r/WLW_PH

Problem/Goal:

I’ve been single for years now and i honestly haven’t talked to or entertained anyone romantically in a long time. I kinda want to test the waters again and see if i can still talk/flirt normally without being awkward lol. Just wanna know if i still got it 😂

Context:

I’ve been out of the dating scene for so long so i feel super rusty when it comes to talking to new people in that way. I’m trying to slowly get back into it and maybe try dating apps or platforms where i can meet decent people (hopefully not sketchy ones 😭).

If you have any recos for good dating apps/sites or even Reddit communities, pls drop them haha thank you!

Context:

My partner for 2 years and I, decided to separate ways.

It was a mutual decision, for the both of us.

I've talked a lot about here how to handle a mentally unstable partner, when to walk away.

And a lot of people here says, the best thing I can do for her and to myself was to let go. So I did.

I knew our relationship was doomed to have its end when I came back to our house, have to deal with my parents na against us. Till now, I have to deal with them while trying to make our relationship work.

Eventually, as much as I am willing to fight, my partner can't. She have her own issues at home, and personal problems which I believe are more harder than I have. So me being her on and only escapade, naging cause na rin ako sa mga problems niya.

I tried to understand her, give her space and understanding till I realize, I was left alone. I no longer in the relationship I've been trying to get back, to work because I was already just on my own. She choses herself while I am believing that someday, it will work out, someday all of these hardship will pay off. Yes, she is still sweet to me during that time, still kind of doing the intimacies we had back then. Pero patagal ng patagal it felt like sweet nothings.

So ayun, napagod ang bading hahaha originally we planned to break up when I came back at home abt 7 months ago, I just couldn't let go. Couldn't afford to be alone after she showed me the world.

All I can believe now, is that it's for the better. I'm doing okay surprisingly, not crying or anything. Just feeling sad when I remember it. We love each other till now, just isn't the right time to be together is all I'm thinking.

Problem/Goal:

How do you guys manage to cope with it? Especially now na vacation huhu, I can't really distract myself too much kasi I can't go out often, and I'm always alone basically I don't have friends to hangout with..

Hello there! I've created this account to express my anger and pain. I'm a femme, living with my lesbian partner for more than a year now. This is the first time that I've entered a relationship with a lesbian, please don't get me wrong on this. All of my exes are also femme or soft masc. Everything was new to me, given our age gap of 10 years as well. I'm 28 btw. - So eto na nga, first time ko maranasan sa kanya lahat, yung sigawan kapag nag-aaway to the point na nagkakasiraan na ng gamit and sakitan physically. One of my non-nego before was bounce na ako kapag dumampi sa akin yung kamay niya, but look at me now - still suffering with the same BS. Why? Mahal ko eh. Until today, meron kasi siyang ugali na magsasabi lang kapag tomorrow na yung lakad, like how would you feel if sayo gagawin yun? 24/7 tayo magkasama sa bahay and never mo naisip magsabi sa akin? Sasabihin mo lang kapag nakapagdecide kana? Idagdag mo pa yung fact na yung nagyaya sayo is someone na pinagseselosan ko, and hindi ako comfy na kasama mo. Umabot na naman kami sa sakitan, hinampas niya ako sa ulo twice, and it hurts until now. Hindi ko na alam yung gagawin ko. Plus na natin yung factor na unemployed ako now kaya di ako makalaya. - Gusto ko lang ilabas lahat to, kasi bukod sa nasasaktan ako until now physically, sobrang durog na rin ako emotionally and mentally. Hindi na detailed yung kwento ko, I know madaming tanong. But - ask niyo na lang din ako.

Problem: I found out my ex has been badmouthing me to her friends and making exaggerated claims.

Context:

She broke up with me because our goals and views regarding our relationship didn't align anymore. I wanted stability whereas she wanted spontaneity. I tried my best to be the "clingy" girlfriend that she wanted but I had a hard time as it was just not in my nature. I was also struggling with working two jobs and taking care of my parents. I admit that there are times where I was too tired to communicate or be affectionate but I definitely wasn't neglectful or emotionallly constipated like what she has been saying.

I think I am at the point where I don't want to get back together with her but I still feel hurt when she badmouths me because I cared deeply for her and I've never said anything negative towards her publicly. Even when I am just with my friends, I try to explain her perspective so that they won't hate her too much. We were officially together for 2 years and its been months since we broke up. This is also my first WLW relationship but not my first relationship overall because I'm bi. Why do I still care what she thinks about me? How do I make it stop? Send help.

Problem/Goal: What do you do if you really like someone who’s already in an open relationship (wlw)?

Context: It stopped feeling casual/unserious for me unfortunately. I’ve only ever been in monogamous relationships, but weirdly enough, her having a partner didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. If anything, it’s making me question whether I actually align with monogamy as much as I used to.

I guess I just wanna know what this is realistically like from people who’ve actually been in healthy poly/throuple/open dynamics. If I confess my feelings to her, how does that usually go? Should I even try? Do you also have to build a relationship with the partner? How do you establish boundaries for yourself and theirs while still respecting both people involved? And how do you know if poly/open dynamics are genuinely for you?

Would appreciate honest thoughts/advice from people with experience!!!

context: Recently accepted that I like girls, but I have zero game.

I (21F) am completely new to this. I’ve only recently gotten comfortable with the idea of being into girls and opening myself up to the idea of a relationship/fling as a whole. I really want to start putting myself out there, but I am honestly so lost. Ideally, I’d love an organic encounter for my first experience with a girl—but the problem is, I cannot flirt for fuck’s sake. I just don't know how to make that shift from "friendly conversation" to "romantic/flirty connection." i am already awkward with most encounters. I figured trying online flirting first might be a good way to practice, test the waters, and build up my confidence before trying to navigate it in person.

Breakup hurts but nothing is more uncomfortable than sitting in complete silence after months of chaos. Yes, break up hurts but the discomfort of feeling relief on losing them is what would kill you. I loved them, and I know I still do. I bled and I shed tears for months trying to keep them but these feelings, I don't like this. It makes me feel like what we had was nothing, when I know to myself that I gave my all till I ran out.

But maybe that's the truth we were both too afraid to admit: we were both running on empty long before we let go.

We loved each other; I know we did. Not the shallow type of love that people easily abandon, but the kind that keeps you going even when you're exhausted. The kind that continues to choose each other despite every misunderstanding, sleepless night, and difficult conversation. We kept trying. God, we truly did.

But somewhere along the way, love no longer felt safe for both of us. We became two wounded people, trying to console each other while bleeding from the same wounds. And no matter how much love we still had, we were both too tired to bear the burden of who we had become.

I believe that is why this hurts differently. Because there is no true villain in our story. There is no easy person to hate. Just two people who deeply loved each other but gradually lost themselves in the process of attempting to make things work.

And maybe that's why the silence is so loud now. We've gotten so used to chaos, fixing, crying, and clutching tighter every time things go wrong that peace almost feels unnatural. I still miss them. I'm still thinking about the good in us. But, at the same time, there's a quiet relief that neither of us has to suffer in that way anymore.

That's the part no one prepares you for: grieving someone while also mourning the version of yourself that can no longer be saved.

Because the breakup did not result from a lack of love. We both ran out. I ran out of energy. I ran out of reassurance. We ran out of ways to stop hurting each other without intending to.

And perhaps loving someone sometimes entails accepting that the kindest thing you can do for each other is to let go.

context:

well I'm debating if I should just let go this person I have a almost 3 year relationship with. Reason was: there were many things that aren't meeting anymore. Especially she's going through something in her life, as I've mentioned in my last post na she's mentally unstable as of now. She insisted naman na i should break up with her kasi wala akong mapapala sakanya na, yet I stayed kasi I was afraid to be alone again or what would happen to her if I'm not there anymore.

Well time passed, still here we are trying to make things work out or just me trying? I've come to my senses na at this point, wala na akong partner. It's just me in this stupid relationship. Nakakapagod to be the one always understanding even if it hurts you, yung mga straightforward things na sinasabi niya na I wish I could do that sakanya, pero I can't kasi I always think of her. Lahat ng sinasabi niya, tinatatak ko sa isip ko even simple intimacy sakanya aren't being met. Mabuti pa nga siya meron siyang lakas magsabi ng mga ganyan, like hindi ko daw siya kinocompliment abt this. How about her? I was always the one making all the effort hahahaha

Nakakapagod, and I can't really decide to walk away or just stay like this. Wishing it would just go away. At this point, my heart only feels lighter when I woke up, for the rest of the day it felt so heavy.

Problem/Goal:

I know the answer myself na mag let go nalang, even if it will affect me much. I'm just curious how do you guys managed to do it?

Context: nasa situationship ako with a closeted bi na may boyfriend. Kaso di niya ako mapanindigan kasi gusto niya magpakasal dun sa jowa niya.

Bi-femme here(39). Im in a situation na sobra na kong hulog na hulog. May babae(30) akong nakasituationship. I know she loves me too because she told me and ramdam ko din naman. Di lang ako mapanindigan kasi may boyfriend siya and gusto niya mag end up with this man. Pero bare minimum naman(base sa kwento niya). Sobra ko ng lungkot na ayaw ko siyang mawala and pumayag na lang ako to be friends with her. Hindi ko na alam. Hihintayin ko na lamg ba siya? I let go ko na ba? Pero meron sa loob ko na ayaw kong mag move on sa kanya kasi ibig sabihin nun wala na kong love. Eh ayoko nga mawala yung love ko sa kanya kasi siya yung nagpapasaya sakin kahiy masakit na. Araw araw pa rin kaming nag uusap. Wala na nga lang landian. And di ko alam kung okay lang ako dun. Ayaw ko siyang mawala na kahit kaibigan lang pumapayag ako.

May nararamdaman pa din ba siya sakin kasi nag uusap pa rin kami. Walang nagbago. Pero wala nga lang landian. At nararamdaman ko na nagseselos siya whenever nagtatapic ako ng ibang guys. Mababago ko pa ba ang isip niya?

Problem/Goal:

I’m struggling to process the intense grief and confusion of losing a long-distance connection that only lasted a month and a half. I feel silly hurting this badly over 45 days when my past 1-year relationship didn't even sting this much. I'm looking for advice on how to heal from this sudden emotional whiplash, and hoping to connect with anyone here who has dealt with a partner shutting down or deactivating just as things got real.

Context:

I was recently talking to an incredible girl. Despite the distance and the short timeline, the emotional depth was insane. We talked constantly and shared our deepest vulnerabilities. She told me I was a comfort sent by God after a lifetime of chaos, and we were already imagining a future together and planning trips for next year. I fell completely for the pure potential of "us."

Then, out of nowhere, she suddenly shifted, deactivated, and told me her feelings started to subside. She told me, *"I treated you differently because you were special. Because I thought na tatagal tayo. Because I liked you, but I never thought na hanggang doon lang."* She’s still a student with so many of her own plans, and it hurts to realize she just chose to take me out of her equation because it felt easier to run than to face the vulnerability. I sent her a final, peaceful text respecting her choice and letting her go without guilt, but I'm still sitting here with the aftermath of the heartbreak.

playing the waiting room by phoebe bridgers

well, after a long awaiting of debating on to let go or stay and make things work. We've come in terms to let go, surprisingly it wasn't hurting so much or siguro kasi fresh pa. It felt refreshingly free. Being I'm on my own now again feels a fresh breath of air.

We were doomed to have this outcome naman, and it cost us our relationship. From the inside arguments, to the outside factors (our environment, our parents). Eventually it affected us greatly, we just tried to make it work because we love each other so much. Pero sabi nga nila, mapapagod at mapapagod ka rin even if it's love na pinanghahawakan niyo.

Actually, I gave myself a vacation away from home to find myself, to find the courage of fighting for her, us again sa family ko. So we can be there for each other again. Because us being physically with each other is more than enough for us.

3 days ago when I realize, I'm the only one staying in this relationship. That I, no longer have the partner I had before. The one who says she loves me more than anything and still do doesn't feel anything anymore when she says that. I've come long to accept that even if I fought harder for this to work out, it wouldn't. Kasi relationship are supposed to work with 2 people in it.

She's sorry about putting me through all of this. I don't know exactly what caused this break up, it's the big and the little things that built it for me, so I can't say exactly what is it. All in all it was a mutual decision, kasi she knows i've been hurting so much and she already chosen herself.

If someday, even though I don't want to hope, I still wish to be her's again. Kasi for me oo, I'm certain that even if time passes by she'll still the one I would love in all my life. She's my first in everything, my first girlfriend, my first kiss, my first valentine, my first who made me feel special, the one who celebrates my birthday when I have none, my eating buddy, kasama ko gumala, the first to make me feel to be seen.

I know she won't read this, kasi di naman siya familiar sa reddit. I just want to let you know, that I love you very much, more than anything in my life. And I will continue to do so, just secretly and on my own.

Siguro years from now, I would be okay. Someday I would understand myself deeply sa decision ko na to ngayon. I just know to myself, it was for the better.

Context

In the beginning, my girlfriend and I do the deed every chance we got and it is out of love. However doing it often, I started feeling like we were just doing it out of necessity, so we limited it for my peace of mind.

I have a very high sex drive, while hers is lower and she tires easily. It also pains me if she feels asleep agad after it, so minsan wala ng aftercare. Eh for me sobrang big deal ng aftercare kasi we talked about it. This often makes me feel like I'm asking for too much, so I stopped making moves or expecting anything, leaving my desires unfulfilled.

Later on, she went through severe life problems. Feeling partly responsible for her pain, I completely suppressed my sexual desires and kept myself busy so as not to burden her. She felt guilty and apologized for not being able to meet my needs due to her personal struggles.

After months of waiting for our sex life to return, I’ve grown tired. Now, even if we did it, I wouldn't be happy because it would feel forced, and making love used to be the most romantic, non-lustful thing for me.

Now it just became worst, after we called it off (our rs) for like a day(we're back tgt) she can't move on easily that i broke up with her and saying even simple hugging or kissing feels too much to her. If gusto niya man mangyari yun, gusto niya yung gustong gusto niya. If di na nga namemeet yung needs ko, mas lalo pang nawala e lmao. It felt so unfair..

To protect myself from constant disappointment, I have forced myself to become completely numb. My libido is gone, and for now kissing, touching, or intimacy feels like "I shouldn't" because I'm afraid it will lead to wanting more and getting hurt again. I feel like it's safer to just stay empty.

Problem/Goal:

For the WLW/gays out there, have any of you experienced this? How did you overcome it? I just need some insights, not necessarily advice, since I’ve already kind of given up on it.

Problem:

I’m dating someone for a few months now, and during the early stages pa lang sinabi na niya na she has PCOS. To be honest, I know what it is, pero hindi ko talaga fully alam kung gaano kalaki yung effect nito physically and mentally sa isang tao. I’m fortunate enough not to have the condition, so I’m still trying to understand it better.

I want to include her sa mga activities na ginagawa ko because she seems interested naman. Ang worry ko lang is baka hindi niya kayanin physically, mawalan siya ng gana bigla, or ma-pressure siya without me realizing it.

Context:

For context, I have a very active lifestyle. I play badminton at least three times a week, then gym or pickleball kapag walang badminton. I also hike once a month and recently got into running. Most of these ginagawa ko after work or during weekends.

Siya naman is a professor, and twice a week lang yung classes niya so she has a lot of free time. Pero most of the time, nasa condo lang siya and usually sleeping or resting.

Lately, I’ve been researching foods and fruits that might help with PCOS, pati easy workouts or beginner gym exercises since may gym naman sa condo nila. Ang challenge lang is magkalayo kami, so every two weeks lang kami nagkikita and usually dates lang talaga nagagawa namin.

One of our goals right now is sana makapag-hike kami sa Mount Pulag by November. I originally had other hiking plans for this month, pero naisip ko na since may ilang months pa naman before November, baka kaya pa namin paghandaan together at a comfortable pace for her.

I genuinely want to support her and encourage her to become more active in a healthy and comfortable way, without making her feel judged or pressured. Any advice from people with PCOS or those dating someone with PCOS?

I thought I was okay.
I convinced myself I was okay.

I was surviving the days, keeping myself busy, trying not to think about you as much. I thought maybe I was finally reaching that point where missing you didn’t hurt the same way anymore.

Then I saw you joined Telegram.

And suddenly something inside me cracked in a way I didn’t expect.

My mind instantly went somewhere I hate: you’re moving on already. You’re open to meeting someone new. You’re ready to give someone else your time, your attention, your laughter, your softer side, your insights, your curiousity, your taste in music.

And here I am, still trying to gather pieces of myself after everything.

I know joining an app doesn’t automatically mean anything. I know I’m probably creating stories in my head. But emotions don’t always listen to logic.

I keep asking myself why life feels so unfair sometimes.

Why do other people seem to get the best parts of you, while I got the confusion, the pain, the uncertainty, and all the things that broke me? Why did I love you so deeply and still end up feeling like I got the version of you that couldn’t fully choose me?

I thought I was okay. I really believed I was.

But maybe healing isn’t as linear as I wanted it to be. Maybe some days remind you that the wound still exists even when you thought it already closed.

​

context:

HI, SO I HATE BEING SHY AT MY BIG AGE. LIKE IM ALREADY 25 IM STILL SHY TALKING TO SOMEONE ESPESCIALLY WHEN TALKING TO GIRLS THAT I LIKED OR IM INTERESTED IN AND I DONT KNOW WHY. (._.)

so, for context i met her here. she was looking for people to talk to and i tried to hit her up, and it went well. i think 2 days passed I asked her agad if shes down to join my sidequest this month, and she said yes (which i didnt expect because she said she is busy w her ojt and work) so fast forward before the day kami mag meet, we exchange socials, then after that she messaged agad "its okay to unfollow if u find it catfishy" (non verbatim) but i dont find her that way because i find HER CUTE AND PRETTY ! ! so i said "no, ur okay" "u look pretty" and then i send her the details about sa side quest namin. she was still down for it. so tumuloy kami sa side quest namin, so dumating na yung araw for that event. I was really kinakabahan and na sstressed out becuase it was my first time nalang ulit to go out with a woman after being a homebody for 2years haha. so ayun na, nag meet muna kami before kami pumunta sa pupuntahan namin.

Naka punta ako ng mas maaga sakanya ng onti sa meeting place but nag yosi muna ako kasi kabado ako hahshsha like literal na kabado na nginginig kamay level. then when we saw each other na, my first impression sakanya is she is really PRETTY and CUTE, she also has sense of style which is I LIKE. then nung nag gegetting to know each other na kami my voice is shaking when im answering her questions

(/ー￣;) but i tried to flirt w her thru eye contact but di ako makatagal dahil sa sobrang kaba (kabadingan).. after namin kumain we went na don sa pupuntahan namin then andun na kami sa location ng event we barely like talk to each other because I was tahimik and non chalant lang, kasi nahihiya ako sakanya and shes very very outgoing. the whole day we barely got to know each other because we were busy doing our thing nun. So our day ends na pagod kami and barely know each other.

Also, if im being honest gusto ko pa siya kilalanin ulit but di ko alam if i should make kulit pa kasi di na siya nag response sa chat ko. Im so guilty tuloy ngayon for being shy and hindi ko siya ineentertain during that time. she is really fun to be with but ako super nonchalant (which is i dont like huhu).

problem/goal:

how do i overcome my shyness at this big age (ToT) ang dami ko na rin na walang fine shyts dahil sa pagiging awkward and shy ko. nyeche huhu.

Context: What is this feeling?

My girlfriend and I have been together for 1 year and 5 months, and my feelings for her keep getting stronger and stronger each day.

Whenever she’s not with me, my heart aches. I always long for her. I always miss her scent, her skin against mine, and her soft lips. Is this called yearning? It’s like I want to live under her skin. Sometimes, I even resent the fact that I have to work, because it takes time away from being with her.

She’s not my first girlfriend. I’ve had two exes before, but I never felt something this intense with them.

Am I overreacting for feeling this way? Because if I am, I’m still glad that I get to feel this way for someone.

(Naiiyak ako iniisip ko pa lang sya hdjdjd)

Problem/ Goal: have any experience this? How did you overcome it?

Context: The Weight of Choosing Myself

After the breakup, everything around me feels strangely calm on the outside but painfully heavy on the inside. My ex and I have already agreed to separate, divide the property, and move out by the end of June. The decisions are clear, the plans are set, and both of us are trying to handle things maturely. But the emotional reality underneath is far more complicated.

Seeing her now feels easier on the surface, yet deep inside my heart melts every time I remember that soon we will no longer share the same space, routines, or daily life. What hurts even more is knowing that her home environment will change drastically. I expected her siblings to stay with her, but I’ve learned that only her brother will remain. Her sister and niece — the people who kept her company and filled the house with familiar energy — will be gone too. I know how close she is to her niece, how they watch Netflix together, and how that presence comforts her. Losing both me and her niece at the same time will create a new emptiness in her life, and that thought makes me deeply sad for her.

I chose myself, but deep inside I am hurting too. Whenever I see her hurting, a part of me wants to comfort her and take back the breakup. And now, after telling my parents about the separation and property division, they asked me to try fixing things because they are hurting as well. Her kids became their grandchildren. She became the daughter that they lost since they have me (now they consider as son) and my brother only. Our fathers became close buddies, and our mothers bonded too. On her side, the kids and her parents still don’t know, and it feels heavy knowing they will be deeply hurt once they find out. Even my close friends at work were saddened when I told them.

But I know that if I give in again for the sake of everyone around us, we will only fall back into the same cycle — the arguments, the incompatibility, the resentment. And that would hurt both of us even more in the long run.

I’m used to being alone and doing things by myself but when I experienced having someone to be do activities with, grow to love them and also care for them, it flipped my needs and wants entirely.

Weird pala ng feeling na walang minmessage constantly. Someone who you share your day with and check in with.

It has been a while since I have a constant person to talk to and I am learning to sit with silence again. Content with my own person, my family and my friends, I am back to my old routine because of misalignments with people whom I thought I wanted to be with. I grew tired once again but what is that feeling of wanting to find someone to choose you for who you are and wants to grow with you unconditionally.

I definitely do not want dependency, I want consistency. I want clarity over noise. I want stability over sporadic dopamine-induced highs and lows. I most definitely want peace over anxiety.

I want to be chosen and not to be an option.

What is this weird feeling of wanting to have someone despite being content on being independent and being alone for a long time?

I also have standards, specific ones that I value a lot and whenever one is not met - it gets harder to find my person. A person that shares my similar lifestyle and an emotionally mature and intellectual individual to begin with.

Sometimes I wonder, is this list being too strict or I just know what I deserve?

I just wonder what this is all about. Maybe I am just living in my headspace and stewing in these thoughts of mine for quite some time. Too much wondering I guess.

Alam nyo yun? nakakamiss din to have someone na pagkwekwentuhan mo ng nangyari sa araw mo, makikinig sa mga rants mo, pagsesendan mo ng funny videos at walang kwentang memes. Nakakamiss yung may aabangan kang message sa umaga. Nakakamiss may kaaway (lol)...yung mga ganon ba HAHAHAHAHA jusko naman wala pang 10PM so siguro kinakabag lang ako huhu

i always tell myself na hindi muna ako magjojowa not until i finish my degree because i know i can’t handle another heartbreak, especially now that i’m in my 4th year and at the crucial part of my life where i’m building my future. but God, I miss having someone to lean on after a long day, someone to share small wins and random thoughts with. i miss the comfort, the presence, and the feeling of being genuinely cared for. 🥹

okay, guys time check whahahaha. mareview na lang talaga ako