u/ToeUnique

Problem / Goal: I found out my gf lied to me from the beginning like everything she told me.

Context: 

So this is probably one of the weirdest and most emotionally confusing situations I’ve ever been in, and I honestly don’t know what I’m supposed to feel.

I’m a girl, and I’ve been in a relationship with my girlfriend for 5 months. We met earlier this year and started dating after about a month. I genuinely fell for her. I got attached to her, her personality, our conversations, everything. I thought I knew who I was in love with.

For almost 6 months, I kept asking her if we could do a video call, pero lagi siyang may reason. Sometimes she would say na insecure siya sa eyes niya or nahihiya siya. And honestly, hinayaan ko lang. I guess nagpadala ako sa mga matatamis niyang salita and sa way niya ako tratuhin. I was already emotionally attached, so I didn't push the issue as much as I probably should have.

I know some people might immediately think, “Baka scammer yan.” But the weird thing is, she never asked me for money. Not even once.

In fact, siya pa yung willing gumastos for me. She would always insist na siya na mag-order ng food for me, and most of the time tinatanggihan ko talaga sya. So I never really had that feeling na she's trying to get something financially from me. That's probably also why I didn't think the situation was something more serious.

Then recently, I found out that she had been using another woman's identity.

As in, the name, photos, and parts of this other woman's identity were being used as if they belonged to my girlfriend.

Obviously, I was devastated. I felt betrayed and started questioning basically everything about our relationship. What was real? What parts of her stories were real? Did I actually know the person I had been dating?

But here's the part that I can't really explain. I found the real woman whose identity had been used.

And instead of only feeling angry about what happened, I started becoming curious about her. Then that curiosity turned into something else.

I started looking at her account and wondering what she was actually like. Not the version of her that I had unknowingly been introduced to, but the actual person.

And now I feel like I'm yearning for someone I've never even met.

It's so weird because this woman has done absolutely nothing to me. She doesn't know me. She doesn't know what happened. She doesn't know that someone used her identity, and she definitely doesn't know that I'm sitting here wondering what it would have been like if I had met her normally.

I've caught myself thinking things like, What if I had met her first?

What if I had just come across her account naturally and thought she seemed cool? What if I had asked for her Instagram? What if we became friends? Would I have liked her? Would she have liked me?

I know I'm probably romanticizing a stranger because I don't actually know her. I only know what I can see online. I don't know her personality, her flaws, how she treats people, or whether we'd even get along. Pero somehow, after finding out that the person I loved wasn't who I thought she was, I started wanting to know the person whose identity had been taken. And that makes me feel incredibly guilty and confused because I still have feelings for my girlfriend.

I don't think I suddenly stopped loving her. That's what makes this so difficult. I feel like I'm attached to the person I thought she was, while at the same time I'm curious about the real woman behind the identity.

Part of me wonders if I'm actually yearning for the real girl, or if I'm yearning for the version of my relationship that I thought I had. Maybe I'm just trying to find something real after realizing that so much of what I believed was based on a lie.

I've even thought about messaging the real woman just to say hi and maybe become friends. But I don't know if that's completely inappropriate or if I'm just acting on my emotions right now. I don't want to make her uncomfortable or drag her into my relationship drama. She never asked to be part of any of this.

At the same time, there's this part of me that keeps thinking, I wish I had met her naturally. Not because I think she owes me anything. I just wonder what it would have been like to meet the real person instead of falling in love with someone who was pretending to be her.

And honestly, that's probably the part I struggle with the most. I don't know if I miss her, because I never knew her. Maybe I miss the possibility of her. Maybe I miss the person I thought I was loving. Or maybe I'm just trying to hold onto something real after finding out that the person I loved had been living behind someone else's identity.

I genuinely don't know. So I'm posting here because I need some outside perspective.

Would you consider this a normal reaction after discovering something like this, or am I projecting all of my feelings onto someone I don't actually know?

And would messaging the real woman just to introduce myself and maybe become friends be crossing a line?

PS. This is actually my first wlw relationship so I'm just really messed up right now. I can't even work properly thinking bout this. And I know it's just 5 months and madali lang mag move on pero yung malaman mong niloko ka parang nakakabaliw na ang hirap paniwalaan kasi sobrang galing nya mag kwento na never ko sya nakitaan na may mali maliban lang sa video call. So yeah, I'm so stupid to fell in love with a girl na hanggang calls lang ang ginawa.

Problem: I'm scared to bring my dildo for our domestic flight. Is there a difference if i do hand-carry or checkin baggage?

Context: We will go on a vacation with my gf in boracay and she wants me to bring my dildo. (it's the crystal dildo, i attached the sample photo from google). I really want to bring it, but I'm just scared and shy lol. We both want to try new things and this is our first meet-up since she's from korean and we will be meeting after 6 months of ldr.

https://preview.redd.it/m0gy4xf64vch1.png?width=387&format=png&auto=webp&s=f5e9f660127c6bd7b350e7120e49cf420d081058

Problem/Goal: Sobrang sexually attracted ako sa gf ko and I can't stop thinking about her

Context:  I recently came out as Bi after I met this girl last March, nag start kami as friends nakilala ko sya sa online game, then lagi na kaming magka chat everyday until gabi hanggang sa abutin kami ng umaga. Yung tipong hindi kami maubusan ng topic. Hanggang sa nagkakacrush na ko sa kanya, kahit di pa kami nag kikita since taga korea sya. Then nag sendan kami selfie pics para naman alam namin itsura ng isa't isa, dun ako lalong nahulog sa kanya. Kasi sobrang poganda nya! Hindi ako nag sasawa titigan yung picture nya.

Fast forward, hanggang sa umamin din sya sakin na gusto nya din ako and mag 3 months na kami ngayon ng crush ko lang dati. Until now sobrang kilig pa din ako sa kanya. Gustong gusto ko yung boses nya and napaka gentle nya, if ever may misunderstanding kami, since di din sya marunong sa english, pinipilit nyang makipag communicate para lang maayos yung misunderstanding namin at natutuwa ako sa kanya at nakakaproud sya kasi before sobrang hiya nya mag salita sa call pero now pinipilit nya mag english para makapag usap kami everyday at iwas misunderstanding. If may di kami maintindihan sa isa't isa dahil sa language barrier, tinatawanan na lang namin.

Then recently, sobrang sexually attracted ko sa kanya like marinig ko lang boses nya ang bilis kong maturn on sa kanya then ang ending makikinig sya sakin habang sa call kami or video call and papanuorin nya ako. Then everyday na kong horny sa kanya, and super bago to sakin. I had ex bf before pero di ako ganito ka horny nung bago kami ng ex ko, Pero dito sa gf ko, iba yung tama ko sa kanya. If horny ako, G din sya pero tatanungin pa nya ko if komportable ako. Then this August mag babakasyon sya dito for 2 weeks and super excited ako at kinakabahan.

Normal lang ba na ganito ako ka horny sa gf ko. First gf ko sya, tinry ko na idiscipline sarili ko pero maisip ko lang sya, di ko maiwasan mag daydream about sa kanya. And 2 weeks syang mag babakasyon dito and sabi nya pa na gusto nya araw araw daw kami s*x and susulitin nya daw na makasama ako.

Hi! Pllanning to go to boracay for 2 weeks in August. How much po kaya yung estimated budget for 2 pax?

I'm 28 F and I suddenly want to work abroad. The problem is hindi ko alam kung anong country and industry/ field ang pwede kong applyan. I have 5 yrs exp as CSR then VA since 2024, although hindi pa din sapat yung sahod ko para makatulong sa utang ng mom ko at para mapaayos yung house namin.

Naiisip ko lang is Korea and Japan na country na pwede kong applyan, and currently learning korean if ever makapasa ako sa EPS Topik. Gusto ko din naman mag broad hanggat pwede pa ko mag abroad and ayaw kong mag sisi sa huli na hindi ko tinry mag work abroad. I also want to work sa Australia pero hindi ko sure saang field ako pasok.

I need advice po, or what are your suggestions po specially dun sa mga may experience working abroad. Thank you po!!