r/AutisticBurnout

Hi I just really need some commisersteuon so I don’t feel like I’m literally gonna be alone for the rest of my life. At the beginning of March, I started my first full time, 8-5 law office job. In a lot of ways I like it, but I never get enough time to fully recover so I’m starting every week already in a mental load/energy deficit and it gets worse every week as I never get the chance to get back to baseline. These friends and I used to text every day, FaceTime frequently, they wanted to share things with me and hang out with me. Now one of them is in town (she moved away after high school) and they never even texted me to let me know that she was here. One of the the other friends literally turned off her location on both find my friends and Snapchat, and I can’t help but feel like it’s so I don’t realize they’re hanging out together without me. I’m just so worn out ALL THE TIME and don’t have the energy I did before I started this new job, but I feel like they don’t ever appreciate my efforts they just stopped trying almost immediately. I would still text in the group chat, try to set up FaceTimes, and they just… wouldn’t even respond. I’m kinda devastated and I feel like I no longer have literally any friends in this city, and I feel like my friendships with people out of this city have fallen by the wayside too because I haven’t had the energy to keep in touch over text or FaceTime with them either. I feel so empty and lonely and anxious and sad and I wish people would give me the kind of grace I give them 😞 please reassure my I’m not alone or a bad person or unloveable 😭😭😭😭😭

What are the online spaces you’ve found supportive as a late identified autistic person?

Please be specific. So instead of “discord” share the server name. Instead of “peer support” drop a link to the support group. Instead of “reddit” list the subreddit. Offerings change and spaces change so it’s helpful for me to know what exists right now.

And drop a line or two about why it’s been supportive if you‘re up for it!

I’m open to dms as well, especially for online affinity spaces (eg groups for people who are queer, trans, and/or BIPOC).

41 year old queer person here (he/they).
Back in Feb I was struggling so much with my mental health that I was incapable of doing even basic things, couldn’t do basic work tasks, was in a frozen state most of the time or doomscrolling to avoid the horror of being completely incapacitated, I was waking up feeling more exhausted every day and desperately pushing through each day then each hour then each minute to the point that I couldn’t handle it anymore. I was self medicating with weed as it was the only thing that seemed to pull me out of the frozen state but it was temporary and wasn’t sustainable so went to the GP. I’ve had a prolonged period (around 3 years) of bereavements, close family members with cancer and intense work stress - I felt like I was running on fumes. I’d completely isolated myself and was barely hanging on. The GP prescribed sertraline - was very reluctant to taking it as I haven’t fared well on that kind of medication in the past. The sertraline make me feel like I was on drugs all day every day without the happy feelings and whilst I started to have energy again and the fatigue wasn’t as crippling, I started to spiral because the brain fog hadn’t lifted and I was still unable to function but it felt like my brain now had the energy to worry more about it.

After a crappy and unsupportive interaction with my boss about 2 weeks after starting sertraline, I took time off and started to spiral trying to figure out how to fix myself. I had just been diagnosed with anxiety disorder and was referred for ADHD assessment (felt fairly sure it was there just never got assessed) but the spiral was completely out of control and I didn’t sleep for 4 days. I had what the GP thinks was a sertraline induced manic episode with psychosis. GP was referring me to the crisis team but they wouldn’t touch me because it was “a medication issue” and I got passed between them for days. It felt like my brain completely shut down. Completely dissociated and was awake but not conscious at all. The crisis team finally started taking me seriously and started to come to my home every 2 days and then passed me on to the Community Treatment Team. They have been mostly terrible and not supportive at all. I feel like they’re just biding time until they can say I’m “better”. The month following my “breakdown” I had crazy symptoms: extreme exhaustion, physical heaviness, brain fog, muscle pain/cramps, restless legs, very little broken sleep, identity issues, intense need to fight back, speech issues/stammer, trouble word-finding, returning depression with panic/overwhelm, obsessive rumination loops, hyper-sensitive to sounds/smells/feelings etc, temperature spikes and over-heating in emotional situations, eating/self-care feels impossible, seasickness-like imbalance, memory issues, forgetfulness, slow-thinking, mood up and down like a yoyo and suicidal ideation.

I got my ADHD diagnosis soon after and she said she believes I also have Autism. Always considered myself as having “quirks” but was seen as a fairly high achiever for a lot of my life so never took it further. but during the breakdown/mania my brain felt like the most powerful thing in the world and it was like my whole life opened up in my brain and I could see repeating patterns of behaviour my whole life like moving constantly and never being able to stick a job more than a few years and I was able to pinpoint everything that pointed towards my neurodivergence.

The CTT finally sent me a queer case worker with AuDHD and after seeing me for around a month she suggested that she believes it’s severe Autistic/ADHD burnout and after reading more about it I was overcome with emotion because it finally felt like someone understood what was wrong with me after begging for an explanation for 2 months.

At this point, it’s been 4 months since the breakdown. They’ve given me mirtazapine (I have also been on amitriptyline for years) and I’m waiting on an autism diagnosis. But I’m now suffering with the most severe fatigue of my life. Executive dysfunction is the worst it’s ever been. Self care feels completely impossible. Need daily support. I feel like this is bone deep and it’s going to last forever (logically I know that’s not the case but can’t help be be overtaken by the thought). Struggling with monumental grief that the person I was before feels like they’re long gone and I’m not sure what is left in this shell. I keep getting told to listen to my body and rest but I feel like I’m just rotting away. After 2-3 solid months of mostly being in bed and being unable to initiate basic self care it’s really getting to me. It’s made me feel a lot better to read people’s stories on here and see people have went through similar stuff and come out the other side but ngl it’s been ROUGH and I could do with hearing from people who have faced something similar and are out the other side. Especially those who have been through the NHS MH system. I have historically been a highly sociable, intelligent and high achieving person my whole life and I suddenly feel incapable of the most basic of things.

Sorry to get so HEAVY but I felt like this would be a good place to let it all out because the mental health teams in the UK are not made for ND queer people - that much is plainly clear! Any support or guidance on how to handle this awful part of recovery would be very much appreciated 🫶

I don't know what I can do anymore... I've seemed to try everything to help my burnout, other than taking time off work, but nothing seems to help and I just keep getting worse everyday..

I'm scared I won't be able to afford my bills or groceries if I take time away from work, I'm already working the least I can while still being able to afford my bills and I'm still scraping by...

I'm at the point of beating my head with my fist and throwing up while also on the verge of tears all day while working and when I'm not working I'm dwelling on the fact I have to return the next day or next couple days.

This is so exhausting and I feel like such a sorry excuse for a person cause I can't function or do anything..

I started a new job making roughly %50 more, so for the first time in my life I don’t have to scrape by, BUT the job is MUCH more stressful and I have to work in person (even though it could easily be done remotely).

It’s one week in and I want to give up, and it’s mostly due to working in person. I also have a chronic illness (dysautonomia), so everything is amplified. My health went from being at the best point in my life to dramatically going downhill. The added stress of commuting and losing 3 hours of my day is pushing me over the edge and I don’t know whether to stick with it, try to convince them to let me work from home, or just quit and pray that I can get my old job back. I have only been at the new job for a week. I now have one hour of free time per day then I HAVE to sleep, otherwise I’m fucked. I’m even having nightmares every night.

I’m so fucking tired of following my ambitions, then being brought back to the reality that I have severe limitations and have to live a life of extremely minimal stress and human interaction. Anyone else?

I have been dealing with burnout for last couple of months, and it really got worse in the last week. I am a person in STEM academia, and I found out that after giving my everything to a project for two years, it's not worthy enough to be publishable. I felt so heartbroken, I lost my appetite, I lost my ability to focus on basic stuff. I made the mistake of making my work my entire life...and now that it amounted to nothing, I lost my purpose. I've always found it hard to make new friends...most of them seem to be incredibly performative before you can actually get to know them, and I'm so tired of it. I'm tired of reaching out everytime, and at the same time, I am tired of having to do everything by myself.

Tldr: My burnout got worse after professional failure. The realisation that I don't have a life outside my work crushed me and left me feeling empty.