, but it takes him FOREVER to do a single problem due to distraction. We have a big family of small children, so our house is never silent. We have everyone else read after they finish their work, but our toddler obviously is not quiet… We can’t send him in his room to do the work because he will get distracted by everything else in the room without constant supervision and wants to know what is happening outside the room, and I also have to help him with the content of the work often. Any ideas for help with this? He wants to do well, so it’s very hard for all of us when we don’t know how to help him.

My oldest is 4.5, and for at least the past year (realistically longer) we have been struggling with what feels like almost constant emotional disregulation.

He speaks in a whiny/crying voice a huge portion of the day, even when there doesn't seem to be anything particularly wrong. Small frustrations, being told no, transitions, or things not going how he expected can turn into sobbing, crying, anger, or very big emotional outbursts. His reactions often seem much bigger than whatever triggered them.

I know 4-year-olds have big feelings. I don't expect a preschooler to regulate emotions like an adult or never whine. It's the frequency and intensity that have us concerned. It feels like we spend a huge part of every day helping him through some form of distress.

We have tried what feels like everything; validating the feeling while holding the boundary, staying calm, asking him to use his regular voice, modelling, choices, visual/routine-based approaches, consequences when appropriate, one-on-one time, preparing him for transitions, talking things through once he is calm, etc. We have even tried just being firm on rules/boundaries and not allowing prolonged sadness/feeling it out etc.

Some things might work briefly, but nothing seems to make a meaningful or lasting difference.

I was also recently diagnosed with ADHD as an adult, and I have OCD that I've been aware of for a long time. Looking back at myself as a child and knowing how my own brain works now, I see a lot of myself in him, particularly the huge emotions and difficulty moving past things once he is upset.

I absolutely don't want to diagnose my own child based on my experience, but it has made me wonder whether there is more going on than temperament or a difficult developmental stage. We've already spoken with our family doctor and are waiting on a specialist referral and additional resources/support. Unfortunately, while we wait, we're really reaching our limit as a family because nothing we've tried seems to be helping!

And now nighttime has become significantly worse. He does not want to be alone. He will sneak into our bed several times a night. If we bring him back to his room or expect him to sleep in his own bed, he can become extremely distressed. He will wail/sob and call for us, Grandma, his aunts, or other family members who don't even live with us. This usually wakes up our youngest and then no one is sleeping! He sounds genuinely heartbroken and desperate for somebody to be with him rather than simply angry that we're enforcing bedtime. However if we stay with him or allow him to sleep with us, he will not sleep. He ACTIVELY fights sleep, is visibly exhausted etc but claims boredom and fights to stay awake.

More recently, he has started waking during the night and starts wailing/calling for us. Whether we go in, comfort him and help him settle or try to encourage him to settle independently, he wakes us over and over again.

We're exhausted.

At this point I'm wondering if the daytime behaviour and nighttime behaviour could all be pieces of the same thing; anxiety, ADHD/emotional regulation difficulties, sensory issues, sleep issues, neurodivergence, or something we haven't even considered.

I'm especially hoping to hear from parents who had a 4–5-year-old who:

• whined/cried through a significant portion of everyday life
• had extremely big sadness or anger reactions
• had trouble recovering once upset
• needed an enormous amount of reassurance/connection
• became very distressed about being alone
• repeatedly woke at night crying or looking for family
• didn't seem to respond to the typical parenting strategies everyone recommends

Did you eventually figure out what was going on?

And while you were waiting for assessments or professional support, was there anything that genuinely made day-to-day life easier?

I love this kid more than anything. I can also see that he is having a hard time, not just giving us a hard time. But after more than a year of trying different approaches and now having everyone's sleep affected too, we're at our wits' end and desperately need some new ideas.

I seriously need help with my almost 8yr old daughter. She has tried counseling and it doesn’t help - actually just got told it’s a ‘behavior issue’ and nothing to do or help, and that was from a counselor we went to talk to together maybe 2-3 times. She is aggressive towards me, her dad and her little sister. She doesn’t listen to me at all. Back talks ALL the time. Yells and has meltdowns constantly, everyday and all day long. The doctor did describe her as NOT adhd since she is perfect during school and with others. She did try Wellbutrin, only thing that did was change her behavior for a couple days in school for the worse so we stopped it. What other options do I have? Do I need to switch doctors and ask for another counsel? Please help. I am over stimulated constantly and cry because I feel I am failing at being a parent.

Hi, just like the title says, I’m looking for recommendations for magnesium glycinate for our 4 year old. She hates gummies and chalky vitamins. So a nice flavoured liquid or a powder that mixes. I’m in Canada so if anyone knows ones I can buy here. Thanks!

Hello fellow parents,

My oldest son just started Kindergarten and is only on his second week. For more context, he was in Summer school at his Preschool as well, and basically finished that and then started right into Kidnergarten. He has been in preschool for the past 1.5 years. He has had an evaluation done from the county and did well through all of it, except for behavior and fine motor skills (he is a little clumsy and uncoordinated, and struggles to stay sitting and focused) he is very smart and well-spoken, and is a sweet boy. He just doesnt like to sit in one place and focus.

In his kindergarten class, he has been struggling paying attention i.e. has needed to be redirected often, and gets too "playful" and doesn't stay in his seat very much. Granted, upon registration at his Charter school I was told they try to keep classroom sizes to 14-16 students per teacher and teacher aide. But his classroom size is 30 students as one of the kindergarten teachers got moved up a grade, and they are trying to fill that teacher spot and split the class in half. I understand this is a new environment and structure for him to learn, and it is so early on to determine anything. But I have to find a solution to help this as I dont want him to be "kicked out" of this school, it is a great school.

He has been seen by his pediatrician for this, and she stated he is too young to fully diagnose for adhd, and chocked it up to reducing screen time, reducing sugar intake, better sleep routine, etc. Since then, insurance has changed and he has a new pediatrician, and he will do testing on him and possibly set up occupational therapy, and he is too young for medication at 5 yrs. The last thing I want to do is get him medicated, but I wanted to see if any other parents have dealt or are dealing with similar issues and found some solutions, or any medication information. Further context, I have been diagnosed with ADHD, and was medicated but didnt like the changes and the stimulants messed with my blood pressure. Any advice is welcomed, sorry for the long post!

TL:DR Son has issues staying focused, possibly adhd, need advice/solutions from other parents with similar issues.

Hi everyone.

Our 7yo son was diagnosed with hyperactive ADHD in late-March of this year. He is the sweetest kid but his mind never. stops. going. He asks questions and talks all day long!

He was prescribed Ritalin 5mg in March. We noticed a difference immediately. School became instantly easier for him (never had behavioral issues but LOTS of anxiety at school) and he sailed through the rest of the year. His teachers adore him. He gets excellent grades. We did add a lunch time dose of Ritalin to carry his attention through the end of the school day with amazing results. We truly thought Ritalin was like magic for him and for our family.

This summer has been awful. I’m a SAHM and my ADHD kid is my oldest of 3. The unstructured day to day I think has caused him to totally regress despite bumping up his morning dose to 10mg. Not sure if it’s also boredom but there’s only so much I can do with 3 little kids every single day that also doesn’t involve spending a ton of money. When my son is busy, he’s fine. But when he’s not, he completely unravels and annoys everyone around him with constant talking, questions, acting too silly etc.

I’m nervous and getting in my head about him going into school in September. Do any of you have kids like this that right when they get back into the structure and routine of school they thrive again? It’s just such a stark difference from the end of school to now and it worries me about what’s going on. We have a regularly scheduled appointment with his doctor on Friday. TIA!

Hi all. My neurodivergent partner (29M) and I (F30) have a 7 week old baby boy. I am on maternity leave for 4 months and my partner does not work, so we are both at home currently. One thing is bothering me about this time we have together though - my partner's tv time.

My partner has always been a big TV binger - he will binge shows for 12+ hours at a time, only stopping to sleep, then resume once he awakens for days and days on end. This has always frustrated me, but usually I either do something else or, if we are watching something together, I push for regular breaks.

However, we now have a 7 week old baby and I am finding this trait more troubling. While my partner is mostly present for my son if he actively needs him (e.g., crying while I am showering or cooking), I am finding my partner is not spending much quality time with me or our son, in favor of just watching episode after episode of TV. He has admitted this is because he is overwhelmed with being a parent and the TV helps him forget his troubles and relax.

We have had a few stressful nights where I have slept in another room with baby, as the TV in the bedroom is still on late at night and likely overstimulating baby. After some firm words, he agreed to move downstairs tonight and watch TV in the living room instead so I can get baby to bed, but I worry that isn't really a fix and just means he will stay up even later watching TV.

I have a really limited time off for us to spend as a family with our newborn, and I worry he will look back on this time and regret that he wasnt as involved as he could have been and wasted the time he has just watching random TV shows. I really want to understand how I can help him reduce his watch time and recognise he will regret wasting this time this way.

Since COVID we homeschooled and eventually went to virtual online charter school. It met the need of a quieter less distracting school environment and flexibility. BUT…my 14 year old diagnosed with ADHD (not really hyper at this age) has sleep issues and extremely picky eater. I transitioned to a remote job so I am on the clock. He sleeps through alarms, has trouble going to sleep and ends up on the sofa sleeping with SpongeBob to distract. He has sleep paralysis sometimes. But after 3 years I am over this. I am between following up and trying to wake him for up to 10 min straight (sometimes unsuccessfully), my nerves are shot. My 17 year old grew into being responsible in 9th grade but with similar struggles in Middle school. Sound stupid right? Just let go. Learn the hard way? Could get kicked out of the charter school although he has flexibility to complete virtual classes and work through the recordings. Problem is he still requires assistance and follow up. I mentioned to his therapist/counselor my situation, I cannot follow him around all day asking if he remembered to eat lunch or waking him up for 10 min. She seems to think he is less mature and still needs parent intervention. I do over this yet afraid to let him learn the hard way, advice from those who have been there or were kids with same issues?

Today my son took half a pack of crackers crushed them and made a huge mess on the floor. Crackers on the dog, on the chairs, the table every where. Him? Happy as could be. Where was i? Bathing the baby gone maybe 5 minutes. I almost cried.

I just got back from an annual vacation with my close friends and their families. My 2.5 yr old son is usually in daycare M-F, and then on weekends we don't do a lot of play dates, so this trip was like putting a magnifying glass on him and the other kids (ages: 4.5, 3.5, 3.5, 2, 1, 1). By the end of the trip, my son had one of his full-blown meltdowns, and on the drive home I started thinking "i've never see the other kids have a meltdown like that on our trips". I don't normally compare my kid to other kids because I know how different they can all be. But have my late-in-life diagnosis + a toddler who does a lot of things someone with adhd might do .. it's hard not to wonder "is that an early sign, or just a toddlerism".

I don't want to seek a diagnosis .. but I do want to support him early. Even if he doesn't have ADHD, surely there must be techniques out there to support the "under-the-threshold" symptoms he still might have? Is it too early to get into all of that? Just tackle the toddler-isms with toddler advice?

For context, my mom is 55yo. I'm 20 and have diagnosed ADHD. I am absolutely sure she has it too, (The gene didn't spawn on me randomly, right? And she shows clear symptoms she reports having since childhood) but she insists she just "has no fixing anymore".

She doesn't really have any hobbies, and I don't blame her. She's spent her whole life raising two kids alone, she has never had time for herself.

But now, me and bro are adults, and she finally has this time to do things she enjoys. -But she *doesn't*.

Daily, she spends copious hours on her phone, scrolling through sensationalist news, false medical information, scams, conspiracy theories and charlatan spiritualists. And of course ai slop.

Her days basically consists in working and taking care of the house. On her free time, she does nothing else but scroll. I've been telling her to watch movies and shows instead of scrolling. She doesn't listen. I've been trying to get her into reading, but she doesn't engage either.

And with ADHD, I get it. I have a hard time finding enjoyment in things too. But it is important that we try anyways, and I just can't wrap her head around it.

I did access her phone and unfollowed some accounts, basically tried to rewire her algorithm to a healthier fyp. But it doesn't take long for the fake news and AI slop and conspiracy shit to start showing up again.

She is starting to show signs of cognitive decline, can't structure sentences well and forgets words often.

I am unbearably concerned and I don't know what to do. I try to get her into new hobbies but she says " I don't have patience for that", " I don't have time for that" or "I don't have money for that". I talk to her everyday about how this is not healthy for her, then 10 min later she is already on her phone again.

Hi all, I am interested in some insight from parents who have dealt with their five year-olds being super fearful and anxious of trying new things. I’m seeing some symptoms of ADHD in my son (but also could be age appropriate honestly, it’s hard to say) - such as impulsivity, mild inattention, and sensory seeking. He gets in trouble at school for not keeping his hands to himself, and is a bit socially immature compared to his peers it seems, but he does spend most of his time with his 3 y.o. brother. I used to just think it was his temperament. Little brother is far more easy-going, calm, appropriately curious, and easier to discipline. But I think it might be deeper. I try to have age-appropriate, meaningful conversations when he’s not escalated, but he is closed off and pretty negative and it almost sets off the fear response. He gets incredibly emotional and repeats things like, “I can’t do this.” We assure him he’s safe, mentally prepare him for things, we are always honest about what we’re doing, but we do push him to do the things he’s worried about even if he freaks out. I’m talking things like going to school, swim lessons, and baseball practice. But it’s so interesting because he rips on his bike, loves ocean fishing with grandpa, things that are objectively more “scary”.
For added context, I did just have a baby two months ago, but this has started long before then, but it has definitely amplified the separation anxiety. He also has obstructive sleep apnea and recently had his tonsils removed. We’re hoping this helps improve his sleep and overall mood and behaviors, but any insight in the meantime would be deeply appreciated.

Has anyone titrated their kiddo off all their meds? I just feel like we’ve tried so many things for so many years that we don’t even know what his true baseline is anymore and nothing is working. His attention span is still awful, he’s filled with rage all the time, he’s violent and he states he doesn’t know why but he feels out of control inside. He says he wants to be good, but something inside keeps him from doing it. We’re honestly just desperate at this point and willing to try going back to nothing to see if we can find out why nothing is working.

Nothing. Nothing is wrong with my kid. She has ADHD but that’s just who she is. My friend’s child who has similar big emotions and intelligence gets treated so differently at his school. The admin say “he’s young. He’ll grow out of it. We’ve got time.” But then with my daughter in a different but similar school we’re in two therapies a week and on medication. All because of the pressure from the school.

Is it a girl vs boy thing at this age? (5/6). What’s the deal? I know it’s different schools but it’s just such a different reaction to two very similar children.

Bedtime routine starts at 7pm. No more screens, no TV. Brush teeth, pajamas, and then reading to wind down for the night… lights out at 8-8:30pm.

(EDIT: on weekends his bedtime is 10pm, he’s still up by 4am though.)

He falls asleep very well.

He takes 0.1mg of extended release Clonodine, and 0.5mg of Melatonin at bedtime. His last focalin for the day was all the way back at 12:00pm. He has had a sleep study this year and they found no signs of sleep apnea or anything.

He wakes up at 4am, hyper. Wired. Running around (literally.)

He wakes up his little brother (their rooms are next to each other) because he’s running in/out of his room, down the stairs, etc. and the noises wake up little brother.

By 3:00-4:00pm, he has dark bags under his eyes, and he’s extremely exhausted and irritated/moody.

He also has pathological demand avoidance, so any suggestions we try and give him at 4am, he argues with us.

He’ll come into our room and say “I can’t go back to sleep can I get my iPad?” (Edited to add: we do not give him his iPad at 4am. Ever. But he’ll stand there and argue for it.)

I try to suggest he use some calm down/meditation techniques and he’ll argue with me. I’m disoriented at 4am and I can’t handle negotiating and arguing that early.

He goes to therapy. He agrees to things in therapy, but as soon as it’s “in the moment,” everything goes out the window.

He was on Guanfacine for 5 years, but it made him tired all day long, with dark bags under his eyes which made him moody and irritable all day long. Then we tried Strattera, and he was super mean on that (we got calls from school about it from his teachers, emotional outbursts and bullying other kids etc).

Is this just life now? Is there anything else that can help him?

EDIT: alright, I’m going to try pushing back his weekday bedtime to 9pm, for 3 weeks. I’ll report back on how it goes.

My daughter was recently prescribed Strattera after trying other stimulants that made her extreme emotional and dimmed her personality. She has a hard time swallowing it though. Anyone have this problem? I hear there is a liquid form now but new so not as readily available. Has anyone been able to get this?

My oldest has at least one, usually more, episodes a day where he has zero control of himself. This looks like running/ jumping/ bouncing etc along with verbal stims. He also play fights during this time (will go up to you and “punch” you but he will pull it at the last possible second so he doesn’t actually hit you) and it overall comes off very aggressive for those that don’t know him. This behavior triggers my younger child to also be wild and it is absolute chaos. Sometimes it turns into an actual physical fight between them. Once this starts there is absolutely no stopping it until it runs its course. My oldest also has Tourette’s. I am trying to figure out the etiology behind this. Is this an ADHD thing? Tourette’s? Combo? Anyone else experience this?

This will happen no matter what we do during the day. If we are out all day it happens the second we get home, if it didn’t happen while we were out. If we stay home it happens multiple times through out the day.

I’m a single mom to a just turned 3 yr old. She hits, she screams, and she does not listen quite literally 100% of the time. I know this is “normal” or it’s just a phase or whatever, but I’m so tired. How does one not become increasingly frustrated and burnt out from this? I am a firm gentle parenter, I express boundaries in a calm and firm manner, and she knows all of the rules as I have to express them multiple times a day (no hitting, use your listening ears, it’s time to sit down and eat, etc.) but it seems to just not work. I have yet to find a way to discipline that works for us. I hold space for her emotions, I comfort her when appropriate (or at least try, sometimes she wants nothing to do with me because I told her no) I try my best to not yell but still be firm and not permissive. I just don’t know what I’m doing wrong. Her daycare has also expressed some concern around her behaviour.

It also doesn’t really help that I have ADHD, so I have trouble regulating my own emotions. I am trying so hard to stay patient and calm, and honestly I am doing a decent job most of the time, but that doesn’t take away from how draining it is and what I feel inside. I find myself watching the clock until bedtime, and I don’t want to feel that way. I love my daughter more than I can ever love anything, but I am so burnt out.

I thought about talking to our family doctor about a psychological assessment for her, but I can’t help but feel like that’s kind of extreme and that maybe this is just a hump that we have to get over. Still, I do not know what to do. Should I get an assessment, is that mother intuition? Or am I being dramatic lol?

To top it off, I’m starting my second year of school soon, and I am so not looking forward to that added stress. I am diagnosed with depression, and am on meds, but last year I had to up the dosage to the max dose because of the stress. I am still recovering from being burnt out from last year’s schooling.

Sorry if this is just a blob of words, I’m not good with explaining my feelings. Any advice is welcome.