r/WLW_PH

The problem:
I’ve actually started faking orgasms sometimes because I don’t want her to worry or feel like she’s doing something wrong. She already gets anxious about whether she’s performing well, and I don’t want her to think that I’m not enjoying sex or that I’m not attracted to her.

Context:

Hi! I’m 21F and currently in the honeymoon phase with my girlfriend (20F).

I’ve been single my whole life before this relationship, so I basically had no experience with sex with another woman. Most of what I knew about sex came from reading smut, watching porn, and figuring out what I liked on my own. When I was single, I could take care of my own needs and orgasm without much difficulty.

My girlfriend is more experienced than me. She had two exes before me, although she told me that in both relationships, she was basically forced into being the bottom and didn’t really have a choice in the matter. So now that we’re together, our dynamic is pretty different. Since I’m inexperienced, she’s usually the one taking the lead, and she’s also relatively new to being the top.

She’s actually really attentive and careful with me. She always asks whether I’m comfortable, pays attention to what I like, and worries a lot about whether she’s doing a good job. She always asks me whether “she’s magaling maminger/kumain” because she’s still learning and doesn’t have much experience in this role.

And she is!! I get really aroused when we’re together, and everything feels good. She knows how to make me more aroused. I have no problem getting turned on or lubricated enough that we don’t need no lube anymore, and I genuinely enjoy the experience. I’m attracted to her, I feel safe with her, and I definitely feel pleasure.

But even so, I still don’t orgasm.

I can orgasm when I’m alone, even sometimes when I’m not particularly aroused enough, so I know that my body is capable of it. But whenever we have sex, I can get really close or feel really good, but I just can’t seem to reach climax.

And to make matters worse, I’ve actually faked orgasms a few times because I don’t want her to worry too much. She already gets anxious about whether she’s doing a good job, and I know she sometimes takes it personally when she thinks I’m not enjoying myself. So instead of telling her that I haven’t actually climaxed, I’ve pretended that I did just so she wouldn’t overthink it. But I know she’s suspecting me of faking it because she’s always asking me.

I know that probably isn’t the healthiest thing to do, and I’m starting to feel guilty about it because I don’t want to build our sex life around something that isn’t true. I genuinely don’t want her to think that she’s bad at sex, because she isn’t. I enjoy being intimate with her, I’m attracted to her, and the sex feels good.

I’ve also done a little searching and came across the term “situational anorgasmia.” I’m wondering if that could be what I’m experiencing.

So I guess my questions are:

How do I tell my girlfriend that I’ve been faking orgasms without making her feel inadequate or like she’s bad at sex?
Should I just stop focusing on whether I orgasm during sex and let things develop naturally?

I’d especially appreciate advice from other lesbians/sapphics who have experienced something similar. Badly need please, jebal. I really love my partner so much.

I rarely see WLW describe themselves as Hard Femme, so I’m genuinely curious—are there others here who use that label for themselves too? Because I do. 😂

For me, being a Hard Femme isn’t just about how I dress or present myself. I’m definitely femme, and I enjoy looking feminine, dressing up, and embracing that side of myself. But I’ve also always had a very tomboyish side that doesn’t necessarily fit the typical image of a femme.

I actually like a lot of “guy stuff.” 😂 I’m into things that are stereotypically associated with men, and sometimes the way I think, approach situations, or interact with people feels more traditionally masculine. I can be straightforward, practical, competitive, independent, and sometimes I honestly feel like my brain works more like a guy’s. Lol.

I’m also comfortable dressing masculine sometimes. There are days when I’d rather wear something loose, simple, and more traditionally masculine than put on a dress or anything super feminine. But that doesn’t make me feel like I’m masc. I still identify strongly as femme.

I think that’s what makes Hard Femme feel like it fits me. I can enjoy being girly and feminine, but I can also be a tomboy, have masculine interests, think in a more traditionally masculine way, and occasionally dress masculine—without feeling like I need to choose between those sides.

For me, it’s basically femme with a little dude energy. 😂 I like having that contrast because neither side feels fake or forced. They’re both genuinely part of who I am.

So I’m curious—are there other WLW who feel the same way? Do you consider yourself a Hard Femme? How would you describe your personality, interests, style, or way of thinking, and what made you realize the label fits you? 👀

Problem: Is it normal or okay with you guys when your girlfriend is posting thirst traps?

Context: My gf is posting her thirst trap beside me and i am bothered, shes even not cuddling with me or kissing me back. I hope to get a reassurance from her but i feel shy to reach out. Is it me and my insecurities or is it my girlfriend?

problem/goal: I’m 28F and I’ve been with my partner, 33F, for 5 years. We’re both femme, although mas soft/feminine lang talaga ako compared to her. She’s not really masc, just less feminine than me.

We lived together for the first 2 years of our relationship. Eventually, umuwi ako sa family ko after my dad passed away kasi sobrang na-stress ako mag-isa sa apartment. She works in an office, while I was WFH at that time.

A huge part ng relationship namin has always been her family situation.

Three silang magkakapatid, all working and earning, pero somehow laging may financial problem. Their mom handles the money, and kapag wala kang maibigay or hindi enough yung contribution mo, ipaparamdam sa’yo na wala kang kwenta or ungrateful ka.

Their financial situation got even worse after their grandparents died around 3 years ago. Nagkaroon sila ng debts, then nagkasakit yung mom, na-hospital, may medications, etc. I genuinely understand wanting to provide for your parents and family. I really do.

Pero the problem is, this has been going on for years.

I grew up very differently. Hindi kami mayaman, pero sobrang practical ng family ko when it comes to money. Hindi kami pinalaki sa luho. We were taught to save, spend wisely, and live within our means.

So hindi ko maiwasan mag-compare minsan.

Especially because I’ve seen how their family handled money before. They had more freedom financially, gastos dito, gastos doon, laging may extra. Then after their grandparents died, nagkautang-utang sila and until now hindi pa rin sila makabangon.

Eventually, my partner couldn’t really contribute financially sa rs namin anymore because almost all of her income was going to her family.

When we were living together, ako yung sumasalo sa rent, groceries, bills, etc. Since WFH ako and she was working in an office, ako rin mostly gumagawa ng housework because she’d come home exhausted.

And since wala na rin siyang natitira, there were times na ako rin sumasalo sa expenses niya for work dahil di ko rin matiis na papasok syang wala.

Eventually, I felt like I wasn’t getting a partner anymore.

Emotionally, sexually, financially, parang wala na. Para na lang kaming room mate.

And I was getting really tired of carrying double the expenses and double the responsibilities.

That’s when I realized na tama lang na umuwi ako sa amin. Kasi nauubos talaga ako.

I was also too understanding before.

There were times na ako pa nagsasabi sa kanya na wag na siyang gumastos sakin because I knew she had nothing and needed the money for herself. I even helped her family financially. Umabot sa point na nangutang sakin yung mom niya and sister niya, and I didn’t say no because I knew how bad their situation was.

Pero eventually, parang naging cycle na siya.

She would always tell me na babawi siya, and I just had to wait until things get better.

And I did.

For years.

Now, mas okay na kami since hindi na kami living together. She comes over every weekend kapag off niya. Mas bihira na rin kami mag-away. Slowly, nakakabawi na rin siya. Nakakalabas kami, may mga napoprovide na rin siya, and hindi na necessarily ako yung gumagastos for everything.

But something changed in me.

I started setting boundaries.

Before, if she couldn’t afford something, I’d just cover it. Now, I’m like, you need to meet me halfway. If kailangan mong mangutang para magawa mo yung part mo sa relationship, honestly, hindi ko na problema yun. I’m not going to ask where you’ll get the money. I just need to see that you’re making an effort.

And I’ve stopped overextending myself.

I’m also starting to invest more in myself.

I bought a lot last year. She got hurt because she said she’d eventually split it with me once she’s financially stable.

I said no.

I want this for myself.

I want to have something that I know I secured for me.

Because honestly, ang hirap makita na parang wala siyang concrete plan for herself. OR, for us.

I have so many things I want to do. So many things I want to achieve. And I don’t want to spend another 5 years just waiting for things to get better.

The hardest part is, I don’t think I love her as deeply as I used to.

Mahal ko pa rin siya. I care about her. But it’s not the same anymore.

And ang hirap mag-let go kasi ayaw niya rin.

She also has suicidal thoughts, and honestly, that's another thing that makes leaving so fucking hard. I’ve already told her na hindi niya pwedeng gamitin yun to scare me or make me feel responsible for staying, pero siyempre hindi naman ganun kadali na wala akong pakialam.

I know it’s not a healthy reason to stay.

But I feel guilty.

I feel like I’m stuck in the same cycle.

Five years na. Paulit-ulit. Things get better for a while, then may bagong family crisis, then back to waiting again.

And now I’m starting to wonder if there’s even a future for us.

There’s also another huge issue.

I’ve always wanted a child.

From the very beginning of our relationship, alam na niya yun. I don’t mean adoption. I want to experience pregnancy and have a biological child of my own.

I honestly don’t know yet what options are available or affordable if I want to do that without having sex with a man. I know there are medical options, but I haven’t really researched the process and costs yet.

And honestly, if having sex with a man is the only realistic option for me to have my own biological child, I’m open to it.

I know that’s a huge thing, and I understand why my partner is completely against it. She’s very firm na she could never accept me doing that.

But that conversation made me realize how different our visions for the future are. At this point, parang mas gusto ko na lang magkaanak kaysa magpatuloy sa ganitong relationship.

I feel like I have so much love to give to a child.

And I’m scared na if I stay for another 5 years, masasayang lang yung time ko and I’ll eventually regret not choosing the life I actually wanted.

I don’t know.

Maybe I’m being selfish. Maybe I’m impatient. Maybe I’m just being unrealistic.

I genuinely don’t know.

Open to feedback. Positive, negative, whatever, I'll take it. I'm seriously confused.

Problem/Goal: Pag ba inaasar kayo ng mga friends nyo for example naka mio, or about sa pang tomboy na jokes minsan ba napipikon or nahuhurt pa rin kayo.

Context: Pag mag mga ganyang kwentuhan kasi, lalakas ng mga tawa nila tapos parang feeling ko its an attack na sakin. Pikon lang ba ako or masyado lang ako senstive na dapat ipagsawalang bahala ko na lang?

Problem / Goal: I found out my gf lied to me from the beginning like everything she told me.

Context: 

So this is probably one of the weirdest and most emotionally confusing situations I’ve ever been in, and I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.

I’m a girl, and I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 months. We met earlier this year and started dating after about a month. I genuinely fell for her. I got attached to her, her personality, our conversations, everything. I thought I knew who I was in love with.

For almost 6 months, I kept asking her if we could do a video call, pero lagi siyang may reason. Sometimes she would say na insecure siya sa eyes niya or nahihiya siya. And honestly, hinayaan ko lang. I guess nagpadala ako sa mga matatamis niyang salita and sa way niya ako tratuhin. I was already emotionally attached, so I didn't push the issue as much as I probably should have.

I know some people might immediately think, “Baka scammer yan.” But the weird thing is, she never asked me for money. Not even once.

In fact, siya pa yung willing gumastos for me. She would always insist na siya na mag-order ng food for me, and most of the time tinatanggihan ko talaga sya. So I never really had that feeling na she's trying to get something financially from me. That's probably also why I didn't think the situation was something more serious.

Then recently, I found out that she had been using another woman's identity.

As in, the name, photos, and parts of this other woman's identity were being used as if they belonged to my girlfriend.

Obviously, I was devastated. I felt betrayed and started questioning basically everything about our relationship. What was real? What parts of her stories were real? Did I actually know the person I had been dating?

But here's the part that I can't really explain. I found the real woman whose identity had been used.

And instead of only feeling angry about what happened, I started becoming curious about her. Then that curiosity turned into something else.

I started looking at her account and wondering what she was actually like. Not the version of her that I had unknowingly been introduced to, but the actual person.

And now I feel like I'm yearning for someone I've never even met.

It's so weird because this woman has done absolutely nothing to me. She doesn't know me. She doesn't know what happened. She doesn't know that someone used her identity, and she definitely doesn't know that I'm sitting here wondering what it would have been like if I had met her normally.

I've caught myself thinking things like, What if I had met her first?

What if I had just come across her account naturally and thought she seemed cool? What if I had asked for her Instagram? What if we became friends? Would I have liked her? Would she have liked me?

I know I'm probably romanticizing a stranger because I don't actually know her. I only know what I can see online. I don't know her personality, her flaws, how she treats people, or whether we'd even get along. Pero somehow, after finding out that the person I loved wasn't who I thought she was, I started wanting to know the person whose identity had been taken. And that makes me feel incredibly guilty and confused because I still have feelings for my girlfriend.

I don't think I suddenly stopped loving her. That's what makes this so difficult. I feel like I'm attached to the person I thought she was, while at the same time I'm curious about the real woman behind the identity.

Part of me wonders if I'm actually yearning for the real girl, or if I'm yearning for the version of my relationship that I thought I had. Maybe I'm just trying to find something real after realizing that so much of what I believed was based on a lie.

I've even thought about messaging the real woman just to say hi and maybe become friends. But I don't know if that's completely inappropriate or if I'm just acting on my emotions right now. I don't want to make her uncomfortable or drag her into my relationship drama. She never asked to be part of any of this.

At the same time, there's this part of me that keeps thinking, I wish I had met her naturally. Not because I think she owes me anything. I just wonder what it would have been like to meet the real person instead of falling in love with someone who was pretending to be her.

And honestly, that's probably the part I struggle with the most. I don't know if I miss her, because I never knew her. Maybe I miss the possibility of her. Maybe I miss the person I thought I was loving. Or maybe I'm just trying to hold onto something real after finding out that the person I loved had been living behind someone else's identity.

I genuinely don't know. So I'm posting here because I need some outside perspective.

Would you consider this a normal reaction after discovering something like this, or am I projecting all of my feelings onto someone I don't actually know?

And would messaging the real woman just to introduce myself and maybe become friends be crossing a line?

PS. This is actually my first wlw relationship so I'm just really messed up right now. I can't even work properly thinking bout this. And I know it's just 5 months and madali lang mag move on pero yung malaman mong niloko ka parang nakakabaliw na ang hirap paniwalaan kasi sobrang galing nya mag kwento na never ko sya nakitaan na may mali maliban lang sa video call. So yeah, I'm so stupid to fell in love with a girl na hanggang calls lang ang ginawa.

I first noticed her during the second semester of our first year of nursing school. I thought she was attractive and interesting, and somehow I developed this quiet crush on her. We never actually talked.
The funny part is, she eventually found out that I liked her because someone snitched on me. 😭 So she knew that i like her even though we weren’t friends.

Then third year came, and somehow we became classmates. You’d think that would finally give me the courage to talk to her. Nope. I ignored her. Not because I didn’t like her. It was literally because I liked her too much I couldn’t even look her straight in the eyes.

Ironically, I became friends with her friends. I could talk to them normally, joke around with them, and hang out with them, but whenever she was around, I suddenly forgot how to function.

Then we were sent to Cebu for our psychiatric nursing clinical exposure, where she ended up being one of my roommates.

And the funniest part? We were assigned to the same bunk bed. I was on the upper bunk, and she was on the lower bunk. Yes. Her. The girl I’d had a crush on for years. The girl I couldn’t even look straight in the eyes. Now I literally had to sleep directly above her. 😭

It was SO awkward at first. I didn’t know where to look, how to act, or what to say. Every little thing felt embarrassing because I was painfully aware that she was literally right underneath me. This was supposed to be my chance to finally talk to her. Instead, I was probably more awkward than ever.

At one point, she apparently told her friends that she felt out of place. My roommates felt bad for her, so they started making an effort to become friends with her. Meanwhile, I was still there, on the upper bunk, avoiding her like my life depended on it. 😭

And this is where one of my friends basically gaslighted me into interacting with her. She kept pushing me to talk to her because I was clearly too scared to do it myself. After what felt like countless attempts, I finally approached her and said sorry. I still remember how many attempts it took just for me to finally say something to this girl.

Eventually, my roommates started figuring out that I liked her. And the funny thing is, I never told them. Nobody snitched on me this time. They just figured it out from my actions. 😭 I guess I wasn’t as subtle as I thought I was. The awkwardness, the nervousness, the way I acted around her, probably the way I suddenly became hyper-aware of everything she did… apparently it was enough for them to connect the dots. Meanwhile, I was probably still convincing myself that I was being completely normal. Spoiler: I was not.
But somehow, those three weeks changed everything. We became close. We started talking about random things, then personal things, and eventually secrets. I shared some of mine with her, and she trusted me enough to share hers with me too.

And that’s when something changed for me. Before Cebu, I think I was mostly in love with the idea of her because I barely knew her. But after those three weeks, I actually got to know her. And somehow, I liked her even more.

Then, during our second week in Cebu, something happened that I still think about. It was a random Sunday night. The three of us were lying on my friend’s bed: me, the friend who had been forcing me to interact with her, and the girl I’d liked for years.

Somehow, the conversation turned personal, and I ended up admitting that I had liked her before. I don’t even remember exactly how the conversation got there. I just remember saying:

“I may admire you and everything, but I will never shoot my shot.”

And honestly, that line has stayed with me. She already knew I’d liked her back in first year because someone had snitched on me, so it wasn’t exactly a secret anymore. But I don’t know if she understood that I might still have feelings for her.

I didn’t say, “I still like you.” I didn’t say, “I’ve liked you for three years.” I just said I admired her and that I would never make a move.

Looking back, I think that was probably the closest I could get to confessing without actually putting myself completely out there. And the irony is that I said “I will never shoot my shot” while sitting right beside the girl I’d been crushing on for three years.

I still don’t know what she thought when I said it.

There were also little moments that stayed with me. She once told me, “I’m gonna miss your scent.” Another time, she smelled something and said, “This smells like you.”

And then came our last day in Cebu. We were at the port saying goodbye. I was hugging my other roommates, one by one. Apparently, she was waiting for me to turn around so she could hug me too. I didn’t even realize she was waiting. When I finally turned around, she hugged me.

It was such a simple thing, but for someone I’d liked for three years, that moment stayed with me. Maybe it was just a goodbye hug between friends. Maybe it meant something more. I honestly don’t know.

I’ve always felt some kind of tension between us, but because I’d already liked her for so long, I kept wondering if I was just imagining it.

Then came another plot twist.

That same friend who had been pushing me to interact with her eventually told me that the girl I liked had told her that she had feelings for me too.

And honestly, that made everything even more confusing. Because suddenly I started wondering if all those little moments actually meant something. Was the tension real? Did she actually like me? Was I just imagining everything because I’d liked her for so long?

I genuinely don’t know.

But there’s another part of the story. While we were in Cebu, she would sometimes talk about another girl. This was someone she had developed feelings for during her senior year of high school, and she was still very vocal about her. At one point, while we were roommates, she even said that she missed her.

And hearing that while I was literally sleeping on the bunk above her was… complicated. 😭 Because here I was, secretly liking this girl for three years, finally getting close to her, sharing secrets with her, and having all these little moments that made me wonder if there was something between us.

But at the same time, I knew there was someone else she had been carrying feelings for since high school. So even if she did have feelings for me, I knew that didn’t necessarily mean she was ready for anything with me.

We’re now in our final year of nursing school, and I still like her. A lot.

I’ve liked her for three years. At this point, I don’t think I can simply tell myself to stop feeling something. But I also don’t want to spend another few years holding onto a possibility.

So I’ve been thinking about writing her a letter at the end of our final semester.

I want to tell her everything. That I’ve liked her since first year. That she already knew about it before we even became friends. That I was so nervous around her that I couldn’t even look her in the eyes. That I still remember all the attempts it took just for me to finally say something to her. That our trip to Cebu unexpectedly gave me the chance to actually know her. That those three weeks meant much more to me than she probably realized. That I appreciated every secret she trusted me with and every little moment we shared. And that I’m grateful that after three years of having a crush on her, I eventually got to call her my friend.

I’m not planning to write the letter to make her choose me. I’m not expecting anything from her. I just want her to know that she mattered to me.

After that, I think I need to step back and finally let myself move on.

Not because I’m angry. Not because I resent her. And definitely not because I think she owes me anything.

I just think sometimes someone can mean so much to you without necessarily becoming your person.

Maybe she did have feelings for me. Maybe she didn’t. Maybe whatever she felt was complicated by what she already felt for someone else. Maybe I’ll never really know.

But I do know that I spent three years liking this girl from afar, and somehow, I eventually got the chance to actually know her.

And I’m grateful for that.

Maybe she won’t be my love story.

But she became part of my story.

And maybe that’s enough.

Problem/Goal: I need fragrance recommendations

I’m looking for fragrance recommendations and would love your input on building a small rotation. For context, I’m a masculine-presenting lesbian, so I prefer traditionally masculine, fresh, clean, or woodier scents.

Here is the list of products in mind:
- Eros EDT
- Eros EDP
- Homme EDT
- Eros Flame EDP
- Dior Sauvage EDP
- Dior Sauvage EDT
- C-K Be EDT
- ROCK'N'ROME
- Chanel EDP
- Cool Water EDT
- CK Eternity EDT
- Lacoste Green EDT
- Lacoste White EDP
- Coach New York Gold
- Najim Pour Femme
- Terre D'hermes
- Lacoste Pour Elle
- Coach New York EDP
- 1 Million Black EDT
- ACQUA DI GIO EDT
- Soleil Blanc EDP
- Rose Exposed EDP
- Lost Cherry
- Aventus EDP
- Sauvage Eau Forte
- Aventus Cologne EDP
- Creed Silver EDP
- Million Prive
- C-K One EDT
- Eros Pour Femme
- Dior Sauvage Elixir
- D&G Italian Love
- RIVA SOLARE
- Chanel EDT
- Jazz Club
- By The Fireplace

I’m hoping to find options for four specific occasions. For everyday and school use, I need something clean and versatile that isn't overpowering in a classroom. For the gym and active days, I want a light, fresh, or citrusy fragrance that holds up well without getting cloying in the heat. For casual hangouts with friends, I'd like an easygoing, modern scent. Finally, for special events or date nights (if I'm being in the dating scene haha), I'm looking for something richer, woodier, or warmer with a bit more presence.

Which fragrances would you recommend picking up for these categories? Any suggestions on what to grab or what to avoid would be super helpful!

problem/goal: as the title states

hi! my gf and i have been dating for a couple months, we're both college students. recently since classes started again, we're not talking as much. and it wasn't a point of concern at first, seeing that sophomores na kame and it can get pretty hectic. kaso its gotten to the point that we only ever talk if shes updating me then she disappears again, even if her classes are done. i try to have a conversation with her when we're both free but she also takes much longer to reply. when i dont text first, she wont initiate conversation. sometimes i wonder if di ako magsabi na magdate kami, she wont initiate that either.

i trust her completely, i dont think naman this is a cheating issue. i just feel like like shes not as interested anymore, and that thought is getting to me a lot more than i want to admit. has anyone gone through this? please help a girl out 🫠 i really like her and i dont want to ruin things between us because of my insecurity

Problem/Goal:  Anyone else here around 30 who actually wants to date, but really doesn’t wanna use dating apps? 😭

Context: I think I still prefer meeting someone organically, but honestly… how do you even do that anymore? 😂 It’s already hard enough to spot if someone is into girls without accidentally assuming, and I feel like it was easier when I was in college because there were already little queer communities where you could meet people.

Now that I’m in my 30s, it feels like everyone is busy with work, life, responsibilities, etc. And even if you do meet someone, finding a person you actually vibe with and who matches your beliefs, values, and goals feels even harder.

Maybe I’m just overthinking it, but dating in your 30s feels like a completely different game. 😭

For those of you in your late 20s/30s, how are you guys meeting people? Do you still believe in organic encounters, or did you eventually give in to dating apps? 😂

problem/goal: is it okay to approach a girl na nakikita ko lang sa workplace niya?

context: so there's this place i frequent and may girl na nagwowork dun. i find her cute and ganda din ng smile nya. basta di ko lang namalayan one day i passed by her and late nag-register nag-hi pala sya so paglingon ko nakangiti siya sakin and nag-skip a beat yung heart ko haha. couldn't stop thinking about it for days. kaya ayun mas napadalas yung pagtambay ko dun, timing din kasi review ko for boards so parang pang-motivation ko lang sana. kaso as timed passed by, parang gusto ko siya makilala more.

but the thing is malapit na board exam ko and after that wala na reason for me tumambay a lot dun so i won't get to see her that much anymore. i keep thinking pano siya i approach but i get na it's weird to ask out people while nasa work sila. parang i feel na weird din na antayin end ng shift niya hahaha anyway yun i wanna ask, is it okay to approach her? di ko alam kung i-aapproach ko ba sya or not and just let this feelings die down. or is there a way that i can where it won't come off as uncomfy sa part niya?

p.s. yes she's gay.

Problem: Suggestions naman jan mga mare, yung nakakalibog hahaha

Context: May ganap kasi kami ni jowa e gusto namin manood muna ng movie baka meron kayo mairereco, movie lang ha hindi series. Thank you guys.

I can't add any details na haha di pa ba ako nakaka 300 character mygaaaaaad!! 😆

Basta ayun lang guys, thank you so muuuuuch!!

Problem/ goal:partner still having in touch with her exes

context:seeking advice lang, di ko na kasi alam what to do. i have partner bago lang naman 1yr and half (pero ganito na effect nya sakin.) I have partner les. first wlw experience ko s'ya met her on college. i stop her at first kasi straight fem ako baka di ako sure about my feelings towards her, fast forward i end up having feelings with her too.. she courted me, everything is smooth not until one night may tumawag sa no. ko (konti lang nakaka alam ng no. ko family and trusted friends and sya lang.) had multiple missed calls then someone texted me, nag pakilala na gf nya. di ko alam mararamdaman that time. di ko alam nakasira bako ng relationship or what, gusto ko ng explanation kaya sabi ko sa partner ko, tell me everything. she told me ex nya yun. pero may anak yung ex nya and sya yung parang father nung anak ng ex nya, (the girl cheated on her with her friend.) i told her to fix it first bago sya bumalik. akala ko nung una kaya ko tanggapin na ganun yung set up. pero parang niloko ko lang sarili ko, i saw her na kinukuha anak ng ex nya dinadala sa bahay, hindi ako legal sa side nya. pero nilaban ko sya sa fam ko. reason nya why di pa nya ko pina kikilala is iniintay nya yun mom nya maka uwi from abroad, so okay, i will wait... fast forward last June to July umuwi yung kapatid ng ex nya, nandoon sya, akala ko nasa work sya... pero ewan siguro tama talaga yung guts feeling ng mga babae. I saw her in one of the live nag iinom sa bahay ng ex nya, marami naman sila. but still she lied. di ko alam yung gagawin ko. last week parang sumuko nalang bigla yung pag katao ko, kasi gusto ko mag move forward kami eh, I give enough love, support and care naman pero di ko alam why kailangan yunh past kasama parin namin sa present nya. ldr kami i broke up with her last week pero lumuwas sya bigla, i told her na bakit kung kelan sumusuko nako saka nya gustong ayusin. she's nice girl, gusto sya ng family ko. it just di ko alam kung sobrang bait nya lang ba or what. then this week lang she go on a birthday party, sabi nya friend nya lang. pero i knew it was her ex. ilang ulit ko tinanong, she always told me na why i keep digging on her past, the point na past mo na nga eh why nandyan pa? you're friend with your ex and sasabihin mo lang sakin friend mo? then her ex posted thank you message sa mag nag punta, pinag luto nya yun ex nya, may nag comment teasing my partner sa ex nya.

di ko na alam yung gagawin ko, I do love her, pero yung family nya gusto rin yung anak ng ex nya. di ko alam saan ako lulugar, hindi ko pa kaya tanggapin yung ganun set up. i might be really selfish, mali ba? when i just want to move forward na wala na yung mga ex\ past relationship nyang involve. her mom told her if we can keep the child of her ex. 3yrs old na yung bata. ang hirap ng set up, naiiyak nalang ako kasi ilang ulit man namin pag talunan she can't let go kahit ilang beses ako mag open up sa kanya, she will insist bata lang yun. pero nung birthday ng mom ko her ex was calling her. hindi ko sinagot pero nagulat ako the way they chatted same way how she make a conversation with me. it all started nung dec when i caught her having conversation with her ex. nag se-sent ng picture yung ex nya. worst it was Christmas. hanggang sa lagi nalang ganun, na build up na yung white lies but i never lie or hide anything sa kanya. di ko alam kung masama ba talaga na gugustuhin ko i let go nya yung child ng ex nya. i don't wanf her to have responsibility towards her ex. nasasaktan ako everytime pero she still go parin maman. ang hirap kasi first wlw ko to pero ako yung lagi nag a-adjust kahit ako yung gf

Combo talaga yung ulan, not feeling well and ang daming nangyayari - parang gusto mo na lang bigla ng girlfriend na lalambingin at maglalambing.

Nakakamiss ang hawak sa bewang at backhugs. But, more than physical touch its the safe and warm presence. Minsan you have so much love to give. Minsan you just want someone to talk about your day, to yap and cry. Someone you can get kengkoy with without judgment hahaha. Someone na gagawin ang mga bagay kasi inaalala ka nya.

30s at its finest. Emotions might be pouring today but tomorrow magsesettle din and go with the trajectory of life again. Baka bukas, mas payapa na. Ikwento na lang kaysa mag act upon anything.

Nawa maganda ang blankets nyo. Mag invest sa malambot na blankets.

Context:
I (25, Fem) met this girl (25, Fem) through a mutual friend a few months ago, and at first, wala talaga akong expectation na magiging ganito kami ka-close. We just clicked. Same humor, maraming similarities, and ang dali niyang kausap. Eventually, naging comfortable ako sa kanya enough to open up about personal stuff, including the fact na I've always been more attracted to mascs. I've never really been sure about my sexuality though, kasi I've never been in a relationship before and I've never really had to question it this much.

At some point, she confessed na she was becoming attached to me and that her feelings were becoming more than friendship. I was honestly surprised because I didn't see it coming. I told her na hindi ako sure if I could reciprocate what she feels, but despite that, we stayed close.

Eventually, our friendship became more intimate and we crossed that line between friendship and something more. It happened more than once and eventually became part of our dynamic. But what confuses me is that I don't think it was purely physical for me. We became emotionally close too. We talk almost every day, call each other a lot, have endearments for each other, and she's someone I genuinely feel comfortable and safe with. I actually enjoy having her around.

Now we're in different places and don't see each other as often, but we're still very close and constantly communicate.

And here's my problem:

I genuinely don't know what I feel for her.

I know I care about her. I miss her when she's not around. I enjoy talking to her and spending time with her, and the thought of completely losing her from my life actually bothers me. But there are also times when I get overwhelmed by how much attention she wants from me. I'm very used to being on my own, so sometimes I just want my own space and don't feel like talking to anyone. There are even times when I only want to talk to her when I feel like talking.

That's what makes me question everything. Am I actually developing romantic feelings for her, or am I just really attached to the attention, affection, comfort, and sense of safety she gives me?

I also don't think it's simply lust. If it were just physical, I don't think I'd still want her in my life if we completely removed that part of our relationship. But at the same time, I can't confidently say, "I want to be in a relationship with her." And that's the part that scares me because I don't want to give her false hope just because I like having her around.

Another thing that's honestly making this harder for me is the thought of what happens if I actually give her a chance. I don't even know how I would come out to my family or even to our circle of friends. Our friends know us as really close friends, so the thought of suddenly telling them that we're actually together feels... scary and overwhelming. I'm not even sure how my family would react, and since I've never been in a relationship before, I don't know how to navigate all of that either. So sometimes I wonder if part of my hesitation is really about my feelings for her, or if I'm also scared of everything that would come with actually being with a woman

My goal:

I want to figure out what I'm actually feeling before I make any decisions about us. I don't want to force myself to call it love just because she has feelings for me, but I also don't want to dismiss my feelings just because I'm confused and inexperienced.

For the WLW here, especially those who were also confused about their sexuality or had their first serious emotional connection with a woman: how did you know that you actually liked the person romantically and weren't just attached to the way they made you feel? What was the difference for you between "I love being loved by this person" and "I actually want this person romantically"?

Problem/Goal: Financial boundaries with gf

Context: I (29F) have a gf(28f) for 10 months. I have been in thinking if normal paba itong sitwasyon ko.I'm earning 110k/mo, she's earning around 28k/mo. Wala naman akong problema sometimes when ako gagastos kasi nga given the income gap. Ngayon kasi, it feels something is wrong sa setup namin, kahit sya ung nag-aaya na gumala, she is expecting me to pay. From fare, to food, to activities. No problem naman sakin if kunyari ako ung may gusto kumain sa ganito, so syempre libre ko. pero ung Dinala mo ako sa isang lugar tas ako gagastos. Like naququestion mark ung utak ko minsan, it just does not make sense to me, pero hindi ko din matanggihan dahil mahal ko sya.

Previous attempts address the problem: I asked her once if she expects me to pay for everything, she said no. but still does otherwise. so Im a bit confused. Whenever I insist naman na sya magbayad kasi sya naginvite, naooff sya na para daw bang hindi ko sya gf. and mas malaki sweldo ko daw kaya ako daw magbayad, pabiro nya to sinasabi, pero since hindi nya binabawi, feel ko totoo. for further context naman: kahit malaki sahod ko, nagsusupport ako ng pamilya, nagpapaaral ng kapatid, may sarili akong bahay na tinitirahan at minimaintain(sometimes nakikitira din sya dito ng walang contribution btw). while sya walang reponsibilidad. kaya mas nakakabili pa sya ng wants nya vs me, lahat ng pera ko may nakatoka na san pupunta.

Now im asking if its normal for me to pay for everything? just because I earn a lot more? and if ikaw ang nasa sitwasyon ko, what would you do?

Problem: Pano ko sabihin na nahihirapan na ako..

Context: Matagal nang walang work yung gf ko. Although may sidelines naman siya pero madalang. Nahihirapan din siya maghanap ng work. Ako naman may stable job na saks lang sweldo kasi may kailangan din akong bayarin at para sa pamilya ko rin. Pero naiipit ko pa naman para sa kanya. Tinutulungan ko siya sa mga kailangan niya kasi understandable wala siyang work. Kaso these days nahihirapan na rin ako. Gusto ko rin mag ipon para sa sarili ko. Mahal ko parin naman siya and alam ko namang she's trying her best para makahanap ng trabaho. Pero more than a year na rin kasi na ganito yung setup. Im afraid this will strain our relationship. But breaking up with her dahil lang sa ganyang rason is the last thing on my head.

Problem: We've been doing the deed less since we started living together. How do you approach it when your sex drives don't match? Should I try to spice things up? Or should I adjust nalang and find ways to lower my sex drive?

Context: Akala ko mataaas ang sex drive ng mga trentahin hahaha. When we started dating, I thought mas mataas sex drive ng partner ko (29) kesa sakin (26). Nagulat nga ako we had a week na parang 5 times kaming naging intimate hahaha.

But I was wrong. Mas mataas pala ang sex drive ko compared to hers. When my partner and I started living together, we started doing the deed less. Hindi ko magets. No matter how flirty we were throughout the day, with the touches, manyakan, and all, pagdating ng gabi she's not in the mood.

Kaya ko naman mameet yung sexual needs ko alone, matagal naman akong naging single. Kaso I've been having a hard time kasi I can't do it myself (yk alone) since we live together. Medyo nafu-frustrate lang ako.

I communicated this to her. Nung una tinatanong ko siya, bakit parang hindi na kami masyadong nagse-sex. Sabi niya mainit daw kasi hahaha. Wala pa kaming aircon. I used to believe this reason kasi mainit naman talaga last month.

Kaso cuddle weather na at lahat, ganun pa rin hahaha. So sabi ko, "bakit dati kahit mainit nagagawa naman natin everyday?". Natawa siya. She explained na dati kasi minsan lang daw kami magkita unlike now na lagi naman kaming magkasama. When we got serious, sabi ko I feel less loved when there's no intimacy. But I think I made her feel na puro sex lang gusto ko sa relationship namin. Nakita ko may repost siya na she feels lusted and not loved. Which made me sad because it's not true. But I'm not gonna list down everything that I do everyday to make her feel loved.

What do you think? May chance pa ba na ma-match niya yung sex drive ko? Anything I can try to spice things up? Or ako nalang mag-adjust? How do I lower my sex drive?

I really want this relationship to work. Bawi muna ako sakanya so she feels genuinely loved.