r/askapsychologist

I am wanting to find a psychologist to work with. I have CPTSD and have suffered from undiagnosed narcolepsy 2 for most of my life. I am now on wakefulness meds and realizing how much of my life has been a survival strategy, and I need help. I have been to psychologists before with mixed results. Talk therapy has been very difficult and mostly unhelpful, especially when/if I feel my psychologist becomes disconnected or, worse; has me do all of the talking. I need guidance and support. I need someone who can recognize smaller traumas or notice that place before I go too far, and apply some “threshold work,” because when I have “an episode“ it ruins my ability to function for days. Not saying that it won’t happen, even with an experienced therapist, once in a while, but I need to avoid this as much as possible. Anyway, is there a specific kind of psychologist I need to be looking for? And thank you so much in advance.

Campfire freak, need to keep it lit and I don’t like when other people mess with it

Paranoid as hell

Can’t handle seeing people being fake happy in commercials for big corporations

Can’t stand being advertised to or seeing any sort of thing advertised to ‘help’ if it costs money because if its costs money it’s not for ‘help’ it’s for profit

Horrible short term memory but fantastic long term, remembers seemingly unimportant things from years ago but will completely blank out in the middle of a sentence and forget everything in a second for no reason and will have to ask the person I’m talking to wtf we were talking about

Either entirely un-empathetic or obsessively empathetic and will have to do something to remedy someone’s situation or I’ll be in a horrible mood until that situation is fixed

Thinks everyone hates me even after good interactions and will replay that interaction in my head constantly for days and days and days and figure out every single thing I could’ve said differently and rehearse things to say next time

Over-explains even to strangers for no reason because the idea of someone having the wrong idea about my feelings or intentions makes me feel sick

Needs to be needed but absolutely hates being needed and won’t feel relieved until I’m not needed anymore—which is why I will not own a dog or have children

When I make friends I always want to get them ALL together in one place even if those people probably won’t actually get along together, when that happens I get frustrated when they won’t all get along

Gets really attached to people quickly but then will suddenly need to distance

Inherent need to shock my family because it’s funny and entertaining to me

Wants lots of attention but only in the exact moments I want it and if I still have it when I don’t want it I need to leave or get angry

Explosive emotions even happy ones, like sounding angry when just talking about something passionately, then when people tell me to calm down I don’t understand why and it makes me angry then

Cannot stand being told what to do in any way unless it’s at a job, if it’s a job I will obsessively try to do things correctly and be problematically honest about my mistakes, to the point that it annoys my supervisors

Have been starting to hear auditory hallucinations and occasionally visual ones but only for a second, mostly auditory

I am incredibly funny and very proud of that because I use comedy for everything

Constantly disassociating and staring into space and when I have to stop doing it it feels like a workout and tires me out until I can start doing it again

Can just sit and stare for an incredibly long time and be completely fine. Need to do it often

Constant need to either be sleeping or sunbathing, there is no time where I want to be doing anything other than those two things

Really enjoy being around tons of people, I like company a lot, until I don’t

Chronic pain genuinely everywhere

Avoids eye contact but when I do it’s incredibly intense

Can’t form actual sentences anymore, and if I do i usually forget what I’m saying halfway through and have to stand there and stare and think and snap my fingers to get myself to remember what’s happening, makes conversations with people very awkward

Need at least two stimuli always, activity and a show and possibly people around talking. I can’t eat without something to watch

Feel incredibly angry/frustrated when people don’t care about the things I care about

Super insanely observant with facial expressions and tone in people’s voices and will tell myself i know exactly what people are actually thinking vs what they’re saying

Quitter—I hate not being good at something right away

desperate need to be in nature

Always want to do self destructive activities for thrill and don’t care about physical consequences, feels cathartic to get hurt

Obsessed with animals—reptiles mostly

Hate my body so much but have just accepted it and t stopped caring

Constantly thinking about how I must look physically to other people—imagining myself in their position through their eyes the entire time I’m interacting with anyone which exhausts me and hinders conversation

Can’t have just one thought, it’s millions at once and can’t finish a sentence before trying to start a new one

Can’t describe things well, often uses my hands to make shapes or use descriptive words instead of the name of the thing because I can’t remember. Cannot catch up with my own brain. Thoughts and words do not line up ever. Constantly ask ‘yknow what I mean???’ to people in hopes they just understand me without me having to speak.

I love my fiance but often feel like I’m a horrible partner because I’m not affectionate, feel like a bad person constantly

I ask permission from my fiance for nearly everything even though I have no reason to

Substance abuse issues my entire life

Love to drive, need to drive

Obsessive need to be open about things I like even though most of the things I like are odd or cringe. (Fursuits, shocking games, weird stuff) then gets upset if people don’t react the way I want them to

Can’t tell when I’m being rude or embarrassing my fiance in some way

I don’t know why I’m writing this all down honestly

Constantly thinking about my own mental issues but never do anything about them or do anything to help myself

Angered by religion

Jaded to most things, pessimistic

Need to regress but won’t because it makes me feel like I’m a creep

Hi I’m currently studying psychology and I’ve met a person in the past I thought was faking the BPD. However I always kept my mind open and was trying to understand different possible viewpoints. I was wondering if anyone here has met someone faking BPD and been able to tell if they’re faking it? I’m so curious on the warning signs and alarms as it is sadly a disorder common to be used cosmetically. I never took the time to explore warnings signs in behaviour as I was too focused on keeping a friendship positive and that’s where my curiosity has come from. It’s hard to find study’s and articles online about this question.

I also understand each persons emotional struggles are real regardless if it is one thing or another. Im just curious on warning signs of people misusing the BPD label.

I'm def ok with humor or humour broadly, people being silly and so on. But why do people continuously produce jokes? I don't understand the purpose of it.

And worst of all: the same type of joke that humanity as a whole seems to endlessly repeat. I don't find it funny.

I have humor, but not in the form of just randomly making jokes.

When someone makes a joke, that signals to me

• "Look how smart I am for coming up with this pun"
• "Look how funny I am"
• etc

And then I just don't find it funny at all.

I'm 20, male, in therapy (haven't told my therapist about this yet — more on why below), and I've been dealing with a pattern that's making my life genuinely miserable. I want to understand what's actually happening psychologically before I bring it to my therapist.

The core pattern:

I get pulled into consuming content that causes me real distress feminist content, content about narcissism, content that's bigoted toward my religion and I cannot stop, even when it's actively hurting me. The topic shifts, but the structure of the spiral stays identical every time. That consistency makes me think the specific topic isn't really the issue.

How it works with feminist content specifically:

I want to be clear: I'm not hurt by feminism. I understand the real damages of patriarchy and I believe in it. But when I watch certain feminist content particularly content that says things like "all men are the same" or frames all men as inherently dangerous something specific happens internally that I can't seem to interrupt.

I can't defend myself in my own mind. If I even internally think "but that's not true of me" or "that's an overgeneralization," my mind immediately reframes that as proof that I am a misogynist because apparently only a misogynist would push back. So I'm left unable to disagree, even privately, with statements I intellectually know are generalizations.

If I feel hurt by the content, I watch more of it, because feeling hurt feels like evidence that I'm guilty and if I'm guilty, I deserve the pain. So the hurt becomes self-punishment rather than a signal to stop.

I restructure my internal life around the creators I watch. I've started living as if they're watching me, judging my smallest choices, even when I'm completely alone. I've liked posts that hurt me just to satisfy an imagined internal version of the creator.

How it works with narcissism content:

I've become convinced I'm a narcissist. I watch content about narcissism compulsively and find every trait in myself. The result is that I'm completely unable to be a victim in any situation. If someone genuinely harms me, I immediately find a way to make myself the culprit — because if I'm a narcissist, my pain is manipulation, not real pain. So I can't defend myself or acknowledge being hurt in any real-life situation.

How it works with content about my religion: I'll find myself watching genuinely bigoted, racist content about my religion. I don't refute it internally. I get hurt by it, but I don't stop watching. I shatter myself watching it but can't step away.

Why I haven't told my therapist:

This is the part that feels most stuck. I'm afraid that if I tell her about these spirals, the act of describing them will itself become evidence that I'm a sophisticated, manipulative misogynist that I've engineered this whole thing to look like a mental health issue when really I'm just a bad person who knows how to present himself as a victim. Even writing this post right now, I feel like I'm being manipulative by trying to get sympathy. The shame is total.

What this has done to my life:

I've spent whole days watching distressing content, unable to stop. I feel I deserve to be publicly humiliated and thrashed. I feel something is inherently wrong with me for being a boy. I am in continuous internal judgment of my own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. I feel deeply alone and deeply ashamed. It has made my life hell. I was so having so many sucidal thoughts due to this the feeling that i am such a bad person is killing me everyday and i cant even ask for reassurance or help ,i am not able to soothe myself.

Sometimes when Im really angry, especially after a fight with my little brother, or parents.

When im REALLY, REALLY mad, i start instantly thinking of all the ways they could feel pain. the knife in my back pocket, my bare hands, I dont even like blood. I dont know whats wrrong wkth me

please

This question isnt about me or an ask for help but I'm myself the anecdore, anecdote which inspured this question. For example

• as a kid and teenager I was shy and introverted and awkward, now I make a lot of friends and can talk in front of big groups of people with a microphone.
• as a teen I was extremely obsessed with sports. Now I'm rather lazy and a couch person.
• as a kid I loved reading books. Now I totally dont wanna be reading books or any form of long texts walls.
• my favorite color changed (but ok maybe thats normal)
• for years I worked hard and wanted to do somrthing big and meaningful for the world. I did 2 volumteer jobs too at the same time next to college. Now I'm rather burnt out and lazy and selfish.
• I wanted to travel the world. Now, I much rather stay close to home.
• growing up I was extremely frugal and would not even spend a cent! Not even €0,01! Now I spend quite some money quickly and easily.(although big sownding still hurts and feels painful. Spending)
• I hated physics in highschool except for the last year of highschool on to now I suddenly love it. It went from rqndom stupid subject to my favorite subject. Random
• and in the past I was a co tinuoua s jokesmachine. Now, Ive grown much more serious and get silently annoyed or disappointed when people constantly make jokes

So does a word for this exist officially and why do people "change polarity" like this? When does and when doesnt it happen?

What does the phenomenon usually say about a person that has it so much.

TW: Mention of a suicide attempt. No gore/details/bodily fluids mentioned.

Hi friends, hope all is well! I’ll preface by saying that that day had been building for months and it happened very very quickly. One minute I’m taking a shot of Moonshine (even tho I had been sober since 2018) and the next I’m waking up in the ER being told I hung myself and was airlifted to a trauma center two hours away. I don’t remember any of it. I literally remember taking a few shots then texting someone then pulling back my covers to take a nap. I wasn’t even aware what happened. I had called 911 to let them know so that my parents wouldnt find me and was clinically “gone” for about 8 mins according to the paramedics and deputies who worked on me.

I spent a week in the trauma center then another week in the psych ward and was released to my parents home where I’m currently staying. Unfortunately, the day after I got home I found out my 10 year old fur baby had a tumor on her spleen (following a bad seizure) that was causing internal bleeding. They said surgery would be expensive and couldn’t guarantee a good quality of life even if she had it. Unfortunately, I made the horrible decision to put her down as I wanted her to go painlessly and with dignity with me right by her side the entire time. I was the last thing she saw as I petted her, told her I loved her, and thanked her for her companionship over the years. It broke me even more than I was already broken.

I am doing outpatient treatment weekly and have kept all my appointments, but I feel like I’m in this weird liminal transitional space and not sure how to move forward. I know, when I return home, Maggie’s death will really hit me. I’m also afraid that I might regain memories from “that day” as I’ll be back in that environment. I’ve talked to my therapist and have decided to stay with my folks for another month as I’m still pretty early in my recovery phase (still less than one month out).

They did remove two meds and add a few, but it’s hard to tell whether things are working until a month has passed (in my experience). I’m no longer suicidal, but I still feel like an incredible burden to those around me. For context, I’m a recovering addict/alcoholic who had been clean/sober since 2018 (except for 6/2 right before my attempt) so I’ve caused a TON of irreparable damage & heartache over the years. I had convinced myself that I was doing it for them. I told myself they would grieve for a year then move on and finally have a happy life without me there to screw stuff up. I know, in a healthy state, thats not true, but a suicidal mind is a sick mind so it’s hard to be convinced of the truth when you’ve spent so long believing the lies.

I’m also a very spiritual (non-religious) person and another thing that has really been on my mind is that I didn’t experience anything. No white light, no guiding voice, no meeting relatives, etc. It was just nothingness. So now I’m kinda reevaluating my spirituality which I don’t even have the mental capacity to do right now lol. So I’ve put that on the back burner for a bit 😂

I guess my main question is…aside from outpatient therapy what are some things I could/should be doing to get past this “hump”? I just feel stuck and I know I’ll have to go home at some point, but I just don’t know that I’m ready yet. I’ve tried to journal and I’ve tried a few different hobbies, but it’s just hard to focus and I tend to get restless…possibly side effects of the meds maybe? I’m not sure if I’m allowed to disclose my new meds here, but if so I’ll be happy to provide that in the comments if needed 😊 I hope you all have an amazingly wonderful rest of your day/night!!

For context, I am a woman in early 30s, diagnosed with CPTSD and OCD.

Whenever I look in the mirror while I'm topless (which I don't do often), it's like my brain experiences this huge surprise/shock to see my breasts on my chest. I feel quite uncomfortable while looking at myself in the mirror naked, but also while wearing a T-shirt and seeing myself from the side, with my curves visible. However, I don't think I'm trans, as I don't hate the idea of being a woman and it doesn't cause me distress, I just don't like having breasts.

I wonder if this could be a symptom of CPTSD. For possibly useful context, throughout my whole life, my father made frequent comments on womens' (and even young - 11-12yo - girls') bodies and showed some other predatory behaviours, too, including ones targeting me. I learned to hide my body, especially once I hit puberty. I still dress and present in a very "manly" way, but this thing with my breasts just baffles me. What is it? Some sort of trauma-induced body dysmorphia or dissociation (I do have dissociative symptoms in other areas of life)? Or what else could it be? I feel like my breasts don't belong to me. Is there a way to "connect" to this part of my body and accept it as mine?

I got circumcised 5 years ago and I did not need to,I was self conscious at the time and my frenulum was a little tight when fully erect so I was scared it could potentially rip when having sex but at the time I didn’t know I could just do a frenuloplasty and I figured if I just do it and get it out the way it will be better long term. Fast forward 5 years I recently started heavily regretting my circumcision starting in February after I went down the Reddit rabbit hole and seeing that alot of people on the internet actually advise against it and say you should not do it unless you have to or it should be a last resort thing to do. I recently started going to therapy because of this and I find myself stuck in this loop of “why did you do this” or “you didn’t have to do this”. Although I am a virgin and haven’t had any sexual experience at all I’m worried my sex experience isn’t going to be as good as it could be with foreskin because I see people that get circ later in life saying sex isn’t what it used to be or it feels like 30 percent of what it used to be with foreskin.

I am also an indo carribean born in America and my culture and people usually don’t do that and I’m just kind of bummed that it feels like I’m not like everyone else in my culture and recently finding out that most of the world is not circumcised makes the regret worse.I got it done at 17 I’m 22 now and it seems like my brain has started to wire up and make better decisions at around 20 if I would not have done it and just waited till now I would definitely make a more logical and well thought out decision with way more research and I most likely wouldn’t have cared and realized girls actually don’t care if you have foreskin but yeah idk it just feels like I didn’t really gain anything I only lost I have some scarring now and less pleasure I don’t think I am botched at all the doc did a good job but it just sucks that my sex life has been potentially reduced for no reason.

I just can’t come to terms that this is how it’s gonna be for the rest and there’s nothing I can do about it to change it I don’t really want to restore because that takes too much time and I feel like it will come out weird. Everything in my life recently has just come to a halt and a pause my goals and everything I had planned for the future just stopped or I just can’t see into the future anymore I don’t know what to do or how to go about my life now because it doesn’t matter how hard I work or how much money I make I will never be able to get that part of me back I will always feel incomplete I’m genuinely just stuck in life right now and don’t know what to do.

My biggest issue in my life is the fact my social battery just dissapears in 10 minutes. I imagine a hangout being very fun and enjoying until i go to the hangout just to realize i have to interact with the ppl and talk to them. I like their presence, but i dont like talking to them for long, my voice just dissapears and no word comes out. Whats worse is the fact im so selfaware that i start fidgeting very weirdly.

To prevent this, i choose one person at every event to stick to and make that person do all the talking and be my company for the day, i become their child basically. And for some reason, to those ppl i can geniunely talk to without losing my wanting to talk? basically this happened even with nuru (childhood long distance friend), i didnt enjoy the hangout much until we went to draw and stopped talking. i think this is a huge issue preventing me from enjoying basically anything. its like i want them with me, i want their company but i dont want them to be aware that im real.

I also get very paranoid and feel like everyone is staring at me and they have something against me? it makes me so uncomfortable and i start zoning out and cant focuse on anything but that.

So my concern is wether the therapist could be helpfull or not, because i see myself gaslighting to ‘oh that was fun’ when it rlly wasnt and i realise it only way later. So i feel like id be lying to my therapist. also this issue rlly needs to resolve, my parents are worrying so much nd breathing near my nose (more cus they think im getting worse again and dont want me having an attempt again).

im already doing my best by smiling at ppl awkwardly when no smile ever would come out. Im already doing my best, they think im being rude and moody when i geniunely am not, its the way i function i cant control it. I cant even answer a cashier properly, they think im foreign lmao. Im also extremely bad at eyecontact which makes every interaction even more awkward.

But do you really think therapy would help me if it rlly makes me extremely anxious and i cant rlly tell the full story about my bad experiences with my parents?

Speaking of my parents, the only reason i was allowed for therapy 1 time, was because i attempted so it was obligatory by the hospital. If i do ask for therapy they might start asking questions and get really worried that im getting worse, so thats another issue that needs to be solved especially if i choose a psychiatrist, so what exactly do i tell them?

To clarify, i have not always exactly been like this, i as a child used to be protected against social standards so i didnt really HAVE to communicate because of my parents, i just used to stand by them every event (which i also hated) and it didnt make me as anxious (except when she was introducing me to some mothers) so the day just ended up being boring and not THAT exhausting.

i personally believe therapy would be useless to me, because i understand people and myself a lot, and i can regulate it now to the point it doesnt lead me to scd again, by regulating its mostly avoiding events and still socially interacting with my cousins (i can be weird around them haha) so that im not completely isolated. But i fear i dont have any mental complications and its my nature (well atleast thats what i think) so im not sure if a psychologist would have anything to diagnose me with if that makes sense.

And btw im not thinking about this stuff 24/7 i just like to reflect my problems so that i can keep going and not think “my life is so good why am i making ts up”., so its not like this is also an extra issue. Also i feel like im very self aware and i do believe nothing is wrong with me, but i rlly cant control this, and i feel like im wasting my life like this. Im very aware of my issues and theyre not rlly up to me, so would a therapist help or a psychiatrist? maybe none?

Had a session with a psychologist. She made me draw a person, a boy, as well as a boy and a girl with a house. I drew myself, a random boy figure (no person in mind), and a simple house with a boy and a girl and an apple tree. She asked me why I drew them, I told her the truth that it just popped up, I don’t have any people I associate with them other than myself and a “future partner” (for the family thing). In my next appointment, she said I was filled with in denial and insecurity based on the drawings. I don’t understand, how?? And why is there even a need to draw in the first place? Can’t all that data be shown from just talking?

Hello.

I was diagnosed with DID using SCID-D more than a year ago. I am in my late 30s and work full time (although I was found unfit by Occ. Health in my last role and managed to pivot to another role as I am the sole earner for our family)

I have been seeing a private psychologist who is experienced with dissociative disorders and over the last 12 months I have stabilised significantly. I was very unwell before diagnosis and after. I am finally now, after 16 months beginning to accept I do have this.

My psychologist keep mentioning that when I have flashbacks and trauma, its not actually happening and I am safe.

However even if I remember that, its all so sad? Like so so sad? To see myself being abused whilst so vulnerable, so many times. To see myself frozen and hurt. I know I cant change anything. I know it happened. I just think its so fucking sad and then that makes me feel so sad that this was my life. That nobody protected me when they should have. That many old men abused me when I was very unwell and vulnerable.

How I managed to recover when I was younger was to focus on all the positives and good things, and ignore the bad as I felt like it was everywhere. I feel like I put horse blinkers on to be able to move forward with my life. It worked for a long time until I experienced a very traumatic event a few years ago which made me poorly and was eventually diagnosed with DID.

But I cant wear those blinkers now? I see all the awfulness of humanity again. I cant force it to be hidden

How do I come to terms with multiple traumas (both pre verbal, as a toddler, teenager and young adult) when its all so sad and depressing?

Paranoia about being recorded and posted online, being exposed, fear that cat was replaced at pet hospital, fear of being watched and brain fog? What are these a symptom of?

Sooo basically, I was talking to my girlfriend today, and I pitched the idea of kidnapping. Not anything serious, just like, 'have you ever thought about kidnapping someone, and how you would do it?' She seemed kind of unsettled, as were most of my friends that I asked. When I went into detail, she tried to say it in a joking manner, but she seemed kind of uncomfortable. She told me that it sounded like an early sign of 'something,' but I doubt it’s that serious. I genuinely don’t get why it’s such a bad thing?? Like, yes, I have thought about how I would hypothetically kidnap someone. Someone I’ve stalked (this is also hypothetical, I’ve NEVER stalked anyone), a friend, someone random. I’ve thought about what method I’d use to initially knock them out, or keep them quiet and from resisting, chemicals that might help with that. I’ve thought about transport and ways to be inconspicuous about keeping an entire person in my house or a certain location, how I might not get caught. But it’s not like I’d ever actually do it, so I don’t see the problem?? Is this normal, or should I seek help?? Cuz now I just feel like a freaking edge lord, unless everyone I know is just overreacting. Because even my mother suggested I speak with someone, but again, I don’t think it’s that serious at all.

It’s really hard for me to deal with losing my romantic partner of 37 years. There are a number of other issues that make it even more difficult. I’m just trying not to carry this all with me by myself.

Following the Supreme Court ruling allowing same-sex marriage, Martin, my partner, and I decided to get legally hitched, and we did so in our own home. My husband lived another 10 1/2 years, despite having leukemia, which he survived relatively medically uncomplicated for nearly 2 decades.

My family and friends say that I should try not to be so sad. They mention he lived a very full life, which he did, making it to the age of 95. They tell me to concentrate on his longevity, not his passing. I understand that while the end is always all-consuming, it does not define the relationship. I know my loved ones are trying hard to help, but how can I celebrate when I feel so emotionally dead? If I am not sad and grieving, I usually feel nothing at all.

I am seeking to share my experience of loving an absolutely beautiful human being for so many happy, many wonderful years. I am much younger than Martin was, and if I possessed any more love to give, it is conceivable I am not too old to marry again. However, that is far from an imaginable reality for me.

Very recently, I began considering, then preparing to begin to date. It has been just under 3 months since I lost my Martin. It isn’t loneliness that I desire to do this; rather, I seek a desperate distraction from my inconsolable state of unhappiness.

As I realized my dysfunctional dynamic of why I desire to date, I thought, “My God, how unhealthy, how unfair this would be to do to another person.” I cannot knowingly hurt anyone. I am just not in a state of mind to put myself out there. Therefore, I won’t be able to date at this time. I am alone in trying to survive.

Hello,

I'm 28 M and I never had a relationship, I've had sex before but not a relationship.

I take medication ever since my first psychosis which I had at 19 - Riseperidone and Depakine.

I've been off medication a couple of times but had to get back on it due tue psychotic episodes.

The problem with my psychosis is that it only starts on subjects involving women and relationships meaning that If I fall in love or I think I fall in love or get any Idea of loving another person (which happened quite often in the past) I start spirialing.

I was always the loner type and the first time a girl hit on me romantically was in high school which triggered my first psychotic episode including auditory and visual hallucinations.

Ever since then going through each episode has gone easier however I tend to become closed of in my love life which is non-existent due to this reason.

All of my psychotic episodes in my life which were a couple like 5 or 6 involved falling for someone then spiraling.

I refuse to live my life like a hermit. I want to get married one day.

Could you please share some advice?

should I start going back to therapy for this?

Last psychotic episode I had was in 2024.

Thanks.