u/Fluffy-Key-5387

Context:

My partner for 2 years and I, decided to separate ways.

It was a mutual decision, for the both of us.

I've talked a lot about here how to handle a mentally unstable partner, when to walk away.

And a lot of people here says, the best thing I can do for her and to myself was to let go. So I did.

I knew our relationship was doomed to have its end when I came back to our house, have to deal with my parents na against us. Till now, I have to deal with them while trying to make our relationship work.

Eventually, as much as I am willing to fight, my partner can't. She have her own issues at home, and personal problems which I believe are more harder than I have. So me being her on and only escapade, naging cause na rin ako sa mga problems niya.

I tried to understand her, give her space and understanding till I realize, I was left alone. I no longer in the relationship I've been trying to get back, to work because I was already just on my own. She choses herself while I am believing that someday, it will work out, someday all of these hardship will pay off. Yes, she is still sweet to me during that time, still kind of doing the intimacies we had back then. Pero patagal ng patagal it felt like sweet nothings.

So ayun, napagod ang bading hahaha originally we planned to break up when I came back at home abt 7 months ago, I just couldn't let go. Couldn't afford to be alone after she showed me the world.

All I can believe now, is that it's for the better. I'm doing okay surprisingly, not crying or anything. Just feeling sad when I remember it. We love each other till now, just isn't the right time to be together is all I'm thinking.

Problem/Goal:

How do you guys manage to cope with it? Especially now na vacation huhu, I can't really distract myself too much kasi I can't go out often, and I'm always alone basically I don't have friends to hangout with..

playing the waiting room by phoebe bridgers

well, after a long awaiting of debating on to let go or stay and make things work. We've come in terms to let go, surprisingly it wasn't hurting so much or siguro kasi fresh pa. It felt refreshingly free. Being I'm on my own now again feels a fresh breath of air.

We were doomed to have this outcome naman, and it cost us our relationship. From the inside arguments, to the outside factors (our environment, our parents). Eventually it affected us greatly, we just tried to make it work because we love each other so much. Pero sabi nga nila, mapapagod at mapapagod ka rin even if it's love na pinanghahawakan niyo.

Actually, I gave myself a vacation away from home to find myself, to find the courage of fighting for her, us again sa family ko. So we can be there for each other again. Because us being physically with each other is more than enough for us.

3 days ago when I realize, I'm the only one staying in this relationship. That I, no longer have the partner I had before. The one who says she loves me more than anything and still do doesn't feel anything anymore when she says that. I've come long to accept that even if I fought harder for this to work out, it wouldn't. Kasi relationship are supposed to work with 2 people in it.

She's sorry about putting me through all of this. I don't know exactly what caused this break up, it's the big and the little things that built it for me, so I can't say exactly what is it. All in all it was a mutual decision, kasi she knows i've been hurting so much and she already chosen herself.

If someday, even though I don't want to hope, I still wish to be her's again. Kasi for me oo, I'm certain that even if time passes by she'll still the one I would love in all my life. She's my first in everything, my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first valentine, my first who made me feel special, the one who celebrates my birthday when I have none, my eating buddy, kasama ko gumala, the first to make me feel to be seen.

I know she won't read this, kasi di naman siya familiar sa reddit. I just want to let you know, that I love you very much, more than anything in my life. And I will continue to do so, just secretly and on my own.

Siguro years from now, I would be okay. Someday I would understand myself deeply sa decision ko na to ngayon. I just know to myself, it was for the better.

context:

well I'm debating if I should just let go this person I have a almost 3 year relationship with. Reason was: there were many things that aren't meeting anymore. Especially she's going through something in her life, as I've mentioned in my last post na she's mentally unstable as of now. She insisted naman na i should break up with her kasi wala akong mapapala sakanya na, yet I stayed kasi I was afraid to be alone again or what would happen to her if I'm not there anymore.

Well time passed, still here we are trying to make things work out or just me trying? I've come to my senses na at this point, wala na akong partner. It's just me in this stupid relationship. Nakakapagod to be the one always understanding even if it hurts you, yung mga straightforward things na sinasabi niya na I wish I could do that sakanya, pero I can't kasi I always think of her. Lahat ng sinasabi niya, tinatatak ko sa isip ko even simple intimacy sakanya aren't being met. Mabuti pa nga siya meron siyang lakas magsabi ng mga ganyan, like hindi ko daw siya kinocompliment abt this. How about her? I was always the one making all the effort hahahaha

Nakakapagod, and I can't really decide to walk away or just stay like this. Wishing it would just go away. At this point, my heart only feels lighter when I woke up, for the rest of the day it felt so heavy.

Problem/Goal:

I know the answer myself na mag let go nalang, even if it will affect me much. I'm just curious how do you guys managed to do it?

Context

In the beginning, my girlfriend and I do the deed every chance we got and it is out of love. However doing it often, I started feeling like we were just doing it out of necessity, so we limited it for my peace of mind.

I have a very high sex drive, while hers is lower and she tires easily. It also pains me if she feels asleep agad after it, so minsan wala ng aftercare. Eh for me sobrang big deal ng aftercare kasi we talked about it. This often makes me feel like I'm asking for too much, so I stopped making moves or expecting anything, leaving my desires unfulfilled.

Later on, she went through severe life problems. Feeling partly responsible for her pain, I completely suppressed my sexual desires and kept myself busy so as not to burden her. She felt guilty and apologized for not being able to meet my needs due to her personal struggles.

After months of waiting for our sex life to return, I’ve grown tired. Now, even if we did it, I wouldn't be happy because it would feel forced, and making love used to be the most romantic, non-lustful thing for me.

Now it just became worst, after we called it off (our rs) for like a day(we're back tgt) she can't move on easily that i broke up with her and saying even simple hugging or kissing feels too much to her. If gusto niya man mangyari yun, gusto niya yung gustong gusto niya. If di na nga namemeet yung needs ko, mas lalo pang nawala e lmao. It felt so unfair..

To protect myself from constant disappointment, I have forced myself to become completely numb. My libido is gone, and for now kissing, touching, or intimacy feels like "I shouldn't" because I'm afraid it will lead to wanting more and getting hurt again. I feel like it's safer to just stay empty.

Problem/Goal:

For the WLW/gays out there, have any of you experienced this? How did you overcome it? I just need some insights, not necessarily advice, since I’ve already kind of given up on it.

*TW: Self-harm and suicidal thoughts*

Question:

I really need some advice because I’ve been drained for months. My partner is dealing with severe personal, family, and mental health issues, including self-harm attempts and suicide thoughts filling her head. It alarms me and makes me overthink constantly.

Context:

I’ve tried everything to help, but nothing works. She refuses my help and pushes me away, saying she needs space, which leaves me feeling draining, helpless, and unneeded. I even consulted professionals who, like me, suggested counseling, but she won't take it. Part of me feels responsible for the damage caused by my parents, who are homophobic and heavily against us, which I also have to face every day while healing myself.

Lately, we’ve been in a messy situation. I reached my limit because she unknowingly crossed my boundaries, so I broke up with her. I didn't fully mean it, but she took it seriously. She said the breakup felt relieving because she didn't have to deal with my parents anymore, which broke my heart after how hard I fought for her. Now, she says the spark is gone; she loves me but can't fully love me.

We are barely functioning as a couple. I no longer expect affection or sweetness. Every time we talk, she loses the mood after a few minutes, forcing myself to wait and restrain myself from messaging her all day. I feel like I'm strangling and trapping her just by trying to be there. To make it worse, i feel like she isn't comfortable with me right now and prefers turning to other people.

I love her and I can be patient, but masking my pain, watching her suffer, and walking on eggshells is breaking me. I cry whenever I hit my limit because this exhausting cycle just keeps repeating.

i just wanted to read someeeeee coming out stories hahahaha, I already did, they didn't accepted it. Planning again for the 2nd time (or maybe not) kapag independent na ko. Either way I will move out pa rin accepted man or not 😆. I am not risking my life hiding just because of parents, when i hid all my life and till now I'm still facing homophobic remarks from them pero wapakellssssss

well not today, but I'm planning to have my partner sa graduation ko which is 2-3 yrs from now.

context:

I already came out last year, not planned just my parents found out my rs and they didn't took that well, even after long messages of explaining that this is who I am. Even went far to make me separate with my gf and banned from seeing her.

I already set my plans that I won't be seeking anymore acceptance or validation from them, when I came back at our house I've told myself: finish school, have a job, and move out.

but journey wasn't easy, rn I'm still struggling how to make things easier (even planning to accept my father's na it's okay for us to be tgt just friends only = have to pretend again and gf doesn't want it anymore me either) or I should just settle for what I have now and focus on long term goal.

I've set this kinda long/short term goal that someday, I can come out again but this time on my own terms. I wanna do it before my graduation and I've been planning to study well and get a job (side hustles or atleast experience so i can have a stable job just after graduation).

i've been taking everyone's advice on me in reddit to come out when I'm independent, and financially stable.

Question:

I need tips on how to come out AGAIN. Since i already did naman na, i wanna know if any of u successfully got through coming out AGAIN.

And is my plan or decision okay?

context:

so i came across this video on tiktok abt wlw couple that's struggling cuz parents are against them. So i read some comments yk, like i reached the end of the comment section. There are only 4 outcomes in general:

1.) Parents accepted it later on cuz they fought for it, it takes months to years.

2.) Some parents didn't, they just built a new life away from the homophobic parents.

3.) Some got accepted, but eventually got cheated on.

4.) Some didn't fought their way and separated.

Out of the 4 outcomes, #1 outweigh them all. Some stories do include, the similar experience I am having rn (forced to separate w/ partner and not allowed to see her only secretly) but difference with me and them is that they have their strength and courage to fought back and eventually later on after months and years they got accepted.

Question:

I am curious, does any of you got the same outcome as #1?

I really did have my regrets back then, because I wasn't able to fought for my partner back then nor to myself, I admit I was weak. I fought for us naman( i said i love her, and this is who I really am, in the end they threatened me to cut connections w/ them and financially) but i feel like I didn't fought enough..

My plans for now, are letting her onto our home again as just friends so we can stop the hiding..

but now, these comments gave me hope.. i don't know maybe I'm just vulnerable now. Some comments said that, they kept letting their partner come to their house, still got the worse experience, and later on they just got accepted nalang.

Fellow gays, please be honest with me cuzzzz your girl is thinking abt this 24/7 for the past 7 months in this decision. Should i settle for just friends in their eyes or fought for us again?

rn all i want was to be with her, and stop the hiding. But the pretending part? my gf can't comply, i don't want to force her though. Ako siguro kaya ko pa masikmura, but ik it's like being on surveillance camera 24/7 naman if i chose this friends decision. If I fought for us again, one by one.. i will expect the worse. again. and it will probably dealt more damage again. for bg, I'm omw to 3rd year, I'm 20, and only child.

For anyone who tried counselling here, are they physcologist or psychiatrist? and what are your experience during your visit, how long should i wait for an appointment and is it free for non-qc resident? or i've read some that it costs 50-100 pesos.

good day, has anyone here tried the free counselling offered by tala hospital?? what was your experience, and is it okay?