r/anhedonia

I recently discovered the term “anhedonia,” and it describes exactly what I’m experiencing.

For context, I have Crohn’s disease and tried several treatments for it years ago, but none of them had any positive effect.

As my symptoms got worse (I lost almost 50 lbs), I decided to undergo FMT, which worked very well for my Crohn’s disease but, a few minutes after the FMT, it completely took away my sense of humanity and also caused sexual dysfunction. This was 6 months ago, and nothing has improved since.

Could trying antidepressants help me, considering that my problems are not related to any traumatic or dramatic events, but rather seem to have been caused by a bad reaction to the FMT?

Thank you for your response

I'm 26. How are you guys doing?

​Before this all started, I was a very deep, creative thinker. I loved sketching, coming up with engineering ideas (like building robots), and I truly enjoyed the little things in life, like the feeling of the morning sunshine. But during the summer holidays while I was at home, my emotions started fading away very slowly. At first, I didn't fully realize what was happening; I just noticed everything starting to feel flat and hollow.

​To try and fill that empty gap, I would overstimulate myself, like watching two phones at the same time. I knew something was wrong, which led me to start searching online for different illnesses. That health anxiety spiraled until I had a panic attack. Luckily, it was only one, and I managed to get control of myself. A doctor prescribed a very low-dose SSRI, but I don't think it really did anything—I was mostly just surviving by holding my thoughts together and fighting the feeling myself.

​The month following that panic attack was the worst experience of my life, honestly worse than dying. I had absolutely zero feelings, my mind couldn't grab onto a single thought, and it felt like my brain was physically slipping into a void. It is completely impossible to explain that level of nothingness in words. Over time, the only way I found to cope was to ignore the feeling instead of confronting it. I became about 80% successful at ignoring the void, especially when I was working and distracted, but the emotional flatness never left.

​Slowly, after about five to six months, a few negative emotions broke through—I started feeling anger, frustration, and shame. Then, around eight or nine months in, I experienced a tiny breakthrough: I was working in a restaurant, and a very strict chef gave me a compliment. For about 20 to 30 seconds, I felt a genuine burst of little happiness, but then it immediately went completely flat again. I realized I could only feel tiny bits of excitement at very high, extreme levels of stimulation.

​Now, because I no longer have a job and am spending more time at home, that terrifying feeling of my mind "slipping into the void" returned about two months ago. When I am alone and doing nothing, that unexplainable nothingness confronts me head-on. Because I don't have any natural emotions to keep my mind genuinely occupied, it feels like my brain desperately tries to grab onto anything just to stay busy. The only way I can distract myself is through extremely high stimulation, but the second the distraction stops, the void is right there. I just don't know what is wrong with me.

​Today, my emotions are still entirely flat. I wake up in the morning and feel absolutely nothing. Even when I am actively joking with friends, I am maybe feeling 1% of the emotion I should be feeling. The rest of the time, I just get this weird, unexplainable sinking and dropping sensation in my stomach because my brain recognizes that I am not truly experiencing the joy around me.

​I have been mentally fighting and resisting this for a full year. I honestly just want my emotions, my creativity, and my peace back. Can anyone relate to this, can anyone help me with this, and has anyone actually gotten out of it?

Most anhedonic people I know are telling me they have lost every emotion. I experience something else. I can cry, be angry and have fears. What‘s the difference between these two types? The one without emotional numbness is depression related?

Kind of like a parent who isn’t really involved in their child’s life. I’ve noticed that a lot of the people around me live very intentionally. But I spend so much time in my head thinking about how to **** myself that I forget there are other things to do. And even when I remember I don’t want to do them because they don’t do anything for me mentally or emotionally.

Male 25yo,live active life,gym 2-3x time a week,doing active job,but somehow gain in 10kg in last 1.5-2 month(approximately have connsumatory anhedonia since that time).

Before connsumatory anhedonia, my weight was 84 and I couldn't move it.Even when I overeat almost evryday.

Now with anhedonia my hunger decrease dramatically,i started eat clean but I gain weight and it seem not muscle but mainly fat.

Stomach bloating,I can wake up with seemingly normal stomach but after small portion of food, it's swelling up.Before I riche that point when I overeat like X2 of normal portion.

Does someone experience something similar?

Can it be related to anhedonia or nerve system/stomach problem?