u/FitSyllabub4138

I looked in here briefly for anything you might write to me, but I managed to stop myself. I had to drive down your street the other day, and I didn't spare a glance at the house we used to live in together. I can hear your name without a reaction. Wanting to hear from you feels more like something I could take or leave. It isn't an inevitability, or a pull anymore. What used to be an all-consuming passion is just a footnote in an otherwise pretty spectacular story, now.

I'm forgetting more and more about you, every day. I'm replacing you with goals and accomplishments that you'll never get to share with me. Before too long, I'll leave the state, and you'll be left behind in every single way. First, I'm doing everything I ever said I would do, and I'm doing it without you in mind. I've found better lovers, better friends, better habits, better housing, and better opportunities since I got away from you. Honestly, at this point I think the greatest gift you ever gave me was a clear picture of what I will never settle for again. Thanks for that.

-Z

It's crazy how about a year and a half later I'm still here with this storm in my head. I'm still mad. I still check my shit half-hoping that I'll hear from them. I know I won't. I still look for them online. I still google their name. I still check on what little windows I have left into their life. I don't want them back. I don't even know if I could be their friend. They just live here in my mind and I don't know how to eject them, really. I'm sick of it.