r/anhedonia

Just curious if anyone had surgery or something and had to get morphine or even fent. and how would this feel like for people with PSSD. does it cause crashes?

It’s getting to me today. Sometimes I’m fine with it, and other times I’m breaking inside. It never ends. Every day is the same. I wish I at least had the creativity to make art or put my suffering into storytelling. I miss being a child, cause that’s the last time I remember enjoying life and taking delight in simple things. I’m working on getting disability and hope that will at least alleviate my financial stress. I don’t work right now and have my student lones on hold. I would say God really fucked up my life, but I don’t believe in one. I am always alone. I am always living in this shit. I try not to complain, but fuck this.

Is this a sign of brain damage? I got this from a mild to moderate tbi of frontal lobes and can't feel any substances, just the same nothing feeling nonstop. I cry all day everyday with no relief. Alcohol used to make me feel euphoria now it's like water. Shrooms are trippy visually and mentally but I get no body high or happy feelings. Weed does nothing.

I've been prescribed prozac and I'm praying it will somehow reset my brain but judging by the stories here I'm being delusional.

This is hell

Context: 35f, depression since 12. On meds since 12. Past 4 months been trialing new meds as I felt maybe my body was getting used to the med I took for so long, something out there could be better. Recently realized I’m in the throes of anhedonia..

For the past 6 months or so, my processing speed, memory and attention span has been dwindling. I keep chalking it up to the different meds I’m trying, with-drawling and starting over, over and over.

I used to be so dang sharp. Witty. Joke on the drop of a hat. Multitasking queen, I could remember every single note, face, name and task I did at work the past 2 years prior.

Now I am making mistakes. Doing things I don’t really remember doing. Unable to fully concentrate, or multitask. I just started a new job so how embarrassing is it, when I used to be so damn confident in everything I did, because I was GOOD. Anything I tried to do, I usually succeeded. Extremely competitive, had to be the best, usually was.

Now I feel like on top of my body failing me (joints feel like they are disintegrating, partly from being in bed too much from anhedonia) a few knee surgeries, foot surgeries, bilateral hand surgery upcoming..

I’m terrified that my brain is following this route. My IQ is something I highly rely on, something I’m proud of. Learning and knowledge has always made me happy, I thrived. Now I feel like my brain is so fucking full of nothing, I can’t even think anymore. I don’t have a lot of responsibility, on my own accord, due to said mental illness, but I have now, for example, forgotten my god damn doctor appointment phone call THREE TIMES IN A ROW. She’s threatening to cancel me. three times!!!!!! I had sticky notes on my desk and an alarm on my phone, and still, at that exact minute, forgot about them. Thought completely disappeared from my brain within 10 minutes of telling myself: DONT FORGET!

I’m so scared this is a permanent thing, and not just brain fog from medication changes and work environment changes. This is not me. I feel stupid. And I know I’m no where near stupid. The info is all there, the knowledge of what I have to do is there, but I become overwhelmed so much easier now. And I feel this is a very quick and drastic change. It wasn’t slow.

I don’t feel like myself. Is this how disease works? Am I just going to get worse? Is there science behind depression and loss of brain function? Can anyone comment on that?

Tell me the truth, good or bad. But please don’t comment on my lifestyle or my mental illness in a negative way.

I know this sub is generally anti-SSRI and understandably so, but some do have a positive response from it and I'm just wondering since prozac tends to be the most energizing/stimulating SSRI and has 5ht2c antagonism, if it helped anyone here with avolition/anhedonia?

Like literally lifting my tooth brush to brush my teeth, feels like the hardest task in mankind. Cleaning my room feels like lifting a million pounds. Even getting up to get a glass of water is terrible. I also never feel rested no matter how much I sleep. And my body feels like theirs weights on it. I ask this because ive noticed not all anheodnics have this symptom. And that scares me. Because that means theirs more damage I have to recover from bruh

Completely ruined my life. It worked great for six weeks and then never again and they kept me on it for years, because it's usually a miracle drug that fixes everything for everybody and nobody believed that it wasn't doing *anything.* Instead I became anhedonic and apathetic, became unable to work and got on disability, and worst of all, my first novel got positive attention but I got years-long writer's block because I just couldn't come up with any ideas I cared about. I couldn't "hear the music" anymore either - basically, when you do creative writing, your sentences have a sense of prosody that you sort of instinctually "hear", it's not like talking or writing a post on Reddit - so when I sat down and forced myself to write, which was like pulling teeth, everything was a dry emotionless husk with prose that flowed like a brick. So I lost my window to write a follow-up. Killed both my ability to have a real job and my ability to have a career in the arts. I also became an alcoholic just to try and squeeze some pleasure out of life and get a reprieve from how much of an annoying drag it is to be alive. All this time nobody really suspected the lamotrigine because it's just such a good little drug for every other person who takes it.

I'm done tapering off it as of yesterday - my seizures haven't returned and neither have my bipolar mood episodes, it was seriously doing nothing for me - and I hope I can reclaim my life. I would really like to quit drinking, I managed a stretch of almost four months sober and absolutely nothing changed. Still no energy for things, still no pleasure in anything, still no inspiration, still in a low-key bad mood all day. That isn't what the wellness influencers told me would happen. :( It's also annoying because I'm trying to get help and therapists keep telling me, okay, next time you want to drink, let's redirect you to an activity you enjoy and I just...dude, I do not enjoy *anything.* I could be playing with a kitten or enjoying the world's best video game or moving boxes at an Amazon warehouse and it would all be the exact same level of stressful drudgery. The only thing that feels even a little good is exercise and that's not going to work very well as a distraction because I'm already doing so much of it a day, including rucking or hiking or just walking on the road for hours, and there's just a limit. (I could maybe work on moving my workout to the late afternoon when I usually start drinking, but one of the only things I actually like is spending the first couple hours of the morning doing outdoor exercise. Ugh, I don't know, I'll figure something out.)

Anyway. Yeah, this drug sucked. I hope the changes weren't permanent and if they are I hope I find some better way to cope with them.

Also, if anyone responds to this post saying "oh well for me lamotrigine saved my life", I'm sending an ape to your house. An angry one that needs to shit.

There are times when I get this sense of dullness in me and the triggers that cause this sense of dullness usually goes down to:

- Getting scolded and berated.

- Seeing others succeed in their ambitions when I'm unable to.

- My creative works such as writing and art being constantly overlooked.

- Being told what am I going to do with my future (I dropped out after graduating high school, I'm practically a NEET now).

- My intrusive thoughts coming from my Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

- The fact that I'll never be able to succeed in life and just become yet another bottom of the barrel statistic of a mentally ill dumbass who can't do anything and will most likely die alone and incompetent.

- The fact that I have no control over my life so much that I seek refuge into my own imagination only for reality to drag my ass back in when I don't want to stay in real life anymore.

Those are usually the things that trigger my Anhedonia, Depression or any feeling of inadequate dullness or whatever....

Now I want to know how you guys deal with that and how do you cope with it?

My life (in a basic sense) is sorting stuff out for my cat, working from home, scrolling on my phone and sleeping. I don’t even get ready properly a lot of the time, often having to force myself to brush my teeth after a day or 2.

Occasionally, I’ll see a friend or my family, but it never feels fulfilling. I’ll think about going to hobby classes or groups but I don’t feel truly motivated to because I know I won’t feel anything much from it.

People at work ask me if I’m going on holiday this year, and I make up some reason why I’m not, because it’d be a waste of money for me to go on holiday. The last holiday I went on with anhedonia was mildly enjoyable at times (in a cognitive sense), but I didn’t get enough out of it to warrant spending that kinda money.

I’m coming up to my mid-30s and am concerned that I’m not living much of a life. I can’t consider things like dating, children etc. for multiple reasons, but one of which is that I don’t feel attraction and wouldn’t feel fulfilment out of either of those things.

Anyone else?

Hi please I have tried EMSAM and didn’t give it a fair shot, have tried almost everything else besides other MAIO’s.

I have heard other MAOI’s are better? Please share if you have any suggestions or experience.

I am currently taking adderal (helps add) lamictal (not helping).

Please and thank you, I am with dr of course and will appreciate feedback. Have dr appt tomorrow. Tia

i had a sudden feeling of like my head is empty and feeling like im unreal im terrified should i vape or drink alchohol or have something to do is that anhedonia

And has anybody figured out how to gain either of these back?

As the title says, whenever I tried antioxidants or mitochondria supplements bc the theory of having broke and damage mitochondria and inflammation in the symptoms of anhedonia I always gets MORE anhedonia and crashes with insomnia and other issues. Anyone noticed this? Especially from coq10 and c vitamins

Unfortunately I have to say that both agmatine and sarcosine suck donkey ass.

For NMDA antagonists, I completely forgot that lamotrigine (which is somehow adjacent beacuse of the decrease in glutamate) made half of my face droop in 2023, I only remembered that it made me weak so it was a lightbulb moment the day I took agmatine and I started feeling that its so much harder to keep the right side of my mouth closed, as someone who had a father with ALS I'm not gonna mess around with that shit anymore. Fortunately, the symptoms stopped pretty quickly.

And as for sarcosine - it made me slightly more energetic but energy is not really a problem for me anymore, in terms of anhedonia it did nothing. Unfortunately it gave me anxiety, especially when coupled with NAC, but the effects seemed to build up and I had to decrease the sarcosine dose a lot but the anxiety and ruminations always came back after a few days so I stopped taking it. Not the worst thing I've taken by far, but didn't really do anything good for me.

Next up is aticaprant - inspired by u/Turbulent-Place-6723 who seems to have vanished off the face of the Earth, I've spent a good chunk of money on buying it from seller that really, really wants me to get addicted to the free sample of some heinous research chemical that came with all of my purchases there so far. But besides that they're legit lol. While I know the most recent studies weren't optimistic, kappa opioid receptors are one of the few things I haven't poked yet and I'm finally stable enough again to withstand some shitty side effects without completely losing my mind. Wish me luck!

I (44f) have been emotionally flatline for as long as I can remember. While I can intellectually identify which environmental conditions should create each feeling in order to answer the question "how are you feeling?", I have never actually felt any physical sensation in response to emotional stimulus unless it was an extreme event like losing a loved one or melting down from a panic attack. If I had to describe what I typically feel based on bodily sensation, it would be a daily general numbness, with a static undercurrent of exhaustion, anxiety, and muscle aches. If I feel anything else, it's so muted as to be virtually undetectable physically. I've described it as being like a ghost haunting my own body because I am aware of what's happening, but I'm disconnected from the sensation.

I swear to you that until a few years ago, I truly believed that everyone was like this, and that they were faking dramatic emotional responses due to peer pressure, social expectations, or just to get attention. Then I stumbled upon the definition for Anhedonia and was like, "Oh. Well damn. This seems unfair". Lol

So a couple of months ago I talked to my psychiatrist about Anhedonia specifically, and she changed my meds from Wellbutrin alone to Wellbutrin with Dextromethorphan (Auvelity). The first week didn't bring any changes, but then I went to the full dose, taking the second pill at night.

The 3 days that followed were the best days of my life! I felt what I can confidently claim was "happiness"! I was singing, engaging in hobbies, smiling, cooking, making plans, being an active conversation partner with my friends and loved ones. I was waking up in the morning with some energy, throwing open the curtains to let in the daylight, feeling excited about possibilities, and not noticing any of my chronic muscle pain issues. This was it! This is the thing other people get to have! And I could feel all of it in my body, clear as day, unmistakable.

Now, I have friends who struggle with occasional manic episodes. I know what it looks like, and I know that people in a manic state often feel like nothing is wrong and this is how they "really are". That situation terrifies me, so any time I change meds, I notify the people closest to me to look out for the mania red flags. According to them, I didn't have any personality changes or impulsive risk taking or spending issues, or delusions of any time. I was just more "present, engaging, and active". They saw nothing concerning. So I was freaking thrilled!

3 days later, it was almost all gone. By a week later, I was back to flatline. I told my psychiatrist about it and she said that maybe lowering my dose back down to one pill a day would help bring the bliss back, but alas, it did not.

So...what now?

Psychiatrist says changing again to trintellix or rexulti might help. I'll try anything, but I have already been through a ton of meds, so I'm worried that I am getting close to the end of the list. What if they don't get me back to the bliss?

I'm currently on Lisdexamphetamine, Desvenlafaxine, Auvelity, and low dose ketamine troches. They are all doing stuff for GAD, AuDHD, and MDD, but not Anhedonia. The ketamine makes me feel my body while I am on it, but it's not something I can keep in my system all day. I'd be too goofed-up to function.

So what are people in my situation usually doing? I already do all the somatic work, therapy, diet, vitamins, minerals, probiotics, electrolytes, amino acids, and all the exercise and yoga I can. What am I missing?

Thanks in advance for ideas! *Edit: For anyone curious about what the "happy" sense of wellbeing feels like in terms of body sensation, I can say it's like having a TENS/EMS unit attached to the skin over the major muscles of your arms, legs, back, neck, and scalp and turned on a low tingly massage setting that's kind of like a tickle but pleasant.

I staring to think this is bad even tho it’s like a relief idk it was all anger for a couple of days for no new reason than everything just went away except the heavy chest weight but I really can’t feel anything idk

V hlavě prázdno. ..Absence myšlenek. Nic mě nepřitahuje ani nebavi. Nevim uz ani kdo jsem. Nevim co me doopravdy bavi a co chci doopravdy delat. Mam pocit jako by mi ovlivnovala identitu. Kdybych dostal ted 100 000 000kč na ruku tak bych to prozival stejne jako kdybych dostal 20 kč.