What does protecting your peace look like
I am a second-year university student who went through a difficult year so far. I first started off strong in the first semester when I got an executive position at a club that I had been a part of, followed by making friends for the first time in university and getting an opportunity to work in a lab for research in the winter semester by a prof.
However, everything came crashing down when, at the end of the semester, I had lost all my friends over a stupid joke I made (long story), which then led to me getting removed as an executive from that club; the prof then also told me that he no longer wanted me for the lab (unrelated to the other two).
Now that its the spring/summer holiday, and I am studying for the MCAT (medical school admission exam, basically), I am dealing with family politics that is exhausting me
The point of all of this, and what is a recurring theme for me, is the idea of protecting my peace.
When I got called out for making a joke (it wasnt racist or sexist or anything, it was in bad taste I assume, and it probably had to do with the fact that all my friends were female while I was the only guy), I proceeded to call out the person who was offended and let her know that her treatment of me (telling all our mutual friends and silently cutting me off) was toxic and taking a big toll on my mental health.
Was protecting my peace then worth it? Maybe, because I feel better knowing that I did what I had to do, but my actions had consequences
Then, just recently, I got into a fight on the phone with my family regarding their recent behavior. Was it worth it then too?
The truth is I feel like im still young and figuring life out. I hope to be confident one day and establish boundaries/trust with the people that I confide in such that I dont have to run into these awkward situations.
I still miss my friends, they were amazing, but I often think about how I could have handled the situation better. The same goes for with my family.