u/First_Move1839

I really don’t know what to do anymore. In the past 4 months I’ve had 4 CMHT referrals being declined.
I have come to a conclusion that it must be because I have autism and ADHD diagnosis. But I never get told what is the reason for the declined referral just nobody says anything to me. I got letter today from CMHRS saying they’ll just refer me back to GPimhs (GP mental health services) who only recently discharged me back to my GP anyway and listed the crisis numbers to call instead.
I don’t just have autism and adhd but I have PMDD episodes that make me so depressed and get S thoughts and Sh thoughts. I have severe emetophobia and OCD as well and my anxiety recently is so severe I struggle so much. I also have PoTS and struggle physically to do much. Ive been off work since march as i have been unwell physically and mentally just struggle so much.
Is it really that I am so complex and I am cursed because of my neurodivergence?? Even my therapist “broke up” with me last week when I finally got courage to disclose my adhd and autism and diagnosis and he just said he doesn’t have much or any knowledge about it at all.
So how am I supposed to get help even when I’m struggling to be alive? Clearly it doesn’t even matter to them.

Received a text message this morning saying I’ve been awarded PIP. Yesterday (1st of June) I was able to access my PIP letter from around mid day.
I have been awarded enhanced for both daily living and mobility and I feel so happy as I had expected to not get anything even based on how my phone appointment went.
I claimed for POTS, Autism, ADHD, PMDD, anxiety and OCD. In my PIP2 form I used phrases like “on majority of the days” and followed the STAR method PIP use like can I do things safely, in a timely manner, reliably etc.
During my phone assessment though despite having lots of notes in front of me I felt so incredibly anxious and stumbled with my words and completely forgot about the wordings they use. Half the time my partner did talking for me as I was so overwhelmed throughout the phone call. Had signal issues so that threw me and the assessor off a lot. Assessor seemed nice and stuff but obviously I expected for her to lie and stuff on my report.

Timeline:

22nd January - Called to get my PIP2 forms

17th February - Submitted forms

18th February - Text from HAAS saying they will be looking at my forms and my evidence

19th March - Text saying A health professional is looking at your PIP claim

17th April - Text saying A phone appointment has been booked for you on 11th May 09:20am

11th May - Had my phone assessment which lasted about 1 hour and 10minutes.

11th May 5pm - Text message saying they have received my assessment report

20th May - called to ask for my assessment report
(Was way too anxious to find out it sooner)

27th May - Received my PIP assessment report and was super relieved they were telling the truth in the report and suggested enhanced for both daily living and mobility.

1st June - checked Proof Of Benefits GOV UK website and saw my PIP award letter uploaded

2nd June 8am - Text message saying “We have awarded you PIP”