Does experiencing DPDR mean you’re hallucinating? And can you experience DPDR while still being fully aware of yourself and knowing you exist and are “ real “ but the emotional/ psychological aspect of it is disconnected?
Can you still have anticipatory and consummatory anhedonia ( especially consummatory ) while still being able to feel negative emotions like worry, discomfort, frustration, anger, etc… ?
What’s it called when just passive existence is very uncomfortable and sometimes painful? And are there ways to really address this when it’s constantly happening wherever you are?
It’s very alienating :(
Should i bother going to a psychiatrist or will they be unable to assist me and the only option is to wait passively while the brain repairs itself at an excruciatingly slow pace?
I’ve been off the atypical antipsychotic for almost 8 weeks
Background & Timeline:
Medication: Rexulti (brexpiprazole).
During Treatment: Developed profound consummatory anhedonia while actively taking the medication. My reward system felt completely capped and suppressed. ( Started it in late January up until May 2026
( Started at 0.5mg then 1mg then 1.5mg and finally at 2mg , with each dose being given a month and so apart before titration )
Current Status: Entirely off the medication for nearly 8 weeks. ( Tapered down to 1mg for three days , 29th,30th and 31st of May then stopped taking it completely )
My Current Symptoms:
Severe Consummatory Anhedonia: Absolute failure to feel in-the-moment pleasure from any physical or mental stimuli (food, entertainment, hobbies).
Anticipatory Anhedonia: Complete lack of motivation or forward-looking excitement, reinforced by the fact that pushing through tasks yields zero reward.
Systemic Physical Dysphoria: I constantly feel like I am in a never-ending state of early, severe flu onset. My body feels heavy, ungrounded, and chemically starved.
Loss of Identity: A profound sense of apathic flattening where my personality and human texture feel completely stripped away.
What I am experiencing right now:
Traditional behavioral activation and cognitive tricks fail because this is a severe, structural receptor issue, not a bad mood. I am trapped in a state of chemical dysphoria where no physical posture, environment, or rest provides actual "comfort."
Has anyone else experienced this specific flu-like, identity-stripping withdrawal after a dopamine partial agonist? How long did it take for your baseline hedonic tone and receptor sensitivity to start creeping back?
I feel like this drug literally took away my positive emotions ( Pleasure, contentment , joy, eager anticipation, , etc… )
I was prescribed 0.5mg Rexulti off-label for OCD in late January alongside a reduction in my Zoloft dose that i was on for 2 years ( 150mg ) , a month and so went by, saw my doc and was told to increase the Rexulti dose to 1mg, another month went by and saw them again and was told to increase it to 1.5mg while also further decreasing the Zoloft dose to 100mg then on the 6th of May, they told me to increase the Rexulti dose to 2mg.
Words cannot express the hell i went through these couple of months: intense inner restlessness, panic, anxiety,literally feeling like my existence itself is torture and no matter what i did to distract myself, i wasn’t able to enjoy anything AT ALL and that in itself caused me immense dread everyday, even sleep seemed scary and didn’t come naturally ( like i had to actively make myself sleep by forcing my eyes shut for hours )
Then on the 28th of May, i took my last 2mg Rexulti dose, then for the next three days ( 29th, 30th and 31st ) i took 1mg with the 31st being my last day i ever took Rexulti ( i just stopped Rexulti as not even my ocd improved while on Rexulti )
I’ve been off Rexulti completely for 6 weeks ( or close to 6 weeks ) and i still haven’t recovered and i’m really scared of continuing living like this for months.
I also increased my Zoloft dose to 150mg ( felt like i was more stable on it than 100mg ) on the 3rd of June.
Everyday is struggle, i have this constant background anxiety/dread that keeps me “ on edge “ , the activities i know logically would bring me joy don’t anymore, i feel like there is a disconnect between my psychological state and my physical state, everything feels effortfully heavy and taxing.
I’ve been suffering from this profound anhedonia for months without a glimmer of hope, like the mere thought of existence is painful ( i don’t know how to explain this )
I thought stopping Rexulti would solve this but. I’m still not sure or feeling better
On and i was also prescribed Strattera ( Atomoextine ) 40mg ( off label ) for concentration and mood and i’m on week 7 of being on it but i don’t know if it’s helping, not helping or causing me more anxiety)
What’s the difference between those and how to know which one i have?