When I search for a specific video that I remember using most of the titles keywords, its often a very big struggle to find it.

Worse: if I use the extra search options, youtube starts tripping and giving me incorrect search results that don't match the filters at all.

Worse than that: sometimes it just fills the videos scroll with completely unrelated to the title content.

Or I just infinitely scroll past the same videos repeating.

Fuck youtubes search algorithm. I don't want to see videos that I might find interesting. I want to see the video that I'm searching for.

How do I bypass this stupidity?

I don't like the taste of water, syrup, pop or soda, juice, milk or anything of proper liquid that I can think of.

And I also don't feel thirsty often.

Any time I discover a new drink that I enjoy, its just novel tbh and it lasts a few days or weeks but then I'm bored of it too and it starts tasing badly.

Tasting.

Result: I don't drink much. Even if I'm thirsty I sometimes don't drink because theres no drink that I really enjoy and my body seems to reject and resist anything I try to drink.

How do I solve this problem?

I'm 26 years old.

• Two years ago, Ive often had my heart beating like crazy at night but the doctors always found nothing interesting with the ecgs.
• One year and a few days ago, I got the AF. HR varied between I think 55, and 122 at home. Got up to 166 in the hospital with minimum 100.
• Ever since then it didnt come back... atleast that I know of!

However sometimes at night I still wake up to my heart pounding. Either or its:

• Beating very fast
• Beating slowly but very strongly, my body will shake with it.

And yesterdaynight that happened again. shortly after falling asleep I woke back up to feel my heart beating very fast. I then quickly decided to measure it with the quickest easiest possible method: Placed my hand on my chest and counted the beats per second. That was 5 and 5x60 is 300. How accurate am I with this? About 90%, I'm very good at accurate counting of seconds or events per second in my head. So it must've been anywhere between 270 and 330 BPM. Even the low end is very high.

Weird thing: I waited it out a few minutes, it stayed steadily at the 300BPM, but when I stood up from the bed my HR immediately became normal!!

Since the doctors office and hospital were closed during that time, I asked my friend chatGPT. It said what I felt might not have been heart beats. But I doubt that. It was very regular though. It did feel like heartbeats. Not like a spasming muscle. And it went on for minutes.

Guys I still can't reach the hospital right now.

What could this be and why does it always only happen at night never during day?

I(26) miss dad extremely much. My always loving dad got sick unexpectedly 3 years ago and had a very rapid deathbed.

Then he didnt see me grow up to be a proper adult. I didnt make any grand gestures of love to him unless saying the phrase counts.

I feel guilty that I wasnt a good child and that I was so difficult to raise and handle. That I took both my parents for granted.

Relied on them and benefitted from them but didnt do much in return, only little things sometimes.

As a child and teenager I didnt realize how much I love dad but now I do.

For 3 years now, I rarely think about dad but when I do, I feel overwhelmed by the pain of the loss and its too painful, too intense, maybe thats why I rarely have the emotion.

I live in the Netherlands. Done a very quick calculation guess: if the average amount of required lesson hours is 43 before being able to pass the xam properly and my driving instructor gives me only 1 hour per week, then the expected time to obtain my license is atleast 43 weeks which is 10 months.

Thats ridiculous I want my license much faster than taking 10 months for it unnecessarily. But the instructor has no more available time for increasing the lessons.

He is a good driving instructor and I've also bought a package of lessons + the exam so ofcourse I'm going to continue with this instructor. As a "primary" instructor maybe.

But I want to get an extra instructor. That will be from another different driving school then.

Then, I would be having 2 instructors at once. Would that be efficient or could that be efficient? And how would I make that work the most efficiently? Would I just be alternating my lessons between both of the 2 driving schools?

But instructor 1 doesnt properly know what ive been learning and practising with instructor 2 and vice versa... maybe they also teach different styles which may confuse me.

TLDR:

• I don't want to leave my current instructor.
• I don't want to stick with a total of 1 hour per week.
• Therefore I want to get an extra instructor and then have both instructors involved in my driving lesson journey.

Guys, what is advisable and how should I go about it? And if I do get a second instructor, should I tell my first instructor? I feel like that would be an awkward talk. "Btw I got a 2nd instructor from another school because you dont give me enough lessons per week"

Any general advice too? What should And shouldn't I do here?

In my country I can't legally practise on the road with a parent or friend. And Ive already learned the basiss that I would learn from secretly driving on a quiet road or parkinglot anyway.

So right now I'm stuck with having only 1 lesson per week of 60 minutes long each.

Thats undoubtedly very little because then it will take me months to get my DL, but hows the efficiency of it?

How much skill do I preserve after 1 week of waiting?

Does 1 hour per week only, greatly affect the total number of hours of practise that will need?

Better: does anyone have actual data statistics for this?

I need help. I really need help. But what is that? what is help? is it a therapist telling me things I already know? I don't think so and I've had many therapists over many years, thats brought me to conclude that simply talking about my problems does not solve the problems.

When I was 19, I peaked extremely high in college. I was the guy that where my classmates would purposefully sit next to me or behind me during an exam so they could peek.

At some point I got a burnout. A normal regular burnout that I quickly recovered from. but not fully 100%.

When I was 22, in january 2022, I transitioned from being the peak student to being the lowest grade student. ALL of my grades were too low to pass. I failed ALL the tests and exams, no exception. I decided to quit uni, I recognized the burnout situation and that it was too much to handle.

Ever since then, almost 4 whole years now, Ive been surviving and existing in the parental home. Dad died unexpectedly in 2023 so that certainly didnt help.

And not only am I unable to do a study or job..... I'm also unable to take care of myself.

• I rarely brush my teeth
• I rarely shower
• I can't fix my diet or sleep schedule
• By default I procrastinate tasks past their deadlines, resulting in bad consequences.
• I don't manage to pay bills in time, purely due to my lack of energy to deal with administrative things. Ive gotten raised invoices already, those reminders where the owed amount got raised by extra much for being late and due date.
• I miss appointments because I either forget, or am still asleep during the first half of the day.
• I disappoint the people in my life. Like all of them, on a regular basis. In so many ways. Strongly.
• If I get an unexpected phone call no matter how important, I just let it ring and ignore it... I can't deal with it. In the past it was never a problem, but now that demands a level of mental energy I just don't have.
• I've gotten heavily addicted to gaming and internetting recently. I have ZERO control over it, too.
• Top of that I also have ADHD and depression and anhedonia and problems regarding questioning my gender
• I break promises, which is something I absolutely hate. I hate breaking promises and I hate when people break promises, I believe a promise is something very serious and meaningful. But life pressures me to promise things that are hard or imporssible for me to fulfill due to my lack of energy and then the inevitable happens.

Ive had many years of therapy. Ive had multiple social workers. Ive had medication. Ive talked with doctors and hospitals. No one was able to truly help me or to even to truly understand my problem.

Idk. I'm literally just passively existing, unable to work on anything, no goal, no progress, FUCK THIS.

My normal day:

• I wake up tired because I went to bed late. Or occasionally if im lucky, I managed to get my 10 hours of needed sleep.
• Breakfast without brushing teeth.
• Game and internet or watch tv
• dinner
• game and internet or watch tv
• around 5am or some other ridiculous time I go back to bed again

It feels so fucking pointless and hopeless.

Why is my energy so rockbottom that I can't do anything productive at all? I'm ROCK BOTTOM

Because this is chronic and no professional "help" was able to actually help me, I don't know whats the point in trying to continue. Why should I continue passively existing and suffering? I'm unable to properly live anyway.

I fucking can't do anything.

Every day, things on my todolist are expiring past their deadlines, people are getting disappointed by my broken promises, and the shame just grows bigger and bigger every day.

I know many people who are heavily burnt out. But I know no one else who has it worse than me.

And fuckkkkk I get so mad when people with zero expertise start telling me how to solve my burnout. Just do that, just do this, youre doing this to yourself, and so on etc. Or worse "I'm tired sometimes too but I still do the hard work even when I feel tired" (their "tired" is actually my "energized on a good day")

I'm so sick of it, someone give me hope or tell me what kind of help, what type of help even exists for me? I don't consider therapy to be help, its literally just talking and talking has been proven to not solve any of my problems. And the doctor just tests my blood and shrugs when it shows no deficients. The medication is a painfully slow journey of experimentation which may or may not even help me.

Guys, what do I do from here? The regular "professional help" doesn't cut it for me.

I think if I keep existing like this I will eventually be homeless and starve because I completely lack the energy to care for myself.

I live in the parental home with a disability income, thankfully. Else I would definitely be homeless, possibly starved or dead.

For example its 1 hour before bedtime. I have a specific game and a specific new strategy in my mind, and I just have to test it and make it work. I launch the game. Then something goes wrong, like: game crashes, my wifi cuts out or off, I lose, the strategy didnt work or as intended, other players mess up, and so on.

Then for me that feels like "unresolved problem with uncertainty needs to be fixed asap" so I'm extremely compulsed to keep going and keep trying until I made it work. Ive already started so there is no stopping until I'm done.

Because of this, its suddenly 5AM in the morning and its already fully light outside. In a few hours I have to get up, and my body responds very badly to lack of sleep.

Why can't I just tell myself "I will try this tomorrow" or "I will continue trying this tomorrow"? It feels painful and impossible to do.

I don't want to stop gaming. Gaming is the only real hobby I have and its also a psychological need, a way to detach myself from the stressful world that bvurns me out and frustrates me. A little virtual world where I can be strong and succesful. I want to gain control over when and how long I game, so that I game for a good reason and not for those dumb compulsions.

Because the post may come across as a certain way, here I state: I don't think that I know better than the driving instructor. But I do think he has given me a simplified rule.

The instructor has told me, for such 90 thin road corners, I should downshift to 2. Reason: you can do it in 3, but the low RPMs will wear the engine.

However I think what he secretly meant is: if you combine low RPM with a heavy load, then its very bad for the engine. So I think that maybe if youre very extra gentle with the gas pedal, it shouldn't hurt the motor to be in like 1000 rpm for example (if 750 idling) for a few seconds.

And downshifting means that for a few seconds, the engine is idling even lower RPM. When I press the clutch in, the engine will be spinning at 750 RPM. And down+up shifting means I have to wear the clutch twice.

So I'm not sure what the true reasoning is. Why do those corners have to be taken in 2nd not in 3rd?

Context:

• I'm 26 years old.
• My way of thinking is that I always want to know the proper why and the proper how behind things.
• Netherlands here, with professional driving school instructor only! Avg required lessons per population is 43 hours before passing the drivingexam.
• Past after the mock lesson Ive had 5 hours of driving lessons so far.

I overthink things so much. Almost every person in my life that knows me well has said the phrase something like "you overthink" or "dont overthink it" atleast once to me...

I want to properly know the why and the how, which means

• Instead of: "when we go downhill, downshift."
• I would rather hear: "when we go downhill, you probably need to downshift, because in a lower gear the engine will do more enginebraking which prevents brake fade and also prevents unnecessary wear on the break pads"(and the explanation may continue) -->>> then I can quickly become an independant driver that applies logic everytime in order to come to good decisions while driving.

Ofcourse I tend to be a stubborn person, that even extends to conversations with experts. I will ofcourse believe and trust that they really know the stuff that theyre talking about, but that doesnt mean I blindly follow their advices without questioning it or asking for extra nuance.

I also like deep preparation. I wish that my instructor would say "tomorrow we are going to practise A for which the procedure is B" such that I can then think and read about it, building a mental model of it before I get my hands on it.

I feel like my instructor might not be compatible with my learning style

He doesnt prepare me for anything in advance. I just get in the car clueless what we will be doing that day or even which place or city we will be driving to. He doesnt really explain anything beforehand. He just gives me immediate instructions only. Like turn here.

• Turn right here.
• Off the gas.
• Upshift.
• (and more immediate instructions to be compressed here)

Thats it! Thats all his teaching! Immediate instructions only. Except when I actively ask him for further explanations, then he is surely willing to give brief explanations, but he doesnt do so on his own without me asking.

I want to understand before doing. And it seems the instructor wants me to do before understanding. Those are 2 fundamentally different, even opposite of ways of learning a skill.

I want to study everything before the lesson so that I can finish completing the mental model. Then in the driving lesson I can just practise it, and waste no time for the cognitive processing.

One example where his teaching didnt match my learning:

1. I already know how to drive a manual car without stalling.
2. Instructor tells me that the method I know about is unwanted because it is too slow. Okay, valid. So my method works but not fast enough for traffic. He tells me a different method that I should apply during lessons and the exam. But then I took all his words very literally.
3. I did exactly what he had said. Stall, stall, stall!
4. Eventually multiple lessons later, it turns out that he actually meant something slightly different, so I tried that and yup! Ever from that point on I didnt stall anymore, just one time only.
5. All of those hours where I kept stalling the car..... could have been avoided if he was just more accurate with the explanation in the first place, because I want to do things right and if the instructor strongly implies "do my method only", then I'm gonna do it literally word for word how he explains it. So if his explanation is slightly off, I don't think further, I just do exactly what he says and then wonder "why cant I make the instructors method work for me" rather than "is this actually exactly what the instructor meant"

Idk. I feel like the teaching and learning styles are not very compatible. But Ive heard from many people in my family that this instructor is a very good one, they also got their lessons from him and passed, so I take that for granted.

Are there any tips for:

1. My communication with the driving instructor
2. My analyzing, overthinking and learning inbetween the lessons at home?
3. My learning approach while driving in the car with him?

.

I'm asking the question because my instructor has a very busy schedule so I can hardly get to ask him questions, especially outside of driving lessons.

The driving instructor wants me to do the following procedure:

1. we are driving 40 to 60 km/h.
2. We see a corner coming. Or a bend.
3. Foot goes on the brake
4. clutch in
5. Downshift to 2
6. clutch up
7. only now foot off the brake.
8. accelerate back up
9. upshift again

My question is: why the braking? Because I can see 2 alternatives:

1. Downshift a bit earlier well before the corner. Then being in 2nd gear will engine brake the car
2. Roll before the corner until speed is low enough to do the corner. Downshift for the reacceleration.

I want to eat properly and obtain all the nutrients my body needs. But I face many obstaclts:

1. I find nutrition very complex so I'm not sure which list of foods I would need per day exactly. I know the basics: 2 pieces of fruit, some milk and cheese products, bread, nuts, veggies. But I know that alone isnt enough probably.
2. I'm not much of a fruits and veggies eater.
3. I'm vegetarian so no meat or fish.
4. I know I lack protein and I know many proteinrich foods but I still can't figure out which one to actually add to my diet!
5. I don't feel hungry often so I eat very little per day.

Ive been trying to fix this for years but I just can't.

Thats maybe worth noting that I tend to overcomplicate things. And I have a burnout so figuring out a good complete nutrition plan is extremely difficult for me so I just avoid it!!!

I get extremely obsessed with things for unknown reason.

1. Driving. I'm working on getting my license and I currently get only 1 lesson hour per week now. Inbetween those lessons, for the remaining 167 hours of trhe week, I compulsively think and dream about driving and I also can't stop watching videos about driving and posting and reading and commenting on the driving and the stickshift subreddit.

2. Games. If I have a specific new strategy in mind on a specific type of game, then I have to test the theory into the practise ASAP. That often means pulling an allnighter that I then regret on the next day.

Both examples share one element: I want to put my theoretical knowledge to the test, preferably in practise.

Why do I get so obsessed that it messes with my life currently? And how do I stop being so unhealthily obsessed with things?

(Drivers license yep) heres some context:

• I'm 26 years old
• and I recently started driving lessons in a manual
• Ive never yet driven automatic

So now I finally understand why driving a manual is hard to learn. The clutching and shifting are very easy actions to do, but they add a +1 to the big list of multitasking in a car and that makes it so difficult and challenging.

Heres a list of what I find easy:

• Accelerating form a stop
• Upshifting on a straight stretch of road
• Downshifting if I properly timed it before the corner and stoplight

Heres a list of what I find very difficult:

• Acting properly if I didnt time properly and I need to simultaneously downshift and steer or brake significantly
• Shifting if the traffic and the road is taking up so much of my attention already.

Partly because of this, the instructor is not letting me do motorway practising yet.

How do I improve those aspects more rapidly to move on to next stage of driving lessons?

The driving school has given me 6 hours of lesson now so far.

Ive noticed a common problem when I shift, especially downshift: I'm rightlefthanded so steering with onnly only my left hand is not very smooth and the instructor had to grab the wheel multiple times. Also, I have slightly less focus available when shifting even though I don't need to look at the stick.

To be honest if I have my drivers license, I would just wait with the shifting until I find a moment of straight stretch. I would shift either before or after a corner turn. For an intersection with a turn, I would probably first complete the whole turn and then start upshifting to 2. Or maybe am I supposed to first upshift to 2, and only then worry about the steering into the corner? But what if its a multi lane road with other cars next to me also steering, I don't wanna collide with those because I was too busy with the upshifting leaving me no proper focus for what happens around me.

Do they want to see on exams, that, typically, I'm able to multitask steering and shifting? Or would it be fine if I show that I make it easy for myself? I would be showing the choice that I'm driving maybe a bit less fuel efficient, but have better focus forsafety available.

Dad, 3 years ago. I love and miss him extremely much. I'm only 26 now and was only 23 then so he didnt get to see me grow up fully. He didnt see me traveling on my own, getting my drivers license(soon), finally obtaining the disability income we been fighting for and all that. The family has always been his biggest concern, above himself. He has always wanted me and the family to do well, me to become independent and all that.

The way it happened was weird and rapid and unexpected. I hate cancer.

Now I worry that I may not be properly grieving. I know people say there is no right or wrong way but I'm not sure if I agree with that.

I'm not much an emotional person. Maybe its due to growing up as a guy learning from the global environment that crying is weak. Have autism too. So I rarely ever express my emotion and it all just bottles up inside my head. I dont cry much and I dont think about sad things much.

But occasionally these feelings come up and make me feel desperate and sucidal because its too painful, its too much to feel. It feels like my life is irrepairably broken because fundamental components are missing (the loved ones for example) and that it isnt going the way its supposed to be going.

I think it will maybe help me to have a place or support group that where I can let my feelings out, but I don't know.

I know. I can ask the instructor all my questions and some may be tired of seeing my posts. Feel free to just not read my postt then. I only get to see my instructor once per week so that means for 167 hours in the week I do not get to find the answers to my questions! Also I often forget to ask many questions when in the car with him so will ask them here instead of textbombing him in his free time.

So my theoretical understanding is that 2 to 4 is perfectly doable and doesnt have big downsides. If normally I would shift into 3 at 40 and 4 at 60, I can just accelerate to 55 in 2 then shift to 4 right

On my bicycle I always skip gears when it comes to accelerating.

• Ebike: accelerate in 1, then shift straight to 6 (max7)
• Normal bike with 7gear: if im gonna be cruising in 5th then I do 1, 3, 5.

Ineed advice, the way I prefer to do things is for example:

1. Roll until low revs
2. Then Brake to the wanted speed (for example 25kmh in steep corners) , clutch in.
3. Downshift to the wanted gear, lets say the 1 or 2.
4. Now, ive adjusted my speed and the gear, I will now actually reach the corner or the roundabout or intersection, I can fully focus on the traffic around me and the steering!

But what do examiners wanna see? Do they want me to do it the easy way which is preparing and timing everything, or do they want me to show heavy multitasking skills where I do all those steps simultaneously?

I have this problem with the availability of drivings schools where I can only obtain 1 hour per week of lessons. Given the average lessons to pass is 43 in the country, I don't wanna be waiting 43 weeks to get my license.

I'm 26 and need a car soon.

Are there any ways to boost speed up my learning process without getting more lesson hours of lessons?

I do drivinglessons right now. When I press the gas with the clutch floored fully, even the most slight amount, it will go from idling to 3000 RPM. That means a jump from 750 to 3000 in one go, and thats with the most smallest tiny movement I can do with my foot.

Ive tried different shoes, different foot positions... I have 5 hours of experience in this car now, too.

Yet I see videos about driving where even new students on their first lesson manage to very precisely control the engine RPMs, they can hold it at 1500, they can slowly add increments of 100... howtf?????

So either my foot has extremely imprecise control, or the car I do lessons in just doesn't let people do less than 3000 RPM in neutral.

Which one is it? Ok fair it could be both.

But I do think I really think that it just can't be done in the car I do lessons in. When I move my foot up and down in what feels like the smallest possible increments, the engine will just alternate back and forth between 750 and 3000 RpM.