r/WLW_PH

Hello po,

Problem/Goal: I don't know how to date women.

Context:

So ayun. Kaka-out ko pa lang sa mga kakilala ko. Actually alam ko naman na na I am bisexual college pa lang. I know too late na para sa iba sa inyo. But yeah, I've had girl crushes since elem. Pero I've been so strict with myself that I thought I need to be in a relationship with a woman first before I can label myself as Bi. Nung college lang ako nagkaroon ng attraction with a woman na I am willing to date. So that is when I realized that I am gay. Pero laging wala sa timing kasi that time may jowa siya nun.

But now na ang tanda ko na haha #28. I realized na hindi rin naman ako makakahanap ng woman to date if I don't go out of the closet. So now that I am out. I don't really know how to date.

My first relationship was with a man. It is not a good relationship to be honest. He crossed every boundary that I set and even cheated on me. I healed, moved on, and was alone for years.

Now I know that I am fully ready to put myself out there and date. But I don't know how to date. Haha. And I don't like dating apps because most of the time they are not looking for something serious. I am looking for my wife and not some casual sht.

I don't have LGBTQIA+ sa circle of friends ko. So dito na lang ako nag ask for advice. Haha

May mga nabasa rin ako na red flags daw mga bisexual. I don't know saan nanggaling yun.

So ayun. Please give me advice or something I need to know or something you wanted your past self to know that will also help me.

Thank you in advance!!

Problem/Goal: how do introvert socialize, mabilis akong madrain and ayokong maging bad yung impression sa akin

Context:

hi, i'm having trouble socializing with people. for context, my gf and i are living together for almost 4 years. her friends stayed here sa house for 3 days and 2 nights. i'm okay with it, and i like her friends din naman talaga. pero ang bilis kong mapagod (?) or mawalan ng energy? parang hindi ako makasabay sa energy nila. mataas din energy ng gf ko and napansin na rin nung isang friend niya. sinabi na hindi nga kami same kaya parang mabilis daw akong madrain. i'm bothered kasi once maubos ang social battery ko, tumatahimik ako and nagsstay lang sa side or sa bandang likod, palagi ko namang sinasabi sa gf ko na sabayan yung mga friends niya (kapag gumagala). okay lang naman ako, just need some peace and quiet hahaha.(may times na hindi, kasi parang nawawala ako sa mood).

i feel like draining akong kasama kaya parang ayoko nang sumama sa mga gala kahit ayain ako. tapos nakadagdag pa yung nagvisit kami sa province nila. yung mom niya, parang gusto na katabi palagi si gf (kami ni sister niya ang magkasama) i understand naman din kasi alam kong miss na rin si gf ng mama niya. gusto siyang igala ba, and maraming mga kwento tapos 7 days lang kami magsstay. kaso lang, may times na parang nilalayo talaga siya ng mom niya sa akin hahaha. don't get me wrong, okay ang treatment sa akin ng mom niya. hindi lang din talaga siya agree sa relationship namin kasi Christian sila. mas okay raw na friends kami. ayun na nga, nalungkot ako sa stay namin sa province nila kasi parang tail kami nung sister niya sa kanilang dalawa. sumusunod lang kami, parang ganon.

may times na hindi ko na lang din masyadong pinapansin si gf kasi naiinis ako at nagffocus sa ibang things and i know na nasaktan ko siya. mas tumatatak pa naman sa kanya yung mga bad things. kaya bothered ako na baka yung pagtahimik ko at hindi pakikipaginteract ay bad na pala ang dating sa family and friends niya. i guess, struggling din sa mental health but i wanted to fix myself kasi mahal na mahal ko talaga siya. torn between breaking up with her and fixing myself. please i need advice and opinions. be kind, thank you

Hi uhm new here just wanted to share my exp. Hope im in the right audience hehe 😅

So I go to a club alone. The vibe there was very friendly. Puro millenials and genz as well. I was at a cocktail bar table with other solo bar goers. Mind you im extroverted. Then we were just enjoying the party to the point that one of my “just met friend” knows the people at the couch area. So people there told us to join them. Aaand theen we are at the peak of the night where we are all drunk hahahhah 🤣. One girl approached me. She told me na samahan ko siya mag-cr. Thats normal for me. Sinamahan ko naman siya. Pinauna ko pa nga sa cubicle. But then she pulled me in??? Im likkke girrrl. She kissed me. I kissed her back. We were both drunk okkk. And then kind of worried about long lines outside cr. I did make her to stop. Then we go to the group again like nothing happened. Just enjoying the rest of the night. One of her friends said na they should go home na coz its already 4am. She hugged me, then she whispered to my ear that she really enjoyed it. I smiled. We both said goodbye.

The thing is i usually date men. Nasakto kasing single ako and gusto kong mag-walwal. But narealize ko… ok i like girrrls. I did not got her deets though. Kami na sana 😅 eme hahahahah

Problem/Goal:
Need your advice and reassurance because this is my first heartbreak. I want to know if what I’m experiencing is normal and if anyone else has gone through the same thing.
Context:
It’s been almost 2 weeks since our breakup, and napansin ko na every morning paggising ko, sobrang bigat ng feeling. Hindi naman ako umiiyak, pero may weird feeling sa tiyan ko na hindi ko ma-explain. Parang may knot or pit sa stomach ko, tapos parang kinakabahan ako agad pagkagising.
Ang first instinct ko rin is i-check agad yung phone ko, kahit alam kong wala naman akong ine-expect na message. Parang automatic siyang ginagawa ng katawan ko.
Unlike the first 2 days after the breakup na halos hindi talaga ako makatulog, okay na yung sleep ko ngayon. Nakakatulog na ako agad sa gabi. Ang problem lang is once na magising ako sa umaga, hindi na ako makatulog ulit dahil andun na agad yung heavy feeling sa tiyan at parang anxiety.
The weird part is habang tumatagal yung araw, especially pagdating ng gabi, okay naman ako. Nakakatawa ako, nakakapaglaro, nakakapag-scroll, and minsan feeling ko tanggap ko na. Then the next morning, babalik na naman yung same feeling.
Since first heartbreak ko ’to, hindi ko alam kung normal ba ‘tong ganito or if it’s because sobrang dysregulated pa ng nervous system ko after everything that happened.
Questions:
Normal ba na mornings lang talaga yung pinakamahirap after a breakup?
May naka-experience rin ba ng heavy feeling sa tiyan or parang anxious agad pagkagising?
Gaano katagal bago naging okay ulit yung mornings niyo?
Any advice on what helped you regulate your nervous system and move forward?

Thank you po sa mga sasagot!🫶

hi!

problem/context: it’s our first time using sex toys and we’ve been looking for a good toy for ldr, preferably something that my so can control via app?

goal: to find a good brand/product of a toy for ldr, vib, and strap on maybe? 👀 since we will also see each other soon and planning to explore this time hehehe maybe u guys have brand recos— will really appreciate advice too bc first time namin huhu (one way kami btw and im the receiver)

Problem: How do I confess my feelings for someone who probably doesn't remember me anymore?

Context: halos 2 years na kaming hindi naguusap ng someone na nameet ko through x simula nung ghinost ko sya because i am very insecure. yes, i am well aware na kasalanan ko. we've only met once and i thought everything was going well pero after that she texted me less. i've always thought na maybe hindi nya nagustuhan yung itsura ko kasi ang taba ko e. lalo pa ako tumaba nung college na. e sya na sa kanya na lahat. sobrang nahiya ako sa sarili ko kasi baka nga dumidistansya na sya kaya inunahan ko na. the thing is I can't move forward. she probably doesn't even remember me anymore pero ako naiwan e nandun pa rin. sabi ko kung makakapasa ako sa qualifying exams, the plan is to get a glow up and confess. tell her to reject me so i can move forward na. i already know i am the asshole here, i just wanted to get anyone's advice on how i should do this confession thing kasi ang bigat na.

I have a gf of 5 years and currently we both agreed that the relationship is not really working out. She wanted to break up with me because she doesn't want to feel guilty all the time for not giving time or having the thought that someone is always waiting on her. I did not agree but I'm really struggling. Right now we can only do vc once a week or two if we're lucky. She can't reply or update as much as I do because she's busy and always tired with work and other responsibilities. I try to understand but sometimes I can't really wrap my head around how hard it is to send a single text.

I also recently opened up if I could talk with other people just to make friends. I sent her a screenshot of threads here on reddit. In my mind I was just sharing what I read. She did not reply for more than a day and eventually told me that she's not comfortable. She thinks I'm looking for another person to date.

She doesn't want to make plans with me as well because she thinks it's useless. She's not really sure about her future because she might migrate abroad. She's also not open with her family yet. I've already introduced her to my family and friends. This is not a big deal with my because I don't want to pressure her with coming out. But recently she's also saying it's another reason why she wants to break up because she feels guilty. She said it isn't fair with me.

I always say no but lately I've been thinking if I'm just making it hard for the both of us. I still don't want to break up. I told her I want to hold on as long as I can.

I just wanted to get this off my chest.

Problem: Na unfollow kasi nadala sa emotion kahit wala naman siyang kinalaman. lol.

Context: May nakilala me sa dating app and nung una nag fflirt ako sa kaniya kasi nagandahan me but ayaw nya talagaa. may streak kami sa tiktok and umabot siya 400+ pero di lang yun puro vids sinisend namin. nagra-rant us about acads or like sa life. for me, naging close talaga kami ewan ko lang sa kaniya. medjo cold kasi siya pero yun na talaga ata personality nya. type ko talaga siya kasi mabait tas matalino maganda pa mataa. inunfollow ko siya last week. gaga kasi me pag may problem, nag aavoid me talaga. like before pa nangyari yung unfollow, na end na streak namin kasi busy din siya sa acads nya. mula nun, di na us masyado nag kkwento and like nag sesend nalang ng video. so parang yun din nasa utak ko na wala naman na. pero kagabi, napaginipan ko siya beh and i somehow miss her talaga. comforting din kasi siya like wala siyang problema talaga. ngayon, gusto ko siya e follow again pero feel ko ayaw na nya TAS NAKAKAHIYA YUN. ewan, gusto ko talaga siya pero we can’t be together kasi alam ko naman yun. beh, medj kahawig nya si this is LANS tas nare-remind ako. naging important din kasi siya sakin kasi may mga rants ako na siya lang nakakaalam. e follow ko ba again?

Everyone says they want something real, but in practice a lot of us are also trained to keep one foot out the door. Not always because of fear of the person in front of us, but because experience has taught us to be ready for things to end before they fully begin.

In WLW spaces especially, connection can move very quickly at the start. It can feel emotionally open, easy, even intense. Then it suddenly becomes uncertain. Not necessarily because anything went wrong, but because timing, expectations, or emotional readiness do not always line up. When that happens, a lot of people tend to step away instead of staying in the in-between.

I think part of this is shaped by how we see relationships online. Dating apps and social media constantly show us versions of connection that look smooth and immediate. Couples that seem perfectly in sync. Stories that look effortless from the start. It creates this idea that if something is right, it should feel obvious early on.

So when something does not feel that way, when it is slower or a bit unclear at the beginning, it can easily be read as incompatibility instead of something that just needs time.

There is also the reality of choice. Even in WLW dating where the pool can already feel limited, many of us end up talking to multiple people at once. Not always out of disinterest, but because that is how the space works now. It creates a quiet pressure to evaluate things quickly instead of letting them develop naturally.

I do not think this comes from a lack of sincerity. Most people still want depth. But the structure we are dating in often rewards early intensity more than slow building.

And I keep wondering if that changes how we understand potential. If something slightly awkward or slow at the start gets dismissed not because it is wrong, but because it does not match what we have been conditioned to expect from something that is “right.”

I do not really have a conclusion.

Just a question I keep coming back to.

In WLW dating today, are we actually incompatible more often, or are we just less willing to stay long enough to find out what something could have become?

[Medyo long post]

Can I just say, na-confirm kong bading talaga ako nung na-experience ko na i-love ang so ko 🥹🤍 I’m 28 and she’s turning 28 in a few weeks.

Nag-start kami as friends almost 2 years ago, met her through a friend, naging magkalaro sa kung anu-anong games, and the rest was history. Ngayon, wahahahahaha dami kong natututunan about myself dahil sa kanya. Nagbago rin tingin ko sa sex, kasi wow ang sarap pala talaga, gets ko na yung hype hahaha

I also used to think sex was overrated. Yung experience ko kasi dati, naisip ko, “Ito na yun? Akala ko ba masaap?” Up unril I met my baby, the loml 🙂‍↔️

Natatawa ako kasi pag napag-uusapan namin, sinasabi niya parang ang saglit lang daw ng ginagawa namin. Sabi ko, huh e madalas nag-uumpisa kami ng 10PM, minsan earlier pa, pero may araw na, hindi pa kami tapos 🤭 Quickie na siguro yung apat na oras 🤣 Ihi at water break lang pahinga HAHAHAHAHAHA

Grabe parang hindi siya napapagod, maya’t maya rin natu-turn on ako sa kanya. Pawis na pawis na ako tapos siya nginingitian lang ako nang nakakabaliw na ngiti, hahaha shocks naaalala ko, nakakaulol yung mukha 😆 Sabi niya, wala pa itong mga ginagawa namin. Marami pang pwedeng gawin. Kaya sabi ko, sige, binibigay ko full consent ko. Ready ako bumale-balentong, kahit anong position, ita-try ko. Kahit anong mode, kakayanin ko 🤣

I love how she makes me feel (during sex at sa ibang aspects). I love thinking about her. Minsan kahit wala siyang gawin, nanggigigil ako sa kanya hahaha kaya inaasar niya ako na malibog! Ayan effect niya sakin! Grabe, crush na crush ko pa rin siya hanggang ngayon. Hindi naman din talaga ako mahilig sa sex noon pero ngayon, palagi ko na cine-crave ang baby ko huhuhu. Kahit di kami magkasama, naiisip ko pa lang siya, nanggigigil na ako hahahaha (1.5 way kami, receiver ako 🤪)

Pero honestly, the sex is just a plus. Idk if she feels the same about me pagdating jan kasi it’s just sooooo damn good (newbie kasi ako sa lesbian sex, she’s my first and only, tapos experimenting pa ako, learning and researching 😆) but I just love her entirety. Sure, we aren’t perfect, may mga bagay na kailangan pang i-work on, pero she just makes me so happy in so many ways. God, I love her so much nakakaulol talaga!! Kinikilig ako kahit huminga lang siya 😭

If you’re reading this, I hope you know, and I hope I make you feel how much you mean to me.

Anyway, ayun lang. Miss ko na siya hehe ang bango bango pa niya lagi 😆

Haii~

Context:

A few months ago, I confessed that I liked her. She didn’t reject me, but she said she’d rather we get to know each other as friends first. Tama naman siya.

We’ve now been talking for about a few months. She’s admitted she isn’t big on texting in general. We don’t talk every day, which I actually prefer because I’d rather get to know someone in person than build a false sense of intimacy through constant texting.

Recently, she asked me to hang out.

The problem is… I was SO. fucking. shy.

I barely made eye contact because that’s what happens when I really like someone, and honestly I couldn’t think straight because I found her so pretty🥲. Bading na bading ako😩

I ended up letting her carry most of the conversation, which I feel EXTREMELY bad about because she’s more introverted than I am (?)

Ironically, during the conversation she mentioned things she likes in dating (e.g. preferring the other person to take the lead), but during our hangout she was the one taking initiative the whole time because I completely froze.

I know. I’m such a loser. :’)

The frustrating part is that once I’m comfortable, I’m actually pretty playful, talkative, and the type to tease someone I like. I also enjoy taking care of people. I also ask a looot of questions because I’m genuinely curious. It’s just that I hope she doesn’t find me prying? I just want to get to know her better.

It’s just that….I just couldn’t show that side of myself yet.

She reassured me naman pero i don’t know…

Logically, I should take it as it is. Emotionally, I can’t stop thinking I ruined my chances by being too quiet.

Questions:

If you were in her position, would someone being obviously nervous on a first one-on-one hangout be a turn-off? Or would you just assume they’ll open up with time?

Any advice to stop me from overthinking as well? hahaha

Also, I’d really like to ask her out next time. Assuming there is one 💔, any low-pressure date ideas that make conversation feel more natural?

Or maybe invite her to drink (chillnuman) so I’d be less nervous?

I was planning on building legos with her! Problem is… not quite sure if she’s okay with that. I just want her to have fun as well.

Problem/Goal: Hii i’m 24F incoming 4th year college, and lowkey i’m struggling making group friends. Since high school i’ve been into small group of friends bale 2-4 lang kami. And isa lang din friend ko sa high school na until now may communication kami 😭

Context: My partner, unlike me may big circle of friends. Since 1st year college lagi nalang akong plus 1 sa gala nila. I can’t help na ma compare ko self ko sa partner ko. Marami na siyang na introduce sakin, eh ako mabibilang ko lang ilan na introduce ko sa kanya 🥲

Last year ko na sa college, late na ba ako? Para kasing lahat ng kakilala ko may structured friends na.

Problem/Goal:

hi, help your girly out please!! im F and i have zero experience sa sex and my first is gf ko. she's a versa, every time na we do it siya lagi ang top and ako ang bot kasi wala pa nga akong experience 🥹 but gusto ko ng mag top sa kaniya and hindi ko alam kung paano gagawin. can someone give me an advice how to f\*nger her, what are the movements i need to do to make her feel good and also how to eat her down there. i really really want her to enjoy the sx tuwing magkasama kami :((

Context:

one time, we did it and nag top ako. she teaches me how to f her. so ayon ginawa ko and idk if nasatisfy ba siya kasi ang bagal ko pa. and i tried ko eat her din but idk how do it 😭 BUT I REALLY REALLY WANT TO EAT HER i just don't know how and i don't know how to move my tongue down there.

PLS PLS HELP ME OUT HAAKSHAJHAJAHAHA😭✋🏻

for context, i'm 27 and my friends are trying to set me up with someone who is 23 years old. i've never met her but basically we're all from a similar circle, like it's come to that point in life (at least for me) that age doesn't matter anymore but not in a creepy gross way. just that i think when you reach a certain point in your twenties where 25+ is literally just 25+ and no more specifics.

so the thing is, i'm not sure if i should go on a date with her because of the age gap. i know the wlw community has a lot of brow-raising issues regarding this but i think this isn't too crazy naman...? i don't know. it's not comparable to 17 and 21 na 4-year age gap naman.

i think it's just a bit of a dilemma for me because ive only ever dated +-2 years my age, so literally just batchmates or a batch lower.

what are your thoughts?

Problem:
My partner and I have been intimately active for months now, and from the start, she always says that she prefers to "give", i just don't get the idea of how it's pleasurable as a receiver, kaya sometimes i wonder if satisfied ba sya after, to the point na started feeling very concerned about it.

Context:
there's one thing about her na i often wonder if legit ba talaga 🥲 it's because she eats me often (aside from other stuff like strapping, eto talaga main thing that she likes) sometimes even asks for it in advance for no reason. i'm just so curious as to what is it about 🐱 that makes her want to eat it often? i've tried to taste myself once and ok lang naman, nothing special. thing is, even if I squirt (which almost all the times na ineeat niya ako, she's that good 🥹), di sya nagsstop, siuslurp pa huhu 🥲

just earlier, kahit on my mens, she insisted to eat me, kahit na sinabi ko na baka mag-taste like metal or something since it's my 2nd day din so = very heavy flow. im just so so curious kung ano kayang reason like is it really that addicting? and talaga ba na may people na ok lang na giver sila and just eating? help me out please, deep inside kasi nagiging concern ko na sya if nasasatisfied ba talaga sya 🥲

My ex's birthday is over and I didn't greet her because I didn't want to break our two months of no contact. But the day after her birthday, she started posting indirect messages on her Instagram Notes, and the reels she liked and reposted were still about us—or about me coming back. One of the posts even said that she wished the plot twist would be me greeting her on her birthday. (We still follow each other on Instagram, by the way.)

I'll admit that I still think about her all the time, and I still miss her. But I keep stopping myself from reaching out because I wasn't the one who ended what we had. She’s the one who suddenly told me that she could no longer give me her love and time, and now she’s dropping hints that she still wants me to come back?

Whenever I remember the way she disrespected me, all the pain she caused comes rushing back.
To make things even more ironic, she celebrated her birthday here in my city and even booked an Airbnb near the area where I live. It honestly makes me laugh.

Everything that happened between us was the result of her own choices. I treated her well from the very beginning, even though we were in a long-distance relationship. Then, on a random Thursday night, she just decided to walk away. and let me go.

Sometimes I can't help but think that's what's so strange about this generation. When someone genuinely loves you, treats you well, and chooses you every single day, people push them away and leave. Then later, they're the ones posting self-pitying messages, acting as if we're the reason a good relationship ended, when they were the ones who let it go in the first place.

Problem: Hi! I just want other people's opinion on my past relationship and I don't really have other wlw friends to discuss this with. Looking back at my past relationship, I'm not sure if I was groomed.

Context: I was 19 when we met and she was 32. I know people are going to instantly raise their eyebrows when they hear about our age gap but I thought at that time that our circumstances made us different.

We met in 2022, it was pandemic so everything was online. We were in an online community for a specific game so ages really varied. We became close as a group first but eventually we got closer and started messaging privately. We chatted and called each other and I developed a crush on her. It was my first time to ever consider getting into a relationship so I knew I really liked her. I confessed to her and she told me that she liked me back. Matagal pa tho bago naging officially kami. I remember being pressured to make it official but I told her na I wasn't ready pa kasi it feels too fast, that I feel like we had issues pa that we need to fix before getting into a relationship (like I want us to be on the same wavelength moral and principle wise and also I was also really open that I was kind of hesitant because of our big age gap). We talked about it naman kind of?? Her approach was "wala akong pakialam sa sasabihin ng iba" and mine was "our circumstances justifies it— it makes us different".

We got into a relationship and it was all sunshine and butterflies. She looked young naman so people just assumed that we were around the same age. To be honest, our age gap still bothered me that time because every time may magtatanong I would just playfully brush it off kasi I don't want us to be judged. Other than that, people saw us as a perfect couple kasi they thought we really matched each other.

Our first problem was that she still lived with her parents in the province. She started working there when the pandemic hit kasi she decided to resign from her former job to stay with her family. The problem is that she did not have any control over her time kasi nga her employers are her parents and her source of income is dependent on them. The problem wasn’t really that she didn’t have time for me per se. It was more that, at 32, she still seemed to have very little control over her own life. I understood the work aspect since her parents were her employers, but it also felt like she still couldn’t make decisions for herself.

Another problem that I encountered with her was the way she communicated when we would argue. Considering our age gap, I expected na ako yung magiging immature. Pero every time we had a problem, ako yung kailangan magpaliwag sa kanya what went wrong at ako rin yung kailangan intindihin siya because of her traumas in her past relationships. Ang pinakamalaking problema ko pa with her is yung pagtry niya i-evade yung wrong na nagawa niya. She would just make palusot after palusot after palusot and when she couldn’t make any more excuses, that’s when she’d finally apologize tapos she will tell me "I said sorry na about that" when my emotions are already hurt and high. It really drove me crazyyyyyyyyyy.

She also did not appear to be bothered by our big age gap.. When asked about her age by my friends, sasabihin niya lang like it was normal tapos ako lang and my friends ang left uncomfortable. May history na rin siya with much younger girls. I remember may isa siyang ex na was underage (17) tapos nalaman niya lang na she was underage nung nagbirthday party yung ex niya tapos 18th birthday pala. Ang paliwanag niya sakin is she wasn't aware tapos nalaman niya nung sila na and 18 na yung girl.. Sometimes, naba-bother lang ako na she doesn't see anything wrong with our age gap like it doesn't bother her AT ALL. Paminsan, I would show her reddit posts about big age gap pero ang take away niya is not about the creepy age gap like she would just say sorry lang na she isn't financially independent pa like that's not really the issue hereeeeee. Tapos sometimes, I will bring it up tapos sasabihin niya lang "gusto mo na ba maghiwalay" instead of really discussing it with me. Of course I didn't want to break up at that time kasi I loved her. I guess I really just wanted to hear from her what makes us different from other big age gap couples that makes our relationship right.

Last na talaga kasi I don't think people would reach this part na because it's so haba na. In our three year relationship, mga kalahati dun, wala kaming sex life. There was an incident that made me so uncomfortable kaya never na ulit kaming nagsex. May isang beses na she was hinting to do it pero I wasn't really in the mood so I rejected her. She tried na pilitin ako pero I was firm na wala ako sa mood and ayaw ko. Instead of understanding me, nagtampo siya and kind of nagalit? Tapos she started masterbating beside me and it made me feel disgusting. Sinaway ko siya and told her how disrespectful that was. Tapos nagalit siya sa akin at sinabing I was controlling her na just because I didn't want to have sex doesn't mean na siya rin dapat. I explained na it was not about that, she can masterbate all she wants pero ang bastos lang na she would do it nang kita ko when I clearly told her na ayaw ko. I cried so hard nung time na yun because I felt so disrespected and disgusting tapos she kept on insisting pa na she did nothing wrong na it was normal to masterbate. Yes, I know it was normal pero it's not normal to do it in front of another person who clearly did not give her consent 😭

TL;DR: I was 19 when I got into a relationship with a 32-year-old woman I met online during the pandemic. We were together for three years, at the time, I believed our circumstances made our relationship different despite the age gap. Looking back, I’m questioning whether I was groomed.

Problem: I honestly don’t know how the incorporation of toys during sex works, since this is the first time my so and I are including it

Context: This is my first time ever having sex with toys (actually, hindi pa dumarating pero parating na today yung inorder namin). My so has experience pero I don’t, since first ko siya with women (I’ve only ever had 1 ex and lalaki pa 😭 though now na-confirm ko na talagang bading ako) and I tried watching lesbian porn for research pero parang wala naman ako natututunan. Sabi ko sa kanya, sabihin niya sakin paano at ano gagawin, pero I feel like I need to do my own research first para prepared din ako 😆

Ano ba dapat kong gawin? We’re planning to use a vib and a strap on, and to be honest excited ako and kinakabahan at the same time. Paano ba ang sex with toys? Paanong preparation gagawin ko? Anong gagawin ko during sex? What can I do to make it pleasurable for both of us? One way kami (receiver ako). HUHUHU HELP

UPDATE: Hindi dumating yung delivery 😭

Nag-mark yung rider na out for delivery 2 times since yesterday pweo walang attempt. Already filed a report huhuhu so frustrated and disappointed kasi excited pa man din ako dumating yung toys namin :( Naka-sched pa man din na gagawin namin today huhuhu. Ginawa na lanh namin without the toys for now hahahaha

Problem/Goal:

I'm looking for advice from people who've experienced a similar situation. My partner no longer initiates intimacy, and it's making me feel unwanted and undesirable. I've stopped initiating because the constant lack of reciprocation has hurt my confidence. How do you deal with this? Is this something that can be worked through?

Context:

I (26F) and my partner (30F) have been together for over two years and are approaching our third anniversary. Like any couple, we've had our ups and downs, but we've always managed to resolve our disagreements.

During the first few months of our relationship, we had a very active sex life. Whenever I visited her (usually once a week), I'd even mentally prepare myself because I knew we'd probably be intimate.

As our relationship progressed, though, our sex life gradually faded. There was even a two-month period when we lived together, and for the first two weeks, nothing physical happened at all.

Now, she rarely—if ever—initiates intimacy. I know sex isn't everything in a relationship, but I think everyone wants to feel desired by their partner. I don't feel that anymore.

I'll still pleasure her because I genuinely want to, but she rarely reciprocates. Over time, I've stopped wanting to initiate because every rejection—or lack of enthusiasm—chips away at my confidence.

At this point, I've decided to stop initiating altogether. I'm tired of feeling undesirable. If she doesn't want that kind of intimacy with me, I don't know what else I can do.

TL;DR: My girlfriend and I have been together for over two years. Our sex life has gone from very active to almost nonexistent. She never initiates and rarely reciprocates, which has left me feeling unwanted. I've stopped initiating because I'm tired of feeling rejected, and I'm looking for advice from people who've been in a similar situation.