my mom hasn’t healed from her trauma and sometimes acts like a child than a mother. could she still love me even though age hasn’t dealt with her own. demons. my grandma came to the us to work and my mom helped raise and care for her siblings
I suffered repeated sexual abuse beginning at age six, followed by a drugged assault at thirteen by trusted authority figures that left me with amnesia for much of the event. I kept all of it completely secret from everyone and carried it entirely suppressed and unprocessed for decades. Is it clinically documented that someone with this history would likely develop symptoms including dissociation, toxic shame, emotional flashbacks, physical freeze responses, loss of emotional access to people they loved, a commanding internal voice overriding their own will, and an uncontrollable pattern of abruptly withdrawing and ghosting from close relationships — all experienced neurologically rather than as conscious choice?
I am now in treatment and carry tremendous guilt about the people I withdrew from, particularly someone I loved deeply. Any clinical perspective would be meaningful to my healing.
Thank you.
I have never made a reddit account before this one so i apologize in advance if i break rules.
For starters, im 19y/o and diagnosed with depression anxiety ptsd adhd and anorexia i just wanna know if anyone else with these diagnoses can relate to me or if i should seek a professional once more, because i feel quiet confused and alone. I had an attempt 2 summers ago and i feel since then things have been getting worse and worse. my therapist suggested that i find someone else about 1 year ago because she said she didnt know how she could help me and i havent had a therapist since. However the past 15 days or so ive been taking notes about my days and emotions. but everytime i read them back its like i dont even remember writing any of it. even writing this is making me extremely nervous.
I think i hallucinated within the past month (part of the reason im writing this post), Which ive never had before or at least i think they were im not sure if im making it up or not. im gonna copy word for word what i wrote down in my notes from that night so i apologize for spelling mistakes, "saw a face which seemed to be inbedded in the fabric of my curtains but i couldnt tell if it was real or not so oi jhust sat there trying to be as still as possible so it wouldnt see me and so i could observe to see if it was a threat or not, made me breath extremely heavily and fast and i didnt mmove a thing except for my pupils to look around subtly" and around 30 minutes later, "something bresthing behind me in bed, im trying hardest to just bresth hesvy and loud so im louder than its bresth cause i k ow deep down its not resl but udually only after and it takes me s lot of strength to not go completely silent in fear because of whatever is there." Ive been thinking abt that since its happened and it makes me scared even thinking back and remembering that happening and seeing and hearing that stuff.
Sometimes i crawl underneath windows if they are left uncovered because im scared ppl are outside watching me. sometimes i feel like a completely different person than the last day with like different opinions or feelings than yesterday that make me wish i could take back what i said cause its not at all what i think anymore, and not in a way where i said something mean and regret it, i mean talking abt basic things like opinions and interests. I'll do something nice to/for someone or for myself just because i wanted to, but i notice around 1 second AFTER i do that thing i get thoughts about that i was just doing that thing to manipulate people subconsciously somehow. Its extremely distressing because the thoughts are completely unwanted and sometimes i do end up giving into it and become extremely self hating and isolate myself from everyone because i dont wanna do that to anyone on accident. I also have a very constant looming guilt as though ive murdered someone, and ive had this feeling since i was about 12 (i cant remember almost anything before that age anyway). Anytime i go outside it feels like everyone is either staring at me cause im weird or talking about me to whoever they are with and if i tell this to someone they always tell me that random people arent looking or talking about me even though i can literally see everyone staring at me. Ive also feel like people can read my mind sometimes which has happened since i was younger and i kinda believe it, i sometimes try and talk to people through mind reading without telling them out loud to try and "catch" them.
I wanna know if this is normal for the diagnoses i have or if i should try getting a therapist/psychiatrist again (i havent been on any medication for about a year now)
What ai tools do you use in your practice if any? As ai ramps up, what are ya'll's thoughts on ai in the mental health sphere?
Edit: I am mostly asking about organizational tools in terms of HIPAA, however if you have HEARD of someone using ai as a therapy tool with their client, or have clients that use it as a supplement for or with therapy, that is definitely something I'd like to hear more about - yes, of course it is incredibly controversial, and I would be extremely surprised if it was being used in that way in a reputable practice
I was seriously looking into whether it was still possible to do my homework cheap and still get something down the page for sure it was really worth filing. Every time I imagine I’ve determined the suitable option, the payment jumps the moment I plug in my actual closing date and interests, or estimates look suspiciously curated after you dig past the primary page. Finding it hard to distinguish legitimate opportunities from those of taking your cash and disappearing.
The situation is pretty typical I think - more assignments than hours in the week, a job that doesn't care about my academic calendar, and a budget that runs out faster than my to-do list does. It's not like I'm trying to get out of doing anything ever again, I just need a reliable pressure valve for the weeks where everything piles up at once and something has to give. Homework across multiple subjects at the same time is a specific kind of overwhelming that I don't think people outside of it fully appreciate.
What makes it harder is that cheap options and good options rarely seem to overlap in this space. Either you're paying more than you can justify for something decent or you're rolling the dice on something budget-priced that comes back generic, off-topic, or just plainly wrong. I've seen both outcomes described in forums like this one and I genuinely can't tell which experience is more common.
So I'm asking here before I make any decisions - has anyone actually cracked this and found something affordable that delivers consistently? What should I actually be looking for and what are the red flags worth avoiding?
As a student, procrastination has become a huge problem to me. And it's not just procrastinating on studying. I also freaking procrastinate on doing things I like. Wanna scroll insta? Sure let me just procrastinate by going to yt and waste the day there 1st. Wanna grab a snack from the kitchen? Nah. So eat like one meal per day and any time Ur hungry just drink a cup of milk. Wanna go outside? Nope. Wanna open your curtains let some light in? No I prefer being a bat. Wanna do a hobby or learn something I really like? Sure let me just plan it out in my head, procrastinate through that day dream and do nothing.
There's more but this is basically the crown of it I suppose. And as a psychology student, it's driving me extra crazy because I'm seeing sprinkles of symptoms but it would be crazy to just diagnose myself on that. Way too unreliable and biased
Hey I am an early career psychologist, practicing in India
I have been working for over a year now, primarily with adults, and my practice is currently online
Ask me anything!