u/Flat_Mizou360

Hey y’all! I'm looking into moving to Anaconda as a nineteen year old living in Plano Texas. I bounced around for college this year as a freshman around Texas and colorado (CU Boulder, UT El Paso, CU Denver in that order) and learned a lot about what I want and don't want.

Boulder/Denver were beautiful but insanely expensive, dense, and full of a pretentious energy that made me dread being around people my own age (not to mention how serious politics and opinions are in the Colorado culture). El Paso was the opposite problem: cheap and slow, but everyone there was just waiting to leave.

My research has shown Montana to be a good answer to both. Love the low population density, gorgeous untouched nature, the conservation minded culture, and towns like Anaconda where cost of living is not bad. Plan is to move, work, build residency, and eventually go to UM or MSU for neuroscience (when I decide to go back to college whenever that may be), but honestly the bigger goal right now is just getting my mental health and my life back on track. I love that Anaconda would give me the privacy I want, while also having the necessities and culture that makes a town enjoyable to live in. And I love that it's only half an hour from Butte.

My worry is that Anaconda's median age is around 42-47. I know Butte probably has more people my age, but I don't actually know what day-to-day social life looks like there for a 19-year-old.

My questions for ya'll are what is it actually like being young in Butte/Anaconda? Is it hard to meet people? I’ve heard there’s good culture and things to do in Butte. Are there any other smaller mountain towns with close ish proximity to a city that you'd suggest I look into? I was looking into Hamilton since it's near Missoula, but I can't find housing that's in my budget (I'm trying to find something around 700-1100 a month).

Any input is GREATLY appreciated. I know I can only get so much information from statistics and google searches. I'm still looking into this so I want as many perspectives as I can get :)

Me (M19) and my gf (F20) have been long distance on and off for a year and a half (2 years dating). We don't really talk much anymore (a few text threads and a 15-45 minute call usually) and I always speak first. I'm very vocal with compliments, my love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time. I don't even know her love language and feel like she doesn't have one at all. Any time I compliment her, say I love you, or initiate touch, she reciprocates, but if I don't initiate then it doest happen. Even when we lived in the same town we only made plans if I asked first, otherwise we wouldn't see each other. It makes me so sad because a year ago in our long distance we were calling every night for hours and it was amazing. Now when we call we barely even have anything to say.

She has an incredibly low libido, and mine is extremely high. She never initiates, and initiating intimacy with her gives me anxiety, and now dread since I can never tell whens the right time, and when it IS the right time I feel so pressured becahse even when we lived in the same area I knew it's the only time we'll be intimate for a while (maybe once a week if that), and it's always kind of awkward, I can never tell if she actually enjoys it (even though she says she does) Our relationship has been so stagnant that for a while i've wondered if i'm with her because I want to be or if it's because i'm too scared to be alone. I tend to get a decent amount of female attention too and find myself wishing I were single sometimes, which makes me feel like a terrible person.

Today i'm in her town for a trip, and have anxiety because of our long distance issues. I text her i'd like to have a serious talk and told her how I love her so much but have been miserable in our relationship for a while. She responded and assured that she loves me, we'll talk, and be fine. We've had conversations like this before where we discuss, and it ends up where she says she'll try, and goes back to normal a week later. I always feel like shit because I feel like i'm making her do things shes not comfortable with, even though I see it as the bare minimum. Anyways she comes over, I begin my talking points, and she says "maybe you should get affirmation from someone else". I asked if she was breaking up with me and she hesitated, stuttered, and said yes. The next hour was us both crying hysterically, hugging, saying how much we love each other, and how we won't be able to love another person. Its like I just realized how in love with her I am. It was a "you don't know what you have until its gone" thing. I couldn't bare to have had her in my life for so long and suddenly never talk to her again. We eventually started talking a bit after the crying. She was saying how i've been perfect to her and how she can't give me what I need and doesn't know what to do. We kept talking and I found out something.

To preface, I have horrible OCD, anxiety, and debilitating depression. I'm doing ketamine treatment after trying a million meds. I am constantly paranoid about our relationship. I'm left on delivered for a few hours and I spiral. She could spend the whole day at home OR be out and either way I'll be so worried shes cheating, losing interest, or found someone better that it ruins my day. I need a lot of reassurance from her. On top of that i've been so depressed since leaving college because of mental health that i've almost given up. I talk to her about it, and she listens. I always ask her if I'm burdening her, because if I am I'd happily stop, I have other people that I can talk too as well, and she ALWAYS assures me no. Today after our crying, she told me that she worries a lot about me, and my talking to her about my problems has made her worry significantly and drained her completely. I was crushed, my biggest worry was always that she was giving me false hope and being dishonest about her feelings, which of course she would assure me she wasn't, and here I found out that she has all this time. If I had known earlier I would've stopped, I feel awful. I also recently, in a conversation like this one with her, found out she has been having awful body dysmorphia, hasn't been taking care of herself, and can hardly text me good morning. Again I had no idea, she never told me or showed signs. Back to tonight, i ask if theres anything we can do and she says we've been trying for a long time already. She eventually leaves, we're both hysterical. she texts me that she got home safe. I texted her, and we decided to meet again to talk. An hour later we decided that neither of us can quit, and to give it another shot.

Tonight has clearly shown me how much we care about each other, and how badly we want to stay together. I feel like my paranoia for her is from my mental health, and I feel like if I commit to treatment and get out of my suicidalty, i'll be able to be comfortable not hearing from her much, and she'd be comfortable with me, but J don't know for sure. During my rare episodes of happiness I could go the whole day, barely speak to her, and feel content with a 15-45 minute call before bed. She told me I need to love myself before I can love her. She also said she'd work on being transparent and telling me about her problems. I feel like maybe if I get myself in check again things could be better. She told me today the second time we met that she didn't plan on what happened tonight, and she panicked when I asked if she was breaking up with me. Literally last night we cuddled, watched tiktok, laughed, and fell asleep together. It's like long distance we're barely a couple, and then when we see each other she and I are great, but we go to different universities and will be doing long distance for 3 more years at least. My question is do you think trying again was the right thing to do? I didn't know she was drained, and I feel like fixing my mental health will fix things, but i'm worried that even being healthy i'll still want more affection than shes willing to give, that she'll never be able to tell me her feelings, that we'll never be intimate, that I cant trust that she isn't hiding feelings from me, or that something new will happen. I don't know what to do, do you think we're just incompatible? any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you

Me (M19) and my gf (F20) have been long distance on and off for a year and a half (2 years dating). We don't really talk much anymore (a few text threads and a 15-45 minute call usually) and I always speak first. I'm very vocal with compliments, my love languages are words of affirmation, physical touch, and quality time. I don't even know her love language and feel like she doesn't have one at all. Any time I compliment her, say I love you, or initiate touch, she reciprocates, but if I don't initiate then it doest happen. Even when we lived in the same town we only made plans if I asked first, otherwise we wouldn't see each other. It makes me so sad because a year ago in our long distance we were calling every night for hours and it was amazing. Now when we call we barely even have anything to say.

She has an incredibly low libido, and mine is extremely high. She never initiates, and initiating intimacy with her gives me anxiety, and now dread since I can never tell whens the right time, and when it IS the right time I feel so pressured becahse even when we lived in the same area I knew it's the only time we'll be intimate for a while (maybe once a week if that), and it's always kind of awkward, I can never tell if she actually enjoys it (even though she says she does) Our relationship has been so stagnant that for a while i've wondered if i'm with her because I want to be or if it's because i'm too scared to be alone. I tend to get a decent amount of female attention too and find myself wishing I were single sometimes, which makes me feel like a terrible person.

Today i'm in her town for a trip, and have anxiety because of our long distance issues. I text her i'd like to have a serious talk and told her how I love her so much but have been miserable in our relationship for a while. She responded and assured that she loves me, we'll talk, and be fine. We've had conversations like this before where we discuss, and it ends up where she says she'll try, and goes back to normal a week later. I always feel like shit because I feel like i'm making her do things shes not comfortable with, even though I see it as the bare minimum. Anyways she comes over, I begin my talking points, and she says "maybe you should get affirmation from someone else". I asked if she was breaking up with me and she hesitated, stuttered, and said yes. The next hour was us both crying hysterically, hugging, saying how much we love each other, and how we won't be able to love another person. Its like I just realized how in love with her I am. It was a "you don't know what you have until its gone" thing. I couldn't bare to have had her in my life for so long and suddenly never talk to her again. We eventually started talking a bit after the crying. She was saying how i've been perfect to her and how she can't give me what I need and doesn't know what to do. We kept talking and I found out something.

To preface, I have horrible OCD, anxiety, and debilitating depression. I'm doing ketamine treatment after trying a million meds. I am constantly paranoid about our relationship. I'm left on delivered for a few hours and I spiral. She could spend the whole day at home OR be out and either way I'll be so worried shes cheating, losing interest, or found someone better that it ruins my day. I need a lot of reassurance from her. On top of that i've been so depressed since leaving college because of mental health that i've almost given up. I talk to her about it, and she listens. I always ask her if I'm burdening her, because if I am I'd happily stop, I have other people that I can talk too as well, and she ALWAYS assures me no. Today after our crying, she told me that she worries a lot about me, and my talking to her about my problems has made her worry significantly and drained her completely. I was crushed, my biggest worry was always that she was giving me false hope and being dishonest about her feelings, which of course she would assure me she wasn't, and here I found out that she has all this time. If I had known earlier I would've stopped, I feel awful. I also recently, in a conversation like this one with her, found out she has been having awful body dysmorphia, hasn't been taking care of herself, and can hardly text me good morning. Again I had no idea, she never told me or showed signs. Back to tonight, i ask if theres anything we can do and she says we've been trying for a long time already. She eventually leaves, we're both hysterical. she texts me that she got home safe. I texted her, and we decided to meet again to talk. An hour later we decided that neither of us can quit, and to give it another shot.

Tonight has clearly shown me how much we care about each other, and how badly we want to stay together. I feel like my paranoia for her is from my mental health, and I feel like if I commit to treatment and get out of my suicidalty, i'll be able to be comfortable not hearing from her much, and she'd be comfortable with me, but J don't know for sure. During my rare episodes of happiness I could go the whole day, barely speak to her, and feel content with a 15-45 minute call before bed. She told me I need to love myself before I can love her. She also said she'd work on being transparent and telling me about her problems. I feel like maybe if I get myself in check again things could be better. She told me today the second time we met that she didn't plan on what happened tonight, and she panicked when I asked if she was breaking up with me. Literally last night we cuddled, watched tiktok, laughed, and fell asleep together. It's like long distance we're barely a couple, and then when we see each other she and I are great, but we go to different universities and will be doing long distance for 3 more years at least. My question is do you think trying again was the right thing to do? I didn't know she was drained, and I feel like fixing my mental health will fix things, but i'm worried that even being healthy i'll still want more affection than shes willing to give, that she'll never be able to tell me her feelings, that we'll never be intimate, that I cant trust that she isn't hiding feelings from me, or that something new will happen. I'm also worried I won't be able to fix my mental health enough or in time. I don't know what to do, do you think we're just incompatible? any advice is greatly appreciated. Thank you

Apologies for the length of this post, it requires a lot of context.

Me (m19) and my girlfriend (f20) have done long distance on and off for over two years. We met in highschool, dated for four months, and now go to college in different states, we’ve spent a little over a year of our relationship doing long distance. I have my fair share of problems, and know i’m not low maintenance. I need a lot of communication and reassurance. I do feel like it’s a normal amount, I expect to call or at least text each day more than just to say good night or give updates every six hours. I want to hear about her day, talk, i want to feel like we’re dating.

For a while maybe eight months ago, we were calling for hours a day, enjoying each others company as much as we can. Then for a while I went to college in the same state as her, but now am back home, and am not returning to her state (out of state tuition is too expensive, I can’t afford it anymore), and now we only talk when I message first. We’ve had lots of conversations about this, she barely spoke to me when we began LDR. We’ve had this problem on and off for a while, sometimes it would last a week, sometimes months.

Tonight she said she’d call me, after us texting five times the whole day. Over an hour went by and she never called me. At 3am I decided to go to bed, I was very very sad that she didn’t end up calling me, and sent her some messages about it. Her responses were dry, things like “okie dokie” “yup” and “ofc”. She never speaks this way, it shocked me. I texted her immediately after, asking if everything is alright. I called her, and told her how upset I have been, and how now I no longer believe her when she says she does want to talk to me and lost hope that we’ll have any connection. We spoke a bit more, and her demeanor stayed almost unfazed. Again this really confused me, and I asked her why shes being this way. She said that she isn’t unfazed, and that it is important to her. We kept speaking, and she told me how today with her friends sunbathing at a creek, she felt disgusting. Shes been telling me how shes been upset about her weight recently, we got drunk together the last time I saw her, and she started crying talking to me about it (shes cried in front of me maybe five times ever), but I took that as the alcohol talking. We kept speaking and she said that even texting me good morning and that shes awake requires a lot of effort right now. She felt bad that she hasn’t been talking to me, but said she hasn’t even been taking care of herself.

She has always buried her struggles, even though they did present themselves. It was easier to tell when we were in the same state, over long distance it’s difficult. I feel awful, I had no idea how badly she was struggling. She had mentioned struggles in passing, feeling bad about waking up/staying up late, saying she doesnt like how shes been eating, or that she hasn’t been to the gym in a while, but she would pass it off as something that isn’t as debilitating as it really is . Now I know, and I understand. I struggle a lot too, to a point where cleaning my cat’s litter box feels like it requires mental strength that I don’t have. I just started Ketamine therapy for my mental health aftert trying an entire pharmacy’s worth of mental health medication over 4 years and still not getting a quality of life. I know how hard things can be, and feel awful for not realizing how badly shes struggling, despite her being secretive about it.

Now I don’t know what to do. I want to help her but don’t know how. At the same time I feel awful that even me, her boyfriend, is someone thats difficult to reach out to. I have hardly been able to get out of bed the past couple weeks, but talking to her is the easiest and most enjoyable part of my days. And I feel like if shes struggling like how I am and doesn’t feel that safety with me, l have to be doing something wrong, or i’m not right for her. I don’t know what to do, i’m worried about her. Shes normally a well adjusted person. She’s fit, and normally enjoys physical activity. I know telling her how beautiful and capable I know she is won’t help, but I can’t see her like this, it kills me. Any advice is appreciated, I know things could be a lot worse for us, but even knowing that, it’s really hard to watch her struggle, especially while i’m struggling so much too.

I started Spravato 2 weeks ago, and immediately I felt a SIGNIFICANT difference. I felt like I was finally getting my life back after four years of struggling. I couldn't tell you the last time I was able to do regular tasks like cleaning my apartment or doing dishes without needing to use every ounce of strength I have. And I also couldn't tell you the last time i've been able to spend time with my friends and family and actually enjoy myself without it feeling like a chore and like i'm just waiting to leave. after my second week, i'm starting to notice myself trending downward again. Is this normal? It's pretty crushing seeing how wonderful life is and then having it leave you just as quickly as it came. I appreciate any feedback, thanks yall :)

So I am a recreational marijuana consumer. I have been crippled by my mental health for 3 years, and the past 4 weeks i've smoked pretty much every night to deal with it. I just did my second sprovato dose a couple days ago and words cannot describe the significance of it's effects. I haven't felt like this in years, I feel like I'm getting my life back. I still do enjoy weed in social settings and to relax and have fun alone sometimes, i'm making sure to not smoke 24 hours before a treatment and then 24 hours after. This means that I am only allowed to smoke once a week, as my treatments are Monday's and Thursday's. I want to smoke once a week, I feel like thats a healthy amount (especially considering I use a dry herb vaporizer meaning I don't get 95% of the toxins created by traditional smoking). My only worry is whether or not it will dampen the effectiveness of this treatment. My technicians and the people who evaluated me for approval of the treatment all say not to 24 hours before or after and didn't say anything else. Should I abstain completely during these 8 weeks? Do I need to worry about the once per week weed use effecting how well this treatment works for me?

Hi everyone. I have been struggling for the past three years, and just recently decided to do thorough testing, which diagnosed me with Autism and OCD. Examining this diagnosis with my psychiatrist and other professionals, the consensus seems to be i'm experiencing autistic burnout.

A summary of my experience (specifically regarding the burnout) is that after my sophomore year of highschool, participating in the International Baccalaureate (extremely accelerated) program, i became severely burnt out, to a point where I stopped going to school. I had to be moved to an alternative school, where I attended maybe 2-3 times per week on average purely because I couldn't get myself to do anything. I did that my junior year, then my senior year gave me some hope with applying to colleges. I eventually committed to CU Boulder as an out of state student from Texas, and started attending in the fall. After about four weeks, I had to withdraw because I thought the environment wasn't for me, i struggled meeting people, and didn't have motivation or skills enough to go and complete coursework. I did a minimester in a community college, where I barely passed the 2 classes I was in because I couldn't get myself to do the work, then transferred to CU Denver, where I roomed with my best friend and already had lots of buddies. The environment was so much more chill and not like Boulder at all, but the same thing happened, I couldn't organize studying and turning in assignments, and eventually stopped going to classes. I've been struggling with this for three years, and now that I know what I have, i'm looking for treatments.

What are your experiences with burnout? And do you have any treatments that worked for you? I feel like I wasted my Freshman year of college and am now back in Texas, the state I was so excited to leave. I feel like i'm back at square one after three years of trying and I need to start actually making progress. I am a driven person, and am VERY interested in the major I chose, and have been committed to wanting to get a PhD in Neuroscience my whole life, but i'm losing hope. Any advice is greatly appreciated :)

Hi everyone. I have been struggling for the past three years, and just recently decided to do thorough testing, which diagnosed me with Autism and OCD. Examining this diagnosis with my psychiatrist and other professionals, the consensus seems to be i'm experiencing autistic burnout.

A summary of my experience (specifically regarding the burnout) is that after my sophomore year of highschool, participating in the International Baccalaureate (extremely accelerated) program, i became severely burnt out, to a point where I stopped going to school. I had to be moved to an alternative school, where I attended maybe 2-3 times per week on average purely because I couldn't get myself to do anything. I did that my junior year, then my senior year gave me some hope with applying to colleges. I eventually committed to CU Boulder as an out of state student from Texas, and started attending in the fall. After about four weeks, I had to withdraw because I thought the environment wasn't for me, i struggled meeting people, and didn't have motivation or skills enough to go and complete coursework. I did a minimester in a community college, where I barely was able to do the work in my 2 classes, but somehow passed, then transferred to CU Denver, where I roomed with my best friend and already had lots of buddies. The environment was so much more chill and not like Boulder at all, but the same thing happened, I couldn't organize studying and turning in assignments, and eventually stopped going to classes. I've been struggling with this for three years, and now that I know what I have, i'm looking for treatments.

What are your experiences with burnout? And do you have any treatments that worked for you? I feel like I wasted my Freshman year of college and am now back in Texas, the state I was so excited to leave. I feel like i'm back at square one after three years of trying and I need to start actually making progress. I am a driven person, and am VERY interested in the major I chose, and have been committed to wanting to get a PhD in Neuroscience my whole life, but i'm losing hope. Any advice is greatly appreciated :)