r/WLW_PH

Context: King Princess has recently sparked controversy because she mentioned in a podcast that she sleeps with men "when she's bored", all while still claiming she's a lesbian.

I don't know about you, but lesbians are women who are sexually and romantically attracted to only women.

Some people are saying we shouldn't be policing labels and should just let King Princess be. But in my opinion, there's a reason why we have labels. There's a reason why the "LGBTQIA+" acronym exists in the first place.

Words. have. meanings.

If we can't stick to what our labels mean, how can we expect people outside of our community to, at the minimum, understand us?

I also think it's harmful to claim that you're a lesbian, especially with a platform like KP's, and still say you sleep with men. It feeds into the narrative that lesbians "just need to find the right man."

King Princess is many things, but she is certainly not a lesbian.

What are your thoughts?

I know I’m not super conventionally attractive (or maybe it just depends on the person since looks are subjective), but this recent interaction left me confused.

I was at a coffee shop recently and happened to walk past a wlw couple while grabbing something near them. Out of nowhere, the masc gave me this super angry, death-glare look for no reason. And honestly, this isn't even the first time I've encountered this kind of behavior.

Like, calm down... I’m not trying to steal your girlfriend! lol

Honestly, it annoyed me because why are they acting worse than toxic men?

problem: probinsyana solo goer sa kanyang first sapphic party

context:

hi!!! so i saw sunny’s halloween event on oct 31 and i immediately bought a ticket without thinking. ive been hearing abt it for quite some time na so i really wanna try. so ayun na nga it’s gonna be my first time there and my wlw friends na mag-jowa di pa din nagcoconfirm if they will go with me kasi our other queer friends will be at hoesik.

im shy and an introvert kasi tapos im not from the metro pa pero gusto ko talaga matry umattend ng sapphic party ng sunny. this is my first step out of my comfort zone and mukang solo goer pa ata…. its weeks away and im already nervous 💀 so any tips for me? any thing i should know before going? should i go or should my probinsyana ass just stay and party with my queer friends in a gay bar??? please help. tysm!

Problem: I agreed with her idea to keep the friendship;)

Context:

Do you think exes can become friends? I mean we ended in a decent way, it only led us into that decision because I do not wish to put you in a tough spot, lalo na both homophobic parents natin. Its been a month since I stopped sending direct messages but there's a little interactions pa rin sa gc natin with our friends. Almost the same rin whenever nasa campus tayo, whenever our friends are around nag uusap tayo pero deep down naman you know that I still love you, jusko pls. I won't say it pero kapag tayong dalawa na lang magkasama ganon pa rin actions and care ko sayo, except we avoid being close and flirty.

to the person who's reading this, do you think okay lang na may gantong friendship?

Lately, I haven’t been feeling so well physically. I’ve been having a hard time digesting food, so I’ve been trying to be more careful with what I eat.

And these past few days, my girlfriend has been buying me fruits and vegetables. She’s also been cooking vegetable dishes for me, just trying to help me feel better and make things a little easier for me.
And somehow, in the middle of all that, I had this realization:

I’m actually really lucky.

It made me think about my past relationship.
I once had an ex-girlfriend whom I loved very, very deeply. It took me years to truly get over her. For a long time, I thought losing her was one of the saddest things that had ever happened to me.
But looking back now, with a little more distance and maturity, I realize that maybe letting go of each other was actually one of the best things that could have happened to both of us.

I remember one particular situation.
She had an old iPhone case that she didn’t like anymore. She also used to complain that her phone battery would run out after only a few hours, and that she didn’t have a good quality case.

So for our monthsary, I thought I’d surprise her.
I bought her a power bank and a new phone case. I even had them shipped early because I wanted to make sure they’d arrive on time.

I wasn’t expecting anything grand in return. I just saw something she needed, thought about her, and wanted to make her life a little easier.

But when she received them, instead of being happy, she told me she didn’t like the power bank because it wasn’t Xiaomi and that Xiaomi was better.
She also didn’t like the phone case because it was a hard case, and she preferred soft cases.
I remember being hurt by that.

Not because she didn’t like the gifts themselves. People are allowed to have preferences. It’s not wrong to prefer Xiaomi or a soft phone case.
What hurt was the feeling behind it.

When you love someone, sometimes you see a small problem in their life and your instinct is simply, “Maybe I can help with that.”

You spend time thinking about what they might need. You spend money. You make arrangements. You try to make their life a little easier.

And when that effort is met with disappointment instead of appreciation, it can really hurt.
At the time, I didn’t fully understand what that feeling meant.

But now, experiencing the way my current girlfriend cares for me, I understand it a little better.
She doesn’t have to do grand things.
She just notices.

She notices that I’m not feeling well.
She notices what might make me feel better.
She buys me fruits. She gets me vegetables. She cooks for me.

And there’s something incredibly comforting about being loved by someone whose instinct is to care for you—not because you asked, but because they noticed you needed it.

And that made me realize something else:
Sometimes, we can spend years mourning the person we lost, without realizing that what we actually lost was something we were never meant to keep.

I loved my ex. I really did.

But loving someone deeply doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re meant to spend your life with them.
Sometimes a relationship ends not because the love wasn’t real, but because the relationship wasn’t right for you.

And sometimes, years later, you look at the person you’re with now and realize:
“Oh. So this is what it feels like when love feels like care.”

So if you’re currently in a relationship and you’re wondering whether that person is really the one for you, don’t just look at how much you love them.
Look at how they treat you.

Look at how they respond when you’re struggling.
Look at whether they notice the little things.
Look at whether caring for you comes naturally to them.

And maybe most importantly, look at how you feel when you’re loved by them.

Because sometimes, the right relationship doesn’t feel like constantly trying to prove that you’re worth loving.

Sometimes, it just feels like someone quietly buying you fruits and vegetables because they know you’re not feeling well.

And honestly, I’m just really grateful that I get to experience that now.

Problem: My gf has cheated on me for more than 7 years.

Goal: Need some perspective because I think the way I'm dealing with this now is not the best idea.

Context: We fought for more than 7 years just to finally live together because we were LDR. I had to travel 5–6 hours just to see her. Then came the thing we were both so afraid of—her parents and relatives setting her up for a parental arrangement. I remember how much we cried during those times. But she found the courage to run away with my help and her brother from her mother’s side.

She moved to Manila, and later, I followed. We had been living here for more than a year already, but we still weren’t living together because of our work location but we often see each other. Then we finally found a place, and we were so happy because after so many years, we were finally going to live together.

I went home to Mindanao for a vacation because I missed my family so much. When I came back, she picked me up at the airport. On our way home, I sensed that something was different. Whenever we were in a Grab, she would always grab my hand so we could hold hands. That time, she didn’t. I initiated it, but later I took my hand away to grab something and put it back on her lap. She didn’t take it again. I brushed it off at the time, but now I realize why.

She had a chill-out night with her officemates, but she didn’t come home until broad daylight. She said she hadn’t come home because she was giving herself time to think. I was so scared because she didn't seem like herself. Knowing they had been drinking, I thought something had happened to her. I was already crying even if she hadn't said anything yet because I was so scared that something bad had happened to her, but she told me she was fine and just hungover.

Then she said something that tore me apart, she said that maybe living together wasn’t for us and that she didn’t feel any spark in our relationship anymore.

I respected her decision, but in my mind, I thought I would just give her space, make extra effort, and ask her to be my girlfriend again this December, on what was supposed to be our 8th anniversary.

Then she got sick. I took care of her, and because I have a weak immune system, I got sick too. I didn’t mind because I wanted her to take care of me, which she did—but not the way she used to.

On the second night, my fever was really high. I knew she noticed because she touched my forehead and asked if I had taken my medicine. I said yes, but it was like 5 hrs ago. I expected her to give me my medicine, but she didn’t. So, I got up and took my meds.

That was when I realized that maybe there really was no chance anymore, and I needed to start taking care of myself. So I set an alarm for 3:00 am to take my medicine.

When I lay down again, I saw that her phone was open.

And there it was.

I found out that just two weeks after I went home, she had slept with someone else because they were drunk.

It happened when our friends were drinking at our place. There were five of them that night, but three went home. This girl stayed because her place was quite far. She was our “Ate” figure, we genuinely see her as our Ate. They used to be roommates (bedspace), which was how they met, and eventually, we became friends too.

We used to talk about her sometimes and how disgusted we were with the things she did. She had an ex-girlfriend whom she often visited, even though her ex already had a partner. They would find ways to sleep together, even when the partner was around. She said her ex would sleep beside her whenever she visited that's why they could do it, this is all according to our Ate story.

She’s old already that's why she's the Ate in the group but her brain doesn't seem to be developed.

Then I read their messages. There was already an “I love you” and even an endearment between them.

I was literally shaking.. . the betrayal is too much.

How could she do this to me? What happened to us?

I asked how many times it happened. She said it only happened when they were drunk. But later, I found out they had also gone to Sogo because, according to my ex, she didn’t want to do it in our place as if it didn't happened yet. What hurts more is that it was my ex who initiated it.

Of all people, she chose someone like her.

The hardest part is that we’re still living together because I can’t afford to move out, and we agreed to finish our one-year contract. Also, this is my way of taking care of her not to pursue what they had, because I know that this Ate is just using her. My ex's personality is a people pleaser; it's hard for her to say no and easy to believe in something. I know for a fact that she did not initiate what happened when they were drunk because when she's drunk she's just going to sleep, she falls asleep so easily even when not drunk. But maybe her love for me is not that deep at all to give in easily. I just can't believe this is happening.

I’ve never felt this kind of pain before; it's unbearable. I don’t know how to move on. Every time I have free time, all I can think about is what they did.

I pray that this feeling will disappear soon.

Please give me some tips on how I can heal from this.

Ako lang ba nababading lalo kay Atty. Divinagracia??😂 Ang witty kasi ng mga pang aasar niya kay Atty. Vinluan.😂💖 From the 80% bar rating nung kakilala nila na kilala din nating lahat to the 11 days na withdrawal na parang sa confidential funds lang.😎

Bardagulan na may konting Math at pa back-to-you. Mahal na ata kita Atty. Mae.🫠😂