u/diyamateer

We have recently introduced a reward chart for our 4.5 year old son who has undiagnosed hyperactive ADHD.

He gets a star for playing nicely, not having accidents, using the toilet before bed and being kind. At the end of the week he can choose his reward, a new board game, some limited screen time or chocolate. We are on day 4 and so far he's gotten a couple of stars but I think he's still getting his head around it.

Has anyone else found reward charts useful for their ADHD child and how long did it take for your child to understand the concept?

Our son is 4.5 years old, we have been trying to potty train him since he was 2.5 years old. He's only ever had 2 poo accidents since then but we have multiple wee accidents a day. It doesn't matter if he's distracted doing something or not doing anything. Sometimes he will take himself to the toilet for a wee and other times he won't.

We have tried sticker charts, having him change himself and take his soiled clothes to the washing machine. Nothing seems to work, he doesn't care that he has wee in his pants but will always rush to the toilet when he needs a poo.

We suspect he could have ADHD (his mum has it) but he's too young for a diagnosis in our country, the fact that he can go some days without accidents and then have 4 accidents a day other days is the part I find confusing.

He won't have accidents in school as he's only in during the mornings so he can hold it in, he will sometimes have accidents in nursery or at his aunties house.

He starts full time in September and I'm getting nervous that we have been trying this for nearly 2 years and he still hasn't understood the assignment. Has anyone had a similar experience? When did it suddenly click? What worked?

Our son (4) has been having playdates with 2 or 3 three other friends and I have noticed a dynamic where he is being pushed out of the social circle usually because he is being too heavy handed, impulsive and not understanding people's physical boundaries.

When I came to pick him up from his aunties the kids were in the back and one of his friends was pushing his head down while his cousin (same age) was trying to lock him in the trampoline and run away. He started crying so I comforted him.

He ended up going upstairs and reading books with his other older cousin who is a girl a couple of years older than him while his friend and his cousin played in the other room.

I'm worried that his friends are starting to see him as someone with poor impulse control and are slowly pushing him out of their circle and I'm trying to take my emotions out of it but it's so hard to watch this slowly creep in as he is sociable but can't control what he's doing but that's impossible to explain to other toddlers.

It seems to be the same boy who is bullying him and getting others involved as it's not the first instance I've noticed him getting another boy to join in at trying to kick our son. I don't feel comfortable talking to the dad about it.